There are only two things I don’t tell him. The incident with the vending machines because I’m not totally convinced yet it wasn’t all in my head. And that we met before as kids when I stopped him from crossing over into the afterlife. Who’s to say my actions that day aren’t what made him into who he is now? From what I can gather—reading between the lines—something tragic led him to becoming a chaser. What if I’d inadvertently set in motion whatever this tragic event was when I brought him back gifted?
He stares at me for a long time, causing some of my fears to bubble back up. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.
15
“Say something. You’re freaking me out being all silent.” I pick at the chipped pieces of the table. Anything to keep my hands busy and my mind off of all the ways things can go wrong now that I’ve told Sebastian most of my secrets. It doesn’t really work. Flakes of the table fall to the floor, and my mind still takes me to places I don’t want to go.
Sebastian promised I wouldn’t be something he’d need to chase, but now that he knows everything, maybe he’s changed his mind and that’s why he’s being so silent. Maybe he’s determined I’m too dangerous to exist like the angels have. Maybe I should run now and hope for a head start. My fingers inch toward my backpack, my eyes gauging the room for the best possible way of escape.
“Wow,” he finally says, his voice slicing through the silence of the room.
Startled, I flinch, my hands flattening out over the table. My heart thuds in my chest as I look over at him.
“I knew there was something different about you. But damn, a nephilim?” Sebastian studies me with fresh eyes, the shock of my informational dump morphing into something else. Instead of looking at me like I’m a dangerous freak—like I was expecting—he looks at me like I’m a puzzle piece he’s found hiding under the sofa and he’s now got to figure out where exactly I fit on the board. “I didn’t think they existed anymore. There hasn’t been a nephilim—not one that anyone knows about anyway—in over a thousand years. Maybe the vampires know what you are and that’s why they want you dead. Maybe they think you’re a threat to them.”
“Me? A threat? Ha. I’m probably the least threatening person on the planet. How could I be a threat to vampires? I didn’t even know they existed. And I probably never would have known at all if one hadn’t attacked me. I’m nobody. I’m a wallflower. A shy girl prone to panic attacks who’d rather stay out of the limelight than be in it. I cry like a baby when sad ASPCA commercials come on TV for crying out loud. How in any world, natural or otherwise, could any of that be construed as threatening?”
“You forget you’re a witch and a nephilim with suppressed abilities. If you were at full strength, who knows what you’d be capable of.”
“So, like Heaven’s bounty hunters, you think the vampires want me dead because they’re afraid of my potential? That’s stupid. It’s like saying we should kill all bees because they might sting us one day.”
“No one said fear was rational.”
“I don’t buy it. There’s got to be more to it than just simple fear. There has to be a reason behind everything and until I find out what, I’m never going to get my life back.” I chew on my bottom lip, contemplating the crazy ideas popping into my head when one really stupid one pushes its way to the front. “I can’t believe I’m about to suggest this, but... How can we catch a vampire?”
“You want to catch a vampire?” Sebastian raises an eyebrow, his expression one of skeptical amusement. Clearly, he doesn’t think I’m being serious.
Am I being serious? Do I really want to put myself in a position to seek out the very things trying to kill me?
“Yes,” I say with a confidence I don’t have. “If we can interrogate one, maybe we can find out who wants me dead. When Seth attacked me he suggested there was a specific person behind the threat. If we find that person, maybe we can find out the why.”
Leaning back in the chair, Sebastian crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes assessing my every movement. I keep my expression blank, hoping there won’t be any cracks for him to see through. He tilts his head to the side. “You really want to go out right now and find a vampire to interrogate?”
“Yes.” No. My heart skips a beat then speeds up.
“You’re one hundred percent sure?” He stares without so much as a blink.
“Yes.” No. The palms of my hands begin to sweat, my inner voice yelling for me to shut up. I mean, really, what am I doing? I am not ready to hunt down a vampire, and insane for even suggesting it.
I rein in my internal freak out while he stares at me even harder, a challenging gleam to his eyes. He’s waiting for me to crack. Admit I’m being crazy and back out. I probably should. My inner voice is yelling for me to, but my mouth stays closed.
“Okay.” Sebastian stands up and holds out a hand. “Let’s go.”
The floor yanks out from underneath my chair, leaving me free falling in my stupid suggestion as reality sets in. Sebastian agreed. I really thought he’d just tell me I’m crazy and propose something else, not say okay. My heartbeats trip over themselves. “W-we can’t go now. We still have fifteen minutes of detention left. We can’t just walk out.” Maybe it‘ll give him time to change his mind. Maybe it’ll give me time to grow a backbone. Who knows? Point is; I need a minute to wrap my head around what just happened.
He walks backward up the aisle way with a smile on his face. “Sure we can.” He’s testing me. I’m not sure if I can pass. I’m not sure I want to. I think I might have been too hasty, and now he’s getting us out of detention early, and I… and I…
The room becomes unsteady, tilting and swaying around me. The familiar grip of a panic attack sets in, my breaths increasing in its suffocating grasp. I clutch the edge of the table, my fingers turning white from the pressure. Not now. Please, not now. I close my eyes, forcing myself to focus only on my breathing. Slow breath in, slow breath out, slow breath in, slow breath out.
When I open my eyes, the room has stopped moving and Sebastian is approaching the Senora. He twists the ring around on his finger, bringing it to his lips. A soft blue glow lights up the letters etched into his ring one at a time beneath his whispered words before fading away. It reminds me of something I’ve seen before, but can’t quite remember.
A door.
There were shapes around a door and they glowed just like that.
Dread, fear, and a deep ache so intense it feels like my heart is literally being ripped in two, hits me like a punch straight to the sternum. The force of it knocks all the breath I just regained out in one big whoosh while the memories housing the emotions remain out of reach. If this is a hint at another suppressed memory rising to the surface, I’m not sure I want to remember it. Forcing it down, I focus back on Sebastian and the stupid plan I set in motion, hoping I can keep my panic attacks at bay long enough to make it through my insane suggestion.
“You coming?” Sebastian asks. There’s a daring tone to his voice as though he thinks I won’t go through with it. He waves me onward. My butt stays glued to the seat.
Maybe he’s right in his assumptions about me. And maybe I’m a fool for not conceding sooner. I mean, really, what am I doing? Am I really going to go through with this? Am I really going to hunt down a vampire because I’m too stubborn to tell Sebastian I’ve changed my mind? Am I really willing to risk my life for something I’m not so sure I can do?
Sebastian’s lips turn up at the corners.
Pride gets me up out of the chair.
Capturing a vampire to interrogate is my idea. It’s dumb, and it’s dangerous and I am not prepared for it by any means, but I can’t chicken out now. I should, it would be the smart thing, but I won’t because hiding on the sidelines won’t save me. I have to step up and do something. And I’ll be damned if I will be some damsel in distress who needs someone else to fight my battles. My whole life, everyone’s taken the decision of what’s best for me out of my hands. It’s time I
take it back. I’m a witch nephilim hybrid forbidden to exist because of the powers I might wield someday. I should be fully capable of taking care of myself and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
If I don’t get myself killed first, my inner voice whispers in the back of my mind.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head for the door.
At Mr. Jackson’s desk the Senora gathers up her things, stuffing her book and some papers into an oversized purse she picks up from underneath the desk. I give her a look, silently asking if it’s really okay to leave. Part of me is kind of hoping she’ll yell for Sebastian and me to take our seats and I won’t have to prove my potential badassness just yet, despite the kickass inner speech I just gave myself.
“Si, si, you two niños run along. I’ll lock up here.” Senora Sanchez waves us away.
I guess this is it. I’m really going to go with Sebastian to hunt down a vampire. This is insane.
I swallow down spit as thick as mud as I head out the door, schooling my features into something that hopefully says, I’m a cool badass who can do this, and not, I’m about to crap my pants because I really can’t do this, but I will anyway to prove I’m not about to crap my pants.
I pull out my phone, a slight tremble to my hands as I send a quick text to Jack to let him know I’ll be home later and he doesn’t have to pick me up.
At least I hope I’ll be home later and not ripped to shreds in a back alley somewhere.
A rush of bad memories crawls over my skin at the thought and I can’t help but remember the last two encounters I had with vampires—pain, death, fighting for my life, lots of blood everywhere. Clearly, I’m insane for wanting to seek them out. Or brave, I think to myself, hoping to pump up my confidence. It doesn’t really work. So instead, I try shoving all the awful thoughts away and pretending I’m an emotionless robot with a job to do. Yeah, that doesn’t really work either. I’m screwed.
I stuff my phone into my backpack and follow Sebastian down the hallway, ignoring the way my heartbeats increase with each step I take.
♪Message. Message. You’ve got a message.♪
I startle and nearly trip over my feet, my heart speeding up tenfold. I pull my phone out with shaking hands, wanting to scream every curse word I can think of at it for nearly being the cause of my death. I can see the engraving on my headstone now. Here lies Indiana Grace Bellamy. Taken too soon by a massive coronary caused by an incoming text message with perfect timing. It takes me three tries to open the text. If I can’t get it together, I’m not going to last ten seconds when faced with a vampire.
~ Where are you going? Chuck kissed me today, and I wanted to tell you about it.
I stare at my phone in confusion, temporarily forgetting my fears of hunting down a vampire and having it rip my face off with its razor sharp fangs. Chuck kissed Jack? And then I get another text. Several actually. They come in one right after the other.
~ This is Liv, by the way. I swiped Jack’s phone when I saw the text was from you.
~ You still need to tell me what happened between you and Sebastian the other day in your room. You were acting so weird.
~ OMG. Did he kiss you?
~ Did you kiss him back?
~ What about Evan?
~ Can I have Evan if you ditch him for Bas?
~ Just kidding… or am I?
~ I want details!
Sebastian stares at me and I tilt the screen of my phone so he can’t see the things Liv texts.
An eyebrow rises, a grin curving his lips. “Texting about me?”
“What? No.” My cheeks burn, completely contradicting my denial. His smile widens and I wish I could reach through the phone and strangle Liv. When I’m sure there won’t be any more incoming texts to further my embarrassment, I send a reply.
~ I’ll tell you everything later. I’m actually with Sebastian now. I got to go. I’ll explain when I get back.
~ Oh and get your mind out of the gutter. I hastily add since that’s typically where her mind gravitates.
~ My mind wasn’t in the gutter. But it is now. She replies with an added kissy face emoji.
I zip my phone up in the front pocket of my backpack intending to ignore anything else Liv cares to send. A fresh wave of heat scorches my cheeks when I catch Sebastian grinning at me. It’s like he knows I’m flustered and he’s the reason for it.
Could he… with his sixth sense thing? I shake my head. No. No. I’m sure it doesn’t work like that. Right? But maybe for just in case I should think about something else and not the not so assumed kiss, Liv alluded to that’s now replaying in my head.
Baseball. I’ll think about baseball.
I don’t know anything about baseball.
This is ridiculous. I’m driving myself nuts. I should just ask him. “You don’t know what people are thinking or feeling with your sixth sense thing, do you?”
“Nnnnnoooo.” He drags out the word intentionally. “It’s more of a supernatural radar than anything else. Why?” The glint in his eyes tells me he knows exactly why, or he at least has an idea of why. Which means he’s either lying, or I need to work on my poker face when it comes to being around him. My money is on the latter.
Gah, I don’t know what my problem is when I’m near him. It’s like I’m constantly suffering from emotional whiplash, swinging from one extreme to another. I’m either creeped out with the way he stares, terrified of the chaser part of him concluding I’m too dangerous and therefore in need of being put down or locked up, confused over the connection we share where I’d healed him, or suffering from random butterflies popping up whenever we’re near each other since the super hot spontaneous kiss we shared in my room. And sometimes it’s a combination of everything. Being around Sebastian is like playing with fire where one false move could leave me burned. It’s equal parts exciting and disorienting and I have no clue what to do about it.
“No reason, just curious,” I say feigning nonchalance. “We should go.” I wait for him to move since he’s blocking the front entrance doorway.
“After you.” He takes a teeny tiny step to the side, a mischievous grin playing at his mouth. His body fills the doorway, giving me barely any room to get by. Sure, I could use the other door beside him, but if I do, it would be like he’s won. I’d essentially be proving how easily he’s able to affect me. I square my shoulders, turn to the side, and squeeze by, determined to not give him the satisfaction of failing his little test.
There’s a gleam in his eyes as they follow me out the door. He’s clearly enjoying every moment of watching me pretend how every single nerve in my body isn’t acutely aware of how close he is.
Outside, I take a much-needed deep breath of fresh air to get my faculties back in order and on the task at hand. “Let’s do this.” Before I come to my senses, realize how bad of an idea this is, and hide under my bed forever instead.
“So, about all the stuff I told you in detention.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat as I fasten my seatbelt and wait for Sebastian to start the ignition. Clammy sweat forms on the palms of my hands. I wipe it off on the front of my jeans, but it comes back a few seconds later. “Liv thinks my super healing and compelling abilities might come from my dad.” I wipe my hands off again while peeking at him from the corner of my eye. “But I can’t keep from wondering if they don’t come from somewhere else.” Seth’s face pops in my head, his fangs descending and ready to sink into my flesh. “Some place… darker because I was bitten, and I died,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “Liv doesn’t think so, but as a chaser, do you think it’s possible I’m becoming…?” Too afraid to say it out loud I trail off, knowing he’ll understand what I’m saying.
My guts tie themselves in knots as I await his answer, and I can’t bring myself to look at him directly. Each passing moment of his silence has my heart creeping further and further into my throat. I hope he meant what he said when he promised I wouldn’t become one of the chased.
The
inside of the car is so quiet it makes my heartbeats sound like a jackhammer pounding against my ribs. I wonder if Sebastian can hear it as loudly as I do.
“No,” he finally answers as he puts the car in drive. “I don’t think you’re becoming a vampire. While it’s true, you did technically die for a few minutes and you did ingest vampire blood, you’re very much alive, which means you can’t be a vampire. Vampires are nothing more than animated corpses who long for the life they can no longer have. It’s why they thirst for blood. Blood is life and taking it from a human is the closest they can get to it. None of that describes you. As for the abilities part, I honestly don’t know.
“Could they derive from your angelic side? Possibly. The powers of a pure blood angel are infinite. They’re divine. So there’s definitely a good chance your abilities could have come from your father. They also could have easily come from your mother and just been amplified by your father.”
Sebastian looks over at me; his expression indicating there’s something more he’s not saying.
“And the third option.” No matter how bad it is—and I have a feeling it’s bad—I need to know.
“The third option is much more rare. I’ve only ever read about it in the tomes in the library at our main headquarters.” He pauses and I hold on to the side of the seat like a lifeline keeping me anchored. “There have been a few—very few—documented cases where a person has been bitten by a vampire, temporarily died, been resuscitated, and then developed certain traits. Healing. Compelling. Speed. Super hearing. Strength.” He pauses for several minutes before looking me straight in the eye. “Thirst.”
“Thirst?” I swallow hard. The thought of this terrifies me. So far the idea of drinking someone else’s blood is utterly disgusting, but what if at some point my views change? What if at some point I develop thirst? Bile crawls up my throat as I imagine attacking my friends and family with no regard for their lives.
Of Blood & Magic: Blood Descent Book 1 Page 17
