by B. B. Hamel
“Hayes?” he asks, frowning at me. “You got a sister?”
“I do, her name is Linda.”
He laughs a little bit, releasing my hand. “Lindy,” he says. “That’s funny. I knew her in high school.” He watches me for a second before something dawns on his face. “Holy shit, you’re little Mia.”
“I guess so,” I say, smiling a little bit.
“You probably don’t remember me,” he says. “You were what, six years old? Less? Anyway, your sister and I were pretty good friends for a while back then.”
“Really?” I ask, laughing a little. I think back and try to remember him, but I have a hard time. I was never close with Linda back then, and she mostly kept me from her friends. But then again . . . “Did you play football?” I ask him suddenly.
“Sure did.” He grins. “Remember me now?”
I nod suddenly, excited. “I think I do! You were always driving this old, beat up truck, and you had your jacket on all the time.”
“You mean, this truck?” He nods at his vehicle.
“No way,” I say, laughing. “You’re kidding?”
“Still running after all this time.”
“Wow. That’s impressive.”
“Takes some work, but I can handle it.”
“What a small world,” I say. “So you’re back home, working for your stepmom?”
He nods, crossing his muscular arms. “Sure am. Never saw myself as a flower guy, but it pays the bills.”
“Nothing wrong with being a flower guy,” I say, laughing. “Come on, the meadow isn’t too far away. We can take a look at what you need.”
I head out with Lucas by my side. I feel a little strange walking with this man who I haven’t seen since I was a child. Truth is, he was a child back then, too, but we’re not children anymore. He’s a man now, with scars and tattoos and muscles, and I’m a woman. I’m suddenly acutely aware of my slightly damp skin and my bare arms, but I keep walking, not letting myself be deterred.
We chat about our lives as we go, catching up. He asks about my sister, and I tell him as much as I can and promise to pass along his hellos. He tells me about moving back home and about the military. He’s funny in a dry kind of way, and I find myself talking with him so easily and comfortably that it surprises me. I’m not usually great at small talk and find it unbearable sometimes, but with him it’s easy. I feel like I’ve known him all my life instead of briefly a long time ago when I was still a little kid.
We reach the meadow in about fifteen minutes. He follows me out into the high grass, the flowers dotting the space.
“This is beautiful,” he says after a short silence, which surprises me. He doesn’t seem like the type of man to talk like that. Truth is, Lucas seems like a very hard man, but maybe there’s more to him than I think.
“It is,” I agree. “This is one of my favorite spots.”
The meadow is ringed by trees on all sides. For some reason, nothing grows too tall in this space, except for the grass and the wildflowers. They’re everywhere, growing thick here, some brightly colored, some dull and muted. It smells amazing as we walk across the grass, and I can’t help but trail my fingers along the tops of the flowers.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t know what I need,” he says, laughing a little bit. “Alice sent me, but I’m not exactly great with this sort of thing.”
“That’s okay,” I say. “Report back to her with what you see and she’ll let you know what she wants.”
He stops for a second, cocking his head at me. “If you were to have a bouquet from here, what would you want?”
I stop and look at him for a second, biting my lip. “I don’t know,” I say.
“How’s this?” He picks a few blue flowers, some short and white ones, and mixes in a few tall green stems. When he’s finishes, it’s a nice little bouquet actually, surprisingly nice.
“I like it,” I say, and he hands it to me. I accept it and smell it. “Gorgeous.”
“You’re right,” he says, his eyes staring into mine. I’m not sure if he means the flowers or something else.
There’s a short moment between us. He steps closer to me and I feel my heart leap in my chest. I suddenly want to feel his chest, his hard arms, and his soft, full lips. I wonder what it would be like for him to kiss me, right here and now, alone in the middle of this place. I barely know him and I don’t normally react this way to men, but I feel it strong and overwhelming.
Instead, I turn away from him. I let out a breath and clutch the flowers to my chest. “We should head back,” I say. “Bring these to your stepmom. She’ll like them.”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “You keep that. As a little thank you.”
“No need. Just doing my job.”
“Okay then,” he says, smirking at me. “How about as something to remember me by? Unless you want something even more personal.”
I gape at him for a second then shake my head. “No, I think the flowers are enough.”
“You sure?” He cocks his had, stepping toward me again. “You’re looking a little flushed.”
“I’m fine.” I turn away from him and start walking back.
He laughs and follows me, picking a few flowers as he goes. “No need to run off,” he says.
“Not running. Just got more work back at the office.”
“I bet you do.” He grins at me and we head back, walking side by side.
He changes the subject and we fall back into an easy conversation again, talking about our hometown and our few mutual friends. The town is pretty small, so it’s not surprising that we know so many of the same people.
But as we walk, I can’t help but think about that moment back there. I know he felt it too, or at least saw it on my face. He knows what I wanted and he was going to give it to me. But I couldn’t let myself do that.
He’s a total stranger. But more than that, I have too much happening in my life to get involved with someone. Maybe we wouldn’t get involved, I don’t know, but there’s just too much going on to start kissing random guys right now. Maybe in another life I could let myself make out with a handsome man in a meadow of wild flowers, but unfortunately that’s not for me right now.
We say goodbye back at the office and he gets into his truck. I watch him drive off with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I smell the little bouquet of flowers again and for some reason, I’m sure that I’m going to be seeing a lot more of Lucas Baker.
3
Lucas
Noah looks up at me, his eyes wide and bright blue, before starting to bawl his eyes out.
I sigh, smiling slightly to myself. This is the life of a father, especially of a young kid. Their moods shifts so rapidly it’s almost impossible to follow. Alice looks out from the kitchen, a protective look on her face, but I just ignore her. She can’t help but react that way whenever she hears a kid crying.
“Look at this, little guy,” I say, shaking his favorite toy. It’s a vacuum that makes noise and lights up, and the kid loves it for some reason. “Want to push?”
His tears stop as suddenly as they start. He crawls over to me and takes the vacuum, pushing it onto its back, and starts to nudge it around the carpet.
I sigh, getting up and joining Alice in the kitchen, keeping Noah in my sights.
“Where’d you go earlier?” I ask her.
“Had some errands to run.” She stirs whatever she’s cooking, which smells awesome. “How was the preserve? You meet Laura?”
“Nope,” I say. “But I did meet Mia Hayes. Well, not meet, I guess. I saw her.”
“Mia Hayes?” Alice laughs a little. “She’s a good girl. You knew her sister, right?”
I nod. “Sure. That was a long time ago though. Mia was just a little kid back then.”
“She’s not a little kid anymore,” Alice says, giving me a look.
I sigh, ignoring it. “Anyway, she took me around a little, showed me some flowers. Do you know what you want?”
&nbs
p; She shrugs a little, giving her pot a stir before going over to her cutting board and smashing some garlic. “I have an idea. We’ll sit down tomorrow afternoon and go over what I’ll need.”
“Sounds good.” I head over to the refrigerator to get Noah’s dinner ready. He’s still busy pushing his little toy around contentedly, which should last up until he realizes that he’s starving and must be fed absolutely immediately.
“You know, Mia Hayes is a very nice girl,” Alice starts again.
“Not this,” I say. “Anything but this.”
“Hear me out. The girl’s got a good reputation. You could do worse.”
“I could do nothing at all,” I shoot back.
She grins at me. “We both know you won’t last long without a girl, Lucas.”
“Come on, give me a break. I have Noah and you. What else do I need?” I give her a little kiss on the cheek.
She brandishes her knife at me as she speaks. “Listen to me. Just because that horrible witch of an ex broke your heart and abandoned her baby doesn’t mean all women are messed up. You get it?”
I hold up my hands. “I get it. Just don’t stab me.”
She sighs, going back to work. “Your son is hungry.”
I look over and Noah is slowly inching over toward the kitchen gate. I sigh, climb over it, pick him up, and carry him to his highchair.
“You still good with watching Noah tonight?” I ask Alice.
“Of course,” she says. “You should go out.” She gives me a wicked little grin. “Maybe invite Mia.”
I just ignore that. I strap Noah in and start feeding him, though my mind is elsewhere.
Mia Hayes does seem like a good person, at least for the brief time I met her. There was a second in that meadow where I thought I might kiss her. The way she looked at me made it pretty obvious that she wanted me to throw her down in the dirt and fuck her deep and rough. As much as I hate to admit it, I wanted that too.
She’s fucking gorgeous. Petite, tight little body, wide green eyes, and long, thick dark hair. I loved the way she was slightly damp from hiking or whatever she was doing before she saw me. The flush in her cheeks was fucking sexy.
But more than that, our conversation was so easy. That’s so important when you first meet someone, and there was never any awkward silence or forced small talk. We just chatted as we walked, made jokes, bantered back and forth, no problems. I felt totally comfortable with her the second I met her.
It’s a strange feeling. I’ve been back home for a little while now, but I haven’t even remotely started to want someone new. My ex ripped out my heart and took a shit on it before trying to abandon our son, and now I have a pretty fucking hard time trusting people for obvious reasons. I don’t know Mia at all, and maybe she’s a great person, but I just don’t know if I’m ready to try and get involved with someone else.
I’m pretty busy with Noah, after all.
After I finish feeding him dinner, I go and get changed. I’m heading out to a local dive with basically my only friend in town, Josh Myers, a buddy from high school that looked me up as soon as I got back from the military. We’ve been hanging out with each other ever since, and I’m pretty happy about it. Alice watches Noah every once in a while, letting me get some much needed socializing with someone my own age, although I know she’s only doing it on the off chance I’ll meet a girl.
By the time I’m finished getting ready, I hear Josh’s car pull up out front. I head downstairs, kiss Noah goodbye, wave to Alice, and head out the front door.
Josh is a good-natured guy, a little shorter than me, and getting heavy in his thirties. He’s the sort of person who’s going to be single his whole life, mostly because that’s what he wants. He grins as I climb into the car and he takes off.
“What’s up, man?” he asks.
“Not much. Good to see you.”
“How’s the flowers?”
“Still growing.”
He grins at that. We’re heading out to a place called Chuck’s Pub. It’s this local joint where everyone goes at night, basically the only half decent dive bar in town. It’s a younger crowd, but not too wild, which suits us both pretty well. Josh works as a software engineer and has pretty weird hours. He lives on a big ranch he bought a few years back on the edge of town, which makes me think the guy gets paid a shit ton of money, but who knows. We don’t talk about that stuff, and it suits me just fine.
Josh goes into a story about some client he’s working with that’s being unreasonable as he pull into Chucky’s parking lot. It’s packed as usual, and we head into the loud music, just barely managing to find two empty spots at the bar. I order my usual whisky and Josh gets a beer.
“So man, is tonight the night?” he asks me.
“What you mean?”
“Are you finding a mother for that kid of yours tonight?” He gives me a big grin.
“You’ve been talking to Alice.”
“Nah man, I’m just looking out for you.” He looks around the bar. “Plenty of eligible ladies here tonight.”
I don’t even bother. “I’m not interested, you know that.”
“Come on.” He nudges me. “Check her out.” He nods at a pretty young girl sitting alone at the end of the bar.
“Not interested,” I grunt, knocking back my whisky. I motion for another one.
“I don’t know what your deal is. Does your dick still work?”
“My dick works,” I confirm, “though I don’t know why you care.”
“I worry about you, man.”
“You worry about my dick?”
He shrugs, grinning. “I worry about every inch of you.”
“I appreciate that even if it is really weird.”
“Look man, you can’t just sit around raising that kid and getting drunk with me twice a week. We need to find you a life.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “What about you, huh? You can’t just sit around jerking it alone in your cabin all the time.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about me. I got plans.” He takes a big gulp of his beer.
“What kind of plans?”
“World domination. That sort of thing.”
I groan. “Okay, sure. Look, I’m sick of talking about my fucking love life, alright?”
“Whatever you say. Just trying to help your dick out.”
“My dick doesn’t need help.” I can’t help but laugh a little bit.
I glance down at the end of the bar, thinking about Mia Hayes. I wonder where she is tonight and what she’s doing. Instead, I see that same young girl Josh pointed out, but this time there’s a guy leaning up against the bar, talking to her.
I recognize him immediately. His name is Caleb Carter. Everyone fucking knows him and his brothers in town. They’re younger than me, maybe a couple years older than Mia, but I’ve still heard of them.
The Carters practically run the town these days. Caleb and his younger brother Dylan are some notorious pieces of shit, the kind of spoiled rich assholes that do whatever they want and get away with it because of who their father is.
I despise them with every ounce of my being. I’ve earned everything I ever got in life, but those spoiled fucks are just given everything they want or need.
Caleb leans close to the girl and she pushes him away, a grossed-out look on her face. He laughs and tries to move in toward her again, and I’m already up on my feet without thinking about it.
“Lucas?” Josh asks.
I just ignore him, walking toward Caleb and the girl. It feels like time moves slowly. The girl pushes Caleb away again as I get closer, and this time he stumbles back and calls her a bitch before turning away. He walks past me, bumping into my shoulder.
“Watch it,” he says, giving me a look.
I stare him down as he turns and walks away, toward a table in the back.
“What the fuck was that?” Josh asks me.
“He was bothering her,” I say to him. I look back and the girl is already getting up to
leave.
“So what? Since when are you a knight in shining armor? She handled herself.”
“Yeah,” I grunt. “But I fucking hate that prick. Someone needs to bring him down a peg.”
“That doesn’t need to be your job. Jesus man, come back and drink with me.”
We turn back toward the bar and I look over at Caleb’s table in the back. I stop short as I scan the people sitting there, shocked at what I see.
Caleb is there along with is brother Dylan. There’s a girl I don’t recognize and sitting next to her, looking bored, is Mia Hayes.
I can’t believe Mia is sitting with Caleb and Dylan Carter. Caleb makes some joke and everyone laughs, although Mia just gives him a little smile. She hasn’t seen me yet, and I suddenly have the urge to get the fuck out of there.
“Come on, let’s leave,” I say to Josh.
“Why? We just got here.”
“Let’s go somewhere else.”
He sighs. “Come on, you know this is the best spot in town. It’s hopping tonight.”
“If I stay here, I’m going to do something stupid to those rich assholes,” I say to Josh, though that’s not necessarily true.
“Fine,” he says, sighing. “McSurly’s?”
“Make it so,” I say to him, grinning, trying to cover up the awkward moment.
We pay and head out, and I take one last look at Mia. She looks bored again, glancing out the window, and I have the urge to talk to her, but I don’t. I’m not even sure what I’d say. Maybe I could take her away from that table, take her out and show her a good time. But it would only cause problems with the Carter brothers, and although I’d love to beat their asses, Josh is right. I don’t need to be that guy.
I have a baby at home and a life. I’m a fucking father now. I need to start growing up and dealing with things differently.
Still, I don’t understand what the hell Mia is doing with the Carters. She’s supposed to be a good person, but I can’t imagine decent people hang around those loathsome toads. She looks bored, but she’s still sitting there with them.
