by Sophia Sharp
“Paige.”
“Paige!” he exclaims, as if my name is the most important thing in the world. He spreads his arms wide. “Welcome to Sigma Pi, Paige!”
His welcome is echoed by the others.
“Paige!”
“Welcome, Paige!”
“Spencer’s girl!”
Derek hops off the couch and runs over. He headlocks Spencer and jostles with him playfully. Both are laughing when they separate.
Derek winks at me. “Sorry if we spooked ya. Just had to make sure you were cool, that’s all.”
I notice Spencer smiling proudly behind Derek. “Did I pass?” I ask innocently.
Derek laughs. “Hell yeah, girl! We’ve only got one real rule here.” He turns around. “Boys?”
“NO BITCHES ON THE WEEKEND!” they cry out in unison, laughing and slapping each other on the back.
I can’t help but laugh at their exuberance. I’ve never seen so much joviality in a group of men.
Spencer slides his arm around my waist. “Let’s go somewhere quieter,” he whispers. To everyone else, he says, “I’ve got to show Paige the rest of the tour, guys.”
“What? You’re taking her already?” A short-ish guy with a great smile complains. “We’ve only just met. Don’t be greedy, dude!”
“Yeah, come on,” a guy holding one of the controllers pipes up. “We’ve had piss all for eye candy today. The only other girls we’ve seen were Collin’s sisters, and they’re both bust-ed!”
“Shut up, asshole,” the guy next to him—Collin?—defends. “They look better than anyone you’ve hooked up with, and at least my mom doesn’t post nudes of herself online.”
The group explodes into raucous laughter. The guy holding the controller turns beet-red.
“Come on,” Spencer pulls me away. “I think you’ve had enough of my frat brothers for one day.”
Derek flashes an apologetic smile at me as Spencer leads me up the stairs.
The second floor, in comparison, is blissfully quiet. The stairs open to a long hall filled with many closed doors. We pass the first, and I hear a faint, rhythmic thump-thump-thump.
A few seconds later, a girl’s shrill moan sounds from behind that door.
Spencer chuckles. “This place is a zoo,” he says. He opens the grand doors at the end of the hall and gestures me in.
I step through and do a double take. This bedroom is nothing like the rest of the house.
It’s clean, for one. The queen bed in the center of the room is done up with crisp white sheets. Bookshelves run around the outside walls. They are stacked with books of every size and color. The one window in the room is enormous, giving an awesome view of the back yard. There’s a skylight above the bed that lets in plenty of light.
Spencer closes the door and twists the knob to lock it. “What do you think?” he asks.
“This is your room?”
He shrugs. “More like my library. The first year I was in the frat, I brought so many books here the guys threatened to make a bonfire out of ‘em. They said I have no need for all of them.” He pauses and looks at the shelves. “I made them a bet. I told them that if I could get through what I brought before summer, they had to give me the biggest room in Sigma Pi. Permanently.” He laughs. “It wasn’t even close. I finished them by winter break. This room has been mine ever since.”
“All of these books?” I ask, amazed.
He laughs again. “No. I didn’t have so many back then. A third, maybe?”
“A third,” I whisper, looking around. There are so many. “How did you do it?”
“I speed read,” he shrugs. “I taught myself as a kid. Most people can read about three hundred words per minute with full comprehension. I can do nine.”
“Wow,” I mutter. “So you’re like, some type of prodigy? How many hidden talents do you have, Spencer?”
His eyes shine. “There’s one you haven’t seen yet.”
My cheeks warm when I realize what he means. He laughs.
“So!” Spencer announces, sitting on the bed. He motions for me to join him. I do. “What was the big emergency that you called me? You sounded pretty distraught.”
I shy back. “No I didn’t.”
“Paige.” Spencer lowers his head to look at me. “I can tell you’re upset.”
I whip my head to the other side, away from him.
“It’s okay,” Spencer assures me gently. He reaches out and puts his hand over mine. He’s warm.
Somehow, that simple gesture steadies me. I bite my lip and slowly turn toward him. His eyes are kind. Understanding.
“It’s okay, kitten,” Spencer repeats, his voice low. “Did something happen with Katy last night after I left? You can tell me. I want you to have the freedom to trust me. But,” he pauses, “I won’t push anything on you.”
I smile and look down. “Thank you, Spencer,” I say softly. “That means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad that you felt you could come to me,” he says. He turns his entire body toward me, sitting cross-legged on the bed. “That means a lot to me.”
I smile at him and chew the inside of my cheek, stalling for time. I do trust Spencer, for what it’s worth. And even though I came here because of my problems, now that I’m with him… I don’t want to talk about Andrew. I don’t want a heavy discussion to ruin the mood between us.
Not yet. Right now, all I want is a distraction.
My eyes roam Spencer’s face. Over his nose, the curve of his lips, the faint stubble on his jaw. That electricity that has always been between us is there now. It’s subdued, and somehow more honest. But, I can feel it radiating from his touch.
“You’re very quiet, kitten,” Spencer says. The words come in a single breath, just inches from my face.
When did he get so close?
I realize that I’m leaning forward so that our noses are almost touching. Any farther, and I think I’ll tip over.
My lips part slightly. I can feel Spencer’s warm breath on my face. Is this what I really came here for? To feel comforted? To do… this?
Without thinking, I press my lips to his. Tension oozes out of my body. I close my eyes and let myself be consumed by the connection.
It’s a slow kiss. Unrushed. Warmth floods into me. I don’t feel so alone anymore.
Spencer takes his time exploring my mouth. His tongue strokes my upper lip, sweet and gentle. I push him back and go on all fours above him. His head hits the pillow. His hands start moving up and down my arms, leaving hot paths of enflamed skin in their wake.
The first brush of our lips was about comfort. Now, arousal is starting to take comfort’s place. I can feel it rising in my core, heating the space between my legs.
I steady myself on Spencer’s shoulders and deepen the kiss.
My tongue slides into his mouth. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes below me. I’ve never kissed anyone like this before. This is sweet, but oh-so-hot.
My hips start gyrating back and forth of their own accord. My hands start moving up and down his delicious, hard body. The memory of him in bed flashes in my mind.
That spurs me on even more. I press my body against Spencer’s and kiss him more fervently.
“Whoa, whoa,” he mutters, easing me away. “Slow down there, sweetheart. You’re getting me excited.”
I feel the growing bulge beneath Spencer’s sweats and shoot him a devilish smile. “Isn’t that the point?” I purr.
Spencer smiles back at me. I feel greedy, so I bend down to resume our kiss.
He stops me before I can get there.
“What are you doing?” I ask, taking a deep breath to fill my lungs with his delectable scent. “Don’t you want this?”
“I do,” Spencer agrees. His thumb trails over my cheek, clipping the corner of my mouth. A shiver of pleasure runs down my spine. “But not like this.”
I sit up, my back going very straight. Is this going to happen every time I try to seduce him?
>
“What do you mean, ‘not like this’?” I demand.
Spencer picks up my hands and brings them to his lips. He kisses my knuckles. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, Paige.”
“Take advantage of me,” I repeat flatly. “This sounds a lot like the conversation we had in your shop. I can assure you, you’re not taking advantage of me. I want you.” My nerves raise my voice an octave.
Spencer smiles and shakes his head. “It isn’t the right time. Not now.”
I groan and roll my eyes. “Spencer, I’m not drunk. I know what I’m doing!” I lean forward to try kissing him again.
Again, he stops me inches from his face. “You are very persistent,” he muses, looking deep into my eyes.
“And you’re being a bad partner,” I complain. “Why are you so skittish?” I can hardly believe I just called him that, but the role reversal’s thrown me off. Usually, that pointed finger would be aimed at me.
“‘Skittish.’” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m skittish because you’re not acting like yourself. I don’t want to stop, Paige. But I don’t want to prey on your vulnerability, either.
“Now,” he turns over and drops me to the side, “tell me why you really called me this morning. You sounded upset.”
“I’m upset because you keep thwarting my efforts!”
“Nope.” He clicks his tongue. “Nice try, but I know something happened before you called me. What was it?”
I pause. How does he know? Am I really that transparent?
I’m sure he senses my hesitation, because he puts an arm around my waist and pulls me close. “You can tell me,” he whispers in my ear. “I want nothing more than for you to trust me. Anything we do…” his hand traces circles over my hipbone, “…will be meaningless if I don’t have that.”
He tucks my chin up so I look in his eyes. “And you are far from meaningless to me, Paige.”
There he goes again with those heart-melting words. It’s not fair for Spencer to have such a sweet and caring side. It would have been much easier if, in private, he stuck to the same rah-rah-look-at-me persona he displays in public.
He starts stroking my hair. “Tell me,” he whispers. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
I shiver. “I can’t.”
He places his chin over my head. I fit perfectly under the curve of his neck. “I want to help.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Do I dare tell him what happened with Andrew? Can I trust him not to overreact?
Andrew kissed me. But that isn’t what is bothering me most. I finally figured out that I want Spencer… without reserve, without hesitation, I want Spencer. But a part of me is still afraid.
What if I’m not as ready as I think I am? What if I’m not enough for him? When we were kissing, I could forget my fears. Now, my conscious mind is babbling.
I decide to draw focus to a more neutral subject that’s also bothering me.
“Katy’s moving out,” I blurt. “She’ll be gone Monday. She’s leaving for the year.”
“Hmm,” Spencer intones. “Is it because of what happened with the accident?”
“Yes. Her family found out. They want her home.”
“It’ll be good for her,” Spencer says. “It might give her some perspective. What do you think?”
“I think…” I trail off and sigh. “I think you’re right. But I’m going to miss her. A lot.”
“Of course you are,” Spencer murmurs. “But it’s not like she’s gone for good, right? She’ll come back next year. And you two can keep in touch.”
“That’s what everybody says,” I mumble. I feel the hot sting of tears behind my eyes. “But friendships fade. People change. They take different paths. I’m afraid of that happening to us.”
“She’s your best friend, isn’t she?” Spencer asks.
“Yes.”
“Well, if your friendship is as strong as I think it is, then you have nothing to worry about.” Spencer scoots up to sit straighter against the headboard. “I also know Kate’s pretty damn loyal. She won’t forget you.”
“But what if I need her now? Not next year?” I sulk. “How am I supposed to finish this year alone?”
“Kitten, you are anything but alone,” Spencer tells me. “There are people around who care. More than they probably should.” He touches my face again. “More than they have any right to.”
I hide a smile as I snuggle into him. “Like who?”
He chuckles. I can feel the rumble in his chest. “Just… people,” he says. “Who knows? Maybe they’re closer than you think.”
I turn my head to look at him. “Spencer?”
“Yes?” he smiles.
“You…” I hesitate. “You… won’t leave me, will you?”
His answer comes when he wraps his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug and brings me into him.
“No,” he whispers into my hair. “No, Paige. I don’t think I will.”
We sit like that, unmoving and quiet, for what seems like a long time. In truth, I bet it’s less than a minute. But I enjoy the feeling I get when he holds me like this. There is no fear. I don’t second-guess myself. I feel free to be who I am.
It’s so liberating.
How did it come to this? How did I start to fall for the one guy I once thought was the worst thing for me?
It all began with his song last night—No. It began before that.
It began the moment we locked eyes in my bedroom, while he was balls-deep in my roommate.
The thought amuses me. It’s funny how things go. Andrew, the boy I thought was made for me, turned out to be all wrong. And Spencer—Spencer, the man with a list of conquests as long as Casanova’s!—turned out to be everything I dream of.
Things aren’t perfect, of course. Far from it. For one, how can I know that Spencer’s any different now than he was before we met? Just because I haven’t seen him with other girls since the hospital stay doesn’t mean there haven’t been any. There’s also the issue of time. We haven’t spent more than a week together.
Can he commit to a real relationship? Can he become monogamous for me?
My heart tells me, “yes”. But my mind harbors doubts. I know how quickly people can revert to who they really are. And who is Spencer, really? Is he the happy-go-lucky playboy who penned the song I heard downstairs? Or is he the sweet and tender guy he’s been around me?
I sit up and face him. “I want to ask you something,” I say. “You have to promise me to answer truthfully.”
Spencer shifts into a less comfortable, more serious position. “Okay. I’d never lie to you.”
I nod. “I believe you.” I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. “Here’s my question. Why me?”
I expect him to laugh and shrug it off. I expect him to chide me for asking something so silly.
He does neither of those things. He stares deep into my eyes, and speaks from the soul. “When I first saw you, Paige, you were just another pretty face.”
I grunt. At least he’s honest.
“But my real interest sparked when I caught you in the bathroom after,” he continues. “You remember that?”
“How can I forget?”
He smiles. “I was fascinated by your reaction to me. I think I told you as much. Some girls get jumpy, yes. Some try to hide the fact that they’re attracted to me. Many do it by putting on an indifferent front. But your reaction was… so… different.”
He rolls his shoulders and looks past me. “It was pure. I’ve never come across anything like it. I felt the connection—the spark?—between us right away. I know you felt it, too. But you denied it.
“That was at the start. A few days later, I saw you with Andrew. I don’t think you noticed me. I’m not beyond admitting that that made me want you more. If you were his—I wanted to steal you. Just to piss him off.”
“So I was a plaything to you?” I question, feeling more repulsed with his every word. “Just a prop to help you
get at Andrew?”
Spencer smiles and takes my hand. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let go. “At first, yes. Remember, you wouldn’t let me get within ten feet of you without turning your nose up at me. I didn’t know anything about you except that you were pretty, and you were Andrew’s.”
“I was never Andrew’s…” I begin.
“Hold on.” Spencer cuts me off. “You asked me for the truth, didn’t you? This is it. Yes, at first my interest was superficial. When I invited you to the frat party the first week on campus, my only intention was to get you to bed.”
“Smooth, Spencer,” I grumble. “You know, when a girl asks for the truth, sometimes it’s better to lie.”
He tightens his grip on my hand. “I’m not like that. I give what you ask. The night of the party, when I saw you leave, and I found you in your dorm, and we kissed… something changed in me. A strange, unfamiliar feeling crept into my heart. I could have fucked you on the couch that night. You know that. But your body’s reaction to me was so innocent, so pure, that I knew… something was different.
“You have to understand, Paige,” Spencer continues, “that I’ve never turned down a willing girl before. I always push through the initial token resistance. If they get angry, so what? At least I go home knowing I gave it my all. Nine times out of ten, that first bit of resistance is feigned, anyway. No girl wants to look like a slut, and all that.”
My stomach clenches up. That sounds monstrous. A girl should only have to say “no” once to mean it, right?
Then again, it’s not like I have much experience in the college hook-up scene.
Spencer notices my discomfort. “Don’t worry,” he assures me. “I’ve never forced a girl to do anything against her will. That’s the cut-off point. But think back to that night in your room. Remember the heat you felt when we kissed. It torched through your body, didn’t it? You wanted me. Your protective instincts may have told you that it was wrong, that it was too early… but had I pushed, you would have given in to your baser desire.”
I’m scared of how right I think he is. “But you didn’t push,” I whisper. “Why?”
“Because you were different, Paige.” Spencer moves close to me and lowers his voice. “You dressed the part that night, but you were not like one of those sorority bimbos. You were sweet and innocent, and somehow—I felt—that all your life, you’ve sheltered yourself from the world.”
