by Sophia Sharp
“Is she… I mean, she’s not…” I can’t finish the sentence without choking up. Dead?
“She’s alive,” Rich says. “Thank God for that. She’s still alive. And her condition’s stable, but her injuries…” He trails off, looking away.
I force myself up, fighting through the screaming pain that fills me. I reach out and place a hand on Rich’s shoulder. He tilts his head toward it, then rubs his warm cheek over my fingers. “Tell me,” I ask him gently.
Rich picks up my hand with both of his. He turns to face me. I can see the despair and overwhelming guilt reflected in his eyes. He does not say anything for a long time. He just looks at me, maybe even through me. I’ve never seen him so lost.
“Whatever happened, it can’t be your fault,” I tell him. I know he needs me now. Even if I don’t have any strength left, I can fake it. For him. “Now, tell me about Min’s injuries.”
“A concussion,” Rich begins. “Three broken ribs. One punctured lung. Two cracked vertebrae in her neck. A shattered hip bone. All three bones broken in her right arm. Some internal bleeding, but it’s subsided. Various cuts and lacerations, the worst of which goes across her stomach for a good six inches. They’ve got it stitched up.” He recites the list with absolutely no emotion in his voice. He sounds exactly the way he looks. Empty.
I know it’s his way of coping. If he lets himself feel, the pain will be too much.
“Where is she?” I ask him softly.
“They’re still monitoring her in the ICU. They won’t let me near. I haven’t seen her yet.”
“Oh, Rich…”
“Don’t tell me it’s not my fault,” he barks. “Don’t, Penny!”
“I wasn’t about to—”
“Don’t you get it?” he continues over top of me. “I promised I’d take care of her. I failed. I…”
He slams a fist against the arm rest. His tears are gone. Only stark anger remains. “I could not be the brother she needed. I chastised her for living her life, and then I failed her again. Time and time again, I fail her. I wasn’t there when she broke up with Joey. I wasn’t there when she gave birth. I wasn’t there when our father got thrown in jail. And this time, it’s the fucking worst. I’m the one who caused her injuries. If it wasn’t for me—”
“Rich, that’s ridiculous!” I interrupt. “Being worried about her is one thing, but blaming yourself like this is entirely another. It’s nobody’s fault except the other driver’s!”
“Oh, yeah?” Rich counters, his eyes blazing. “Think about it, Penny. If I hadn’t gotten mad in the restaurant, we wouldn’t have left early. The driver wouldn’t have been behind us. There’d be no accident!”
“And, if I stayed with her longer in the restroom, we would have been delayed, too,” I rationalize. “I’m terrified for her, Rich. But, I’m not blaming myself for it! You can’t live with regret, always asking yourself, ‘What if?’”
“No,” Rich says. “Everything about this is my fault. Do you know why Min is in the worst shape of all three of us? Because she sat in the spot of direct impact from the other car. It totaled the right-hand passenger door. Ask yourself: Would anybody have sat there if it weren’t for me? No. Min climbed in the back first, behind the driver’s seat! If I hadn’t been angry, you would have sat up front with me. We would have all escaped with relatively minor injuries. Now, my sister is going through hell in some fucking room I can’t even get into!”
My eyes widen with realization. What Rich said just cast a new light on things. Except, he’s not the guilty party.
I am.
“Oh my God,” I whisper. A sick feeling forms in my gut. I feel like I’m about to hurl. “You’re right. If I sat up front with you, Min wouldn’t have… I mean, she still would…” I swallow a sob. “It’s my fault!”
“What?” Rich’s eyes snap to me. “Don’t be stupid. It all started with me.”
“She trusted me. She told me the story about Joey. Oh my God, what have I done?” The next sob comes out as a hiccup. I hate it when I cry. But, the accumulation of stress, my injuries, and the news about Min is too much. I feel tears falling before I can stop them. Sharp pain jolts through my body as I struggle to contain myself.
It’s no use. I’m too weak to fight my emotions. If I’m in this much discomfort with one cracked rib, how bad must Min be feeling right now? Oh, God…
“Penny, stop it. Stop crying.” Irritation seeps into Rich’s voice, even if I do hear his concern. “Dammit, Penelope! I won’t have you berating yourself for something that wasn’t your fault!”
“I… I can’t. I can’t stop.” I want to laugh at how pathetic I sound. But that feeling is overshadowed by my guilt, my blame, my worry over Min. I turn away from Rich. I hate him seeing me like this. Right now, I am not the person he fell in love with.
I hardly recognize myself, or the way I’m reacting. Strength and perseverance have been my two guiding words through life. Now, all that has left me. It’s fallen by the wayside over my concern for a friend.
“I’m not going to have you uncomfortable with me, either,” Rich mutters. I feel the bed shift, and the next thing I know Rich is right there beside me.
We’re squished together on the tiny mattress. He puts an arm over my shoulder and gently steers me toward him. I melt against his hard body and bury my face in his chest. I let the tears come. The guilt eats away at me. I feel worse than useless. I hate the way I’m acting. My friend is probably fighting for her life in this damn hospital, and all I can do is feel sorry for myself?
“Penny.” Rich’s finger guides my chin up. I meet his eyes. They’re dark, clouded, and impossible to read. “Listen to me. I’m the one who put this stupid idea in your head. I shouldn’t have said anything. It just burst out of me. But I will not have you feeling guilty about something over which you had no control.”
“Hypocrite,” I accuse him.
Rich manages a weak smile. “Maybe. But I’m allowed to feel guilty. It fuels my anger at the rat-bastard who rammed us. It makes me more determined to find him. But you,” he wipes a tear away with the pad of his thumb, “only get sad. And I can’t stand to see you like that—especially when it’s completely unwarranted.”
“Unwarranted? What do you mean? You said it yourself. If I sat up front—”
Rich silence me by pressing a finger to my lips. “Stop it, Penny. No, it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you’re allowed to feel sad, but not over that. You said it, remember? No regret.”
“But—”
“No ‘buts’, either.” Rich lets me settle into the crook of his arm. “Min needs your strength right now. I will lend her all I can, but her recovery is going to be long and grueling. She needs both of us.”
I nod. “You’re right.” Deep down, I know we will get through this. The difference lies in what path we take. I don’t have much strength right now, but I can rely on Rich’s. He can be my bastion.
I don’t want to wallow in self-pity. I want to own up to my mistake and do all I can for Min to correct it.
Something else Rich said sticks in my mind. “They don’t know who hit us?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No. The coward hit and run. The cops say they’re looking for him, but an accident like this is a tiny blip on their radar. For me, however, there’s no question. I will find the person responsible. I will make him pay.”
Make him pay. The way Rich says that, almost like a vendetta, worries me. “Just don’t do anything without consulting with me first.”
Rich smiles into my hair. “Of course.”
I push against his chest to look into his eyes. “Rich, I’m serious. I don’t want you to do anything you’d want to take back later. I don’t want you in jail. Don’t do anything Min wouldn’t approve of.”
“Min… would want me to find the person responsible.”
“Maybe eventually. Right now, I’m sure she’d prefer to have you with her.” I think back to her story about Joey. “You and I are all she has.”<
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Rich squeezes my hand. “I promise. I won’t let either of you down.”
Chapter Thirteen
The nurse comes and does her rounds, checking on all my vitals and asking me how I’m feeling. I tell her that aside from the blistering headache induced by the lights and the constant reminder my ribs give me of their condition every time I move, I’m just fine.
She ignores my snarkiness and adds some pain medication to my IV. When she returns fifteen minutes later, I feel much mellower.
Rich asks the nurse about Min. She says nothing’s changed. Once Min is released from the ICU, we’ll be informed. I see the tension build in Rich’s neck as he’s forced to sit and wait.
I wonder if he’s getting shades of Cody all over again: sitting here, waiting, and feeling utterly helpless.
I don’t bring it up.
A clock on the far wall tells me it’s nearly 2 a.m. I don’t want to sleep—not when the doctor can come at any minute and tell us we can see Min. Still, I can’t keep my eyes from drifting shut. Sleep beckons. The promise of fading away to a place where my body does not hurt wins out. I close my eyes and fall into a slumber.
--
A baritone, male voice pulls me from my sleep. “Mr. Blackthorne? Your sister has been moved from ICU. You may see her now.”
I open my eyes to find a handsome young doctor holding the curtain back at the foot of my bed. He has piercing blue eyes and lush, black hair.
I catch myself thinking those thoughts and chastise myself. Rich is right there! It must be the painkillers.
Rich’s head pops up where it had been slumped against his chest. He’d fallen asleep, too. I glance at the clock—and am gripped by alarm. It’s half past ten! How did I sleep so long? How could Min have been there for so long?
“Thanks, doc.” Rich pushes himself up, then grimaces when he puts weight on his broken foot. “Shit, I forgot about this.” He addresses the doctor, “Do you have any crutches I can use?”
“I’ll ask one of the nurses to get some for you,” the doctor replies, disappearing behind the curtain.
Rich looks at me. “How’re you feeling?”
“Sore, but better.” The numb feeling in my left arm is gone. So is the IV. “You?” I ask.
“Better, too,” Rich says in a kind of distracted way. I can tell his mind is on Min.
“She’ll be fine,” I promise him. He nods absently. “She’s stronger than you think. She told me about Joey—”
Rich makes a disgusted sound in his throat. “Please, Penny, don’t bring him up now.”
“No, I think you should hear this.” Rich only knows half the story. Even though it might not be my place to tell Min’s secret, I don’t want the misunderstanding to darken the relationship between the two of them. Especially now. “She told me Joey didn’t abandon her. He was forced to leave by his father, who sent him to military school. All the letters he sent Min were intercepted. His father is the one at fault for his disappearance.”
Rich looks at me in disbelief. “That doesn’t excuse—”
“Listen,” I emphasize. “Min was in a bad place after Grace passed away. Joey had no idea. He found her after. She told me he was the one who saved her from a path of self-destruction.”
Rich’s features soften. I can tell he’s struggling with this new information. Finally, he whispers, “She named her daughter?”
I smile. “Yes. And she and Joey love each other. Back in Oregon, she told me how she had to leave without a word because she did not want him threatened by the people chasing her. That story was what made me understand, really understand, why I needed to stay with you.”
Rich shakes his head. “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth…”
“Of course I am,” I snap. “Why would I lie?”
“I need to hear it from her. I want to believe you. But you don’t know how much I detest Joey for what he did. Maybe if she explains it…” Rich trails off. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
A nurse comes in to give Rich a pair of crutches. He stands up and looks at me. “Are you coming?”
“Are you kidding?” I sit up with a grunt and swing my legs out of bed. A small wave of light-headedness makes me blink. I lean my hand against the mattress to get my bearings.
Rich is beside me in an instant. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just a little dizzy.” I plant my feet on the ground and stand. My knees feel wobbly, probably from all the drugs remaining in my body.
I take a small step forward, then another one, then one more. This whole walking thing is harder than you’d expected when you’re forced to keep your ribs as still as possible.
The young doctor returns. By his expression, I can tell he’s displeased to see me out of bed. He doesn’t say anything, though. Instead, he offers me the wheelchair. “Would you like to sit?”
“I’d prefer to walk, thanks.” My statement makes Rich smile. In turn, that makes me happy.
The doctor doesn’t protest. “If you’ll follow me?” He leads us through the halls. I hold onto Rich’s elbow for support.
We pass through a ward with many empty beds. Finally, the doctor stops before a closed door. He addresses Rich. “Your sister’s condition is delicate. Right now, she needs her body to rest and repair itself. We’ve done all we can. She will make a full recovery, but it will take time.” He stresses the word. “If she is still asleep, don’t wake her. The more rest she gets, the better.”
“I understand,” Rich agrees.
“All right,” the doctor nods. He opens the door and lets us through.
The scene is both serene and ghastly. A hospital bed sits against the far wall. The morning sun shines through an open window, bathing the covers. They’re white and freshly pressed. Min is lying under them with her eyes closed. If I could only see her face, I would have no concern.
It’s everything else that scares me. She’s hooked up to the same machines that were around me. A needle in her hand is connected to a long, plastic tube that extends from the IV drip. Two smaller, clear tubes run into her nose, providing her with oxygen. A plastic cuff surrounds her arm, linked to a display that shows her pulse and blood pressure. A neck brace holds her head in place. Her other arm is in a white cast, suspended by a sling from the ceiling. Her complexion is pale. Her breathing, though steady, sounds short and raspy to me.
I can’t stop the overwhelming feeling of guilt from rising up again. This is my fault. No matter what I told Rich, I know, deep down, that I am responsible. I want to rush to her side and tell her how sorry I am. I want to beg for forgiveness.
Instead, I remain stoic and let Rich in first. The pain that I see on his face breaks my heart. He looks crestfallen, defeated, and almost broken. He grips the railing as he comes to the side of the bed and looks at his sister. His knuckles whiten.
As I near him, I hear a soft growl come from his throat. “I will find the bastard who did this.” He speaks so softly that at first I think it’s just my imagination. “I will find him and make him pay. This I promise you.”
“Rich…” I put my hand over his. Immediately, I feel the stress beating through his body. I mean my touch to be comforting, but he pulls away. He looks at me with a dark, determined gaze.
“You stay here,” he says. “She needs one of us around. In case she wakes. But I can’t see her like this. It kills me, Penny. I can’t…” he looks around the room and gestures at the four walls, “…be here any longer. It feels like a prison. I need to go. To think. To get my head straight.” He kisses my forehead. “You watch over her while I’m gone.”
I grab his hand before he can walk away. “Where are you going?”
“To the police. I need to know what they know.”
“Your leg—”
“I’ll get a boot. Dammit, Penny, don’t try to stop me. It’s hard enough that I have to worry about Min.”
“I’m not trying to stop you. Just remember the promise you made.”
“
I will,” he assures me. He starts to hug me, then, remembering my injury, rubs my arm instead. “Don’t worry. I’ll return as soon as I know more. Keep Min safe for me.”
“I swear,” I whisper as I watch him go.
It’s the same promise I made his sister once before.
Chapter Fourteen
The hours slowly drag by. Min hasn’t stirred. A nurse comes in every ninety minutes to check on her. She’s due for her next arrival right… about… now.
The door swings open. I smile to myself for getting it right. I have to do something to keep my mind away from all the morose thoughts threatening to break out. Focusing on trivial things like this is one way of doing it.
Instead of the nurse standing there, however, I see Rich. He’s changed into jeans and a dark leather jacket. The black boot on his foot almost looks like a shoe. His deep red mane is windblown and messy.
He looks at Min first. “How is she?” he asks in a hushed whisper.
“Same as before,” I reply. “She’s been out the whole time.”
“Fuck,” Rich curses. He turns to me. I notice a change in his appearance. Something about his eyes is different from when he left. “And you?” he asks me.
“They tried to get me back to bed, but I didn’t want to leave Min.” I stand up. “If I avoid moving certain ways, the pain isn’t so bad.”
“Good.” Rich takes me by the elbow and pulls me toward the door. “We have to leave,” he announces quietly.
“What? But I thought you said—”
“I know what I said. Things change. I discovered something I don’t like. We can’t stay here.”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “Are you drunk? You want to leave Min here, alone?”
Rich shakes his head. “We don’t have a choice.” He glances at his sister’s body and grimaces. “I don’t want to talk here in case we wake her. Come outside.”
I follow Rich to the hall and ease the door shut. I turn around to face him. “What’s going on, Rich?”
He exhales and runs a hand through his hair. “Look at this,” he says, pulling a phone from his pocket. I didn’t know he had had time to get one. Mine’s still incapacitated after he chucked the battery onto the road.
