by Sophia Sharp
“The crystal,” I breathed raggedly, “it… did something to me.”
“You tried to draw too much power, didn’t you?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know!”
“What happened?”
“I had to use it. When you put it in my hand, I couldn’t control myself. But when I did… I felt a threat. A danger, coming from it.” My eyes scanned the ground. Not five feet away, was the crystal. I staggered back, pulling Ashley along. I had to get away. It was just an inanimate piece of rock, a lifeless stone, but it stabbed fear right into the hollows of my heart. “I need to get away.”
Ashley nodded. “I understand. I can help you back—”
“No. You go do what you need to. I need to be alone.”
Ashley looked at me, considering my words. After a long moment, she bit her lip and nodded again. “Okay. I hope you find what you need.”
“Thank you.” I pushed myself off her, and found I could now stand on my own. The pain behind my eyes had relegated itself to a mild throbbing – nothing like it had been at first. The colors at the edge of my vision blurred a little, but I ignored that. “Be safe back there.”
“I will,” Ashley confirmed, and disappeared into the forest.
I watched after her for a few moments, to make sure she was gone, and then directed my attention to the crystal. In Ashley’s absence, the crystal’s call became more powerful. It lay there on the ground, beckoning me to come forth and pick it up. I longed for it again.
No! The danger was still there, unidentified. I tore my eyes away from the crystal, and turned stiffly around. I took a step away. The crystal sang out to me, begging to be picked up, enticing me with the promise of power, the feeling of ecstasy. It took all my willpower to drown it out. I took another step away, then one more. Every step was a battle between my will to get away and my desire for the crystal. I plodded onward, forcing myself to take step after step, focusing on just putting one foot in front of the other. I had given in to the weakness before, and I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. As I got farther away, the crystal’s reach started to fade, and it became easier to keep going.
As I topped a hill, I was relieved to see the familiar path stretching from the dorms to the main yard the distance. It was busy. Kids were walking to and from other parts of the island. As I got closer, I found solace in the sounds of the crowd: the noise of moving feet, of laughing voices, and the regular din of conversation. It brought me back to everything that was normal about this place.
I slipped into the stream of students and started toward my dorm. I felt tired again. And very much alone. The people I thought I could trust on this island proved to be nothing but manipulative witches. Every friend I had made – or thought I had made – proved to fall into that very category. Everyone was using me – or trying too – for their own sadistic purposes. I was being stretched thin, and I had nobody to turn to. There was nobody to talk to. Nobody would understand what I was going through. I was sinking into oblivion. I was in a strange place, far away from home, with no friends, no allies, and nobody at all who cared about me. I felt like crying. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and block out the world.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Tracy. There you are.” I jerked around, and my breath caught. It was Rob – also one of those people I didn’t know whether to trust or not. I was now convinced that he had his own motives for ever talking to me. “I must have said your name like five times. You all right?”
No, I wanted to say. No. I feel lost and alone. I don’t know what I’m doing, or what’s going on. Everybody I thought I could trust turned against me. Even you. I wish I had never come here, never heard of Oliver Academy. I just want to go home. Instead, I just shrugged and said, “Sure.”
He must have caught my lie, for his face instantly changed. He looked, of all things, concerned. “Something’s going on, isn’t it?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “Why? And even if something is, why should you care?”
He whistled, and raked a hand through his hair. “If it’s like that, it means something is definitely going on.” He looked around, and I did too. We were in the courtyard in front of the dorms, under shade of a tall evergreen. I must have stalked all the way over here without realizing it. There were other students in the field around us, but none were really paying us any attention. “You want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said stubbornly.
“Come on Tracy, this isn’t like you. You can tell me.”
“You barely even know me! How can you say what is and what isn’t like me?”
He winced as if I had hit him. “That may be true, though not for a lack of effort. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“What? That’s not true,” I lied.
“Yes it is. Ever since I came by your room, you’ve been withdrawn and distant. Every time I tried to catch you after class, you were already gone.”
“So maybe I was,” I said, kicking at the dirt. “What’s it to you?”
“You weren’t like that when I first met you. There’s something different now. It’s not because of me, is it?”
“What?” His self-conscious remark caught me off guard. “No! Of course not.”
He nodded. “Mhm. But something is wrong, isn’t it?”
“Look, Rob,” I started, determined to get him to leave me alone, “I’m sure your intentions are good. But everything’s fine. Really. I just had a rough day – a rough week, actually. And I haven’t been avoiding you, per se, it’s just that I’ve had a lot on my mind. All I really want to do right now is go to my room and take a hot bath.”
He eyed some of the others around us. “Not here, huh?” he asked as if he didn’t even hear what I just said. “Alright. Fine. Let’s go inside.” He swept my hand up in his, and started for the dorm. For a second, I contemplated pulling away. My level of trust in anybody right now was seriously low. I wouldn’t put it past Rob to take advantage of me in my fragile emotional state. But on the other hand, he was the one person who actually seemed real. And he appeared to be genuinely concerned about me. Against my better instinct, I left my hand in his.
He led me toward the row of buildings. But when he turned away toward the senior dorm, a suspicion I had was confirmed. He was older than me. But then, why was he in my science class? He led me into the building, and I followed without saying a word. Just the feel of his hand enveloping mine made me trust him more. The warmth of human contact was something I desperately needed right now.
“Where are we going?” I asked halfway up the stairs. “Your room?”
“I wouldn’t be that cavalier,” he said wryly. “Up, to the very top. There’s a small observatory up there that overlooks the entire island.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
“You need a key to get in there. It’s where I go sometimes to think.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I wouldn’t have pegged Rob as the thinking type. Then again, I had to admit, I was basing nearly everything I knew about him on his appearance.
We went farther up the stairs, passing a lip-locked couple in a hidden corner. My cheeks grew hot when I saw them, but luckily Rob didn’t notice. Or if he did, he pretended to pay no attention. Finally, we reached a door at the top of the stairs. It led to a cramped, musty hallway. The carpet was an ancient, ragged red, and the dust was so thick that I sneezed a few times.
“Don’t worry, the observatory’s much cleaner,” Rob laughed. I jabbed him in the ribs meanly for making fun of me. He avoided my blow deftly. For some reason, I started to laugh – and then sneezed again.
“Over here,” Rob said, still smiling. He motioned to a door at the end of the hall. When I got there, he had already inserted the key into the lock and opened the door.
It was a small, circular room, with a metal ladder hanging down from the middle of the ceiling. There were no windows anywhere, and only the light from the hallway illuminated the space.
“I hope
you’re not scared of the dark,” he said playfully.
“Actually, I—” It was too late. Rob closed the door, shrouding us in complete darkness. Unpleasant memories of the void came back, and more recent ones of the dirty tunnel with Liz rose in my mind. I felt my heartbeat quicken. I couldn’t help it. I felt like I was trapped again, stuck inside a locked chest with no escape. My breathing grew ragged. I tried to will it to even out. But, my body wouldn’t listen.
I heard the shuffle of movement beside me – Rob. I stepped toward him, but ended up hitting my head against the hanging ladder. I cursed and rubbed my forehead.
“Careful!” he said. “Just stay still for a second.” I felt him step around me, and heard him pull himself up the rungs. There came a creak, followed by a scratching noise, and then light flooded down from the ceiling. Beautiful, precious light. I looked up, and saw that he had pushed open a hatch in the ceiling.
“Need a hand?” he asked, nodding to the ladder.
“I can manage,” I said, ignoring his offer. ”Thanks.” I gripped the cold metal rungs, which were somewhat slippery, and climbed up.
“So,” he said when I reached him, “what do you think?”
I looked around. The space above was maybe three times the size of the room below. The walls were made of glass, surrounding us like a capsule, and stretched to meet overhead in a fine point. The sun shone brightly in the distance, casting its light right onto us. When I stood up, I could see the island in all directions. I could see the water in the distance, and the great pines of the forest on the other side, some of which loomed high over us. I could see all the buildings of the main yard. It looked tiny from where we were. I could see everybody in the courtyard down below. The students looked like ants marching along the path to and from the dorms.
“It’s wonderful,” I said. There were two couches arranged in an L-shape off to one side, and a rug spread out between them. Unlike the hallway underneath, the entire room was clean.
“It helps me get a perspective on things sometimes,” Rob told me, taking a seat on the sofa, “to be able to look over the whole island like that.”
“I can imagine. Do you bring a lot of people up here?”
“You’d be the first,” he smiled. I felt my heart flutter a little. I was sure Rob had a hundred different girls madly in love with him. Yet, for some reason, he had chosen me. I came over and sat down on the other couch.
“So tell me,” he said. “What’s going on?” He leaned forward like he was actually interested. Maybe he was? I felt so betrayed by Liz earlier today that I had started to suspect the worst of everyone. Perhaps Rob was different? The way he sat there, giving me enough space to be comfortable, was very considerate. And he wasn’t blindly coming onto me. Had I hoped he would? a sly voice asked.
“Where do I begin?” I started.
“Let me guess,” he interjected. “It’s Liz and the others. Right?”
I let out a small surprised gasp. “How did you know?”
“Come on Tracy, I’m not that dumb. I’ve known the girls since we all got here two years ago. I know what they’re like.”
“Wait, you came here only two years ago? Then what are you doing in the senior dorm?”
“I skipped a grade,” he said, disinterestedly. He must have seen the surprise on my face, because he laughed. “What? I don’t seem like the studious type to you?”
“No, I— I mean, maybe… maybe your appearance threw me off a little.”
“My appearance?” He looked down at himself, stretching his arms out and examining them carefully. With every turn of the wrist, the muscles on his forearm danced, further proving my point. He looked like an athlete, a total jock, and not – in any sense of the word – an intellect. I was now realizing I had him pegged totally wrong. “What about my appearance?” There was an amused glimmer in his eye.
“It’s just…” I stammered. “Never mind.”
He looked at me seriously for a few moments, and then broke out laughing. “You don’t have to tell me. I know exactly what you mean.”
“You do?”
“Sure. You think I don’t realize how everyone else sees me? I’m not blind, either.”
“I didn’t say that…”
“No, no! It’s fine. That’s not what I meant. This isn’t about me, anyway. I didn’t bring you up here to talk about me. Something’s bothering you, Tracy, and it has to do with Liz and all her friends. Right? So tell me. What did they do to you?”
“It’s… probably nothing,” I said. My mind worked fast. Could I tell Rob about the crystals? But then I remembered my oath. Would I be able to tell him, even if I wanted to? I felt no allegiance to Liz anymore, so I didn’t have any moral qualms about breaking my promise to her – not after what she did to me! But, I had sworn to secrecy on the crystal after all. And before, just thinking about breaking my oath had left me faint and light-headed. Then again, what was the worst that could happen? I decided to give it a try. “I—”
I felt a sudden flash of heat. It came from my belly, and swept out over the rest of my body. My breath caught. It came and went, came and went, and then disappeared. Like a warning. Because of the oath? I decided to try again.
“What happened is—”
Again the flash of heat. But, this time it came with a tightening of the skin, like I was being shrink-wrapped. I tried to speak, but my voice wouldn’t work. It was definitely because of the oath. And there was no way I could fight it. It was as if the promise had embedded itself onto me through the crystal. Breaking it would be like tearing out a part of myself. It was impossible.
“Yes?” Rob prodded gently. “What is it?”
“It’s— nothing.” Try as I would, I couldn’t work past the constraints of the oath. I couldn’t tell Rob anything. I felt hopeless again – and more lost than before.
“Come on,” he coaxed. “Something’s going on. I can see it on your face. You want to tell me. You can trust me, Tracy. I won’t share your secrets.”
“You’re right. I want to. I just… can’t.”
“All right. Fine. I won’t push you.” He leaned back slightly. “But my guess about it having to do with Liz and the girls was right, wasn’t it?”
I nodded.
“Some of them can be pretty overwhelming at times,” he said slowly, as if testing the boundaries of what I would tell him. “I can talk to them, if you want me to.”
“No!”
He looked shocked. “I was just saying…”
“I mean, I don’t want you to,” I said, more gently this time. “It’s something I have to do on my own.”
“If you say so,” he replied. But he didn’t look convinced.
“Trust me,” I said, in what I hoped could be taken as a reassuring tone. “I can deal with them if I have to.” Secretly, I hoped to avoid dealing with them altogether.
“But there’s something more, isn’t there?” Rob asked. “Something else on your mind? Not to do with them? At least, maybe not directly?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “But I… I can’t tell you about it either.”
“It’s always good to have someone to talk to about things.”
“I know, and I wish I could. I just… can’t.” I really did wish I could. If it wasn’t for that blasted oath, things would be so much easier.
“All right,” he agreed. “I won’t press you.” He tilted his head toward me. “So then, what can you talk about?”
“I don’t know,” I replied softly. Whatever I did want to talk about, I couldn’t. Everything that was important to me was locked up behind the seal of the oath. I wanted to tell Rob about everything, to pour my heart out to him, but I just couldn’t. I wished desperately there was some way to change that.
Then I realized something. Even though I couldn’t talk directly about Liz and the crystals, what if Rob were the one to reach a conclusion himself? Could I guide him there, without activating the restrictions of the oath? Perhaps I could bypass them that way?
>
“I can’t help if you don’t tell me anything, Tracy.”
“I know,” I answered. After a moment’s pause, I decided to give it a try. “What if,” I started obliquely, “there was somebody you knew… who you thought you could trust… but then, they turned out not to be the person you thought them to be after all?”
Rob leaned in toward me, a knowing gaze on his face. “Well, I would have to change my opinion of such a person, in that case.”
“But, what if that wasn’t possible? What if you knew, deep down, that you were bound to them, no matter how much you didn’t want it? No matter what you did, no matter how much you wanted to, you… couldn’t… force yourself to get away?”
“That’s some heavy stuff,” he exhaled. “Well, in that case, I think the best thing for you to do, first, is to realize you don’t have to face it on your own.” He smiled. “There will always be people around who can help. And… if you were stuck with a person like that, you would have to be more careful around them. At least you would now be aware of their… deficiencies. And you could adjust how you treated them, what you share with them, and what you don’t. At least this way, you have the advantage of knowing you can’t trust the person anymore. That’s better than if you continued thinking you could, and then find that trust betrayed.”
I was impressed. That was actually some pretty good advice. “That’s a good perspective on things.”
He shrugged. “I do okay, sometimes.”
“What if there was a danger involved,” I said slowly, testing the boundaries of the oath. “One that you couldn’t quite place, but that you were certain was there anyway. What if you didn’t actually know the scope of the danger—because it was hidden? But you’re sure it’s there, lurking in the background.”
“What type of danger are we talking about?” he said seriously.
“It’s—” I felt the tightening around my body again, preventing me from speaking directly about it. “I – I can’t say,” I staggered.
“Tracy, if there’s something serious going on, you shouldn’t hide it. I can help.”
