On Friday night, I couldn’t wait to see him again and was so glad he was coming back over to my place for our fourth date. He’d said that since it was a Friday, he’d bring Chinese food. I was thrilled!
There was a knock at my apartment door and I raced over to the door, checked the peephole, and let Robert in.
“Hi!” I said, giving him a big, wet kiss on his cheek.
“Hello to you too. What did I do to deserve that?”
“Just for being you. Come in,” I said, opening the door wide.
He walked in and placed the bag of food on the table as I shut the door and went over to the refrigerator to get our drinks. I’d set the table earlier.
“Everything smells so yummy!” I said, placing two soft drinks down on the table as he unloaded the boxes. I opened them and put a serving spoon in each.
“Trust me, it is. I’ve been going to this Chinese place ever since I moved into my house. It’s my favorite place. Well, dig in,” he said, motioning to the food once we both sat down.
We each scooped food onto our plates. So far, since meeting Robert, I’d gained four pounds. I knew that it wasn’t much yet, but at least I was headed in the right direction, or that’s what he said at least.
“Does everything taste as good as it smells?”
“Yes!” I said, swallowing a fork full of beef and broccoli.
We talked about our days as we continued eating. Mine wasn’t nearly as interesting as his had been. That’s what happened when you compared the day of a secretary to the day of a doctor.
“Is that all you’re going to eat?” he asked, looking at me as I put my fork down.
One thing I’d learned very quickly after beginning to date Robert was that he thought I should be eating almost as much as him.
“Yes. I’m full,” I said, leaning back in my chair and rubbing my belly.
“You’re never going to gain any weight if you still hardly eat anything.”
“I ate a lot! I ate some of the beef and broccoli, sweet and sour chicken, fried rice, and a pot sticker!”
“You had one spoonful of each on your plate. That does not constitute a lot of food. Come on, Juliana. I want you to try and eat a little more. You’re headed in the right direction, but you will only stay that way if you continue to eat decent sized portions.”
How did he know that I only had one spoonful of each? Does he have eyes in the back of his head? “Yes, Daddy,” I said sarcastically without even thinking as I grabbed the beef and broccoli container and took three more scoops.
“If I was your daddy right now, little girl, you would be on my lap with your bottom bare, and I would be giving you a spanking for the tone of voice you just used with me.”
I stared at him in disbelief. How could he threaten to do that to me? He knew what had happened to me before.
“Y-you can’t d-do that,” I stuttered, wanting to make sure he knew that, without a doubt in his mind.
“You’re right. Right now, I can’t. But, that is one thing that I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”
“What? Spanking me?” I asked, incredulously. If he ever thought that I would allow him to do that, then he was just plain out crazy.
“Sort of. I want you to finish your dinner and then we will talk about it.”
“But—”
“No buts, young lady. Finish your dinner, we’ll put away the leftovers, and then we will talk.”
“Fine,” I said, taking another bite of beef and broccoli. I wasn’t sure if I should eat quickly or slowly. Part of me wanted to know what he wanted to talk about. I had an inkling, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure.
Another part of me was terrified. If he wanted to talk about what I thought he did, then I wasn’t sure if we would still be dating by the end of the night.
* * *
It was twenty minutes before we finally sat down on my couch and I looked at Robert, waiting for him to begin.
“I’m just going to come out and say what I want. Juliana, I would like us to start having an age play relationship along with our adult relationship.”
Even before he finished, I was shaking my head. That was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to be tied up again and forced to do what my daddy said.
“Juliana, come here and hear me out,” he said, holding his arms open.
I climbed into his lap immediately and he wrapped his arms around my body. Once again, that feeling of safety and comfort washed over me. I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. I really liked being held in his arms. I especially liked it when he started to rub long strokes up and down my back.
Why couldn’t he just be happy with the way our relationship was going right now?
“I don’t think you’ve realized this yet, Juliana, but during our past three dates, we’ve added elements of age play to them.”
I looked up at him and said, “No, we haven’t. You didn’t tie me up, make me do chores, or put me in a diaper.” I whispered that last part. I was embarrassed to tell him about when I’d had to wear one.
“Sweetie pie, first I want you to forget everything that you consider to be age play because what you consider age play, I consider neglect. Secondly, remember on our first date, I helped you wash your hands and I brushed your hair until you fell asleep. Then, on our third date, you watched a movie in my lap while I fed you, and tonight, you’re sitting in my lap again.”
“So?” Those things had nothing to do with an age play relationship.
“Age play isn’t just about punishment and it certainly doesn’t have to be about humiliation if you don’t like that. It’s supposed to be about a bond between two people. One person gets to act younger than they are, and that person gets to be silly and make mistakes. The other person gets to guide the little, protect them from the evils of the world, and correct their mistakes when they happen.”
He paused as if waiting for me to react. I didn’t know what to say. After Boyle, I had promised myself that I would never do anything age play related, and now Robert wanted me to start an age play relationship again. How did I decide what to do?
The confusion must have shown on my face because he asked, “How about I give you a scenario and you tell me if you like it or not?”
“Okay.”
“Imagine you just worked a full day at the office. You come home and we eat dinner together. I could possibly be feeding you if you’re too tired. After dinner, I bring you upstairs and give you a relaxing bath. Afterwards, I would dress you in some comfortable pajamas and comb out your hair as you play with some of your toys. We could watch a movie, play hide and seek, or color for a while before bed time. Once bed time comes, I would read you a story and then I would feed you a bottle filled with warm milk and you would drift off to sleep, safely in our bed.”
I closed my eyes as he was talking and pictured what he was saying. I would wear my pink flannel pajama set I’d bought for myself last Christmas. I would most likely like to color after my bath. Coloring always soothed me. Then we would read books by Eric Carle because his stories had the prettiest pictures in them.
“That sounds really nice,” I said, opening my eyes after a few moments of silence. That was nothing like how Boyle had treated me when we would role play. I liked Robert’s version much better. And it got me thinking; if that’s how he’d treat me when we were role playing, how would he treat me when I had to get a spanking? Would he be as nice when he was giving me a spanking, or would he be mean and enjoy watching me get punished?
“If you say yes to playing with me, it could all be yours.”
“But I don’t like spankings and I don’t want to be left alone.”
“No little girl or boy likes getting spankings, but they have to. How else would they learn not to repeat a bad behavior?”
“Just yell at us?” I asked, hoping that would be a suitable answer.
“No. Yelling just goes in one ear and out the other,” Robert chuckled, tickling my stomach.
“S-sto
p…” I begged, laughing so hard under his knowing fingers. He finally stopped and I had to catch my breath.
“Okay, getting back on topic. I can understand why you don’t like being alone, so the only time I’ll leave you alone is when it’s your nap time. Otherwise, you’ll sleep in the same bed as me so we can cuddle.”
I thought about what he said and I would be okay being left alone for nap time. Nap times weren’t that long. If what he said was true, I wouldn’t mind acting little around him.
With that thought in mind, I said, “Okay. We can try it once. But if I don’t like it, then I’m not going to keep playing with you.”
“That’s all I can ask of you, baby girl,” he said, giving me an encouraging smile.
Now that I had committed to at least trying an age play relationship, I had to know how he would act when he was punishing me. I was nervous to ask for what I wanted next, but I figured that I had to know, before this went any further. “R-Robert?”
“Yes, baby girl?”
“W-will you s-spank me?” I asked, looking up into his eyes.
His eyebrows nearly shot past his hairline when he heard my request. “You want me to spank you? Juliana, punishments are only for when my baby girl is naughty. I will never punish you just for the fun of it.”
“But… I was rude to you at dinner… and I need to know.” This was harder than I thought it would be.
“Need to know what, sweetie?” He was clearly confused and I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t think of any little girl who would voluntarily ask for a spanking.
“How you are when you do a spankin’. Please,” I begged. As much as I hated feeling pain, I had to know how he acted. If he acted anything like Boyle when he spanked me, then I would never allow him to do it again.
“Alright, Juliana, because you’re asking for it and you did sass back to me at dinner. I want you to stand up and remove your pants and underwear. Place them on the coffee table and then lie back down over my lap.”
I stood up on shaky legs, removed my clothes, and laid back down on his lap. I felt so exposed in this position. He could do whatever he wanted to do to me. Flashbacks started going through my head of when Boyle had spanked me. He’d liked to use other things to hit me that left me bruised for a solid week.
“Tell me why I’m giving you a spanking, Juliana,” Robert said, pulling me out of my memories.
“Because I was rude to you and because I asked for it.”
“That’s right,” he said, softly running his fingers over my bare bottom, sending shivers through my entire body. “If at any time during this spanking it’s too much for you, I want you to say the word, red. That will stop everything. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He ran his fingers over my bottom for a couple more minutes, which stretched my nerves to the wire. I just wanted to get this over with, not prolong it! I had to know if he would spank in the same vicious, unloving way that Boyle had. If he did, I would never speak to him again.
Smack! “You will—be polite—when I—or someone else—is talking to you.”
The first set of spanks startled me. They were rapid, quick smacks that rotated around my entire bottom, and he continued to scold me in between each couple of spanks. Each smack stung and heated my bottom up. It didn’t exactly hurt, but it wasn’t comfortable.
Smack! “You will—trust that I—will take care of you.”
The spanking had started off warm, but it now turned into a fiery pain. Each smack felt like Robert had a hand made of steel. I began to whimper and tried to move my bottom away, but he put his elbow down on my lower back to keep me still. Why did I asked for this again? I wondered as I bit back a cry when a particularly hard smack landed on the left side of my bottom.
Smack! “You. Will. Eat. More. Food. Without. Complaining.” With that last word, he slapped the center of my bottom extra hard. I screamed as pain radiated its way across my butt. I couldn’t help the tears that cascaded down my face. I kept apologizing profusely, promising I wouldn’t be rude to him ever again.
“It’s okay, baby girl. You’re forgiven now. Come here,” he said, pulling me up and turning me so I was sitting in his lap. He reached for the blanket I kept on my couch and wrapped me up in it.
“I’m… so… sorry!” I heaved, grabbing a fistful of his shirt to pull him closer to me.
“It’s okay, baby girl. Everything is forgiven.” He kept cooing to me as he rubbed my back. I snuggled closer to him, just wanting to be close.
After several minutes of more teary sorrys, I finally shed my last tear and looked up at Robert. This spanking was nothing like how Boyle’s had been. It had hurt a lot, but it had been bearable. Granted, even though it was bearable, that didn’t mean that I would be going out of my way to get another one again.
“Thank you for doing that,” I whimpered.
“Do you want to tell me why you wanted a spanking? Earlier you said you hated spankings.”
I looked down at my fingers in my lap, not sure if I was ready to admit why I wanted him to spank me. I didn’t want him to be angry that I thought he would act like Boyle while he was punishing me.
“Juliana, in a relationship like this, both partners have to be completely honest with one another or else problems are bound to pop up.”
“You’re right. I… I wanted you to spank me so… so I knew that you weren’t like… him.”
“Boyle?”
I nodded, still staring at my fingers. He’s going to leave me now.
“And?”
“And what?” I asked, glancing up at him. Why isn’t he leaving?
“And am I anything like him when I spank you?”
“No! He always used his belt when he spanked me, and it was always long and hard and terrible. That’s why I wanted to try it with you. If you were going to do that, then I would never go out with you again. Your spanking did hurt, but it wasn’t too much for me to handle. Plus, you didn’t lock me up afterward. This was the best spanking I’ve ever had,” I said quickly. I needed him to understand that.
“Juliana, what did I tell you before? What Boyle did to you was not how a good age play relationship is.”
“I know, I just… I just still had to see for myself.”
He sighed and said, “I get it. Thank you for trusting me enough to show you that getting punishments hurt, but they aren’t the end of the world.”
I nodded, starting to get increasingly tired from all of the crying.
“Now that you’ve experienced your first spanking, I think the big question is, do you still want to try role playing with me?” He looked at me nervously and I almost wanted to laugh. I had just told him that he’d given me the best spanking I’d ever had and he was still nervous that I would leave him.
“Yes, please!”
He smiled and asked, “When do you want to start?”
“Next Friday night?”
“That works great for me. I can bring you over to my house and you could spend the night.”
“No!” I quickly said. I didn’t want to be in a strange place when we started role playing. Even though Robert was a really sweet guy, I was still afraid that he could do the same stuff that Boyle did to me. I looked at his face and felt horrible that I’d put that look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Robert. Can we just do it here? I would feel a lot more comfortable.”
“Of course we can, baby girl. I’ll be here at six again?”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, letting out a loud yawn. Since I began to date Robert, I had started to sleep better, but I still had a lot of nightmares. He said talking about them would make me feel better, but I didn’t want to talk to him about my past. I wanted him to see me as a normal girl, not one who constantly woke up crying.
“Want me to help you get ready for bed?”
“It’s only like 9:30. It’s not bedtime yet,” I said, letting out another yawn.
“I think it is. You’re exhausted. Come on, I’ll at the very lea
st help you change into your jammies.”
“Okay,” I said as he picked me up and carried me into my bedroom and placed me on my feet. He looked around my room and I could tell that he didn’t know where anything was. So I walked over to my dresser and pulled out some black sweat pants and a big red pajama top that I liked to wear to bed and with his help, I changed into the clothes.
“Alright, time to brush your teeth and go to the bathroom before bed!” he said, taking my hand and leading me into my bathroom. He helped me brush my teeth and then left to let me go to the bathroom.
Once I was done and my hands were washed, he held my hand and we walked back into my bedroom. He went over to my bed, pulled back my covers. “Hop in.”
I did and then he pulled the covers up to my chin and said, “Goodnight, Juliana. I’ll make sure to lock up once I leave. I’ll see you Friday night.”
He turned around and started to walk away, but stopped when I asked, “What, no goodnight kiss?” I had grown to enjoy our goodnight kisses very much. Especially since last night that had led to us making out on my couch for a solid twenty minutes.
“How could I forget?” he joked, turning around and sitting on the side of my bed. He leaned down and our lips met.
At first, it was a chaste kiss, but my arms looped around him, pulling him closer to me and the kiss deepened. His tongue dove into the depths of my mouth and I moaned, pulling him even closer.
I could feel myself start to get a little wet and I wished Robert could relieve the throbbing that settled between my thighs. His hands roamed up and down my torso until one of them slipped underneath my shirt and bra and began to fondle my breast. I pushed up trying to give him better access.
Just as things were starting to heat up, he broke the kiss and removed his hand from my breast. I groaned, falling back down on my bed.
“I love our goodnight kisses,” I said, breathlessly.
“I’m quite fond of them as well,” he said with a huge grin on his face.
“Stay then and we’ll make them even more fun,” I said, sitting up and giving him my best come hither look. I know… cheesy. But if it works, who cares.
Learning to Be Little Again Page 5
