by Sofia Grey
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “Please don’t go.”
You can’t blame me for trying. The words rang in my head. “I have to.”
“I’m a rifleman, infantry.” I hesitated, and his eyes lifted to scan my face. “I’m a dick. I’m rude, and I’m not even nearly drunk enough to sleep yet.” The words rasped out of him. “But I’m very glad you came to sit with me. Thank you.”
Common sense screamed at me to round up the girls and go, but I ignored it and stayed where I was, my feet rooted to the wooden deck. “I accept your apology, but I can’t stay.”
Zack sighed and then scrubbed a hand over his eyes. “Let me walk you home?”
From insensitive ass to gentleman in the blink of an eye. “It’s a short walk and I have two giant dogs. Really, what could happen to me?”
“Please.” He stood up and jammed both hands in his pockets. It would mean spending five more minutes with him. I could resist him for five minutes.
I shrugged and tried not to be pleased. “Okay.”
He behaved as though perfectly sober, clipping the leads to the dogs’ collars and walking down the steps with them, back onto the sand. I let him take charge of the girls, amused at how they suddenly behaved themselves.
“It’s all in the voice,” he murmured. “You need to speak firmly to them, and they’ll do anything you want.” Unbidden, the idea of Zack doing whatever I wanted swam into my head. With an effort, I pushed past it.
“I think they prefer guys.”
Dark eyes flashed at me, the corners of his lips tugging up. “I prefer girls.”
He’d be a right charmer if things were different. Yeah, if he wasn’t in mourning for his sister, chimed the diligent voice in my head. Don’t even think of getting involved. That should be my new mantra.
We walked in a friendly silence up to the road, and Zack stopped. “Which way?”
“Left.” The grass was soft beneath my sandals, and damp blades brushed against my toes. I dawdled, unwilling to rush. “I don’t live here. Like you, I don’t actually have a home at the moment. I’d been living in England, but I’m here to look after Jas. He just needs me for a few weeks until he’s more mobile, and then I’ll go back.”
“No boyfriend or husband?”
“Not anymore.” I kept my voice brisk and sought a change of subject. “How soon do you go back?”
“A few days.” Gwen and Lily, sensing they were near home, lurched forward and caught him by surprise. He pulled them back with a confidence I never had. “I could give you some handling tips if you like. While I’m here.”
Did I want to risk seeing him again? “Won’t you be busy?”
“Not too busy for you, if that’s what you want. Think about it.”
We arrived at Jasper’s house and I stopped, Zack following suit. “This is it.” I held out my hand, expecting him to pass over the dog leads, but he stood there and stared at the sprawling cottage.
“I’ve been here before. When I was a kid.” He frowned. “I thought there was more space, though.”
“Gran sold off most of the section when Jas and I moved in. These other houses are built on what was her land.”
He huffed out a short laugh. “Looks like I was destined to meet you, Holly Jacobs.”
Chapter Four
I frowned as I processed Zack’s words, a memory resurfacing. Gran used to rent one of her paddocks out for campers. “This was where you stayed?”
“Pretty sure, yeah.”
“When did you come here?” New Zealand was a small place, and this village tiny by anyone’s standards. Had I been staying here then? Might I have bumped into Zack when we were both children?
“Dunno.” His brows tugged together as he thought. “Marnie will know. I’ll just…” His voice trailed away and he swallowed. “Fuck. This is going to be hard to get used to.”
My heart ached for him. I took a step closer and folded my arms around him. Stiff and unyielding at first, he burrowed into my embrace like a kitten seeking comfort. His arms circled my waist, and he clung tightly, head bowed and hot breath flashing across my throat. He smelled of mint and the salty tang of the sea, and something else, darker and more potent. My stomach flipped at the contact and a ripple of desire uncurled in my belly.
His body was all hard planes and muscles, and I let my imagination run free. I pictured him as a lover. Tall and strong, he’d be confident and sure of himself.
It was only when Lily whined that Zack lifted his head, his lips a heartbeat from mine. “Thank you.” If I moved the slightest, I could kiss him. My mouth dry at the thought, I licked my lips and heard his breath hitch. We stood there, suspended in time, gazing into each other’s eyes. My arms were draped over his shoulders, his body heat scorching me. I wondered how soft his hair was, if I dared to slide my fingers under his cap or stroke the fine fuzz at the back of his neck. I knew if he brushed his lips across my skin, I’d melt. His stubble looked rough and scratchy. Delicious.
“Don’t you need to go, Holly Jacobs?” Even the way he murmured my name was sexy. This was crazy. Add that to my track record of bad decisions and getting involved with Zack was dumb on an epic level. I was incapable of having a no-strings fling. For me, it was all or nothing, and this time I was going to make the sane decision.
“Why don’t you call me just Holly?” Asking him another question was harmless.
I saw a flash of white teeth in the darkness. “I like your name.” He sounded amused. “Is that okay, Just-Holly?”
Dear God. In the middle of his grief and distress, he still had a sense of humor. I really needed to escape before I found any more reasons to linger. But I didn’t move an inch.
“You sure you don’t want to come back to my place?” His whisper reverberated through me, turning my spine liquid and my knees to jelly. He shifted position slightly and I felt him trailing a hand up my back, the fingertips tiptoeing with excruciating slowness and precision.
“Zack, I don’t do one-night stands.”
“I’m here for two nights.”
“I only met you an hour ago. I don’t know anything about you.”
“It’s only sex, Holly. Not a marriage proposal.” He sounded amused rather than offended.
Lily whined again from somewhere near my feet and jogged my attention. Right on cue, Jasper’s voice rang out. “That you, Hol?”
Zack stood so close, I felt his breath on my cheek. I had to reply to Jasper. My brain was having difficulty thinking about anything but the feel of the man in my arms.
“Your brother?”
“Yes.” I swallowed. “Yes, Jas, it’s me.” I tried to call out, but it emerged as a croak. Lily tugged on the lead, and I felt it go taut across my leg.
“You okay, sis?” I heard the concern in Jasper’s tone and I hurried to reassure him.
“Yes, I’ll be right in.” I didn’t move.
Zack brought his mouth to my ear. My stomach lurched. “Two nights, Holly. No encores.”
If I said yes, I’d regret it big-time in the morning. If I said no, I’d regret that, too. But some regrets were easier to bear than others. My mind was made up, but my body hadn’t gotten the message yet.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Holly Jacobs.” He lifted a hand and brushed his knuckles down my cheek, his gaze holding mine. The zing that went through me was like a static shock, and my resolve weakened. How would it feel with his hands on my face, fingers running through my hair, sliding down my body, caressing my thighs? I shook my head to dispel the unwanted images. There was a definite current flowing between us, dark and heated, and whispering of pleasure.
“It’s night,” I croaked. “You can’t see me.”
“I saw you on the beach.”
I wanted to protest, but I didn’t get the chance. Zack dropped his head, swept his mouth across mine, and all rational thought ceased.
It was just a fleeting brush of lips on lips, and then he paused, his eyes searching my face. Was he seeking permi
ssion? He looked torn. Confused. As though he expected one thing and found another entirely.
He murmured something under his breath, leaned into me, and turned up the heat. A scorching blast of hunger and need flooded through me, surfing on a rising tide of desire. Any doubts I’d held on to dissolved under the onslaught from his lips. I tasted alcohol on his breath, the vodka we’d shared, and when I let his tongue inside my mouth the flavor intensified. I’d been kissed before. I was no shrinking virgin, but I’d never been kissed like this, as though I was the only reason he drew breath.
His fingers dug into my hair, tilted my head, increased the pressure, and rocked my world some more. Shameless now, I gave myself permission to touch him, to slide my fingers across his nape and stroke the fine, downy hairs I found. I curled my other hand into the front of his T-shirt. If I didn’t cling to him, my shaking knees would give way, and I’d crumple to the floor.
The grip on my hair relaxed first. Then he raised his head and broke the connection. I leaned into him, but he moved back, his breath juddering. “That’s what you’re saying no to.”
What? I gazed at him in the darkness and tried to read his expression, but couldn’t.
“Sweet dreams, baby.” He shoved the dogs’ leads into my hand, ran his fingers through my hair, and then turned on his heel and strode off into the night.
Chapter Five
With Zack gone, the dogs went back to their usual behavior and hauled me up the steps and into the house, leaving my wits scattered on the ground. I remembered to bend down and release the girls from their leads and then watched, bemused, as they scampered into the kitchen for their drinking bowls.
I touched my kiss-swollen lips with a trembling finger. I didn’t know if I’d see him again. But I wanted to, so much that it scared me.
“Hol?”
I stood there in the hallway, chains dangling from one hand, still with my coat on. It was an effort to find a normal voice, but I tried. “Hang on. One minute.” It was a kiss, that’s all. If he kissed like that, what would he be like as a lover?
I was more turned on now, after one slightly alcoholic kiss, than I’d ever been before. I blinked, scrubbed a hand across my face, and went to see my brother.
Jasper sprawled in his armchair, plastered leg propped up and shiny crutches within grabbing distance. His hair was rumpled, his face unshaven, and he had massive blue shadows beneath his eyes, along with a worried frown that cleared when he saw me. I was such a bitch to him sometimes. He may be an annoying thorn in my side, but at least he was still here. I wasn’t going to his funeral tomorrow.
I crossed the room on rapid, stumbling footsteps and hugged him, careful not to bump into his leg. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that.”
He huffed out a laugh and wriggled free with practiced ease. “Hey. What’s got into you?”
I keep forgetting how close I came to losing you. I wiped a leaking tear from my eyes and smiled at his confusion. “Maybe I’m getting maudlin. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, you know.”
“About me screwing up your promotion?”
“Yup.”
“And dragging you back to this godforsaken backwater to look after me?”
“That too.”
“What about my reckless, flagrant disregard of basic road safety?”
A shiver ran down my spine at the thought. “Jas, why that road? Out of all the roads in New Zealand, why that one?” I swallowed past the lump that rose in my throat.
“Yeah.” His gaze shifted to the floor. “It was a dumb idea.” He glanced back up at me, his eyes dark and anxious. “It was something I had to do. Prove to myself that I could.”
I raised a trembling hand to my mouth as I looked at him. “Jas, our parents died on that road. You told me you’d never go there.” The memory of the phone call surfaced again. A tactful police officer giving me the number for the hospital. Next of kin. Car crash. The words had all tangled up inside my brain until I couldn’t be sure they were in a language I even spoke. My mad rush back to New Zealand, terrified I’d be the only surviving member of our dwindling family.
Other than a concussion and cuts and bruises, the only real damage was to his leg, although that was bad enough. His on-again-off-again girlfriend seemed to have disappeared, and he needed help. My help. I couldn’t refuse. And now for the next few weeks my life revolved around caring for the girls, feeding Jas, and making sure he had everything he needed while he was mostly immobile. After that, I’d be heading back to London.
“I should be apologizing to you.” Jasper’s words took me by surprise, and I sank into the chair opposite.
“What do you mean?”
He sighed and scratched at his chin. “Look at me. I’m a mess, and it’s all my fault. I can’t even have a frickin’ shower at the moment and, much as I love you, sis, I draw the line at asking you to give me a bed bath.” His voice was earnest, and I couldn’t help smiling. “I’m fed up with being confined, of everything bloody hurting, and being frigging helpless. And I’m sorry I took it out on you. You should have just called me an ungrateful bastard.”
“I wouldn’t have done that. We’re family, Jas. We stick together.”
I had Zack to thank for reminding me of that. After talking to him, everything felt different. I felt different.
Should I have gone back with him? He’d made me senseless with one blistering, searing kiss. Would there be anything left of me after a night with him?
…
I was up early and hunched over the coffee pot as it brewed my first mug of the day. Sleep had been elusive. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Zack, the hunger in his eyes and the pain on his face. In the cool light of morning, I sifted through my confused emotions. Did I want him, or just feel sorry for him?
Jasper was still asleep when I slipped out with the girls, to take them for a run on the sand. I chose a route that would take me straight past the beachfront cottage where Zack was staying, but that was just coincidence. Likewise, I didn’t actually stare at the wooden deck where we’d sat, but I couldn’t help glancing in that direction. There was no sign of him. Maybe he was still in bed? It was early and he’d drunk plenty of vodka.
I could have been waking up with him. I allowed myself a moment to imagine how that would feel, to have his hard, muscled body wrapped around my own, his hands in my hair and sliding up my thighs. I swallowed, my mouth dry. Was I brave enough to tangle with him? Was I strong enough to walk away afterward?
Lost in thought, I looked up at the last minute and saw the object of my fevered imagination jogging toward me. It was hard not to stare. He only wore a pair of brightly patterned board shorts. Hard, muscled abs rippled as he moved, and dogtags bounced off a tanned chest with just a light dusting of dark hair. His tattoos were the perfect excuse to feast my eyes. Distinctive. A pair of seagulls hovered over his left nipple, and his entire left arm was inked, dark lines crisscrossing into pictures and words. I fought to lift my gaze to his face. His cropped hair was damp, color splashed across his cheeks, and today there was a hint of sparkle in his eyes along with a lip tilt that almost qualified as a smile.
“Swimming?” I squeaked.
He stopped in front of me. “Running.” He wasn’t even out of breath. Yeah, they have to keep fit in the army.
I managed a smile and prayed I wasn’t drooling. “I’m walking the dogs.” Or not. I bent and released them from their leads and bought myself a few moments as they scampered off to the water’s edge. When I thought I could look at him without blushing, I lifted my head.
He stood there, hands on slim hips, and stared at me. Raw power and energy all wrapped into a body that could have been carved as a study in male perfection. “You had breakfast yet?”
Had I? My memory had gone blank. “Uh, no.”
“Someone’s stocked the fridge for me. Wanna come?”
My panties dampened at the thought, and my face burned even more. Breakfast. He was talking about breakfast. “Ye
s, please.”
Chapter Six
I trailed behind Zack and admired the view. Two more tattoos caught my eye: two small, ornate crosses decorated his lower back. A memorial perhaps? They flexed and rippled as he moved. He padded across the sand and paused to glance over his shoulder at me. “You want to leave the dogs loose?”
Focus, Holly. “Yes. I’ll, uh, do that.” We’d reached the wooden steps up to his deck, and I had a moment of clarity. I’d never met anyone like Zack before, so strong and confident, so utterly male. There was every chance he’d eat me up and spit out the remains before slipping away as though we’d never met. Did he have a girl in every port? Or was that a navy expression?
He let himself in to a bright, sun-washed kitchen and left the door open. I followed. Stepping to the sink, he grabbed a mug, ran the tap, and gulped down a drink of water before sighing and turning back to me. “It probably wasn’t the best idea to come on to you last night.” He squared his shoulders and gazed at me, his face shuttered. “I was drunk and lonely and horny, and for most people that’s never a good combination.”
“What are you saying? That if you’d been sober…” You wouldn’t have kissed me?
He shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
And to think how close I’d come to sleeping with him. But the new Holly wouldn’t stress about it. I wouldn’t let her. “No harm done. I’ll be off.”
“I shouldn’t have treated you like a booty call.” Oh God, Zack hadn’t finished his apology. I didn’t want to hear any more, and I took a step back, ready to spin around and head for freedom. I let my gaze drop to a neat row of shells on the windowsill. Pretty. I almost missed his next words. “I’m not sorry I kissed you, though.”
What? I peeked up at him through the hair that had fallen over my face. He stared back, eyes dark and fathomless, a tiny muscle jumping in his cheek. “Don’t go, Holly, please.”
