by Amity Cross
“I know what they did to me,” I snapped. “All that time, I knew.”
Vaughn let out a slow whistle. “Well, that’s even more screwed up. You knew and still didn’t give a fuck. What about now?”
“I don’t give a fuck!” I roared.
He shook his head and held up his hands, palms out. “Fine. Suit yourself.”
I went for the door, the room suddenly beginning to suffocate me. Weiss deserved a bullet, but if I allowed myself…Vaughn would get one too, simply because he pissed me off.
“I’ll keep him on ice a few days,” The Hangman said as I fled. “Think about it and let me know.”
I stormed out into the street with my head down and found my car where I’d parked it in a spot across the road. It was deathly cold, my breath vaporizing, and the air was heavy with promised snow. I was alone on the dark street, the orange glow of the lights overhead casting everything in an otherworldly hue. Unlocking the door, I slid inside.
I sat in the driver’s seat and stared at the brick wall in front of me. Mercy, Weiss, Vaughn… The Hangman was only trying to give me what he thought I wanted. Mercy thought exactly the same thing, which meant I was the only one fighting it.
She’d told me that night, the one where we’d sat out on the trunk of the fallen tree at the cottage, the night a week after we’d returned from Paris…she’d told me that she’d felt cheated. Sykes was gone—she’d put a bullet into his head—and felt cheated. Even though she understood it wasn’t going to bring her family back, she felt cheated when she pulled the trigger.
My feelings were much the same. What was the point in going after a ghost? None.
What’s next? Mercy wanted a direction. I couldn’t give her one. I didn’t want anything but out and we were out. She’d had a taste and wanted a direction. I knew she wanted to get into the game of kill for hire, but it was that life I was trying to save her from. Then why did you train her to be like you?
I thumped the steering wheel and cursed.
Now that she had her revenge, would she want to stay after she’d learned all she could from me? Would she still want me?
I didn’t know the first thing about nurturing a relationship.
I only knew how to destroy.
Five
Mercy
I didn’t like arguing with X.
He was far from a hearts and flowers kind of guy, but I still favored the chilled out version to the unpredictable beast inside him.
I spent all day wondering what Vaughn wanted with him and what his meeting might be about. X avoided talking about it with his usual skilled ease, occupying me with bullet making one-oh-one. The ones I’d made had worked fine but had a long way to go in the cosmetic stakes. When I sat mine next to X’s, they looked like ugly pieces of shit. Even though his were obviously handmade, they were sleek and professional, right up there in artistic merit. Obviously, sculpture hadn’t been my thing at University.
When he’d finally left to go to Exeter, I’d busied myself with making another round of ammunition before curling up on the sofa to await his return.
Every time he went away, it was like a limb had been severed from my body…I ached for his touch, his presence, his roughly spoken words. After so much time together, he had become half of me. I wondered if X felt the same, that the distance between us felt as hollow to him as it did for me. I wondered if he could cope with that.
The front door slammed announcing X’s return.
I stepped into the living room as he shucked off his jacket, tossing it onto the sofa. His shoulders were tense, his eyes dark with annoyance.
I hardly dared to ask, but curiosity always got the better of me. “What did Vaughn want?”
X glanced at me, his lips thin. “He—” He turned away.
“X?”
“He had a gift.”
“A gift?” That didn’t sound too bad, but from what I knew about Vaughn, it could mean absolutely anything.
“Weiss.”
“Weiss?”
X picked up the poker and began stoking the coals in the fireplace. Sparks flew and the wood spat as he disturbed the ashes.
“What did he say?” I hardly dared to ask again, but I wanted to know. I could hardly remember the last time I saw him.
“Nothing,” X snapped. “He said nothing.”
“I can see it’s eating you up,” I began. “You must—”
“I’m sure he’d like to see you,” X spat.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
He turned on his heel, glaring at me. “He’s in fucking love with you.”
I paled. “Weiss?”
“Yes, Weiss.” X hissed his name with a hate that I’d never seen from him before. Hate was a strong emotion, right up there with love, and coming from a man like X, that meant big trouble.
“Even if it were true, I’m sure he stopped the moment he found out who I was.”
“You’re mine,” X growled, his eyes widening. “Mine.”
Anger rose, making every nerve ending in my body flare, and I shoved him with the flats of my palms. “And you’re fucking mine.”
X grasped me around the waist and pulled me against his chest, caging me against him with strong arms.
“You want a direction,” he hissed. “I want out. I wanted out long before I met you.”
My rage began to slow to a simmer. “Out of Royal Blood?”
“Knowing or not makes no difference. I want out. I want out with you.”
He wanted to run away to a tropical beach someplace, a private island, an isolated community, a hidden corner of the world where he could just…be…and he wanted to share that with me. He couldn’t say the words, but this was his way of showing that he cared. He was trying, and all I was doing was pushing him into a darkness he wanted to leave behind. Now Vaughn had shoved Weiss into his face and smooshed him around, taunting and enraging the beast even more. Who was the real monster in this equation?
I nodded slowly, searching his green eyes with mine. He was totally in control and that’s how I knew he was truthful—I heard it in his voice and in his actions. If he was manic, his pupils usually blew out, but he was as he always was. Steadfast.
“What will you do about him?” I asked.
“I don’t know. He knows I’m alive, he knows we’re still in the UK. Sense tells me to put him down.”
“Kill him?” I didn’t know why the notion shocked me. Maybe because Weiss had given me a job when no one else did, or maybe because he was X’s handler for eight years. That had to leave a lasting impression on him.
X let his grasp slacken and lifted his hands to cup my face. “I don’t see any other way.”
“We could use him for information.” X stilled. “If you want to disappear, it might be good knowing Royal Blood’s movements.”
X peered at me, his thumbs beginning to stroke my cheeks. “You want…”
“I want you,” I whispered. “If that means disappearing, then we’ll disappear.” I wasn’t sure what I was saying, but I was beginning to think I was just as blind going into this as X was. Our future had always been unwritten and uncertain…maybe now was the perfect time to make plans for something a little more peaceful.
X leaned down, caught my lips with his and kissed me. I’d told him exactly what he wanted to hear, but I wasn’t sure that I was all in just yet. Weiss could say anything, he could try and fuck with X’s mind and destabilize him even further. It wasn’t going to be as cut and dried as I hoped.
“I’ll talk to him,” he murmured against my mouth.
“Tomorrow?” I asked, shoving my hands underneath his shirt and warming them against his heated skin.
He nodded, twisting his fingers into my hair. “Right now, I want to fuck you over the sofa.”
I moaned softly, pressing against the length of his body. “Then what are you waiting for?” I pushed my hands down the back of his jeans. “Take me.”
He let his hands drop and suddenly, he p
ulled my jumper and T-shirt up over my head, flinging them onto the floor.
“No bra?” he asked, his hands instantly going for my breasts.
I shook my head. “No bra.”
Reaching behind him, he fisted a hand into his shirt and pulled it up over his head, tossing it aside to land on top of my discarded clothes. Allowing myself to fall forward, I sucked his left nipple into my mouth, rolling my tongue over the tip. X’s hands moved down inside my jeans, cupping my ass and squeezing.
“Too many clothes,” he murmured, pushing them down over my hips.
“Too many clothes,” I echoed, my mouth moving against his skin as I gave his trousers the same treatment.
He drew in a ragged breath as he kicked off his jeans and pressed his erection into my belly. Fuck, it was a wonder he had any stamina left the amount we went at it, but he seemed to have a never-ending supply of it. One day he’d break me, but I hoped it wasn’t any time soon.
X grasped my waist and flipped me around, shoving me forward. He bent me at the waist over the back of the sofa, forcing my ass into the air. It was X’s favorite position for a reason. He could exude total control over me. Dominance was his thing and since it felt so fucking good, I didn’t have it in me to complain. At least he now let me look at him during sex.
His hands were on my ass cheeks, spreading me wide, and I gasped as I felt the head of his cock rub against me, teasing, then all too suddenly, he took me. Every time with him felt like the first as he filled the place that was reserved solely for him. Explosive, desperate…shattering.
“Talk to me,” I cried, thrusting back into him. “Tell me…”
X brought his hand down and slapped my ass. His palm connected with a sharp crack, and I automatically flinched, crying out.
“You like that?”
I shivered in his grasp, my ass smarting with the lingering pain of his palm. “You know I like it,” I groaned. “I like you hard… I like the pain.”
He tugged on my hair, pulling my head back and began to fuck me in long strokes. “You like it when I’m hard on you.”
“I like it when you’re hard in me,” I retorted, squeezing my pussy around his shaft.
X moaned loudly and increased his pace, slamming into me, our bodies coming together over and over… It was a roller coaster. Being with this man…it was a fucking roller coaster. It went up so fast, the pain of the lows almost merged with the euphoria until I couldn’t tell them apart.
X ran his hand over my waist, searching for my clit, and when he found the ball of nerves, he pinched. It was enough to send me over the edge into the abyss, and I came suddenly, digging my fingers into the sofa, his name on my lips.
Blood whooshed through my ears as pleasure seared through my entire being, and I felt X tense as he spilled inside me. He was saying something, something I couldn’t make out in my heady state, and all too soon, he was curling his body over mine, his cock sliding out.
Somehow, we ended up on the sofa with me on top, sprawled over his chest.
“How do you feel about Morocco?” X asked suddenly.
“Morocco?”
“I hear it’s agreeable,” he replied, his voice sounding sleepy.
I murmured something incoherent as I let my eyes droop. Morocco seemed like another planet…a whole world away. The more I let the idea settle in my mind, the more I felt it was an escape. We’d run and the world would soon catch up with us—we’d probably be running for the rest of our lives.
Remembering what I’d said as X had plunged his cock into me, I stilled. I like the pain. Maybe that’s what my problem was. I liked everything that was bad for me.
I was addicted to the pain.
Six
X
Welcome to Royal Blood. Enjoy your fuckin’ stay
Mercy in the passenger seat beside me, I focused on the road ahead, trying to keep my mind on task.
I hadn’t expected to break down like I did when I’d laid eyes on Weiss yesterday. Then again, I hadn’t expected to see him at all. Ever.
Mercy had a point. Talking to him would give us information on Royal Blood’s comings and goings, and what plans they had in play to capture or kill us. When we decided to leave the UK, it would be with intel at our backs. Disappearing would be a much easier task, though I couldn’t help the inkling of doubt that crept into my mind the more I thought about Mercy’s agenda.
She’d been pushing and pushing for me to face my past and go after Royal Blood. When she’d dropped it so suddenly…something wasn’t adding up. It had fast become the norm for me to be blind where Mercy Reid was concerned. I had to keep an eye on her.
I glanced over at her as we drove through the industrial outskirts of Exeter. Not that there was much of an industry here. The city was small, a lot of this area was either currently in development or abandoned.
Mercy glanced at me, catching my gaze, and smiled. Whatever she was thinking was a mystery, and I knew I’d taught her well.
“When we get there,” I said, turning my attention back to the road ahead, “you are to stay away from him.”
“Him?” she asked. I didn’t have to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes. “You mean Weiss? Or Vaughn?”
“Both.”
“You know I can handle myself, right?”
I thought about her imprisonment, escape and subsequent murder of Sykes in France and snorted. “One success on one mission is not a benchmark for the rest of your life.”
“So says you.”
I scowled. “So says experience.”
Mercy was the one to snort this time.
“This has been the only life I know,” I said, trying not to snap at her. “Do yourself a favor and listen, Mercy.”
She shifted in the seat. “Yes, Sir.”
Deciding not to bite, I knew she was hoping to do her own round of questioning with Weiss, but if I had anything to do with it, she would never enter that room. She would never lay eyes on that man again.
I shook my head as we approached the distillery, not in the least bit shocked that she was still pushing the envelope. She wanted to uncover my past and go after Royal Blood, with or without my blessing. She’d had a taste of revenge, a taste of violence, the life of an assassin, and she wanted more. I’d tried to save her soul, but it was becoming more and more apparent that I’d failed.
Pulling the car up out the front of the distillery, I killed the engine.
“Don’t push it, Mercy,” I said. “I know your game. You will not enter that room.”
“This is not a game,” she replied, undoing her seatbelt.
“I’m glad we’re on the same fucking page,” I replied. “Finally.”
She didn’t reply, instead she just got out of the car and slammed the door shut.
Getting out and rounding the front, I stood beside her, allowing my fingers to brush lightly against hers. It was a small gesture to tell her that even though I was angry, I was still with her…in her heart and in what was left of my own. She curled her little finger around mine. She understood.
There was movement as the side door to the distillery opened as Hawkes edged out, and I bade her to walk forward. Like yesterday, he was wearing a dark colored suit in a navy so deep it almost looked black.
“Who’s that?” she asked, eyeing him as he waited for us to approach.
He inclined his head slightly as we came into earshot. “I’m Hawkes,” he replied before I had the chance to fill her in.
Her eyes narrowed as she appraised him. “I’ve seen you before.”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” He gestured to the entrance of the distillery, his gaze moving to mine. “Vaughn is waiting for you.”
Mercy let her gaze run over him one more time, no doubt committing his likeness to memory, before we stepped inside.
“X,” Vaughn declared as we entered. “I must say I’m surprised to see you back after yesterday.” He turned his focus to Mercy, and his smile widened. “And, Mercy Reid. A pleasure.”
He held out his hand, and to my repulsion, she placed hers in his. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her knuckles, his well-ingrained billionaire society mannerisms coming back to the surface. “I believe I owe you my gratitude.”
“We both got what we wanted,” she replied, pulling her hand away awkwardly. “Gratitude is not necessary.”
I smirked, the jealous monster inside of me pleased with her reaction.
Vaughn narrowed his eyes at me and smiled knowingly. Nothing ever escaped him, either. “He’s right where you left him. Be my guest.”
I gestured to Mercy. “Keep her out here.”
She went to step forward, her face contorted in anger. “Fuck—”
I moved in front of her, my expression total darkness. “Mercy.” It wasn’t a request. It was a master ordering his apprentice.
She stilled, the anger dropping from her gaze.
Vaughn moved in my peripheral vision. “Come,” he said to her. “Do you want a drink while you wait?”
“Don’t fuck with her, either, Vaughn,” I snapped.
He laughed, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Without another word, and trusting Mercy to keep her own with Vaughn, I descended the stairs. Time to put my head into the interrogation and leave my trouble with her behind. No doubt, we would argue about it upon our return to the cottage. I’d never had so much resistance from a woman in my entire life. I knew she was only trying to do what she thought was best, but her thinking was all wrong.
Opening the door, I found Weiss tied to the same chair as he was yesterday. He must be very uncomfortable. Fucking good.
His head rose as I entered, the door booming through the empty space as I slammed it shut behind me.
“I was wondering when you’d come back,” he rasped. “Though I didn’t expect it so soon.”
I wandered aimlessly over to him, wondering where I should start. A backhand across the mouth? A boot against his balls? A fist to the temple?
“Where would you like to start, X?” he went on. “The day we met or before?”
