by Kailin Gow
“So,” he asked. “What is our first class?”
It turned out to be a class on warfare. Apparently, the potential rulers of a kingdom full of knights and monsters needed to understand how to command troops, which meant spending time in the classroom of a large, bearded wizard in black robes whose office door proclaimed him to be Prof. Gen. Augustus Hiatus, commander of the Dread Legion (Ret). With a title like that, Wirt was expecting another Ender Paine, yet General Augustus, as he insisted on being called, turned out to be a surprisingly amiable old man, mostly interested in segueing the lesson into old war stories.
Alana and Priscilla were in the same class, and it seemed to consist of playing out an imaginary war using illusions and glamor to make armies move across the general’s desk in miniature. It was, Wirt decided, a bit like playing a video game back home, and he quickly started to get the hang of the tactics involved. Robert turned out to be quite an inventive tactician in his own right, favoring traps and ambushes that suggested he’d learnt at least as much about warfare from leaving buckets of paint on top of doors as from his knightly training.
Alana was every bit as sneaky, using feints and deceptions with all the ease that she normally used enchantments, so that pretty soon, Wirt wasn’t sure what she was doing. Priscilla was the biggest revelation, since she had a ruthless streak when it came to their illusory battlefield that seemed to impress even General Augustus.
“It reminds me of some of my own more glorious charges. Ah, such slaughter! Truly, you take after your father, Your Highness. Of course, this battlefield isn’t quite like a real one. There, you can have so much more fun, but there is more of a chance of being flash fried by a passing dragon, and of course, you have the fog of war to worry about. Why, I can remember my siege of the swamp city of Urruk perfectly…”
Eventually, they got on their way to their next class, which again seemed to feature all four of them. Wirt was surprised to find Alana stopping to talk to him on the way.
“How are you enjoying being Robert’s advisor?”
“I think it’s going to take some getting used to,” Wirt admitted. “I didn’t realize there was so much to do.”
Alana smiled. “It isn’t so bad. It’s the best way to build a good relationship with someone you’ll probably spend your whole life working with. And remember, we’re learning something in every class we have with them, just the same as they are.”
Wirt hadn’t thought of it like that, and he realized then that Ms. Burns had done him a big favor by persuading Robert to take him on as an advisor. It meant that, instead of being stuck in a kind of limbo, waiting for the Quantum Games, he was still learning, because he was accompanying Robert.
The next class turned out to be about using magic to benefit the whole kingdom, literally connecting a ruler or their advisor to their kingdom using magical power so that they could have a small positive effect on things like growing crops and even the weather. Robert, Priscilla and Alana all seemed to find it difficult, although they managed it eventually, but for Wirt, it was easy. It was just the same as what he had done in the forest, only now he was reaching out through that connection, applying power at one end of a chain so that an effect would happen further away.
More lessons followed, and Wirt quickly found himself enjoying working with Robert. When they were out in public, the other boy spent at least as much time falling over, juggling, or making very bad puns as he did paying attention, but he was always ready with a response when Wirt made a suggestion. In fact when they had to go to the library to do a joint assignment reading through the terms of a hypothetical treaty, it was Robert who picked up on the fundamental flaw in it. Quickly, Wirt realized that his job as an advisor wouldn’t be so much to provide Robert with all the answers to a kingdom’s problems as simply keeping him focused long enough to find them for himself.
In the afternoon, the two of them headed off to the practice field for some weapons training, supposedly so that Robert could work on his skills. It was obvious though that the whole thing was for Wirt’s benefit, because pretty soon, Robert was teaching him the basics of using three different types of sword.
“I thought you just, you know, held the blunt end and stuck the sharp end in people,” Wirt said.
Robert smiled. “A lot of people think that. Often not for very long, on a battlefield. Every weapon is different. Come on, I’ll show you.”
They sparred for a little while. The most worrying part of it was that Robert insisted on using live weapons.
“You’re going to be taking part in the Quantum Games soon,” he pointed out. “If you aren’t used to dangerous things by the time they show up, then you could find yourself freezing when you should act. I saw you in Ms. Burn’s lesson. How many times did you get hit by the ball before you finally did something? One time is all you’ll get with the quantum ball.”
So they sparred, and it was obvious from the start how much better Robert was with a sword than Wirt. He held his two handed, battering through Wirt’s defenses and somehow managing to attack in a way that simultaneously pushed aside every strike Wirt tried. Robert started to go into a complex, whirling movement, and suddenly something about his face changed. Wirt saw him appear to stumble, somehow losing his grip on his sword so that it sailed upwards through the air. He fell over, and the sword embedded itself in the ground a few inches from his head.
“You’re going to have to come up with a better sparring partner than that royal idiot if you’re going to have a hope of beating me,” Roland said, approaching. He looked down at Robert with faint disgust as the prince pulled himself unsteadily to his feet.
“I must have tripped,” Robert said, though Wirt knew with one look at him that he hadn’t. He’d done it deliberately. Did he want people to underestimate him that much?
“Maybe you’ll allow me to give you another sword lesson before the Games, Wirt,” Roland suggested with a sneer. Wirt could remember the one time they’d practiced. Roland had beaten him senseless for the fun of it. “It will save me the trouble of disintegrating you.”
Wirt started to take a step forward, but then got more of a grip on himself. Roland wasn’t worth it. “Just stay away from me until the Games, Roland.”
“Or what?”
“You know,” Robert said, “I’m sure I know the perfect ‘knock knock’ joke for this situation. Knock knock.”
“What?” Roland said, obviously as confused as Wirt was in that moment.
“No, you’re supposed to say ‘who’s there’?” Robert smiled. “And then I say ‘the prince of this kingdom, whose advisor you are threatening’. Hmm… maybe it still needs some work.”
Roland gave Robert a vicious look, then stalked off. Wirt looked at Robert in surprise.
“Thanks,” he said, “but you didn’t need to do that.”
Robert shrugged. “It was the easy way to do it. Now come on. Ms. Lake was talking about putting on a special class in making your way through obstacle courses blindfolded, and I want to attend. Well… I want to watch mostly, but you get the idea.”
Wirt did. Despite everything that was in the school rules, and despite their own lives, everyone there seemed to be going out of their way to help him prepare for the Quantum Games. Robert, Ms. Burns, and now Ms. Lake. It was like they all saw something in Wirt that he didn’t. He just hoped that he could live up to it. Especially since living up to it meant staying alive when it came to the Games themselves.
Chapter 9
The next morning, Wirt rolled out of bed early, because Robert had insisted that they should get some more practice in before breakfast. Right then, Wirt wasn’t sure that he was up to it. He ached from all the work he was doing so far to get ready for the Quantum Games. Yet it was obvious that if he didn’t keep going, he wouldn’t be ready, so he forced himself to get ready and head down the travel tubes with the prince to one of the tree’s many gymnasia.
Wirt should have known that something was wrong the moment Robert insisted o
n going to a specific gymnasium Wirt hadn’t heard of before, but half asleep, he stumbled in there, and only realized that a bucket full of paint was toppling towards his head when he had already opened the door. He reacted on instinct, transporting himself a step or two forward so that the paint splashed down on the floor behind him.
“Surprise,” Robert said.
“What was that?” Wirt managed in return.
Robert shrugged. “We have to train you to deal with the unexpected. The Quantum Games could involve almost anything.”
“Won’t we know later exactly what they’ll involve?” Wirt countered. “The headmaster is going to put up the rules, remember?”
“And do you really believe that Ender Paine is going to tell you everything?” Robert gestured to the room. It didn’t look much like a normal gymnasium from this side of the door. Instead, it looked more like a garden, with gym equipment grown out of living wood, while flower beds sat between the pieces and the floor was one of soft grass. “Have a walk around, Wirt. I’ve been planning this one carefully.”
Wirt took a walk around, and he realized as he went that the repertoire of a Fool was quite well suited to setting up surprise attacks. There was the rake left in the grass. There was the cunningly concealed plastic flower that squirted what turned out to be some kind of ink, so that Wirt had to use a shield of air to stop himself getting covered in it. There was a kind of cunningly designed custard pie catapult that fired volley after volley.
Yet after five minutes or so of it, Wirt found himself becoming a little bored. This was kids’ stuff, not the life and death struggle that he’d been told made up the Quantum Games. This was maybe doing something for his reflexes, but it wasn’t really…
Wirt stopped on instinct as he saw the glint of steel in the grass, his foot poised in mid-air. Very, very carefully, he put it back down where it had been. With the faintest push of magic, he pressed air down onto the spot in front of him.
The jaws of a bear trap sprang up where his foot would have been had he taken the step. Wirt looked over at Robert in shock.
“Um… that one isn’t me, actually. Ms. Burns heard what I was doing, and she said she might add one or two touches, so I guess it must have been her.”
Why would she do that? The answer to that was obvious. Because she’d known that Wirt would be getting bored by that point. Because she’d wanted to teach him some kind of lesson about paying attention. Because she’d wanted to remind him of the danger. But a bear trap? Really?
“I think,” Wirt said, “that I’ve done enough practicing for now. We should go to breakfast.”
“All right,” Robert agreed. He looked slightly pale at the sight of the bear trap. “Um… you couldn’t give me a hand tidying up first, could you?”
It took them a while to clear away everything, including another bear trap, a couple of tripwires connected to crossbows, and what appeared to be some kind of gelatinous creature in a precariously placed jar. It seemed that Ms. Burns’ idea of a lesson in surprise was a lot less jolly than Robert’s.
Because it took so long to tidy Robert’s traps away, by the time they got to the cafeteria, it was already full of students. They found a place on a table with Priscilla, Alana and Spencer though, which made things a little awkward, since Priscilla was busy talking loudly to attract Alana’s attention, Alana was focused on Spencer, and Spencer still didn’t have much to say to Wirt. Robert tried to say something, and half the people on the table told him to shut up at once.
Wirt was almost glad when the headmaster walked into the cafeteria, bringing a couple of older students with him. They were, judging by their scarves, current members of the Elite class, who would be finishing their studies at the end of the year. One was a boy with mid-brown hair, who looked thin and studious, with thick spectacles and robes covered in mystical symbols. The other was a girl with wavy brown hair that focused attention on a heart shaped face. She wore robes of deep red. Both of them seemed like the kind of students who would have been popular in their years, quite good looking, quite studious. Right now though, both had extremely worried expressions.
“Attention,” Ender Paine said as he reached the front of the cafeteria. “I have an announcement to make.”
Was it about the Games, Wirt wondered? So close to them, it might be, but there were so many other things it could be too.
“These two are James and Tess,” Ender Paine said, without the tone of mild disgust he normally reserved for students. Either they were something special, or he eased off his students a little once they had made it into the elite class. Yet another reason to want to get into it. “When the time comes, you will listen to what they have to say. First though…”
The headmaster took what appeared to be a lump of obsidian from one of his pockets. It started to glow with a weird light that seemed to be somewhere between purple and black, before images appeared in the middle of the cafeteria. They were images of students from the elite class. At least, they wore the scarves.
“We need assistance,” one said. “The unrest in Upper Brolf is growing by the day.”
“The queen is dead!” another cried out, taking the first’s place. “I don’t know what to do!”
More followed, and they all seemed to have similar stories to tell. Assassinations, invasions, rebellions. Elite student followed elite student, each with a tale of woe.
“All of those images are from messages sent to me or the school in the last month,” Ender Paine said. “Ordinarily, I would not involve myself in such things. They are simply the natural course of politics. Now though…”
He snapped his fingers and Tess came forward to talk. “I advise a princess in the lands of the Western Desert,” she said. “In just the last month, we have had bandit raids, attempts on the lives of our officials, and more. I have personally had to fight off two bands of intruders in the palace, and I am only here because I do not know how many more I can fight.”
James spoke after her. “My prince lives in the Eastern Desert Kingdom. We have had all the same problems. I have had to fight against groups of bandits to try to protect our trade caravans, and even then, we have lost many.”
Ender Paine stepped forward again. “You can see the pattern,” he said, addressing the assembled students. “Violence and chaos are spreading throughout the Hundred Kingdoms. Now, I am sure there are those who would say that I would be happy to see something like that…”
His eyes seemed to catch Wirt’s just as Wirt started to think exactly that.
“…and it is true that I have no time for weakness. It is also true, however, that I do not like disorder. I do not like outside forces making the pupils and former pupils of this school appear too weak to defend their kingdoms. If that kind of thing went on too long, it might lead to people questioning what our beloved school is here for, and I will not allow that. I will not.”
The headmaster’s voice seemed to thunder through the space of the cafeteria in that moment and the shadows around him seemed to form stark lines on his face. “So many things happening at once is unlikely to be an accident. Someone is causing it, and when I find out who, that person will die. Until then though, this newly violent world means that we must take steps to ensure that the students of this school are able to uphold its reputation no matter what happens.” A thought seemed to occur to him. “Oh yes, and stop themselves being killed along with all the people around them. Obviously.”
Ender Paine stopped talking for a moment or two, looking around the assembled crowd of students. “In recent years, the curriculum of this school has become remarkably soft, with classes focused only on the general uses of magic and not on their most destructive applications.”
Soft? If Wirt had to pick a word to describe half the things that had happened to him at the school, it wouldn’t be that. Insane, possibly. Maybe even murderous. But not soft. He’d been taught things that could let him change a person’s shape or their mind, kill them using the elements or transport them away
, deceive them or summon up creatures to do just about anything to them. Apparently though, all that wasn’t enough for Ender Paine.
“In light of this new threat, I will be beginning a new class, which will take place immediately after breakfast this morning. And every morning until I am satisfied that you can destroy your enemies adequately.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, and defend yourselves from harm, or whatever it is. Every student, in every year, is required to attend, though of course the youngest children will not be required to achieve the same standards as the oldest quite yet.” He smiled tightly. “They will have at least until the end of term for that. The first class will take place in the Slightly Cavernous Lecture Theater immediately after breakfast. Which means in ten minutes. Any students who are late will be assumed to be volunteering to assist me with the demonstrations as targets. Enjoy the rest of your breakfasts.”
He turned to leave, but then paused, taking a large piece of paper from his pocket and pinning it to the wall.
“Oh, before I forget, these are, as promised, the rules for this year’s Quantum Games. Those of you involved in them might want to peruse them.” He took an old fashioned pocket watch from inside his jacket. “Quickly, of course. Eight minutes and thirty seconds now.”
He left, taking the two elite class students with him. Wirt looked around the table. Everyone there looked slightly shocked at the sudden change in their schedules, or possibly just at the thought of being taught by the headmaster. Wirt looked across at Spencer, who glanced over at the note.
“Should we check them, do you think?” Spencer asked.
Wirt nodded. “We have to. Otherwise, we’ll be at a disadvantage in the Games.” He thought about the headmaster’s threat. Ender Paine might not have meant it, but it was never wise to assume that kind of thing with him. “Just… maybe we should do it very quickly?”
