Love Child

by Philippa Carr

  Gregory gave a little laugh and murmured: “We’ll see.” He always found it hard to give Carlotta a direct refusal.

  We had come into the Mall and Harriet was again sighing for the days of Charles’s reign when he himself could often be seen here watched with admiration while he played the game which gave the thoroughfare its name.

  “You should have seen him,” said Harriet. “No one could drive a ball as he could. It would go halfway down the Mall, as I heard it said by an old soldier, ‘As though it were shot from a smoking culverin.’ One cannot imagine his present Majesty performing such a feat.”

  “It is no use sighing for the old days,” I said. “Let us be thankful that we have a King who appears to know how to govern.”

  “Even though he keeps the dullest Court in Europe.”

  “The parks are beautiful,” sighed Carlotta.

  “Yes,” said Gregory, “I always enjoyed the parks, and we have our share of them. I think the people would cause a riot if anyone attempted to take our parks from us. St. James’s is beautiful, as you say, and there are Hyde Park and Spring Gardens and Mulberry Gardens.”

  “But not to be entered after dark,” interposed Harriet. “Even though one was masked, one would be suspected of being there for a purpose—but enough of that.”

  Flower girls and orange girls threaded their way through the crowds, and there were milkmaids laden with their wares. Coaches passed us in which sat patched and powdered ladies; occasionally we saw a dandy pull down his window and chat with a lady in a passing coach.

  We had come into Town just after noon, which was the busiest time of the day. At two o’clock the streets would be quiet, for two o’clock was dinnertime for most people, and at four o’clock the streets would be full again with people making their way to the playhouses.

  Carlotta had difficulty in keeping her eyes from the displays of ribbons and laces and fine garments which were displayed on the stalls and in the booths. Harriet promised her that they would do a great deal of shopping during the visit.

  We reached our house where everything had been made ready for our coming. Dinner was served and Carlotta immediately wanted to go out. I reminded her that it would soon be dark and I thought that we should wait until morning. She was disappointed, and after dinner went to a window and sat there looking out on the Town.

  The following day we went shopping in the New Exchange in the Strand. This was almost like a bazaar, with an upper gallery full of stalls displaying the most exciting merchandise. Carlotta cried out with delight as she examined the silks, ribbons and laces; and we bought material for new gowns.

  Ladies, some of whom I was sure were of questionable virtue, sauntered through the Exchange. They glanced from right to left and were clearly looking for interested gallants. Some of these were very glorious to behold in their velvet cloaks, silken breeches and feathered hats, and very often they carried Toledo swords at their sides. Many of them were followed by their pages and looked very grand indeed. I saw many glance Carlotta’s way and I was glad that she was too interested in what she was buying to notice them.

  We had come to a booth where fans were on display. We paused, for Carlotta wanted to buy a fan. There was one she found which was very beautiful and decorated with brilliants. She opened it and began to fan herself.

  “I must have it,” she said. “It is lovely. It will match the new silk I have bought.”

  Then I found myself turning quite cold, as though someone had thrown a bucket of icy water over me. Standing at the next stall was a man whose face I should never forget if I lived to be a hundred. It was a face which still came to me in my dreams and filled me with terror.

  Beaumont Granville was buying cravats at the next stall.

  “What do you think of it?” I heard Carlotta’s voice from a long way off. Time seemed to have stood still and everything was happening very slowly, for Beaumont Granville had turned at the sound of Carlotta’s voice and he had seen me.

  I saw the smile of recognition turn up the corners of his mouth. I saw his gaze go from Harriet to Carlotta and rest on her fleetingly. She was holding the fan up to her lips and gazing at me over the top of it.

  I was saying: “I want to go home. I feel … er …”

  I was aware of them all looking at me. Harriet’s deep blue eyes curious, Carlotta’s anxious.

  I turned sharply. I had to get away from that amused stare, from those eyes which would always be for me the most cruel in the world.

  I caught my foot in the cobblestones and I should have fallen if Harriet had not caught me. A sharp pain shot through my ankle.

  “What happened?” asked Harriet.

  I did not answer. I stooped and touched my ankle.

  Then I heard his voice, which I remembered so well-musical, gentle, beguiling, and I felt as if I were in one of those nightmares which had afflicted me since that night I had spent in his odious company. “If I can be of any assistance …”

  He was bowing to Harriet, to Carlotta, to me.

  I said very quickly: “Thank you. Everything is all right.”

  “How kind of you!” Harriet’s voice was extremely courteous. I had realized that he was still as handsome as ever. Harriet always changed subtly at the advent of a man, of whatever age, however unattractive. It was Harriet’s way.

  “I am perfectly all right,” I insisted hastily.

  “You’ve hurt your ankle,” said Carlotta.

  “It’s nothing … absolutely nothing. I can feel nothing …”

  “I have a friendly apothecary close by,” said Beaumont Granville. “He would look at it and verify that you had not injured it. For if you have a broken bone it would be dangerous to walk on it.”

  “I feel nothing at all.”

  “You have gone very pale,” said Carlotta. “Hasn’t she?”

  Her lovely face betrayed her anxiety. I was too worried to think clearly. I reminded myself that at all costs I must not show agitation, but how could I be calm when I feared him so much?

  “You must allow me to help,” he went on. “My apothecary friend is here in the Exchange.” He had taken a parcel from Harriet. “Allow me.” He laid a hand on my arm and his eyes looked mockingly into mine. “I really think you should see this man. A bandage may be necessary even if it is only a strain.”

  “You are very kind, sir,” said Carlotta.

  “I am delighted to be at your service.”

  “It would be churlish to refuse such kindness,” added Harriet.

  “Yes, Priscilla,” said Carlotta, “you must see this apothecary. It hurts. I can see that.”

  “Then,” added Beaumont Granville, “the matter is settled. May I lead the way?”

  I was limping badly. I had twisted my ankle but I was unaware of the pain. I could only ask myself what cruel trick of fate this was which had brought him back into my life.

  I did not trust him for one moment. I wanted to tell him to go, to explain to them that I knew from experience that this man was no fit company for decent people.

  Carlotta had slipped her arm through mine.

  “Does it hurt, Priscilla?”

  “No, no. This is nonsense. I’d like to go home without delay.”

  Beaumont Granville was standing on the other side of me.

  “Would you care to take my arm, to lean on me?” he asked solicitously.

  “It is not necessary, thank you.”

  “Well, it is only a few steps,” he said and led the way.

  There was a smell of scents and unguents in the apothecary’s shop. We took a step down into the dark exterior and a man in a yellow coat came hurrying to meet us. He bowed low when he saw Beaumont Granville and was prepared to be extremely subservient. It was clear that he was a most respected customer.

  “My lord,” he asked, “what can I do for you?”

  Beaumont Granville explained that I had hurt my ankle and he wanted the apothecary to look at it and see what damage had been done and perhaps supply an u
nguent and a bandage or whatever was necessary.

  He would indeed. He looked round and found a stool on which I was immediately seated. He then knelt and probed my ankle. I caught my breath with pain.

  He looked up at Beaumont Granville who was watching me intently.

  “No bones broken,” he said. “Just a little twist … nothing that cannot be cured quickly.”

  “Have you something to put on it?” asked Harriet.

  “The very thing. I’ll bind it up and then the lady should rest for a day or so … and all will be well.”

  “Then get to it,” said Beaumont Granville. He turned to Harriet. “You ladies were shopping. Why do we not leave our patient here to be bandaged while we continue with what we have to do? We can return when she is ready to leave. Have you a coach? She should not walk.”

  “We could return home and bring it,” Harriet explained. “As we were shopping and we are but near Whitehall, we came on foot.”

  “She must not walk far. Leave it to me. I will take you back in my carriage.”

  “You are too good to us, sir,” cried Harriet.

  “It is my pleasure to serve you,” he answered.

  “It seems a good idea, Priscilla,” said Harriet.

  I did not answer. I felt sick with anxiety.

  The apothecary was shaking something in a bottle. I was thinking: Granville can do no harm yet. But what does it mean? What can it mean?

  “Then we shall see you later,” said Harriet.

  “Say half an hour?” suggested Granville.

  The apothecary agreed that I should be ready to leave by that time.

  “It seems the best thing,” said Carlotta. “And then we must get you home.”

  I watched them leave. At the door he turned and looked back at me. I could not guess what was in his mind, but I was deeply conscious of that mocking amusement.

  I was nauseated by the scents of the shop. I sat on the stool and removed my stocking. My ankle was very swollen.

  The apothecary knelt at my feet and put something cooling on the afflicted part. It soothed my ankle but nothing could soothe my mind.

  What could it mean? Why had I hurt my ankle just at that moment? I had turned clumsily because the sight of him had made me numb with horror.

  Well, he would take us home in his carriage. I should have protested about that. He would be invited in and given wine or some refreshment. Harriet was impressed by him. I could see that.

  I must remind her who he was. Perhaps she would remember when she heard his name. There had been a great deal of talk about the thrashing Leigh had given him in Venice. But that was fifteen years ago. I would remind her as soon as possible that he was a man whose acquaintance we should do without.

  The apothecary was talking about his unguents and lotions. He was trying to sell me some of his aids to beauty. There was a face wash he had which could make a lady’s skin look like a child’s. There were lotions to disguise grey hairs. There were exquisite scents to please the gentlemen. His shop was a magic cave of delights.

  I lay back and closed my eyes. My thoughts were far from the apothecary’s shop.

  In half an hour they returned. Carlotta was very excited. They had been taken to the most wonderful shops. Their kind friend knew all the best shops in the Exchange and he had made sure that they got the best bargains.

  “Are you feeling well enough to walk?” His voice was tender though his eyes still mocked.

  “I should like to go home,” I answered.

  “My carriage is here. All you have to do is to get out of the shop.”

  “First,” I reminded him, “we must settle our account with the apothecary, who has been so good.”

  He waved his hand. “I have a standing account with him. This shall be my affair.”

  “I shall not hear of it,” I replied.

  “Oh, come, come, such a small matter.”

  “Pray tell me your charge,” I said to the apothecary.

  “I forbid it,” commanded Granville.

  The apothecary looked at me and lifted his shoulders.

  “I cannot and will not allow this,” I said firmly.

  “So you would deprive me of this pleasure?”

  I took some money from my purse and laid it on the counter. The apothecary looked at it helplessly. I could see he was very much in awe of Beaumont Granville.

  “You will at least allow me to give you the comfort of my carriage.”

  “There is no need,” I replied. “We could wait here for our own.”

  “What has come over you?” said Harriet, laughing. “It is ungracious of you to refuse such kindness so graciously given.”

  He helped me into his carriage. We sat facing each other—Harriet beside him, Carlotta beside me.

  Carlotta cried: “What an adventure! How is your ankle feeling, Priscilla?”

  “Much better, thank you.”

  “It was such an exciting morning. First all those lovely silks and now this. … Oh, I did not get the fan. I forgot all about it.”

  “Never mind,” said Harriet, “you have had a very interesting morning. But what of poor Priscilla? My dear, I hope it is not painful.”

  I said it felt better after the apothecary’s attentions.

  “I’m sorry,” cried Carlotta instantly, “I didn’t mean it was fun that you hurt yourself.”

  “I understand,” I told her and she gave me her lovely, dazzling smile.

  We had reached the house and Beaumont Granville had leaped down to help us out.

  “You must come in and drink a glass of wine with us,” said Harriet.

  He hesitated and looked at me. I said nothing.

  “Yes, please,” cried Carlotta. “You must come.”

  He turned his gaze on her. “Are you sure I am not encroaching?”

  “Encroaching! After all you have done. We are very much in your debt.”

  And so Beaumont Granville came back into my life and the nightmare began.

  I said to Harriet, “You know who this man is. He is Beaumont Granville.”

  “Yes, that is his name.”

  “Have you forgotten Venice?”

  She wrinkled her brows.

  “Don’t you remember? He tried to take me away from the ball and Leigh went to his apartments the next day and nearly killed him.”

  Remembrance came back to her. She burst out laughing.

  “It was nothing to laugh at, Harriet. It was a very serious matter.”

  “It must be fifteen years since it happened.”

  “It is something that will never be forgotten.”

  “My dear Priscilla, you are behind the times. Men fight duels one day and forget it in a week or so. It was a bit of high spirits on his part.”

  “He almost succeeded in taking me away. If he had …”

  “But Leigh was there. That was so romantic. Leigh saved you and then went round and there was trouble. Yes, I do remember it well. All Venice was talking about it.”

  “I don’t want to know him.”

  “So that’s why you were so cold … and really quite discourteous, I thought. After all, he was offering to help.”

  “Harriet, I don’t like the man. I don’t want him in this house.”

  “We had to ask him in after what he did.”

  “Well, let’s hope that this is the end of it and we don’t have to see him again.”

  “He seemed so eager to please, and you must admit he did help with the apothecary.”

  “We could have managed without him.”

  “Oh, Priscilla, you really are holding this prank against him, are you not?”

  I wanted to shout at her: If you knew everything you would understand.

  I almost told her, yet I could not bring myself to speak of it. If she knew she would readily understand why I never wanted to see him again.

  Carlotta burst in on us. She was carrying the fan she had seen on the Exchange stall and waving it before our eyes.

  “You hav
e been out to get it,” I cried. “Oh, Carlotta, you must not go out alone.”

  She shook her head. “Three guesses. Now how did I come by this beautiful fan?”

  “Gregory went out and bought it for you,” said Harriet. “That man spoils you.”

  “Wrong,” she retorted. “Try again. Not Gregory but …”

  She was flourishing a note in her hand. Harriet snatched it from her.

  She read:

  I did not like to think of your losing the fan, so I crept back and bought it. Do please accept it. B.G.

  I wanted to shout at them both. I wanted to say: It must be sent back. We want nothing from this man, not even a trifle such as this.

  “A charming gesture,” said Harriet.

  “It was so thoughtful of him,” added Carlotta.

  “I think he is a very charming man,” added Harriet, almost defiantly.

  I was filled with foreboding.

  The Elopement

  FOR THE NEXT FEW days I could not go out. On the morning following our visit to the Exchange my ankle was very swollen and Gregory said I should see a doctor. He called one in and the verdict was the same as that of the apothecary. I must rest it and in a few days I should be able to walk on it.

  I felt frustrated. Fervently I wished that we had not come to London. Gregory and Harriet took Carlotta to Mulberry Gardens one afternoon so that she should not be disappointed. They took her to Spring Gardens one evening where they supped. Carlotta came in to tell me all about it, her eyes sparkling with the wonder of it all. They had walked through the gardens where they had eaten a collation of fish and venison pie followed by tarts and syllabub; and with it they had drunk a fine muscatel wine.

  They had watched the masked ladies parading through the paths and the gallants who had pursued them. Harriet had declared that it was nothing compared with what it had been in the days of Charles when people knew better how to enjoy life. But they had seen some of the players from the theatre walking there, and Carlotta had enjoyed it greatly.

  I would wait breathlessly for some mention of Beaumont Granville, for I had a notion that he would not allow the acquaintance to peter out. I was sure that he was bent on some mischief, and those days when I lay on my bed resting my foot, or sat at the window watching people pass by, were for me filled with frustration and fear.