by Jess Bryant
“I’ll talk to Riley, see what he knows about their relationship.” He sighed.
Riley West was the boy’s stepfather. He’d gone to school with all of them too. He was a good guy. Calm, rational, reasonable, if Shane went to him and explained his concerns about how close his son was to Georgie he knew the other man would hear him out. It would be good if they were all on the same page about what was acceptable behavior too.
“Good. I think that’s a good idea.” Holly nodded in agreement.
“We’ll have to sit down and talk about the other stuff too though, clearly she’s not as over the divorce as we thought she was.”
“Yeah.”
“Not today though, God not today.”
“No, let her calm down. She’s upset. We’ll talk to her later.”
“Thanks.” He sipped his tea and tried to sort through the tumultuous thoughts in his head.
God he felt old. He hadn’t thought thirty-four was going to be so bad on his last birthday. He was hitting the stride of his life, had plenty to look forward. He had a good life and plenty of years to find someone he wanted to spend it with. Then he remembered that he had a sixteen year old kid that thought she was in love, was contemplating sex, and if he did make it through this, he’d have to deal with the same thing at least twice more. He was old. Old and exhausted.
“So, I heard a rumor that Lemon Kelly is back in town.”
Shane jerked back to attention at the sound of her name. Lemon. Fuck. His body was already responding, just that easily. One mention of her and just like that he didn’t feel old anymore. He didn’t feel exhausted. He felt like a young, horny teenager.
Excited and tempted and eager and stupid.
“Uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat when Holly raised a curious eyebrow, “She showed up a couple of days ago and is staying with her parents.”
Two days. She’d been back in town less than two full days. It had been less than two days since he saw her in the midst of that rainstorm. Two days since the sparks between them had flared. Two days of playing with fire because for the past two days, despite all common sense telling him that he should stay away from her, he hadn’t.
Stupid.
“Uh huh, I also heard you two have been running laps around the neighborhood together.”
He groaned because of course his ex-wife had heard about that. He’d known she would. He’d known that everyone in town would. Because running around town with a superstar celebrity that dressed in neon colored spandex was good gossip for the small town rumor mill.
He’d known no matter how innocent a morning run appeared to be that they’d all be gossiping about it. And the truth was, it didn’t feel all that innocent. He and Lemon being anywhere near one another caused sparks that were the opposite of innocent. The two of them, side by side, sweating, breathing hard, him shirtless and her in those skimpy getups designed to drive him crazy was dangerous.
She’d worn green spandex this morning. Green. Normally green was one of his least favorite colors but on her. All of that blonde hair and those big blue eyes and green looked good on her. Besides that, it had felt like a green light and all her coy smiles and flirty innuendos hadn’t helped.
As they’d run all he could think about this morning was certain other things that they could do together, barely dressed things that would make them both sweat and breathe hard and maybe leave him satisfied instead of frustratingly hard and alone in his shower jerking off like a total creep.
Yesterday, when he’d asked her to join him, he’d known it was a bad idea. But she’d teased him and he hadn’t been able to help himself. He’d wanted to see her like that again. He’d needed to see her smiling happy face, hear her girly laughter and feel the warmth and pleasure that she generated in his chest again. He’d needed to figure out why his body had decided to react to her, now, when it never had before and if there was any way in hell to make it stop.
Familiar. He’d stupidly thought that spending more time with her would make it wane. She was new and exciting to him but if he made her familiar again then it would go away. He’d stop reacting to her, stop fantasizing about her, stop wanting something he couldn’t have.
He was thirty-four. He was divorced. He had three kids to raise. And she wasn’t sticking around. She’d be gone again any day now.
Besides that, he knew there was something she wasn’t telling him. Sometimes, when he was talking to her, she looked like she was a million miles away, lost in some dark place he couldn’t reach. Neither of them was in any position to do something about the attraction that had flared to life between them.
“Yeah, she’s been jogging with me.” He admitted and when his ex-wife only smirked at him he groaned again, “It’s just jogging. We’re friends. We jog and we talk and… it’s nice. Don’t read too much into it.”
“What would I be reading into it?” Holly held her hands up innocently.
“I know that look, Hol.” He frowned, “Don’t start.”
“Don’t start, what? Telling you that you’re single and have been for years so it would be perfectly fine if it wasn’t just jogging? Or don’t start in on how I think you need to get out more and live a little before you end up all alone in that new house of yours?”
He scowled and rubbed the spot between his eyebrows where the worst of the headache thumped, “All of it. Don’t start with all of it.”
“Shane, seriously, you need to get out more.”
“Holly…”
“Don’t Holly me. You need to go out and date and move on. It’s been four years. If you’re into Lemon, ask her out. Have a little fun. Live a little.”
He didn’t know what was worse. Getting the it’s time to move on speech from his ex-wife or the fact that she seemed to already know he wanted Lemon. Did everyone know? Was it that obvious? The sparks between them were so out of control he wondered if they were visible from outer space.
“I’m not asking out Lemon Kelly.”
Holly grinned, “So you are into her.”
He snorted because he’d walked right into that one, “She’s a beautiful girl but she’s not my type.”
“I’ve seen her, Shane. I think curvy, little blondes are every man’s type.”
“She’s not sticking around.”
“So?”
His eyebrows winged up “So? So, I’m not having a fling or a one night stand with her. That’s not my style and you know it. Besides, she’s a family friend. It’s bound to get awkward if we get involved in something with an expiration date.”
“God, you really are one of the good ones, you know that?” Holly failed to hide a smile behind her glass of tea, “You’re attracted to her. I figure if she’s willing to go running with you that means it’s mutual. But you’re not going to do a thing about it because it might make things awkward at Christmas? Really?”
“Holly, drop it.”
“No. You need to rethink this one, Shane. Have a fling. Have a one night stand. Have a little fun. God, when was the last time you had fun?”
“Starting something with Lemon now is a bad idea. It’s irresponsible to…”
“Then be irresponsible, Shane.” She cut him off with a scoff, When was the last time you did something irresponsible?”
“Irresponsible got us our first daughter.” He shot off without thinking and Holly narrowed her eyes at him.
“I’m going to let that one slide because you’re not all wrong but you listen up, now. You haven’t risked a damn thing since you were seventeen years old. We made a baby and we got married and you decided that meant you had to grow up. Fine. But you stopped taking risks, stopped taking chances and you stopped being the fun, happy, adventurous boy I’d fallen in love with too.” She pinned him with her heavy stare, “I’m telling you this because it’s not too late to get him back even if it’s far too late for you and me. Take a risk, Shane. For once in your adult life, just do whatever the hell you want, consequences be damned, and see how it feels to live again
. Please?”
He felt a familiar pain in his chest when Holly stared at him knowingly. They’d had this conversation before. When they’d agreed to the divorce she’d told him that he wasn’t the man she’d married anymore and he’d argued that he couldn’t be. He’d had to grow up because she still wanted to act like the kids they’d been.
After four years apart, he knew that they’d both been a little bit right and a little bit wrong. She had needed to grow up some more, and she had. She’d found herself once she was single for the first time as an adult and he was proud of her for the life she’d built on her own.
But she was also right and he hadn’t changed at all. If anything he’d buckled down even more. He lived for his kids and his job. He didn’t go out. He didn’t date. He didn’t even hit up the bars with the guys all that often anymore. He stayed home and sometimes he thought the same thing Holly did. That he was going to end up old and gray and all alone in that new house of his.
Shane rubbed at his eyes, “I have a headache.”
“Shane Antonio Lowry, so help me…”
He held up a hand, “I’m trying to wrap my head around this conversation. Is my ex-wife really telling me to go out and get laid?”
“Damn right she is.” Holly grinned and he shook his head. “Because she’s still your friend.”
“Best friend.” He corrected.
“I’m happy, Shane.” She reached out and took his hand, squeezing reassuringly, “I’m happy. Do you know how good it feels to say that? I don’t think you do but you should. That’s what I want for you.”
He squeezed back and sighed, “What you and Brad have… it’s not like that with Lemon. She’s leaving. She doesn’t live here. It can’t be like that.”
“Then whatever it is, just enjoy it.” Holly pulled her hand away and shook her head, “I can already see you working up another argument so just tell me you’ll at least think about it.”
“If I say I’ll think about it, will you promise never to discuss my sex life again?”
Holly laughed, “Deal.”
“Are you going to go check on our daughter?” He changed the subject just to be safe.
“Probably should.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“Nah, I’ll be bad cop again. You stay good cop and maybe she’ll keep talking to you at least. I think I forfeited trust the day she hit puberty but as long as she’s still talking to one of us, we have a shot of making it through the next few years.”
Shane sighed, “Fine, but good cop says she gets grounded for that stunt earlier. She has to know she can’t talk to you like that.”
“Agreed. I’ll text and let you know how it goes.”
“Thanks.” He stood up and put his glass in the sink, “For the tea and the talk.”
“Just think about what I said, Shane.” Holly squeezed his arm.
“I said I would.” He kissed his ex-wife on top of the head, “Don’t forget I’m picking the girls up early tomorrow for dinner at my parent’s house.”
“I won’t.” Holly grinned, “Tell Lemon I said hi.”
“Goodbye, Holly.” He growled as he waved over his shoulder and left the house.
Once he was alone he let his mind wander to the dig Holly had landed and he’d let slide. It had stung more than he’d let on but he wasn’t about to get into that conversation with her of all people.
She was always commenting on the fact that he didn’t date. She thought he needed to move on, find someone to make him happy the same way she had. And he’d started to think she might be right.
He’d refrained from dating after the divorce because he hadn’t wanted to confuse the kids further but that wasn’t the only reason. It was also because there hadn’t been anyone he was interested in enough to risk getting involved. Now there was someone he was interested in though, someone he thought he might just risk everything to be with even once.
Stupid, damn stupid, but it was that thought that kept him company as he headed home, knowing that he would go to bed alone and Lemon would be in his dreams just like the night before.
Chapter Seven
Lemon had just sat through yet another family filled evening of fun and she’d thought that it couldn’t possibly be as painful as the one Friday night but she’d been wrong. This one had been worse. So much worse. Because instead of just watching her parents and her sister’s family bond and laugh and love all over each other she’d also gotten to watch a whole other family she wasn’t part of do the exact same thing.
She loved Rosa and Hank Lowry. Shane and Seth’s parents were some of the kindest, sweetest people on the face of the planet. Their invitation to join them for dinner had been thoughtful and generous. And Lemon felt absolutely terrible that she’d tried to come up with any excuse in the world not to go.
In the end, she’d gone because it was the right thing to do. It was what her parents expected of her. And mostly she’d gone because she’d known that Shane would be here and she’d thought it would be nice to get to see him again, spend time with him again, but she hadn’t counted on just how hard it had been to be around him like this.
Because Shane was single, like her, but he wasn’t alone, not like her. Not here. Not surrounded by his family. He had his daughters. He had Georgie and Sophie and Rosie and they were so clearly the center of his attention that more than once she’d caught herself staring at them and knew he had too.
She’d thought she was attracted to him when they were running. When they were teasing each other and flirting playfully. She’d thought she was attracted to him when she saw him all dressed up in his police uniform and wanted to strip him out of it or better yet get him to use those handcuffs of his in a really creative way. But seeing him tonight had done an absolute number on her because fun, flirty Shane and serious, deputy Shane both paled in comparison to doting, caring, protective father Shane.
He was a good dad. She’d known that. She’d always known that. But something about seeing it for herself had made a lump form in her throat that she couldn’t shake all night. Seeing him cut Rosie’s food up for her had made her smile. Seeing him whisper something to Sophie that got the shy little girl to agree to sing Lemon the new song she’d just learned had tugged at her heartstrings. Even seeing him shut down Georgie’s whiny teenager tantrum that started when he insisted she put her phone up during dinner had done something to her.
Maybe it was just that she was in a bad place, emotionally, and was susceptible to the lure of those specific traits but she didn’t think so. She thought it was Shane. Gorgeous, sexy as hell, good cop and better father, Shane Lowry had her panties all in a twist and she had no idea what she was going to do about it.
But she thought she might have to do something, and soon, because as often as he’d caught her watching him… she’d caught him looking at her too.
They hadn’t gone running this morning because it was Sunday and he didn’t run on Sundays but that meant she hadn’t seen him all day and weirdly it had left her feeling restless and anxious. She’d expected him to smile at her and maybe even flirt with her a little when he showed up at his parent’s house but of course he hadn’t because he had his kids with him. He’d only nodded politely and made small-talk with her like he had with everyone else.
But the way he looked at her made butterflies circle in her belly. The way he smiled at her made heat curl in her veins. And the way he kept finding excuses to touch her, innocently, casually, was driving her slowly insane.
Because everyone else had their own family out there, their own team or little niche. Seth had his wife, Amy, and their kids. The Lowry’s and her parents huddled together. And Shane had drawn her into his circle, included her, when otherwise she would have felt like the outsider looking in.
He’d pulled out the chair next to him for her during dinner. He’d included her in his conversations. He’d brushed her shoulder and her hand and her knee. He’d gotten his girls to circle around her until she’d forgotte
n, for just a moment there, that she wasn’t one of them.
And that was dangerous.
Because she wasn’t one of them. She didn’t belong out there with them. Because she wasn’t Shane’s wife or his girlfriend no matter how he made her feel. She was barely even his friend. He wasn’t her husband or boyfriend or lover and those precious, precocious, adorable daughters of his weren’t hers either.
Remembering that, remembering what she would never have, only made her feel more alone and she wanted to run away from the feeling, get away, before it sank her completely.
Lemon took another long sip of her wine and stared out the window over the sink at the dark backyard. If she made another escape attempt like she had from her house on Friday, would anyone notice? Lydia wasn’t here so maybe not. She was just working up the courage to walk out when the kitchen door swung open behind her and a familiar voice called to her.
“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
She turned and pasted on a bright smile, “Should’ve started with where they keep the wine. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
“Lemon.” Her oldest friend in the world opened his arms and she went into them instantly.
“Seth.”
He hugged her tight and she cuddled into his chest. It was funny that she’d never thought of this particular chest as broad or strong or lickable. Not like she did Shane’s. When in reality, the two brothers were built almost identically. They were both muscular and fit. Men that took care of themselves and enjoyed working out. They were about the same height, about the same width and weight. But though she’d always enjoyed a good cuddle against Seth’s chest because it felt like a solid, safe place, she’d never once been tempted to rip his shirt off to get to it.
“Mmm, I’ve missed you.” She admitted as she clung to him now.
