I don’t know whether to feel excited or disappointed by his revelation.
He slowly stalks towards me, stopping in front of me, as he looks straight down at me, as if waiting for my reaction. I could only stare back at him. My thoughts lost in his eyes as they keep me hypnotized in place. He takes my face into his hands as he leans forward, this time when our mouths meet I can feel his tongue pushing against my lips, demanding I open up for him. I part my lips, obeying his command.
The glass in my hand drops to the floor. The floor lightly vibrates with the thump of the glass echoing throughout the silent room. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he deepens the kiss, pulling his body closer to mine. His tongue explores my mouth as my body ignites from excitement. I can already feel a heat pooling in between my thighs.
I feel my body being lifted off the ground. Joseph’s strong hands grip my sides. My legs dangle off the ground as he walks our bodies backwards. We’re soon at the couch and I feel my body being lowered down onto it. He pushes his body down to follow mine; our mouths still fused together.
His body is still slightly extended above mine, as if he’s fearful he’d crush me, but I want him closer. I want to feel his body against mine. I pull at his shirt, demanding he come down on me. He complies and his body meets mine. His hand starts exploring my body, finding it’s way into my shirt, his palms electrifying every inch of my skin with his touch. The warmth of his hand is slowly gliding up my stomach, to reach for my breast as he starts kneading it, making me moan into his mouth. His touches feel so much more intense this time. I had forgotten how much I love his touch.
Wanting to feel his skin next to mine, I start tugging at his shirt, wanting it off. He breaks our kiss just long enough to allow me to remove his shirt. Mine comes off next and his mouth immediately comes back down to mine.
His lips slowly kiss their way down my neck. The heat of his mouth awakens my desire for him, as it grazes its way down to my breast, before he takes my nipple into his mouth, vigorously sucking it. My back arches towards him, wanting to give him more. He moves onto my other breast, giving it the same attention; my moans sound more like a whimper from the pleasurable torture. My hands are holding him in place, refusing to allow him to stop. The feel of his touch is so intense I’m praying he doesn’t stop.
His hand reaches for the waistband of my pajama pants. Lifting my hips to allow him to pull them down, along with my underwear, I help him push them off. I don’t know what has come over me, but I don’t want him to stop.
With his eyes locked onto mine as he stares down at me, he suddenly stops, lifting himself from my body. I whimper from the loss of his body above mine, thinking he’s regretted what we’re doing. “I’ll be right back,” he whispers as he places a quick kiss on my lips to walk away.
I’m lying on the couch, confused, as I watch him disappear into the bedroom, but he quickly returns, stopping to stand to the side of me. With the glow of the light from the patio window I see him remove his sweatpants and climb back down above me. His mouth finds mine, as it demands another kiss.
I can feel his hard erection pushing up against my thigh, tantalizing me, before he stops kissing me completely to pull himself away. Every time he pulls away it leaves me frustrated, making me want to scream for him to quit torturing me. But I soon understand when I see him put something up to his mouth, hearing the tearing of a packet. It dawns on me that he disappeared to get a condom. I watch with mesmerized eyes as he rolls it down his hardened shaft, leaving me desperate to touch it myself.
His hands slowly glide up my legs, igniting the fire within me as I let them fall open, allowing him to bring his body down between my thighs. His fingers find the heat of me, rubbing on my clit, intensifying the bliss building within me. His finger finds it’s way inside of me, making me moan as I push my hips up to grind against his hand. I’m lost in the sensation, but it’s quickly lost when he removes his finger to bring himself down to me, his hips finding mine. His hand reaches under my ass to lift me up, as I feel him slowly entering me. I gasp as inch by inch he stretches me.
Closing my eyes as he continues to push his way in me, my earlier moan is replaced with a soft cry of pain. It’s when he fully inside of me that he stops, frozen in place above me. “Kasey, baby, are you alright?” he whispers into my ear.
I can’t answer him. The feeling of being completely stretched is distracting me from his words. He places a kiss below my ear, continuing his way down my neck before I hear him ask, “Do you want me to stop?”
His deep husky voice, along with the touch of his hand as it glides up and down my hip to caress me, makes the pain disappear. I try moving my hips, testing how I feel, but I hear Joseph groan, feeling him grow larger inside of me, reminding me that we’re still connected.
Slowly, he starts to pump his hips, making me grab onto his shoulders to hold him closer as he increases his thrust, his hand gripping my ass while he glides back and forth inside of me. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I meet him thrust for thrust. His mouth finding it’s way back to my breast, the sensation of his mouth along with him moving in me makes me moan louder. His lips leave my nipple, coming down onto my mouth, muffling my frantic moans.
My body tenses up. The electrifying wave of pleasure builds through me with each thrust. Suddenly I feel my body strung tight, but just as quickly I explode, crying out in pleasure as Joseph continues to thrust inside of me. I feel as if a hundred firecrackers have been ignited inside of my body. If it wasn’t for Joseph’s mouth covering my screams, I know I would’ve woken Josephina.
His body quickens its pumping as I feel him let out a loud groan into our mouths, his body stiffening seconds later. As his pumping comes to a slow stop, I feel his body relax above mine. Our breathing is labored as he pulls his mouth from mine, my heart rapidly racing inside my chest. Bringing his hand up to wipe my hair away from my eyes, I can see his dark eyes staring down at me, a worried expression staring back at me. Reaching up, I kiss him softly on the mouth, feeling him smile on my lips.
His lips slowly trail down my chin, over to my ear as I hear him whisper, “You okay?” The warmth of his breath sends another shiver down my body.
I can’t even speak, still out of breath, so I simply nod as I rub my hands up and down his sweaty back. I love how he feels against my body, but the feeling is instantly taken away when he pulls out of me to climb up and off of me. Disappointed, I watch him disappear into the bedroom, hearing the bathroom door shut soon after. Laying there, still trying to catch my breath, my mind dwells over what just happened. Before I have time to regret our actions, I hear Joseph exit the bathroom, making my body freeze up. I don’t know whether I should go back into the bedroom with Josephina or stay on the couch with him.
He walks back into the living room, his large body a shadow in the darkened room, as he makes his way back over to me on the couch, lying down next to me.
Thinking he’d probably prefer for me to leave, I try to stand up, but he pulls my body down on top of him, wrapping his large arms around my waist as he entwines our legs. I don’t argue, but instead make myself more comfortable, laying my head on his chest, listening to the strong thumps of his heart beating into my ear. My body is completely sated from making love, relaxing without protest as I feel his hand begin to rub my back sending me drifting off into sleep.
KASEY SHIFTS IN my arms, the small stirring of her body awakening me. It’s happened several times already, as if her body is restless, or she’s uncomfortable. I know my couch isn’t the largest. She’s draped across the top of my body making it a tight fit, but a pleasurable one. Tightening the hold I have on her, I place a kiss on her head to comfort her; fearful she’ll awaken and want to go back to the bed. It’s the last thing I want her to do. I don’t want to ever let her go. I need to hold her within my arms. She feels so good in them.
My mind wanders back to the first night I spent with her, trying to remember if she moved this much. I don’t remember her doing so,
but then again, we were both too sated to stay awake. I’m surprised I even woke up the next morning to leave.
Reaching down to the floor, I pick up my cellphone, checking for the time. It’s only two a.m. It’s been a little over an hour since she fell asleep, yet she’s awaken me three times. Closing my eyes I try to fall asleep again. My body is still exhausted from the last couple of weeks. Sleep has eluded me as I stressed about Josephina and Kasey, but now having Kasey next to me, I can finally relax.
Suddenly I hear rattling at the door, soon after, the sound of something being inserted into the doorknob. My only reaction is to get up, dragging Kasey’s body up with me as I hear her gasp in surprise. Without thinking, I toss her back onto the couch, rushing to the intruder coming through the door. I’m not expecting anyone, so I’m instantly on high alert, ready to attack whoever is walking through that door.
The door opens; the light from outside the door illuminating a shadowed body, of whom I still can’t make out, as it walks in the door. Not caring who it is, I grab for the person bringing them into a chokehold, the instinct of protecting my family taking over as I shove them against the door. Their body slamming the door shut.
A frightened gasp escapes the intruder’s mouth as they struggle to speak. “Joseph, what the hell is wrong with you?” I hear Elizabeth choke out, frantically trying to pull my hand from her neck.
“Elizabeth?” My body freezes on the spot from the shock of hearing her unexpected voice, surprising me. What the hell is she doing here?
The kitchen light turns on. The brightness practically blinding me as my eyes try to adjust to the light. Turning to see who’s turned it on, I see Kasey standing in the kitchen wrapped in the small blanket I used to cover us. Her eyes are wide open, looking stunned as she stares back at Elizabeth and me, her mouth gaping.
Hearing Elizabeth quietly groan as she digs her nails into my wrist, my eyes avert back to her, and instead of shock, they are fuming with anger. Letting her go, she catches her breath, her eyes glaring daggers at me. “Who the hell is she?” she growls, her eyes finding Kasey, who is turning a bright shade of red all over her pale body, as she tightly clutches the blanket. “And, what the fuck are you both doing naked?” Elizabeth blurts out.
Looking down at my body I realize she’s right, I am still naked. I’d forgotten, but that was the least of my concerns when she’d walked in the door. Scrambling for my boxers, I quickly put them on, trying to figure out how I’m going to explain this whole situation.
“Did you just fuck her?” Elizabeth shouts, stalking her way over towards Kasey looking like she’s ready to attack her. I stop her, grabbing onto her arm to bring her to a halt as I watch Kasey in the corner of my eye. “Who is she?” Elizabeth furiously shouts, fighting to break her hold from my hand, but I yank her body back behind me. I don’t want her anywhere near Kasey, not in her state of mind.
“Mommy,” Josephina fearfully says from the doorway, rubbing her eyes, looking frightened and confused. I’d forgotten she was asleep in the room.
Without hesitation, Kasey rushes to Josephina’s side, picking her up into her arms, making the blanket fall to the ground, exposing her naked body from behind as she retreats to the bedroom with Josephina. Although Kasey is rubbing her back trying to calm her, I can see Josephina’s frightened eyes looking back at me as they walk away.
“Daddy, what’s happening?” are the last words I hear before they disappear into the room, Kasey shutting the door behind them. My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want my daughter frightened from what’s going on.
Elizabeth turns her body to face me. I’m too lost in my thought that she’s able to yank her arm from my grip. “You brought that girl and the slut of her mother back with you?” she snarls at me, the anger radiating from her lips.
“Keep your voice down,” I throw back at her. “What are you doing here anyway, Elizabeth?” I growl through clenched teeth, forcing myself to push the anger I’m feeling from her earlier comment to the side.
Her shocked expression surprises me. “I came to see you. I left as soon as I got your text telling me you were back, thinking you’d want to see me,” she clips out.
“I told you I was going up there to see you tomorrow. You didn’t have to drive all the way down here,” I calmly tell her, sneaking a peek at the bedroom door, curious as to what’s going on in there.
Bringing my attention back to Elizabeth as she says, “I thought you wanted to see me, but it’s obvious you didn’t, since you’re already fucking someone else.”
“I told you to keep your voice down, I don’t want you frightening Josephina,” I snap at her, the anger of her words already boiling my blood.
This isn’t the way I had planned to break things off with Elizabeth. In my mind I was going to sit down with her, calmly talk with her, explain why I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I was going to try my best to be honest with her. Explaining things were no longer the same. Because they weren’t, not since the day Kasey came back into my life. We had a daughter together and in my mind, they were my main focus now.
“Apparently it’s a good thing I did. How long have you been sleeping with her?” she snarls, her chest puffing up from her anger.
Sighing, not wanting to deal with this conversation right now, especially while Josephina and Kasey are in the apartment I answer, only since I have to. “It only happened tonight,” I tell her, the guilt of knowing what I’ve done is morally wrong, even if I don’t regret it.
Angry. “I don’t believe you,” she declares. “She’s the reason you went back, isn’t it?” her voice dropping low as she asks, the realization in her tone making me sigh. Elizabeth was never stupid, I wouldn’t doubt if she suspected it from the beginning. Maybe it’s the reason she kept blasting my phone with her calls.
“Yes, but it isn’t what you’re thinking. Kasey was in an accident and I had to be there for Josephina,” I try explaining, but the skeptical look on her face clearly tells me she doesn’t believe me.
“That little girl might not even be your daughter!” she screams, still trying to prove her point. “Have you even done the paternity test?”
I stalk towards her, making sure I’m looking directly in her eyes. “Don’t even try to make me believe that shit anymore, Elizabeth. The little girl in that room is my daughter,” I say, now pointing my finger at my bedroom door, “And I don’t need a fucking paternity test to prove it,” I growl at her.
The anger in her eyes is replaced with fear. I’m grateful. I’m tired of her placing doubts about Josephina being my daughter in my head. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth, but I can’t marry you. Not anymore,” I somberly tell her.
Her face turns worried, her head slowly shaking back and forth as she stares down at the floor. “You can’t do this to me,” the words coming out in a strain.
I don’t know what else to tell her. What else can I tell her? Looking back at the closed door to my bedroom, I remember I do have a reason why I can’t marry her.
“Elizabeth, I don’t love you anymore. To tell you the truth, my heart belonged to someone else,” I declare. My eyes quickly glancing towards the bedroom door, before I look back to Elizabeth to finish telling her, “I jumped into our relationship and I’m sorry to tell you like this, but I never did love you. It took the person I have always loved coming back into my life to realize it.”
Saying the words, I feel as if the weight of a building has been lifted from my shoulders. Feeling obligated to give Elizabeth everything she wanted was that weight. I always tried my best to please her, to keep her happy, and proposing was one of those things, even if it didn’t feel right. I hate knowing I’m hurting her, but I don’t love her. I never did.
Elizabeth’s eyes are filled with tears, the heartbreak clear in her face, making me feel guilty over everything I’ve done. “I’m sorry,” is all I can say.
Still in shock, I watch the tears running down her face. Slowly she begins to back away, making her w
ay to the door. When she reaches it she takes one last glance at me, her disappointment clear on her face as she turns around and walks out the door.
Standing there, staring at my front door, my body is unable to move. I don’t know how I long I stand there, but when I finally came back from my paralyzed state, I make my way to my bedroom, slowly opening the door to find a dark and quiet room. With the light of the kitchen beaming into the room I’m able to take in Kasey’s form on the bed next to Josephina. Her arms tightly embraced around her.
Leaving the door cracked to allow the light to glow into the room, I walk over to the bed to climb in behind Kasey. She lightly stirs as I spoon her body against mine. Feeling the warmth of her body soothes me, taking all the tension of the night completely away. Nuzzling her neck as I take in her scent, I close my eyes and pray when I wake up this will not be a dream, because the last thing I want is to know I’ve lost everything. Including Kasey.
THE SMELL OF bacon wafting through the air pulls me from my sleep, along with Josephina’s laughter. My eyes snap open as I remember what happened last night. Slowly sitting up, the blanket falls to my waist, reminding me I’m still naked. Pulling the blanket back up, I sit on the bed trying to fully comprehend last night’s events. The scene from last night repeatedly plays in my head, the guilt returning from what I did with Joseph. It shouldn’t have happened. I really need to speak to Joseph about it, but I refuse to do so in front of Josephina, fearing we might cause a scene like the one last night.
Although Josephina didn’t ask many questions when I brought her back to the room, it was only because I was able to comfort her back to sleep, falling asleep just as quickly with her. I’d forced myself to shut out the conversation continuing outside the door. I didn’t care what they were talking about, I already knew I was at fault; I was going to live with the guilt for the rest of my life.
With Me Page 16
