by Ria
attack.'
Unprepared for the suddenness of his assault, she found herself crushed
against the length of him, his thighs hard against her own, while his mouth
took brutal possession of her soft lips. There was no escape from those
unrelenting arms about her, and keeping her lips unresponsive beneath the
demanding pressure of that hard mouth took every ounce of will-power she
possessed.
It seemed an eternity before he deigned to release her and, horrified at
herself, she swayed back against the wall. A mere second longer and she
would have responded in the most humiliating manner. Angry tears rushed
to her eyes as she lowered her head, allowing her hair to fall forward like a
veil of protection from his keenly perceptive glance.
'I shouldn't have done that, Janey,' he said thickly, 'but I don't regret it for
one moment. It was heaven and hell to hold you in my arms again, and I'll
risk anything to repeat the performance.'
She raised her head sharply, her cheeks pale as she increased the distance
between them. 'Go away and leave me alone—I hate you!'
'I know,' he said, arresting her glance with a mastery that made her realise
just how vulnerable she was. 'I hate myself as well, but I've learnt to live
with my faults, and not to dwell on the mistakes I've made in the past. The
future is what interests me, and you're part of that future whether you like it
or not. Andrew is my son, and you are my wife.' He seemed to grow in
stature, his coppery head tilted at an arrogant angle. 'I intend to break down
your resistance if it takes me a lifetime, so heed my warning.'
The silence in the room, after his departure, was broken only by the sound
of her laboured breathing as she fought desperately for a composure which
had totally deserted her. She stared hard at herself in the mirror, taking in her
flushed cheeks and angry grey eyes.
'You fool!' she told herself through clenched teeth. 'You thought you were
so clever, locking away your emotions and labelling them "forgotten".
Telling yourself that you hated him, when one kiss was enough to prove that
you'd make an idiot of yourself all over again. You hated him, and you'd
make him suffer, you said. Lovely vindictive thoughts, when you're not a
vindictive person by nature. You're nothing but a confused child, lashing out
at someone who's caused you pain, and weakening at the first step of a
friendly overture.' Her smile mocked her. 'Stop trying to fool yourself, and
admit that you still love him.'
Janey drew a painful breath, and turned away from the mirror, unable to
look herself in the eyes. It was impossible! She could not still love him after
all she had suffered. Could she? She could still feel the pressure of his arms
and lips, and her pulse quickened, giving her the answer in no uncertain
terms.
'Oh, God, what am I going to do?' she moaned softly^ burying her face in
her hands, and wishing herself a thousand kilometres away.
'I intend to break down your resistance if it takes me a lifetime,' he had
warned. Was he trying to imply that he still cared, or was it merely because
she seemed unobtainable? If she allowed herself to love him once more, he
would only tire of her eventually, and turn again to Sybil, she argued with
herself.
She clasped her arms about herself as if to ward off the pain. She had
loved him once—desperately, and he had allowed her to think that he felt the
same, while knowing that the understanding between himself and Sybil
Rampling was almost as binding as .the marriage ceremony itself. He had
kept this knowledge to himself, and she had given herself innocently in a
moment of passion. Andrew was a constant reminder of her folly, and the
reason Rudolph had forced her to marry him, but could she expect this
marriage to end in anything other than disaster?
Sybil Rampling was still very much a part of his life, and she made no
effort to hide the fact that she had been first to stake her claim. Rudolph had
also more or less told her that nothing could come between himself and
Sybil. Why then should she trust him on this occasion?
No! She had to keep the barricades up between them until she was more
sure of him, she decided finally. She wanted proof of his sincerity before she
offered her love a second time.
Later, curled up in bed, she shattered the final wall of pretence. No amount
of persuasion from Rudolph would have forced her to marry him if she had
not still cared. She wanted to be his wife, she wanted to belong to him, and
all her protestations to the contrary had been a shield behind which she had
hidden her true feelings. She had been a fool not to realise this, but she was
a fool no longer. She was aware of the pitfalls ahead, of the animosity his
family generated towards her, and Sybil's determination to come between
them just as she had done two years ago. Janey had the advantage of
marriage, but could she fight against such a deadly adversary as Sybil
Rampling?
Her first week-end as a member of the Brink family was not entirely
unsuccessful, for she kept to herself mostly, not wishing to intrude where she
was not wanted. Rudolph tried unobtrusively to draw her into the family
circle, but Esme's disapproving glances made her cringe from the idea, using
Andrew as an excuse for her reluctance.
She was strolling through the grounds with Andrew the Sunday afternoon
when Sybil arrived in her cream sports car. Janey watched with some
trepidation as she stepped out on to the gravel driveway with a generous
exposure of her shapely legs, but there was a nervous fluttering in her throat
when Sybil approached her across the magnificent lawn. Janey could not
help but admire the elegant cut of her clothes, and the easy grace with which
she moved. Here was perfection, she thought with a touch of envy, as her
glance dwelled briefly on the sleek black head and the flawless features. It
was a hot afternoon in late summer, and Janey was aware that her dress was
clinging uncomfortably to her body, yet Sybil managed somehow to look
fresh and cool despite the stifling heat.
'I'm glad of this opportunity to speak to you alone,' she said after a
perfunctory greeting, her voice low and husky. 'You realise, of course, that
this marriage won't last.'
Janey was momentarily stunned by the suddenness of her attack, but she
pulled herself together sharply. ‘I take it that you're referring to the
understanding between Rudolph and yourself?'
'Exactly.'
A slow anger uncoiled itself within her as those dark brown eyes appraised
her coolly. Tell me, Miss Rampling, if your marriage was such a certainty
two years ago, why did it never eventuate?'
Those perfectly arched eyebrows rose a fraction, but Sybil remained quite
unperturbed. 'My dear girl, after the death of Rudy's father, the family
business was in a state of collapse. It took Rudy several months of hard
work to build it up once more into the flourishing business it is today.' She
gestured expressively with those slender, manicured hands. 'Naturally, there
was no question of marriage until he'd succeeded in what he had set out to
do.'
'And now that the crisis is over, I'm once again the fly in the ointment.'
'If you'd like to put it like that... yes.'
Janey bit down hard on her lip to stem the flow of angry words that rose to
the surface. It would be useless to lose her temper in this verbal combat with
Sybil, for she would cunningly turn it to her own advantage, Janey realised
sensibly as she took a firm grip on her emotions.
'What makes you think that our marriage won't last?'
'You haven't the experience or the cultural background to hold a man like
Rudy,' came the self-satisfied reply. 'For a time he may try to make
something of this marriage, for the child's sake, but it won't take him long to
realise that his happiness lies with me. It always has, and it always will.'
There was a hollow feeling in Janey's chest as she stared after Sybil's
retreating figure. There was such a large amount of truth in Sybil's statement
that she could not bring herself to be angered by it. Rudolph had married her
for the sake of their child, and, duty bound, he might endeavour to make a
success of it. But, with his heart elsewhere, their marriage could never
succeed on such an insecure foundation.
Andrew tugged at her dress, and she felt her heart lurch painfully as she
glanced down into laughing eyes that were a continual reminder of Rudolph.
Tears stung her eyelids as she swung him up into her arms, and pressed him
against her with a fierce desperation. Blissfully unaware of the part he
played in this emotional tangle, he babbled away in his own manner of
speech, while his fingers became enmeshed in auburn hair that displayed
flashes of gold as the sunlight caressed it.
Sybil remained long enough to be invited to afternoon tea in the shady
summer house. She sat beside Rudolph, her voice lowered to suggest an
intimacy between them that filled Janey with an aching longing that left her
limp. She tried to focus her attention on Andrew, but found her glance
returning relentlessly to that arrogant head so close to Sybil's. He was
laughing softly at something she was saying, and sheer unadulterated
jealousy ploughed along Janey's veins, twisting the knife in her heart and
ruthlessly exposing a wound she had thought completely healed.
'More tea, Janey?' Mrs Brink offered, her glance softening as she caught a
glimpse of pain in Janey's clear grey eyes. 'Pass me your cup, my dear. It
would be nice of you to keep me company as I'm usually the only one to
have a .second cup of tea.'
It was the first gesture of friendliness from Rudolph's mother, and Janey
forced a smile to her unwilling lips. Hungry for acceptance, she felt a certain
warmth steal through her heart for this frail grey-haired woman. Her hand
trembled slightly as she accepted the freshly poured cup of tea from Mrs
Brink, but the hot liquid scalded her mouth and brought a rush of tears to her
eyes which she blinked away rapidly.
During those brief moments while her attention had been diverted, Andrew
had ambled across to Esme, who sat silently beside her mother. Janey froze
as she saw him lean against her knees, smiling up at her in his most
beguiling fashion. She held her breath as the young girl's startled glance met
hers, then, to her astonishment, Esme lifted him on to her lap. Janey watched
with some amusement as he proceeded to wriggle his way into the surly
young girl's affections, breaking down the barriers of restraint as only a child
can, with the innocent warmth of his smiles.
Janey relaxed momentarily, but not for long. Her glance clashed with
Rudolph's, and almost forgotten emotions" rose to the surface, mocking her
with their intensity. She would not be trapped again into giving her love so
freely, she was forced to remind herself, and the reason for this decision sat
beside him, her dark eyes triumphant, her elegant hand resting possessively
on his arm. Rudolph made no effort to extricate himself, and finally
transferred his attention back to Sybil.
The brilliance of the sun seemed to fade for Janey, and she shivered
involuntarily. What a fool she was, she derided herself sternly, to allow him
to affect her in this way. He had married her because he had considered it his
duty, but she would not allow him to enslave her heart. When Rudolph
discovered his error, and sought comfort with Sybil, Janey would emerge
unscathed, but wiser. Or so she hoped.
'I missed you at the golf club yesterday,' Sybil was saying accusingly to
Rudolph.
'I'll make a point of being there next Saturday, if nothing prevents me,' he
replied lazily, lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke into the air.
lI don't suppose you play, do you, Janey?'
She met Sybil's cool glance, while at the same time acutely aware of
Rudolph's heavy-lidded eyes regarding her intently. 'No, I don't, but I have
no intention of restricting Rudolph's activities.'
'I have a very sensible wife, Sybil,' Rudolph said
amiably, but Janey detected a hint of mockery beneath the surface. 'She
doesn't believe in curbing her husband's interests.'
'No dutiful wife would curb her husband's interests,' Mrs Brink
intervened calmly, and Janey shot her a thankful glance.
'It wouldn't do to tie you down, Rudy,' Sybil continued, her voice laced
with honey. 'You're much too vital to be tied to a woman's apron strings.
Besides, you're the only one who can give me a decent game of golf.'
Rudolph ignored this remark as he met Janey's cool grey glance.
'Perhaps I could teach you to play, Janey.'
A hint of dissatisfaction curled about Sybil's lips and her eyes became
watchful as she glanced from Rudolph to Janey.
'I might take you up on that some time,' Janey stated - calmly, unable to
ignore the smouldering anger in Sybil's eyes.
She could not have it all her own way, Janey decided. If she wanted
Rudolph, then she would have to fight for him. There were no rules in this
game and, after summing up her opponent, she realised that it could
become a distasteful battle.
There was a knock on the bathroom door that evening while Janey was
bathing Andrew, and Esme's head appeared around the door.
'May I come in?'
'Of course you may,' Janey replied instantly, unable to prevent the
quiver of apprehension that rushed through her.
It had to be something important for Esme to approach her in this way,
she decided as the young girl seated herself on the edge of the bath with
an aura of self-consciousness surrounding her.
'Why don't you let Dora bath him?' Esme began tentatively. 'It would
give you more time for yourself.'
'I know I should, but I always enjoy Andrew's bathtime,' Janey
explained, and a silence descended upon them once more, until it was
alleviated by Andrew's shrieks and their own laughter as they dodged the
water he was splashing . about.
'You've had enough now, I think,' Janey told him, and despite his wail
of protest, she lifted him out and wrapped him in a towel.
Janey was not sure whether this little sce
ne of domesticity would
mellow Esme at all, for she maintained an almost brooding silence as
she stood watching Janey prepare Andrew for bed. The reason for her
visit remained obscure to Janey, but whatever it was, she had no doubt
that it was as a result of Andrew's behaviour that afternoon.
'I owe you an apology, Janey,' Esme whispered, finally plucking up
enough courage to break the silence.
'I don't think so,' Janey countered with a rush of sympathy as she noticed
the strained look on Esme's face.
'Yes, I do, and you know it,' she insisted firmly. 'I've been extremely
rude to you, and I've said some dreadful things. I'm sorry.'
A smile plucked at Janey's lips. 'Now you've got that off your chest, do
you feel any better?'
'Yes.'
'I realise that it couldn't have been easy having a sister- in-law as well
as a young nephew thrust upon you so suddenly. I dare say I would have
reacted in the same way.'
'You're being kind, but it wasn't that entirely,' Esme contradicted, biting her
lip nervously. 'I've always been fond of Sybil, and I'm afraid I took it for
granted that Rudolph would marry her. They have always been close
,especially these last two years. I think everyone thought they would
eventually decide to get married. Sybil and her family were really
marvellous after Daddy died. They even offered to help Rudolph financially,
but he wouldn't hear of it. You know what my brother is like.'
Tm afraid I don't, Esme,' Janey admitted, swallowing at the constriction in
her throat. 'I know very little about Rudolph, despite the fact that I'm
married to him.'
Esme regarded her strangely for some moments. 'I have a vague
recollection that he mentioned meeting someone two years ago when Daddy
became so ill. Was it you?'
Janey nodded, unable to find her voice at that moment while her thoughts
relived the past so vividly.
'Everything was in such a mess after Daddy's death that I don't think any
of us really questioned him seriously about it,' Esme continued ruefully.
'And Rudolph was never one to place his own happiness first.'
Their conversation ended abruptly as Dora arrived to take charge of
Andrew while Janey changed for dinner.
'I'll see you later,' Esme excused herself, and Janey was left staring at the
door through which she had departed, a frown creasing her brow.
