by Sofia Grey
“Hurry. I don’t want to wait for this.”
He kissed me again, branding me with his mouth and burning a path straight to my soul. His hands disappeared from me, but only to dig into a deep pocket and extract the condoms. I fumbled with his pants while Zack ripped into the foil, and within seconds he was sheathed. This was going to be a wild ride.
Chapter Twenty-One
The mechanics of what we were about to do were hazy. I’d never had sex standing up before, but when Zack hauled up one of my thighs and looped his arm underneath it, I saw in a flash how it’d work. He pushed into me with a steady precision, and I moaned, completely lost in this, in him.
He stretched me wider than before, the angle giving rise to an almost painfully deep penetration, and my knees trembled. Already, I hovered over the cusp of my climax, and I clenched around him, trembling and greedy.
I leaned back, using my shoulders to support my weight as I tried to take Zack even deeper. It’s like my body was on autopilot. Take Zack. Take everything. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs, and I panted, unwilling to pause for even a moment. Christ, that felt good. Thick and oh so hard, he filled me and brushed against every sweet spot with ease.
He flattened his free hand on the wall by my head, vodka-scented breath flashing over me. His eyes were half closed, a look of total concentration on his beautiful face, and he shifted position slightly, changing the angle. I gasped, the move driving everything from my head apart from this. The heat and hardness of Zack hammering into me, relentless and unstoppable.
A myriad of sensations burst across my skin in a vibrant cascade. His chest rubbing against my hypersensitive nipples. My clit tormented by every movement, every plunge and withdrawal. The hungry mouth that claimed mine, nipping at my lower lip. His scent wrapping around me. My heart bursting.
“Holly,” he moaned, lips against my cheek. I was close, trying to delay my climax until the last possible moment, dragging out the intensity of this coupling to relive it later. He closed his mouth over the sensitive flesh at the base of my neck and dug his teeth into the skin.
I could have been a fly stuck in a spider’s web, unable to move, pinned by his bite and his cock. Shudders racked my body, the orgasm erupting in every cell, heating my blood to boiling and robbing me of breath and sight. He followed me, thrusting once more and trembling from the violence of his release.
Slowly, I caught my breath, my heart still racing. Zack rested his forehead on mine, the intimacy cracking through another layer of my heart’s shell. At this rate I’d do something majorly stupid before the night was out. I couldn’t fall in love with him. What if he never came back? And I wouldn’t be here, anyway. I needed to go back to London and salvage my promotion. Or if he came back and didn’t want me? I’d never survive.
He withdrew and left me instantly empty, then released my thigh and helped me stand on unsteady legs. “I’m going to fuck you all night long. Just so you know.”
After disposing of the condom, he took my hand and led me silently to the bedroom. My skirt was bunched around my hips, bra pulled down, and shirt hanging off my shoulders, but I’d have followed him down the street like this if he’d asked. He paused next to the bed and cupped my cheeks. “Slow this time,” he murmured.
True to his word, he removed my clothes with gentle fingers, dropping them in a heap by my feet, and kissing every fresh area of skin he found. He spent a long time crouched behind me, petting and kissing my butt and the dip at the base of my spine. Every time I tried to touch him, he shook his head. “No. I need this.”
His breath tickled the nerves in my stomach, and I trembled, but he didn’t stop. He took his time, every brush of his lips lighting a new fire inside me. Eventually he kissed his way up to my mouth, but still in his lazy, unhurried fashion. At last I could slip my arms around his neck and then help him to undress. He slid the condom packet onto the bedside table before abandoning his clothes with mine. Still he would not be rushed.
I admired his body, the muscles clearly defined in the soft light from the bedside tables. The tattoos on his chest and arm, the dark fuzz of hair that led down to his proud, hard dick, and the molten look in his eyes, all added up to an irresistible package. And tonight he was mine.
I’d examined the inked seagulls this morning—a lifetime ago—and now I used my fingertips to trace the complex pattern on his arm. Most of it was made up of the traditional Maori swirls and loops, but on the inside of his arm I found a quotation. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” I frowned as I searched my frazzled brain for the source of the words. “Nietzsche?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I pressed a kiss over the letters and heard his indrawn breath. “It’s my squad’s motto.” I avoided mentioning the crosses on his spine. I didn’t want to remind him of other losses. I sank to my knees and gazed at his dick. A pearl of pre-cum oozed from the slit, and I had to taste it.
“Holly.” There was a yearning in his whisper, and I glanced up to meet his gaze. I wanted to pleasure him every bit as much as he’d cared for me. I wanted to make him lose control.
I flicked my tongue over the head, which drew a moan from him. He tasted salty but sweet at the same time. Delicious. Closing my mouth over him, I cradled his heavy balls with one hand while taking a firm grasp of his cock with the other. It was a larger beast than I’d handled before. Slowly, with all the time in the world, I took it into my mouth as far as I could, all the while stroking and caressing him and, within seconds, I felt him tense and stiffen.
“Jesus, Holly.” His voice was strained. “That’s good. So good, baby.”
I sucked hard, flicked the crown with my tongue and then drew him in even farther. His hiss of breath confirmed he was enjoying it, and I carried on, little increments at a time. He whimpered, this big, strong man finally giving up control to me. I felt privileged—even more so when he tangled his hands in my hair and forced me to stop. “I’m going to come in a minute if you don’t stop.”
I jerked my head free and continued, picking up the pace and stroking the delicate skin underneath his balls. They tightened, and he moaned again, but I wasn’t stopping now. He came with a muffled shout, hot splashes pulsing down my throat, and I hummed my approval. I’d enjoyed it every bit as much. I hoped I’d get another chance to pleasure him before he left.
Zack eased himself free, dropped to his knees, and kissed me deeply. “I’ve never had anyone do that before. Swallow, I mean.” There was a sense of wonder in his voice. He ran a thumb across my lower lip, and my heart swelled.
“I’ve never swallowed before.” I’d never wanted to.
There was that hint of a smile again. “What am I going to do with you, Holly Jacobs?”
It hadn’t been said like a question, but I nuzzled against him and answered anyway. “Fuck me all night long.”
…
We drank more vodka, nibbled on crackers and cheese, and fucked. Long and slow, face to face, every movement a caress. Animal rutting with him taking me from behind again, fierce and all powerful. We slept a little, too, tangled together in his bed, hands linked and legs entwined. He woke me while it was still dark and made tender, intense love to me, drawing yet another orgasm from my exhausted body. My bones were melting under his touch and yet, the moment he kissed me, I wanted more.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Holly.”
I closed my eyes tighter at Zack’s sleep-roughened voice. If I stayed asleep, he wouldn’t leave. I could spin this out forever.
“Baby. I have to go soon.”
No. This was the moment I dreaded. All the things I’d wanted to do, to talk about, to learn from him. I’d meant to ask him about Steph, his friends, his fellow soldiers. I wanted to share my funny childhood stories with him, my amusing tales of backpacking across Europe. I longed to make him smile, to see his eyes grow soft, to hear his laughter. Had I heard him laugh? Not properly. There hadn’t been time.
Panic curled up in a tight ball inside m
y belly. I had to play it cool. Two nights he’d promised me, and my stupidity had robbed me of one. He didn’t intend anything more than that. It’s only sex.
Without opening my eyes, I snuggled closer, to drape myself over his chest, my fingers trailing down his stomach. He caught my hand and held it still.
I knew then, it was over.
“It’s still early. Will you walk on the beach with me?” Oh, that was a surprise. I forced my leaden eyelids to lift and blinked at the near darkness.
“How early?”
A soft huff of laughter above my head signaled his amusement. “Almost six.”
Earlier than I’d been rising recently, and I didn’t normally have so much vodka. Or so little sleep. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut again. “When do you have to leave?”
“I’m on a ten o’clock flight from Wellington.” Shit. I calculated rapidly in my head. He’d need to leave here no later than eight-thirty. Two and a half hours left. It wasn’t enough.
“We could stay here a little longer.” I dotted tiny kisses over his chest but, again, he stopped me with a gentle hand around my chin.
“Come with me. The sun will be rising over the hills soon.”
I contemplated staying in bed and knew I wouldn’t waste a single minute of my time left with him. “Okay.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned. “I have to warn you, I’m grumpy before I’ve had coffee.”
“I’ll de-grump you.” He kissed me, a kiss full of promise, and then tugged my disheveled hair. “But first we go and watch the sunrise.”
Sitting on the edge of his bed, I stared at my abandoned skirt and wrecked shirt. I wasn’t exactly dressed for a walk on the sand, but Zack had a solution. He handed me a soft and much washed mud-brown army T-shirt to pair with my skirt. “Wear this, and you can borrow my jacket.”
He slung an arm across my shoulders and tucked me close into his side as we left the cottage. The early morning air was crisp and cool with the threat of rain later, but Zack kept me warm. “How are you getting to the airport? I could take you.” I could hold on to you until the very last second.
“One of my buddies from Linton is coming to collect me.”
“It’s a long way for him to come. I could drive you there.” I made my voice light and careless.
“Ah, he’s staying locally. He’s got family around here.”
He didn’t suggest I come along to the airport, and I didn’t offer. How was I supposed to behave? I had no experience to suggest what I should say, whether I should be blasé or caring. Disappointment flooded me, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Here we are.” Zack stopped with his back to the wind, facing the hills, and guided me to stand in front, his arms wrapped around my waist. With his warm breath on my neck, we stood there as the sun crept higher. Fingers of gold dispersed the cool grayness and, as light flooded the skies, his arms tightened around me. “That was perfect.” He said I was perfect last night. Was his memory of me going to be as fleeting as the sunrise? As easily forgotten?
I was glad to be facing away from him. I didn’t want him to see the tears that trickled over my cheeks.
Walking back to the cottage, I clung to Zack on the pretext of being cold, and he hugged me back. The countdown ran in my head. Two hours at the most until he left. He’d need to shower, pack, have breakfast. Should I leave now? After all, I was just a temporary fix. A distraction. I wouldn’t want to cause him any embarrassment in front of his friend. I scrubbed at my eyes, angry at the tears escaping. I wouldn’t do this, let my heart break with him watching.
We climbed the steps up to his deck, and I braced myself. This was it. I left him in the kitchen while I went to find my shoes. We’d both gone barefoot on the sand, but I needed shoes and to take the remnants of my shirt. Should I give him the T-shirt back? It was standard army issue. Surely he would get a replacement easily. What else had I brought with me?
I shrugged out of his coat and left it on the bed. My phone was here somewhere. Yes, on the floor beside my shoes. I checked it for missed calls and there were two: Sam had called half an hour ago and Jasper in the past few minutes. Jas had also sent a text:
Sam wants to see Zack. He’s on his way over.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Zack stuck his head inside the bedroom doorway. “There you are. I only have instant coffee, do you still want it?”
I glanced down at the phone in my hand. I’d forgotten about wanting coffee. “Uh, no, it’s all right. Thanks.” I’d planned to leave, but should I wait for Sam first? Maybe he was just passing on his condolences.
While my brain whirred on its hamster wheel, Zack advanced into the room and stood before me, hands shoved in his pockets. “Problem?”
“Sam’s on his way to see you.” I manufactured a brittle smile. “And I think I need to be going.”
A hurt look flickered across his eyes, and he lifted a hand to scratch at his stubbled chin. The feel of his stubble on my inner thighs was something I’d never forget. I squirmed, instantly wet again.
“Instant’s not that bad.”
“It’s not that.” I hesitated. What could I possibly say? I think I’ve fallen in love with you, and I don’t want you to go back to a war zone without knowing. On balance, no. “I need to go. The dogs need walking. And feeding. And so does Jas, the feeding, that is. Not the walking.” I ground to an awkward halt, my cheeks burning with the inane things I was saying. Jeez, Holly. Could I sound any more stupid?
Zack stepped closer and reached out, smoothing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. The tenderness in the gesture had tears pressing at the back of my eyelids, and I blinked to try and stop them falling. “I don’t know what to say, Hol.” Dear God, my cheeks would get stuck in this position if I continued with the fake smile any longer. I should have moved, walked away, but my feet were glued to the floor. “It was good last night.” His hand hovered near my ear as though he was unsure about what to do. “I never expected it.”
I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, the brittle smile threatening to crack. Should I just say it? Blurt it out? What did I have to lose? He was leaving in a few hours anyway, he’d never have to see me, never be embarrassed by me again. And if I didn’t, would I always ask myself, What if?
The tip of his finger whispered over my ear, and the last of my defenses crumbled. I swallowed, took another breath, and hoped I could speak clearly. The rate my heart was pounding, it’d probably come out as a high-pitched squeak. Zack waited, the tender look still in his eyes.
“I, uh, want to say something.” Yep, I squeaked. He cocked his head to one side and, for one delicious second, I thought he’d kiss me.
“Did you hear that?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Car doors. That could be Sam. Do you know why he’s coming over?”
“Ah, no.” God. My chest tightened. I had to say it before I lost my nerve, but now Zack was distracted. He continued to listen for the noise outside, and I could tell I no longer had his full attention. I wanted to tug on his shirt like a small child. Listen to me.
“Sorry.” He focused back on me, his lips quirking into a now-familiar half smile. “What were you going to say?”
It was too late. A loud banging on the door meant someone was here, and my courage shattered. “It’ll wait.”
He frowned, lines appearing briefly on his tanned forehead. “Don’t go yet.” I nodded, but he’d already turned on his heel and left the room.
I sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath while I pulled my composure back into place. His mother was as frosty as the polar icecaps. His sister was gone. Who did he have that cared about him? Who would remind him that he mattered? Long-distance relationships were never easy, but for Zack I’d give it a try.
It wasn’t Sam at the door. Instead I heard Zack greeting two guys, neither of whom sounded familiar. When I walked into the kitchen it was to see two enormous young men, both with cropped hair. One looked part Maori, with coffee colored skin and dark eyes, while the other
was sandy-haired and freckled. Their conversation stopped abruptly, and their gazes swung to me.
Zack gestured me forward with a crook of his finger. “This is Holly. Hol, this is Anders and Petey, my buds from Linton.”
“Hey.” I managed a tight smile. They were giving him a ride to the airport, but they were early, way too early. The panic inside me grew tighter and more concentrated. Time was running out. I clung to the nearest chair and tried not to stare at his friends. They nodded politely to me and then switched their attention to Zack.
“You ready to go, bro?” The Maori’s voice was surprisingly soft, the accent lilting.
Zack shook his head. “There’s a friend of Holly’s coming round. I wanna speak to him first. We’ve got time, yeah?”
“Yeah.” The sandy-haired man stared at me, a look of intense curiosity on his face, and Zack noticed.
“Petey,” he growled, crossing the kitchen to stand next to me. Ignoring his friends, he touched my chin. “You are going to stay a bit longer, yeah?” He dropped a fleeting kiss on my lips. “Ignore my Neanderthal buds. Despite their size, they’re harmless.”
Hope surged in my chest, my heart racing at his touch. It was just male posturing, I knew that, but he wasn’t brushing me off. Whatever I had to do, I wouldn’t let him leave until I’d told him how I felt.
Chapter Twenty-Four
An awkward silence fell over the kitchen. Zack’s friends both concentrated on their cell phones while Zack made mugs of coffee. I stared at the multitude of shells lined up along the windowsill. Had they all been found on this stretch of sand? Or had Sam engaged an interior designer who deemed them to be part of the image? Whichever, they fit in perfectly.
