Sunday mornings were usually filled with the anticipation of attending church where Ryan Mason presided as pastor of the newly built church. It had only been a couple of Sundays, but they'd already formed an enjoyable routine. Mae looked forward to seeing Patty and after service spending the afternoon at their house sharing a meal. But today Mae was forced to remain behind when Alan took Miss Lady, Elma and Lucinda to church.
Although disappointed, Mae could not go and risk taking Wesley out. He'd waken sneezing and slightly fevered, so she'd stay home. Holding the child on her lap, she looked out the front room's window and watched Alan leave with Miss Lady, Lucinda and Elma toward town.
"Mama, I sick," Wesley sniffed and rubbed his hand under his nose. Mae grabbed a cloth and wiped his face and hand.
"Yes baby, you are." She kissed his forehead relieved it was now cooled.
She carried him to his bedroom and placed him in bed. He promptly snuggled into the blankets and put his thumb in his mouth. Within minutes his eyes closed and his mouth went slack in slumber.
Mae sighed. A day alone to look forward to, she went to find her needlepoint, she'd remain inside in case Wesley needed her. Who would have thought she'd find the new hobby pleasant.
Her life was so drastically different now. Finding she enjoyed needlepoint and reading, she'd set up a place near the window in the front room where she could sew or read in the sunlight while watching Wesley pay outside and keep an eye towards the kitchen.
With her sewing basket in hand, Mae settled into the chair and pulled a throw over her lap. She picked out her current work and studied it. The design depicted a horseman looking down at a woman carrying a basket. A pang jolted her at not realizing until now the scene familiarity of her first meeting with John. She pulled the needle from the fabric and began to stitch, filling the woman's dress with a pale blue thread. If she kept at it, the project would be completed today.
Mae's head snapped up at hearing a whimper from the back room. She must have nodded off while sewing and was disoriented as to the time. Another cry sounded, and she jumped to her feet allowing the sewing to fall to the floor.
Wesley.
When she rushed into the room, she found Wesley crying and clutching at his blanket, sitting up in the center of the bed. Immediately, she climbed on the bed and pulled him into her arms. "What's the matter Honey?' She kissed his damp forehead. It was a bad dream, he was fine.
Without a word the small child snuggled into her chest, his fingers wrapping around the fabric of her sleeve. He sighed and looked up at her. "I scared."
She forced a smile and hugged him closer. "I am too baby."
The sounds of Miss Lady, Lucinda and Elma returning brought a realization she'd not done anything while they were gone. Good thing they probably ate at Patty's house so she did not have to worry about the lack of dinner.
A deeper voice sounded from the front room. A male had entered the house with them. Mae wondered until hearing him speak again. Maybe it was Joshua, no doubt coming to see her and take her for a walk as they'd done the last few days. She took one of Wesley's hands and pulled him to leave the bed. "Come on sweet. Let's get you something to eat."
As soon as they entered the kitchen, she could tell something was wrong. Lucy was bent over Miss Lady holding a wet cloth to her face while Elma and Alan looked on with worried expressions.
"What happened?" Mae rushed to Miss Lady and reached for her hand. "What is wrong Miss Lady?"
Miss Lady waved her away with both hands. "I'm fine. Lucinda is overreacting as usual." She pushed her daughter's hand from her face and frowned. "If you continue to crowd me, I may pass out again."
"Pass out!" Mae looked to Alan and Elma. "Will someone tell me what happened?"
Elma answered. "Miss Lady passed out and fell while we were on the wagon. She was out for quite a while."
"Oh God," Her eyes flew to look over Miss Lady's figure and now noted the tear in her skirts and scratches along the old woman's arm.
She crouched next to Miss Lady who huffed with indignation. "Has this happened before to you?" Her eyes went to Lucinda who met her gaze head on without replying. Lucinda's lack of reply told her more than words could have.
Alan cleared his throat. "I better get going. Got to get the horses seen to. Call me if you need anything."
"Thank you," Mae replied grateful for him being there, if for any reason she did need him.
"Help me to my room," Miss Lady told no one in particular. "I'm going to lay down for a bit."
Lucinda's gaze held to her mother, but she did not move forward instead she allowed Mae to walk Miss Lady to her room. The fact the woman actually leaned into her hand worried Mae. Something was definitely wrong.
Miss Lady pushed her away once inside the bedroom. "Go on child. I'll get myself to bed and lay down for a bit. I'll be good as new by morning." She shuffled to the bed and removed her cloak folding it neatly before placing it on the foot of the bed.
"Tell me what's wrong," Mae asked not liking the quiver of fear in her belly. "I think you are sick. We should fetch the doctor." She reached for the doorjamb and wrapped her hand around it to hold her upright when a quiver of nerves in her limbs shook her.
When Miss Lady took a long time, her head bent and then finally lifted up to meet her gaze, a soft lift to her lips made Mae felt better, but then the older woman beckoned her. "Come sit down here with me."
After releasing a breath, Mae went to the bed and sat next to the closest thing to a mother she'd ever known and immediately took her hands in hers. "Please tell me you are fine and you will be all right." She pleaded, this time her voice hitched.
"I'm doing as well as can be expected for someone my age girl. Stop looking so scared." Miss Lady lifted her hand and cupped Mae's cheek. "You're a woman now, grew up to be beautiful one too. Both inside and out."
Mae leaned to the woman's touch her eyes welling up. "Tell me."
Miss Lady huffed. "Young folk always make a big thing out of what is natural. What happens to me is part of life dear." She shook her head and looked toward the window. "And a human life is like any day, the sun rises and eventually it falls."
A shaky breath left her, and Mae pressed her lips together to keep them from quivering. She wanted to ask more questions, but afraid she'd upset the older woman, instead Mae only nodded.
"I've lived longer than my sisters and brother," Miss Lady told her. "It's going to be alright. I'm an old woman Mae, just past my sixty-fifth birthday. I had Lucinda so late." Miss Lady chuckled. "Can't say who was more surprised at it, me or her father." Her eyes sparkled at the memory. "At least he got to know her before dyin'."
Mae listened to the story she knew well. Lucinda's father was a Cavalryman who’d been killed when she was but five years old. "What are you not telling me Miss Lady?"
"I'm dying Mae. One of the reasons I came here was because I want to spend these days with both of you girls. The two halves of my heart. Now, now..." Miss Lady's hand smoothed Mae's hair away from her face when she gasped. "You stay calm now Maebelle Hawkins. It's gonna be all right."
"I can't believe you're comforting me. I should be the one taking care of you, ensuring you are well and not in pain." Mae jumped to her feet. "I'm sending Alan to get the doctor." She pushed Miss Lady to lie down onto the bed. "Rest. Can I get you some tea?"
Just as she reached the door a chuckle stopped her, and she swirled to face the woman who was now laughing, her eyes twinkling. "I would prefer just to take a nap. Go on girl, go see about whatever you were doing before we got home and please do not fetch a doctor, he cain't help me right now. I'm feelin' fine."
Numb Mae stumbled out of the room only to lean on the wall in the hallway as the tears began to slide down her face. The kitchen was dark when she finally made it past the hallway, the moonlight from the window giving the room a shadowy appearance. Her eyes landed on the cloaks hanging on the hooks on the sidewall. Her hand trembled when she lifted one off the hook and sli
pped it over her shoulders. The darkness beckoned and she opened the door and stepped outside.
A lightening bolt lit the night, and she let out a loud sob. Breaking into a run, she headed to the barn and a few minutes later, on her horse she galloped away.
A pounding sound startled John awake. Apparently he'd fallen asleep at the table. He rubbed his eyes and blinked only to jump to his feet when another sound, closer to a thump sounded at the front door. He got to his feet and leaned his ear to the door.
"John?" Mae called from the other side and he yanked the door open. A soaking wet figure fell into the room, and he grabbed her before she fell.
"Is there something wrong with Wesley?"
She shook her head and wiped without much result at the wetness on her face. "No, he's fine." Her voice shook and she began to sob.
He lifted her face to him and inspected it for any signs of injury. "What are you doing outside alone in this rainstorm?" He pulled her toward the hallway. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes." John guided her toward his bedroom. "You can find a clean shirt in there." He pointed to a wooden truck at the foot of his bed. When she slumped against him shivering, he realized she would not be able to do it on her own.
He began to peel her clothes away and then grabbed a clean cloth and began to rub her dry with quick movements the entire time straining to ignore the soft plush tantalizing curves. After he'd helped her into a clean shirt, he settled her onto a chair back in the front room and then wrapped a blanket around her. Once he was assured she was settled, he went to see about her horse.
She remained in the same place when he returned. The fire in the hearth warmed the room perfectly and his eyes were drawn to the beauty sitting wrapped in his blanket without moving, her eyes trained on the fire. He placed a pot of water to heat on the stove and then returned to her.
"What happened tonight?" John asked after sitting down next to her.
She didn't turn toward him, instead kept her eyes on the hearth. "I am returning to Virginia."
His gut clenched at her words. "What about the ranch? I thought you planned to stay on there."
"It doesn't make any sense to stay here any longer. It's no use. I'm no use to anyone." She began to cry again and when he attempted to put his arm around her but she jerked away. "I don't want your pity John. It's clear to me now. I have to stick to reality and accept I'm not meant to be happy but to live out my life at the house in Virginia. This is my reality." She waved her hand in the air and let it fall onto the blanket slumping forward.
John did not to reach for her although he ached to do so. "Something happened didn't it?"
Mae nodded, swiping tears away with the back of her hand. When she remained silent, he got up to make them coffee. When he returned with two cups and gave her one, she took a sip and began to talk again.
"Miss Lady is dying." Mae sagged and took a deep breath. "What am I to do? I can't stand it any more John." Her eyes met his and a soft smile lifted her lips. "Every person I care about is torn from me. First my parents, you, Wesley, and now Miss Lady are leaving me. I can't do this any longer. I'm finished. I give up."
Shoulders rounded, she heaved a heavy sigh and stared at a spot on the floor. When he reached for her, this time she allowed him to wrap his arms around her.
"Wesley and I are here. We're not going away." His voice was gruff at seeing the proud woman so devastated. "I'm here Mae."
"Are you really here for me John? I don't think that is true."
When she lifted her face to him, she was offering herself to him fully and he took her mouth with desperate hunger.
Her arms slipped from under the covers, and she grabbed onto him as if he were her only hope. Mae clung to him, her lips responding to his kiss with an ardor different from any time before.
Her taste stealing any resolve, John picked her up and carried her back to his bedroom, the entire time their lips fused, probing, tasting, and taking.
They fell into the bed together and he into her softness. John reveled in the lush curves against his much sturdier body and the world became lost in the heat and emotion swirling around them like smoke, enveloping them in a vice so tight, turning back became impossible.
Mae welcomed him into her body, every touch, caress and response like the clashing of their souls. The knowledge that what existed between them was unique struck him. He would never care for someone on such a deep level. He could never love someone more than the woman there with him now.
Free of clothing, John held her against him as they became one, the feel of her undoing him to the point his eyes were squeezed shut to keep from crying out and to keep from begging her not to ever leave him. He considered divulging in detail how he felt about her. No longer could he hide the fact from himself. He loved Mae and could not fathom a future without her. She moved beneath him and the climb ensued, both seeking the highest point from which to fall and crash into the waves only to drown tangled the each other's arms.
Mae cried out his name, and John held her until her shuddering stopped and while she began to float back to him. Yet he climbed still, not sure he'd survive the fall. Finally he recognized the hoarse call as his own as he fell over the cliff and into her arms.
"I must go. They'll be worried." Mae was dressed in what looked like still soggy clothes and looking down at him when John opened his eyes.
Her eyes lingered on him and then followed the descent of the blankets when they slipped to his waist as he sat up. There was no mistaking the heat in her eyes, and John smiled at her. "Good morning."
For a moment she waivered and finally her lips tugged up to a reluctant smile. "Good morning John."
"Stay. I can send someone to tell them you are here. Your clothes look to be still damp."
Smile gone, she looked toward the doorway. "It's already going to be difficult enough to forget you. I must go and hopefully arrive before my absence is noted. I have to talk to Miss Lady and find out if she wishes to go back to Virginia for..." Her eyes darted back to him and he nodded understanding what she spoke of.
"I'll come with you. I'd like to see my son. Perhaps then go on to town and see about something."
Mae hesitated and neared the bed. "I shouldn't have come last night. But I am not sorry about what happened between us." With a brow lifted she seemed to expect a challenge from him.
"Nor am I," John replied and slid to the edge of the bed. He held out his hand and when she took it, he pulled her back to the bed. "Neither am I sorry for what is about to happen now."
They arrived back to the ranch and upon entering the kitchen they were greeted by an array of different reactions. Elma avoided eye contact and busied herself pouring water into the coffeepot.
From the table Joshua glared at John and shifted his gaze to her, his mouth in a tight line.
Oblivious to the tension in the room, Wesley climbed from his chair and ran to John wrapping his short arms around the bottom of his legs. John lifted the boy and hugged him before directing him to sit again and finish his breakfast.
On his feet, Alan cleared his throat finding a sudden interest in the wooden flooring and grunted something about going back to work.
After touching the brim of his hat, Joshua left the house and headed outside.
Elma looked to them and began to pour two cups of coffee. "We wondered where'd you were, and I called Joshua to ask him to go search for you." She placed the cups on the table. "I didn't say anything to Miss Lady, did not want to worry her."
"You're right Elma. I'm sorry to have worried you," Mae looked over her shoulder to a departing Joshua. "I should have left a note."
John reached for her shoulder. "I'll go talk to him."
"Thank you," Mae replied, "But there is nothing that can be said. Soon enough we'll have to discuss my returning to Virginia."
"What are you talking about girl?" Miss Lady stood at the doorway. "Mae, what nonsense are you thinking about doing now?" John froze at Miss Lady's tone and looked to both women.<
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Lucinda, ever present at her mother's side, looked around the room perplexed, excused herself and went past them to follow after Alan.
Miss Lady sat down, and Elma placed a teakettle on the stove turning her back to them.
"I planned to talk to you and discuss your plans Miss Lady," Mae told her and sat next to her. "We can go back to Virginia together. You like it there don't you?"
"What do you think Captain McClain?" Miss Lady looked to John whose eyes shifted to her before replying.
"I think Mae should remain here."
Mae balked and stood. "It's my life, and I have decided it's best if I leave. I need to see about my horse. She stormed outside only to stop on the back porch not ready to face Joshua. Truth be told, the thought of returning to Virginia saddened her deeply and the fact surprised her. But she knew remaining in Texas meant a broken heart upon seeing John marry another and Wesley accepting the woman as his mother. She could not marry Joshua, would never love anyone else. Her heart could not withstand it. She'd rather be away and keep the memories of their time together.
Shaken, she walked around the side of the house. The sun was still low. Its rays filtered through the branches of the trees surrounding the house giving the land around them a peaceful glow. Mae moved toward the oasis, refusing to think of anything for the next moments but instead reveling on the beauty of the day, the birdsong from the tree's branches and the soft rustling of the grass under her feet.
Mae looked up past the branches toward the sky. "Why have you forgotten me?"
John caught up with Joshua who'd made it as far as the fence and waited for him when he called.
The man did not look at him with scorn or anger, more resigned than anything. "You planning to marry her? Because if you don't I'll be forced to hit you and I like you McClain. But Mae, she deserves to be cared for."
"I care for Mae. And I will marry her if she will have me." John was surprised at his own answer, but he meant each word. He felt lighter. He was finally going to allow her the opportunity to choose whether or not she'd accept him as her husband.
Westbound Awakening Page 17
