by Kylie Parker
“This isn’t goodbye.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against hers, as a tear streamed down his cheek. “I’ve found you once. I’ll find you again.”
“Come back to me.” She said, her voice broken, as he ran his thumbs across her cheekbones. He gave her a slow nod, closing his eyes, as he eased out of her hold. Helen’s heart pounded in her chest, as she watched him turn around. As much as his leaving hurt her though, she would not take her eyes off of him. She kept her gaze settled on him, as his lazy footsteps led him away from the motel…
Godspeed, baby. Be careful out there. Find me again, like you said. God… I miss you already.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Predictably, Helen could not sleep that night. She kept staring up at the ceiling, worried about Marcus, as the incident from the diner replayed in her mind, over and over again. In spite of her fear of losing him, she did not regret her decision to allow him to go to New York all by himself. In her opinion, this was something that he should have done a long time ago. Much to her dislike, she had to admit that Marcus had a point in everything he had said to her that night. Helen could not spend more than a few hours in that motel; she had to keep moving. More importantly however, he was going to war; one that even a seasoned marine like him might not survive.
Minute after minute dragged slowly past. Helen waited for his phone call and prayed for him, in the hope that her “dark angel” as she liked to call him, would communicate with her. Unfortunately for her though, her phone rang just once during that time and Marcus was not on the other end of the line. It was her friend, Olivia, asking how she had been. Seconds into their conversation, Olivia understood that Helen was in a very poor emotional state, but, despite her continuous requests to elaborate, she would not disclose the reason. As a matter of fact, Helen was so upset that she hung up on her friend rather rudely.
The first sunbeams peeking through the window signaled the end of Marcus’s deadline. She tried contacting him, but his cell phone was off. With a heavy heart, Helen called Wilkes Barre Scranton International Airport and booked a ticket on the next available flight to Los Angeles. She was in luck. It was scheduled to depart at 9:45am and the airport was a little over thirty miles away from the town. Helen would not have to rush to get there.
Before vacating the motel room, she gazed at the spot where she and Marcus had kissed the night before, remembering his words:
“This isn’t goodbye.”
I pray to God you’re right. Helen thought to herself. I pray we get to see each other again. My God, yesterday was such an intense day. I was so scared I thought I was going to pass out or something. These past weeks have been crazy: from Shandaken to New York City; to Barbados; then back home; Right after that, L.A.; then, back home, again. Then, you showed up. Now, I have another plane to catch. It’s funny… I thought I’d be excited to go back to L.A., but I’m not. Not while worrying sick about him. The flight’s going to feel like torture and things will only get worse when I see Liv and Michelle. They’ll start asking questions and the last thing I need right now is to discuss yesterday. But then again, I’ve missed them. I can’t just go to a hotel and stare at the ceiling again.
The long flight took a toll on her. By the time Helen arrived in the city of angels, she was exhausted. However, the time that she spent on the plane gave her the chance to clear her mind. She hadn’t gotten rid of the negative thoughts, but she had relaxed enough to realize her need to share her ordeal with her friends. Willing to surprise them though, she would not call anybody.
Cheering voices filled her ears, as she approached James and Olivia’s suite. Apparently, they were in the middle of some kind of celebration, but Helen had no idea about the occasion. And, sadly for her, the person who answered the door was the one she had missed the least: Rick Briar.
“Sweet ass chick!” He cheered, opening his arms. “What a nice surprise!”
“Evening, Rick.” Helen murmured, stepping into the suite.
“Let me help you with those.” Rick suggested, reaching down to pick up one of her suitcases, as a simple glance in the living room confirmed her suspicions. Olivia, Michelle, Gina, James and Rick were celebrating something. They all had tall glasses in their hands, except Olivia.
“Helen!” She said with a grin, striding across the room. “Welcome back, honey!” She added, giving her friend a cordial hug. “Why didn’t you call and let us know you were coming?”
“That’s a long story.” Helen sighed, as Olivia slowly leaned back. “I’m sorry about hanging up on you last night.”
“Nah, it’s ok.” Olivia waved her hand in front of her face.
“So, what’s the occasion?” Helen’s question made her friend’s eyes sparkle with excitement.
“I’m pregnant.” Olivia said, her voice calm and steady, as her smile grew even wider.
“That’s great!” Helen cheered, embracing her friend, as her heart leapt with joy. “When did you guys find out?”
“This morning,” Olivia replied. “I was five days late. The pregnancy test came out positive. I went to the gynecologist. She confirmed it. I’m five weeks pregnant.”
“Tell her about your idea,” James urged, making his way towards them.
“We want you to be the godmother.” Olivia’s suggestion couldn’t have come at a better time. Helen was already happy for Olivia and James, but their idea lit up Helen’s face with a broad, happy smile.
“Thank you,” she said in a sweet voice, hugging Olivia once again. “I’d be honored.”
“The honor’s all ours,” James winked at her.
“Bumming hard, guys; bumming hard,” Rick groaned. “I mean, you could have picked me. It would be like the coolest christening ever.”
“Yes, filled with crude comments on the guests’ butts.” Gina’s voice was reeking with sarcasm. “Congratulations, Helen.”
“Thanks, Gina.” Helen gave her a polite nod. “God, I needed that.”
“Has anybody noticed the elephant that is not in the room?” Michelle said in emphatic tones. “Where is Marcus?”
“He couldn’t make it.” The tension returned in Helen’s voice, as she dragged her gaze away from her friend. “Liv, right after you called me yesterday, he noticed we were being watched. We lost them, but, Marcus thinks –and I agree with him—that we’re in grave danger. He went to New York. He wants to try to reconnect with his father.”
“Ok, I’m confused.” Olivia confessed. “If that’s what he wants, then why do you look so upset?”
“Because: they’re the same people who killed Warrick and his wife.” Helen explained, her voice lowering by the second. “Obviously, he was starting to annoy some very important people.”
“Son of a bitch, I knew it!” James’s stentorian voice rumbled like thunder. “I knew there was something off with this.”
“What are you talking about?” Helen got curious.
“I saw a photo of the crime scene online.” James grumbled. “He was lying on his back, with the gun in his left hand. Warrick loved to play golf. He was pretty good at it. His Facebook profile is full pictures of him celebrating. Guess what. He always raised his right fist, not his left. But, there is some good news. His work didn’t go to waste. Peter has detailed backups of his phone records and his interviews with a few marine officers. According to his research, some people know Marcus was innocent. They just won’t testify, because they’re afraid of losing their jobs.”
“Well, that’s good to know, but…” Helen faltered. “I still haven’t heard from Marcus and it’s been almost twenty four hours since we last saw each other. Has he contacted you?”
“No.” James shook his head sideways, once. “I wouldn’t be worried about him, though. He can take care of himself.”
“That’s true.” Olivia agreed. “Come on, have a drink. We’re celebrating tonight.”
“Ok.” Helen said. Although she didn’t share James’s optimism, she could not say “no”. After all, the newlyweds had
done her a great honor. Refusing to celebrate with them was not an option. Helen indulged them, smiling at her friends, but, she was still unable to get Marcus out of her mind. The fact that he had not contacted her yet had added to her anxiety, and, even though she was happy for them, she could not enjoy herself.
I’m sorry, guys. This may be a little too selfish of me, but, I can’t help it. How can I celebrate anything, not knowing just where in the world he is? Nah, forget about it, Helen. They’re having a baby. This is the happiest moment of their lives. They can’t understand and I can’t blame them.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
A few minutes later, Olivia broke the news of Marcus’s fate to her husband. James was devastated. Joining Helen in her room, he cried hard for his friend, but he did something that she didn’t have the heart to do: Question the circumstances of Marcus’s death. Both Helen and Olivia had failed to ask the police anything further about the truck. All they knew was that it had somehow caught fire.
After contacting Captain Boyd though, it became clear to James that there was nothing suspicious concerning the case. According to the police officer, it was a mere accident. The few eye witnesses described that the driver had been speeding and that he had crashed into a light pole. They had also mentioned that the truck’s gas tank exploded very quickly and engulfed it in flames. Indeed, nothing indicated foul play.
By the early morning, David Donovan had identified his son’s body, but that only confirmed what Helen had known from the beginning. Still, for some reason she could not fathom, this piece of information was leaked to the press. In a matter of a few hours, the internet was swamped with reports of a marine who had been considered dead for six years, getting killed in a car accident. And, much to Helen’s annoyance, many reporters called Marcus a “traitor”, “rogue”, or even a “ruthless illegal arms dealer, who got what he deserved.” More than that, due to his past, he would not be given a military funeral. For the government, Marcus was not worthy of one. Unable to believe her eyes, Helen was outraged. In fact, Helen was so angry that she tried calling the webmaster of “Sparkmedia.com”, but Olivia prevented her from doing so, maintaining that the news outlet would probably publish an article on her and humiliate her as well. Leaving Helen’s room, Olivia urged her to not let her pain cloud her judgment, as that could have catastrophic effects, potentially even worse than just an embarrassing article on her.
“I’m with her on this one.” Michelle said, seating herself beside Helen on her bed. “I know you’re hurting, but really, do you think that bitching at them would make you feel any better? Because I don’t.”
“I’ve lost him, Michelle.” Helen sighed, wiping her tears off her face. “My dark angel is gone. Nothing can make me feel any better.”
“Dark angel?” Michelle squinted at her. “You called him that?”
“Yeah,” Helen gave a sad snort. “Why are you asking?”
“Never mind,” Michelle waved her hand in front of her face, tearing her gaze away from her friend.
“What is it?” Helen put a little force in her voice.
“You’ll hate me if I say,” Michelle stated emphatically.
“That’s not possible,” Helen claimed. “Come on. Tell me.”
“Alright;” Michelle drew in a sharp breath, turning to her. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though. There is…” She faltered. “… this really, really great song by Evanescence. It’s called ‘My Heart Is Broken’. It mentions a dark angel and…”
“And?” Helen waited for her answer with bated breath, but Michelle spoke no more. Instead, she reached down and pulled Helen’s laptop closer.
“Again, please don’t hate me for this.” She spoke, her tone low, as she furiously hit the keys. “Here it is.”
A melancholic piano introduction, along with a majestic female voice filled the air, as Michelle pressed the “enter” button, one last time. The first lyrics sent chills down Helen’s spine. She had never been a fan of power chords; yet, in this particular song, they lured her in. Amy Lee’s voice spoke to her soul, as Marcus’s smiling image flashed through her mind. And, when she heard the chorus, she discovered why Michelle had kept her mouth shut. Helen dropped her face into her hands, letting a river of tears pour out of her, as wave after wave of emotion swept over her…
I will wander 'til the end of time, torn away from you I pulled away to face the pain I close my eyes and drift away Over the fear that I will never find A way to heal my soul And I will wander 'til the end of time Torn away from you My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us from sorrow's hold (Over my heart) I can't go on living this way But I can't go back the way I came Chained to this fear that I will never find A way to heal my soul And I will wander 'til the end of time Half alive without you My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us Change - open your eyes to the light I denied it all so long, oh so long Say goodbye, goodbye My heart is broken Release me, I can't hold on Deliver us My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us My heart is broken Sweet sleep, my dark angel Deliver us from sorrow's hold
“How could I have been so stupid?” Michelle whispered, pulling Helen into a side hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Sweet sleep,” Helen sniffled, holding onto her friends arm, as her body shook. “God, I miss him so much…”
“Let it out,” Michelle encouraged, kissing her on the top of her head. “Let it all out.”
“I shouldn’t have told him to go back to New York.” Helen said, her voice broken, as her tears soaked her friend’s skin. “He’d still be alive…”
“… And on the run.” Michelle murmured, “Just like you. Don’t think like that. He did what he had to do to keep you safe.”
“Yeah,” Helen sighed, easing out of Michelle’s embrace. “Look where it’s got him.”
“If you weren’t grieving, you and I would be having a serious argument right now.” Michelle grumbled, stepping out of bed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Helen asked, rolling her gaze up to meet hers.
“You have no right to think like that!” Michelle yelled, pointing down at her. “The man made his choice and that choice was to protect you. Are you telling me he wouldn’t have gone back to New York, if you hadn’t asked him to? Because I don’t believe it. You have no right to feel guilty about this, Helen. You just don’t.”
Upon finishing her rant, Michelle turned on her heel and stormed out of Helen’s room, leaving her puzzled friend feeling even worse.
Nice going, Helen. You’ve managed to anger her. Why? Because she thinks exactly the same thing you told him in that motel room. You said you made your choice. He did as well. You’re right, Michelle. I’m just in too much pain to think straight…
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The group soon packed their things and vacated the hotel. Marcus’s funeral would be held the following day and everybody wanted to bid him farewell. For Helen, these were perhaps the most excruciating hours of her stay. Having to collect clothes she had worn on her dates with him brought back the ugly memory of his tragic death. She remembered every single detail, but, the image that dominated her mind was Marcus, sitting on the saddle of his Harley, as their eyes met across the road. That night, she realized that their fates had been entwined and that was the main reason why she had insisted on dating him so much. At the same time however, Helen discovered that, as much as she would like to revisit Los Angeles one day, it would be impossible. They hadn’t met there, but most of their relationship had unfolded in the city of angels. That’s where Helen had known and loved her own angel.
Helen might have been grieving for Marcus, but Michelle’s outburst in her hotel room had been lingering in her mind as well. Her friend hadn’t been famous for her subtlety. Indeed, Michelle could be very blunt, but that was one of the things that Helen liked most about her. More importantly, though, she was the one who had offered her the job as her personal assistant. Had it not been for her, Helen wouldn’t
have met Marcus at all. She valued her friendship with her and hated it that the two of them had barely exchanged words, until they boarded the plane. Luckily, she, Michelle and Olivia sat in adjacent seats, but she had to wait long enough for the boarding to be completed, as the noise from luggage being loaded and the chattering would make it hard for them to hear each other.
The massive jet engines roared, as they lifted off. Michelle looked out the window on her right, as Helen wrapped her fingers around her wrist.
“I’m sorry about yesterday.” She said in a sweet tone.
“Don’t be.” Michelle attempted a lazy tone, lightly shaking her head. “I told you about that song and I yelled at you. I’m such a catch. I’d hug you, but…” Michelle paused and looked over her headrest. “Mr. Creepy is watching. He’ll start being smart again.”
“Nope,” Rick’s usually happy voice came out drowsy; he even had a sullen look on his face. “Not anymore.”
“This is the part where you explain to them ‘why’.” Gina interjected.
“Death has that effect on you.” Rick explained. “My best friend’s friend just died. Don’t expect me to be all cheerful.”
Helen was intrigued, as a devious smile spread across Michelle’s face. She didn’t address him, though. Instead, she leaned over to Helen and whispered in her ear:
“Great. Now we’ll have two Gina’s. I’ll call him ‘Gick’ from now on.”
Helen gave a short laugh, biting her lower lip, as Michelle winked at her.
“There’s that cute smile again.” She pointed at her. “I was starting to wonder where it had gone.”
“I’m really grateful to you, Michelle.” Helen said in a more mellow tone. “I’ve experienced more in these past three weeks than in my whole life. I’m a little mad at myself for taking money from you. Now that is something I shouldn’t have done.”
