by E. Walsh
“No, they’re in the next farm. The girls were living with them until now. I’ve got to get on.”
He went to the barn and it was Casey’s chance to look around now, in the daylight. She could tell the cabin and its garden has been loved before, but now there was a sadness to the house. The curtains, while pretty, needed cleaning. As did the windows and the walls and the floors. But overall nothing she couldn’t mend, clean or fix. She felt quite proud.
What had started as a dreadful sequence of events had brought her here, to her new home. And she could involve the little girls too.
After breakfast, Casey decided to wash the curtains and clean the windows. She gave Lily and Rose jobs to do and they followed her around, copying her actions.
With the washing done, she set about tidying the outside, well at least to start it. It would take some time but for once, Casey felt like a queen.
She was part of something now and what she did mattered. At the end of a long day, she was so proud of her day’s work. She heard the sound of a horse and saw Rance returning. His face dropped when he saw her work.
She wasn’t quite sure whether it was due to what she had done and/or the amount of work she had achieved in a day. She smiled at him, waiting to hear his thoughts.
“Is dinner ready?” was all he said.
Casey felt deflated. All day she had worked hard, hoping to connect with him in some way. Would she just be the housemaid and child-minder? How could he not say something, anything?
“Dinner’s almost ready. Why don’t you go wash up?” she said, trying to be patient and walked back to the house as Rance went to the well.
But what she couldn’t see was how he was trying to hold back his tears. The house looked like a home again. It actually looked like it was smiling, it was so shiny and tidy.
He couldn’t believe the amount of work that Casey had accomplished. And he knew by her that she felt proud of it too. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to her.
It was like Annie was home again. He composed himself as he went back home.
“Papa, we clean like mama,” Lily shouted, as she ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his leg.
“You did a very good job.” He smiled at Lily and then Rose wanted some attention too.
At least he acknowledged the children’s work, Casey mused to herself as she dished up dinner. Dinner had been quiet. They had said grace and while the girls chatted to each other, Rance had just eaten, lost in his own thoughts.
Casey wanted to try to engage him in conversation. But each time she opened her mouth to speak, she stopped herself.
Rance went out to do his final check of the cows while Casey washed and got the girls ready for bed. Rose and Lily hadn’t left “mama” since she arrived.
As she got them up to the loft to tuck them, she started to sing, a song she remembered her mother singing.
As Rance got closer to the house, he could hear her dulcet tones wafting to him. It made him smile and he could feel an ease inside himself, similar to the feeling he got when he went to Annie’s grave.
He sat by the fire and closed his eyes as Casey continued her song. It comforted Rance, this child’s lullaby. He never thought someone could make him feel at peace.
The singing became quieter and softer and soon Casey reappeared in the living room.
“The children are asleep. I’m going to finish my chores, if that’s okay with you, Mr. McDonald.”
“I think you can call me Rance, Casey, we are married.” He smiled at her as he spoke. But then he became self-conscious.
“Rance, your wife must have been a wonderful woman. Your little girls are so full of joy.”
She saw Rance nod his head.
“She never got to see them. She died when they were born. It was her heart. It was too weak.” His voice became quieter as he went into deep thought.
No wonder he’s so sad, Casey thought. She could see he wanted to love his children, but their joyful living was a reminder that their lives had come at a cost. But Rance asked no questions of Casey and her reason for answering his ad.
She was tidying the kitchen and Rance watched her. He hadn’t paid much attention to her looks. She had beautiful deep red hair that dangled on her shoulders, her skin like alabaster.
She was a bit thin in his estimation but nevertheless a fine looking woman.
She left him in the living room as she climbed up to the loft to go to bed. Rance thought about the changes Casey had brought into his life in just the day she was here. There was joy and he found himself looking forward to coming home that evening. He was coming home to warmth and light.
There was nothing like seeing the light signaling a welcome home. He had missed these things. He fell asleep on the chair.
Rance was shocked out of his sleep when Casey dropped the wood she was carrying.
“I didn’t mean to wake you. You looked so peaceful. I have a brew on and breakfast will be ready shortly.”
Casey was awake before him. He had slept well, but his body didn’t like sleeping in the chair. He needed to stretch out.
“I hadn’t meant to fall asleep,” he said. Then paused a moment before adding, “Casey, I want to say thank you. You have done a great job. I truly appreciate it even if I don’t always show it.”
“Thank you, Rance. It’s very kind of you to notice.”
They sat as a family and ate breakfast. This time, however, Rance talked to his daughters as they told him stories. Casey smiled, but became sad as she remembered her two youngest sisters, they never got this kind of attention.
"Will you come to visit me at noon?"
Casey could feel her heart jump at the invitation. She smiled at Rance.
"Of course, that is what a wife does. Rose and Lily will be so happy to see you during the day." But something in Rance's expression caught Casey off guard as she mentioned the word "wife".
"I need you to bring my lunch. It's one of the jobs you can do and I'll show you how to do what I do in the fields."
She could feel her body deflate. What she thought was an olive branch to being equal partners was just another chore for her to do.
It wasn't what she wanted but how could she make him change his mind towards her, to give her a chance to love him, and he her.
Rance hadn't meant his words to sound like he was treating her like a servant but he couldn't, he wouldn't allow him to fall in love with her, no matter how wonderful she was.
"Maybe someday, you will see me more than an unpaid slave," Casey said to herself as she watched Rance stand up from the table and head out to the barn to get ready to ride out. But the time for daydreaming was over.
“What will we do today, Lily and Rose?” Casey asked, looking down at the smiling little faces.
“Grow flowers. Grow flowers,” the girls chimed.
Casey smiled at them. “Yes, working the soil would be nice. Come along then and we’ll get our tools.”
After spending some time working in the vegetable garden, she prepared a lunch for Rance and she added extras for her and the girls in the hope he would invite them to stay while he ate. They set off on a trail that was well worn and Rance had told her to stay on it until they saw him.
* * *
Chapter Thirteen
The girls toddled along and from time to time, Casey had to do her balancing act of carrying one or both along with the basket. It was taking longer than expected due to Rose and Lily.
To pass the time as the girls were beginning to get irritable, Casey began to sing and encouraged the girls to join in, teaching them the words as they went along.
Rance could hear the merry troupe approach and he smiled. It warmed his heart to hear the girls singing and it was due to Casey.
He found himself looking forward to seeing them and he stopped what he was doing to find a place for them to sit.
Casey saw him and knew from his demeanor that his work was going well as he was content to come to meet them. Ro
se and Lily ran towards, having climbed off Casey.
"Papa, papa, hear us sing." He smiled as their little arms and legs enveloped him.
"Yes, I did hear you sing, that was lovely. Now, what did you bring me to eat?"
"Rance, here we go." Casey laid out his lunch as the two little ones sat down on the grass. Their little faces watching Rance as he ate. He broke off pieces of his bread and fed the little girls who ate like little birds.
"Are you eating something Casey?" he stretched his hand over with some meat and as Casey reached over, she felt a spark as her hand brushed off his. They pulled their hands back and looked shyly at each other.
"How is the work going?" Casey asked anxious to change the subject.
"It's hard going, but you know, it's getting there. Here, let me show you what to do?" Rance picked up his scythe and demonstrated the motion of cutting through the prairie grass.
Casey took the scythe and was surprised by its weight. She went to swing the scythe but rather than cut the grass at ground level, she just took the top part off. She tried again and she swung with such force that she spun around and fell.
Rance couldn't contain his laughter as he leaned forward to help her up. She reached out her arms. Without realizing his own strength, he pulled up so forcefully, that she banged into his body, knocking both of them off balance. It was the closest they had ever been together.
They stood for a moment, the children oblivious, but they could feel each other's heartbeats. Casey aware of his strong chest and arms, Rance aware of the sweet smell from her hair and only the softness that a woman has.
Casey looked up into his face as he looked down at hers. He smiled at her as she wondered what was going through his mind. This was what life was about, Rance thought about. The heavy toil broken by visits from one's wife and children.
For the briefest of moments, Rance listened to his own heart and what it was telling him. There was someone he could love and who could love him too.
He pulled her in close to him and kissed her on the lips, gently and softly; so different from their wedding kiss. This had passion and she could feel his body press into hers as she just wanted to melt into him. Casey was taken aback but nonetheless enjoyed the feeling of his lips against hers. She wanted to be his wife, in all ways.
But the moment was broken when Lily fell over and began to cry. Casey rushed to her side but nothing major had occurred. Casey stood tall and brushed down her dress.
"I'll go home now. I've some chores to do." Casey said, unaware of how to settle the feelings that been woken up by their warm embrace.
"Very well. I'll see you then. Bye Rose and Lily." Rance had returned to his usual self, any warmth now evaporated.
* * *
Chapter Fourteen
They headed back to the cabin and Casey was happy with the moment that had passed between her and Rance. It was a hopeful sign. If he could just allow himself to love her, she could have her sisters and brothers living with them.
Not that the only reason why she wanted him to love her. While her initial plan had been to marry and have a home for her siblings, she realized she had feelings for Rance.
She saw the potential for a great farm but help was needed and that’s where her brothers could come in. It would be ideal. Casey daydreamed as Lily and Rose toddled beside her.
They were getting tired so she knew she’d put them to bed when she got home.
She carried the girls one at a time up the ladder and tucked them into bed. She had only sung the first verse of her lullaby when they had fallen asleep. They looked so angelic, she thought to herself and they were lovely little girls too. As she began her climb down the ladder, Casey lost her footing and fell off, landing with a thud on the floor.
Light began to fade and Rance got ready to head home. As he rode back, he thought about the day and lovely family scene that had occurred. For the first time in a long while that he felt at ease.
“I’m sorry Annie for getting carried away with Casey. I got swept up in the moment of happiness.” He talked out loud, looking for a reply.
He decided to take a detour and head to Annie’s grave. It upset him that he hadn’t really given her much thought in the last few days. But that stood to reason what with the Marshal’s visit coupled with Casey’s arrival, his routine and his mind were upset.
At Annie’s grave, he jumped off his horse and knelt by it. “My lovely Annie, whatever must you think of me?” Rance was not an emotional man but he couldn’t help himself but release the tears that had been building up. He was putting himself under so much pressure.
“Dear Lord, please give me a sign. Help me to know the right thing to do. Annie, if you can hear me, please let me know if I should send Casey away and give the girls to your parents. I need your help and guidance. Should I go back out with the Marshal? I don’t know what I’m doing without you.”
Rance waited as though expecting a reply but none came although he did feel less tension in his body. He attributed this to his crying. He always felt better after crying. He took his horse by the reins and jumped up on his back. It was time to go home.
As he made his way through the track and was getting closer to the house, he was surprised that there was no smoke from the fire. And as he eased closer, there were no lights on.
His heart froze for a moment, something was wrong, very wrong. He galloped as fast as he could, his fear that Jonah McAllister had done something terrible to his family. But there was no sound from the house as he jumped off, his rifle ready to fire.
“Come out with your hands up! I’m armed and ready to shoot,” Rance called out but nothing, no response. He pushed the door open with his leg, keeping his hands on his rifle and he could hear whimpering.
“Papa, papa, I can’t see,” it was Lily.
“Stay where you are girls, where’s Casey?” He didn’t really expect a response from the children. He managed to light the oil lamp and there Casey lay on the floor, out cold.
“Oh my God, Casey, are you okay?” Rance cradled Casey’s head in his lap. He put the lamp on the floor beside him to see if she was breathing. She was. The girls began to cry when they saw Casey.
“Hush, babies, it’s okay, Casey will be okay. She just needs to rest. Stay where you are and I’ll put Casey into my bed.” He scooped her up in his arms. She was so light. He prayed that she was okay as he gently placed her on his bed. There was still no sign of consciousness from Casey.
“Okay, Lily and Rose, you have to help Papa take care of Casey. I’ll lift you down.”
With his bedroom door open, he could see Casey. He thought it best to feed the girls first. Then he went in to check on Casey. There was a nasty bump on the side of her head, but no blood. He got a damp cloth and applied it to her bump.
Casey began to stir but she was disorientated and her talk indecipherable. But she immediately vomited on herself and then on Rance.
He stood back with the shock but then immediately picked up a towel to wipe her face and wrung out the cloth to clean her mouth. He knew head injuries caused issues that couldn’t be seen.
“Lily, Rose, get Papa a clean shirt and a drink for Casey.”
“Where am I? Who are you?” was all Casey muttered before falling unconscious again.
With the girls’ help, he undressed Casey as there was sick on her clothes. He tried to change the blanket but Casey was holding on to it.
As he sat on the bed beside her, he wiped her hair off her brow. She was so pale and looked like she needed taking of. After another hour, there was no further sickness from her and he put the girls to bed. He sat by Casey, dozing from time to time on the hard chair.
He thought about the last few days and the lightness and happiness she had brought into his life and how he had missed his little girls. Rance would need to tell her how much she meant to him.
Casey woke with a thundering headache. It hurt to open her eyes but as she gained her full awareness, she began to notice she wasn�
�t in her normal sleeping area with the girls.
She looked around and there was Rance, sleeping in the chair beside her. She still wasn’t sure what happened. Casey tried to get out of bed but fell back when she became lightheaded. Her sudden jolt woke Rance.
“Thank God, you’re awake! You had us so worried.”
Casey looked at Rance. He was tired and worried looking.
“Did you stay up all night?”
“Yes, I think so. I feel asleep from time to time but I had an eye on you. You must have fallen off the ladder. You have a nasty bang and you were sick.”
Casey looked down at what she was wearing, it wasn’t her dress.
“The girls helped me to change your clothes. You were sick down your dress. I’ve washed it out so it should be fine. Stay in bed and I’ll tend to the girls. I’ll stay here today. You rest.” He leaned forward to kiss her on her forehead, so gentle.
As he left the room, he said a silent prayer to God and to Annie. It was the sign he had been looking for. The girls delighted in having papa around for the day and they tended lovingly to Casey, cuddling in beside her from time to time.
“Poor mama, bumped head,” as they gave her little kisses to heal it better. It was what Casey had done when Lily had fallen and being impressionable, they had copied her.
It amused Rance to see them so caring. Two days later, Rance felt Casey was well enough for him to be back into the field.
“Stay here for the day and I’ll be home in breaks. Girls, look after Casey.” And off Rance went.
* * *
Chapter Fifteen
The day passed swiftly as they worked in the vegetable garden preparing it for seed. Casey heard the sound of a horse and figured it was Rance.
“Is your papa coming back?” she asked the girls and they looked up but it was from another direction. The horse wasn’t Rance’s and the man didn’t look familiar to her.
“Good morning, is Rance home?”
“No, sir, I’m Mrs. McDonald, may I help?” Casey told the girls to run into the house.
