The terrible twist of fate lay heavily on his mind. Perhaps the blurry rise ahead of him was not part of a remembered joy. Perhaps it was just an ugly trick of fate, a maze thing to confuse, tantalize, and destroy.
“Oh, God!” he wailed, through the sore, pulsing, hard baked lips, “let me go on!”
He sank to his knees.
He struggled again to his feet, defiant.
He sank again to his knees.
His throat was a blistery, raw, and ragged passage. His chest was afire with a fiercely pumping heart. He was becoming numb again with the heat and the pain, his body a thing separate and strangely static.
Water! “Oh, God! Give me water!” He cried.
He fought within his confused mind the opposing wills: to go on or to succumb to his sinking spirit. Was it all over? Finally, over?
Then, there came another unbidden, lucid moment from memory. It seemed now that his life was a short journey from womb to tomb. He could flash back through the pages of his life, and it was all so brief: the childhood joy and pain; the adult dreams, passion, love … Was this the final 'life flashing' event before death made its claim?
He hovered there in the gravel and sand, swaying on deadened knees, looking off with squinting eyes toward the slight rise ahead. A vague shape appeared on the horizon, a Rorschach blot, flickering on the afternoon thermal. A sound, like a voice calling, came faint and imprecise. Another Rorschach blot appeared somewhere near the first, then, another. Three ink blots wavering on a line separating the earth and the sky.
There on his knees, he swayed and watched in mute fascination the stampede of Rorschach blots, getting bigger, coming toward him. Were hell's agents rising to greet him? Were they golden chariots altered by the sun?
Voices, now distinct, were cutting through the desert haze, calling to him, yelling his name, “Jason! Jason!”
He swayed and stared at the dark looming forms, comprehension slowly returning to a feverish brain.
The voices became louder. The ink blots became running bodies, still smudged and blurred, coming nearer. They were near enough now for him to see a glowing smile on the face of an angel, nearer still until he saw the tears falling and heard the sobs.
The angel arrived before the other bodies.
The angel fell to her knees in front of him, gently touching, carefully and tenderly cradling his burned and crusty face in her loving hands. The angel sobbed and spoke to him of love.
A great visceral wave passed through Jason Prince, and he cried unashamedly with great heaving sobs, tears that miraculously appeared from some distant and parched part of his soul.
Through his bruised and cracked lips Jason mumbled something to the angel. He felt Jenny's body, soft and yielding, tenderly tentative, settling into his own. Then, he gave himself up to her softness and to the compelling folds of darkness.
Chapter Thirty-five
While Jason recovered from his serious burns and from the other ravages of his high desert journey, the Phoenix police found Carlton's killers.
The killers were part of a gang that stole American automobiles and resold them in Mexico. While Carlton's car was never recovered, enough evidence was found at the scene of Carlton's beating to ultimately lead investigators to the gang members.
The gang members would be subsequently tried, convicted in a Phoenix court, and sentenced to life imprisonment. The thugs would join hundreds of other inmates at the Arizona State Prison in Florence, Arizona.
As far as crime and punishment were concerned, the chapter was closed.
For Jason Prince and Myrena Wimsley, the apprehension and conviction of Carton Prince's car thieves and killers was only a modest closure. For them, it was only an intellectual exercise in adjusting the scales of justice. Their love for Carlton was deeper than the temporary relief realized from justice being served. There was an acknowledgment to good police work and satisfaction that the killers were found and off the streets.
*****
There was no elaborate homecoming when Jason was well enough to leave the hospital, but there was a quiet dinner with a few close friends at Grandma Myrena's house. Sheila Broward, Nora Hadley, Dr. Nelson Paige, Paul Winfield, their spouses or guests, was invited. Wardley had also been asked to join the dinner party, not in his normal capacity as house manager, but as a cherished member of the family.
After a pleasant repast Myrena had asked everyone to join her in the grand parlor. When all were settled in their seats with coffee and/or brandy, Myrena spoke to the group.
“It's a joyful occasion,' she announced, her cheeks a healthy pink and her eyes sparkling with an inner happiness, “and somewhere in this grand old room Carlton is with us. I know this and it warms my soul. He is with us in death as perhaps he could not be in life. He is with us and he embraces us with his love.
“I surely don't wish to make any of you uncomfortable with my rambling, but it is important for me to acknowledge my departed grandson.
“We can never know all the secrets of life and death, but, believe me, there is a continuity to all things. Some of us fear death and dying and that is an awful burden to carry. This thing we call life is but a small building block for eternity. It is a linkage station along the way to infinite and immortal wonders. The mind, I believe, cannot conceive of the great hereafter but we can and must have faith that it exists.
“My grandson, Jason, could perhaps tell us quite a lot about the continuity of life. We have talked a great deal since his high desert experience, and it seems to me that he found not only the will to survive in a hostile land but a truth about immortality and infinity. He no longer fears death and dying and he can now find true meaning in all of the activities in his mortal life. He discovered, I think, that this mortal life we've been given is to be cherished and coveted, not wasted in all manners of negation, and that love sustains us and prepares us for our great afterlife. Our lives are but a blink of God's eyes and the time we've been given should be filled with love and good deeds.
“My goodness, just listen to me, sounding like a pompous old know it all. It is simply my wish that you will share this faith. Quite enough of that. An old grandmother is very happy to be here tonight with those she loves. It is for each of you to discover for yourselves the meaning of your living. My words could never convince you of what has come to me during these latter days.
“Suffice it, you've all been invited to celebrate life and death. My beloved Jason has returned from a trek in the wilderness, as it were,” she smiled and all in the room smiled with her, “and I expect him henceforth to gain insight in a more comfortable, more civilized, and safer environment.” Again she smiled at her mild reprimand.
“You are all here because you are like family.
“Sheila, Carlton is happy that you are here with us. He loved you more than you know, and, perhaps, more than he knew.
“Nora, your truant boss and friend is happy that you are here. If he will not give you a few days off now and then, you just call me.
“Nelson, you keep the old heart ticking for us all, but you and Ellen are and have always been our close and valued friends.
“Paul, you have been diligent and true through all the years in keeping our financial house in order but, more importantly, you and Joan have become our close and caring friends.
“Wardley, you are here and, dear God, may you always be here. I don't know what I would do without you. You are loved and cherished as friend and family.
“On this special occasion, I just wanted to make an apology, more or less, in front of you all but especially to Jason. I handled something very badly and I would wish that each of you might benefit from my mistake.”
Myrena paused just long enough to sip her coffee and brandy, to shift her position in the old leather chair.
“I handled my own mortality badly. I caused needless emotional pain for Jason and perhaps for others of you as well.” Myrena saw Jason lower his head, uncomfortable with her confession. She addressed his
discomfort. “Jason, I don't mean to embarrass you. It just seems important for me to say these things.
“Nelson is treating me for cancer, and it is a terminal condition. However, my longevity has been sufficient and Nelson tells me that I could be around for some time yet. One inexorable truth, I have lived such a wonderful, happy, and full life. and, frankly, I'm rather anxious to get to the other side and reunite with John. You must know that he is also here with us tonight.
“Another truth is that I should have disclosed this cancer business to Jason. Instead, he finds out on his own, eavesdropping, I might add,” smiling with the group, “and I fear that it caused him some anguish. That and the sudden death of Carlton became a rather heavy load for him to carry.
“So, Jason,” she looked at him with pride and a radiant happiness, “I apologize mostly to you but to others who might be hearing it for the first time.
“Almost finished, dear folks, promise! Jason, you are to get on with your important life. Finish 'Apple Brown Betty.' Jenny, you see that he does. Dear sweet Jenny! How so very dear you are to me. I have so much love for you.
“All of you hear me well. I am completely at peace with myself and will not tolerate any long faces.
“Paul, I would appreciate your speaking with those present, privately, at your convenience and theirs, and explain the general intent of my will and trust arrangements.
“Nelson, anyone wanting specifics on my health, tell them to eat proverbial crow.” Her eyes sparkled with amusement, perhaps helped a bit by the brandy. “Now, let's have a nightcap and get on with 'continuity.' Goodness, thought it would never end! Bless you all for listening.”
There were some things not said by Myrena at the dinner, but, in private, she would tell Jason and Jenny about the call she had received from Heritage Tool and Manufacturing about the auditors' discovery of Carlton's bogus accounts. She would tell them about covering the bogus accounts and closing out that ugly business.
Chapter Thirty-six
Grandma Myrena defied her terminal cancer longer than anyone expected. She lived to see not only the marriage of Jason and Jenny but the birth of Carlton John Prince the second.
Death came silently as she slept. She must have somehow known that her time had come for she left a final note on the bedside table. Wardley found it after the quiet confusion of her death had settled and passed it on to Jason and Jenny.
Jason, Jenny, and little Carlton
Don't hurry to join us, my dear family --- the time will come soon enough and we will reunite in the laser breath of God.
You must not deny nor mourn my passing. To do so would be to deny the order and the continuity of all things. Celebrate my life in your happiness, your good deeds, and your love. The final act of breathing only brings the soul closer to its eternal destiny.
Your doubts, your fears, your mortal worries, bring only umbrage to the soul. Accept your days as they come and live your lives with noble and abiding faith. Sow goodness and reap goodness. All of this is a grandmother's wish.
Love is all. All is love … Grandma Myrena
*****
'Apple Brown Betty' came to be Wimsley, Arizona, six years after Myrena's death. It is a town of rural charm and simple living.
Identical twin girls were born to Jason and Jenny the same month that the ribbon cutting officially opened Wimsley, Arizona.
The month was June.
The twins were name Chase Myrena and Paige Alana.
Jenny ordered a special wallpaper for the twins’ room. On an ivory background of every wall there were royal blue butterflies and blue bowl after blue bowl of yellow and pink jellybeans.
The End
About The Author:
BILLY RAY CHITWOOD
Springfield, Kentucky
Being an Appalachian lad I ate quite a lot of emotional soup and have been trying for all the years to digest it. I've taken the easy and the difficult routes to get at this point in life, a point not so different from that confused kid who joined the US Navy to escape the fragmented uncertainty of youth. All the mobility of childhood, all the harshness that comes with a broken and misplaced family, all the ensuing mistakes and successes, all have guided me to this place in time and space.
It is said that in the twilight years one reverts back to youth. For me, my youth never left me. It is still there, with the same titillating mind games and all the confounding realities. The tone here might speak of regret, remorse, sadness, and well it should. But there have been so many blessings and reprieves from loneliness. There is here in the end a good and patient wife. There are now grown children and grandchildren who make me joyous and proud. There is happiness in my life, so...where is the rub?
The 'rub' is in my being, in those countless moments of uncertain youth and adulthood, in the 'angry God' pronouncements of a Southern Baptist preacher, in all the myriad ways I shall never know. The 'rub' is in my nature, the wanderlust and the inner aches I cannot soothe. It is simply part of who I am. In the simple plots of my books, in the characters developed, I am allowed another journey in this life, a chance to find some parts of me that have been outside my awareness. I am allowed to find my God and a faith to carry me to the other side of existence.
My writing is my therapy. My existence and my meaning are there in the lines and between the lines I write. It is there where I can see myself most clearly, and there is much that displeases me, beguiles me, and pleasures me. Outside my windows I can see God's great work and His eternity in the beauty that are the rolling hills of the Kentucky countryside.
So I returned first to Tennessee where it all began for me...then on to Lincoln's land of Kentucky. Perhaps it is the hand of God that guides me across this Earth's great lands. From the incredible beauty of The Sea of Cortez, the desert elegance of Arizona, the magnetic lure of California, and all my stops along the way, surely He leads me toward some awesome purpose and truth.
Billy Ray Chitwood – June, 2016
Follow author on Twitter - @brchitwood
My blogs appear on Goodreads each week and on http://thefinalcurtain1.wordpress.com
My books appear with some details at: http://www.goo.gl/nWMXm3
HAPPY READING, EVERYONE!
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