by Pamela Ann
“I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know how to bring it up in fear you were going to react this way. I can’t turn my back on her, Cara, not when she needs someone to help her stand on her own two feet. It’d be cruel not to help her.”
Seeing how distraught he was after declaring that I wasn’t going to tolerate this nonsensical bullshit, my heart broke a little. I felt like a triple bitch, and somehow obligated to dine with them just to put that smile back on his face again. Damn my heart. And double damn to loving a man who had a soft spot to helping evil cunts.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I muttered as I marched past him before I pointedly glanced towards Willa, who was now in the kitchen, helping herself to River’s wine collection. “You’ve found another way to worm yourself into his life. Congratulation!” I scathingly gazed at her, hoping she’d disappear from the hate I was projecting from my eyes.
Willa was in love with him and she was to live here … God help us all.
In the back of my mind, I somehow predicted this day would come. Willa liked to play with River’s soft spot. This wouldn’t be the first time she took advantage of that. The wretched snake was going to strike. Maybe not any time soon, but someday, she undoubtedly would.
“Cara …” River pleaded from behind me with an edge to his voice.
“It’s not like that at all, Cara,” Willa smoothly replied, her light green eyes flashing like a vile serpent would, deceptive. “I don’t blame you for being this way, but that’s all in the past now.”
Bullshit. I could totally see through her façade. She was still the same double-faced bitch who always blamed me and got me in trouble far more than I could recall. A reformed Willa? Ha fucking ha. River might be buying into her bullshit, but I wasn’t easily fooled.
“Girls, please play nice.” River nervously cleared his throat before brushing past me so he could begin setting the table. He was getting apprehensive. Something was brewing between us, and he was unsure how to tame the both of us. He cuttingly glanced at me before directing the same sharp glare to Willa, warning us both. “Let’s put our differences aside and just calm the fuck down, okay? Just for an hour, reel it in, ladies!”
“Whatever,” I huffed as I sat my fuming ass in one of the dining chairs, still unbending yet somehow wielding myself to zip my spite-filled mouth just to appease River. It was like getting a root canal, possibly worse.
I loathed every second of dinner, but I managed to reel in my bitch mode for River’s sake. The man was out of his depth when it came to passive-aggressive women goading each other.
Squelching my temper seemed to have tested my resolve, but I coped and behaved so I could properly bide my time until River and I were in the safe confines of the bedroom, and I could counter him with his idiotic decision, even if it was for a limited period of time.
Willa, on the other hand, appeared to know her way around River’s home. She was pleasantly cordial and respectful. But each time her eyes landed on River, one could easily tell how she pretty much adored the man still. Love heavily remained silent in those eyes.
Nothing had changed, I knew it deep in my gut. It warned me that she was a threat, and I wasn’t going to sit here any longer than I had to and play the polite hostess when all I longed for was to drag her by the hair and throw her out of the door. So, I remained mum, waiting until this whole nightmare was over.
After dinner, I stonily declined Willa’s offer for dessert. I didn’t want to give her an opportunity to poison me. Seriously, I wouldn’t put it past her.
While those two continued on their last course, I took it upon myself to haul my luggage upstairs into River’s bedroom. I needed time to breathe and gather my chaotic thoughts, hoping some alone time would give me a new perspective. My relationship with River came first, above all else, and as much I begrudged supporting him, I had to find the wherewithal to accept it. Compromise. A resolution that was bound to test my will.
Feeling beyond rotten, I idly sat at the edge of the bed, picking at the feathers in his goose-down pillow while I scanned River’s bedroom, somberly recollecting all the beautiful memories we had made in this sweet, beautiful space.
I took comfort knowing he would choose me, no matter what happened in the future. However, Willa’s arrival surely threatened that sentiment. She might not have River’s heart, but she had his ear, his trust, and that could prove to be even more dangerous. No matter how much Willa tried to reassure me that she had changed, I knew what she was capable of. She’d do anything to ruin me so she could swoop in and take my place. Because deep in her dark, perverse mind, she thought I did the same to her by taking her place in River’s eyes the moment I arrived in Mattie’s home.
My brain was depleted, my body ran on fumes, but the moment I heard River shuffling outside the door, all of exhaustion vanished, substituted by great anticipation.
After not seeing each other for weeks on end, this was our worst reunion to date. It was a sobering thought, somehow thawing my icy, bitchy demeanor. Slightly.
“I came back early because I thought it’d be nice to surprise you, but I’m the one’s being surprised,” I delivered upon hearing him stealthily enter the room.
River let out a forlorn huff of air as he languidly shut the door behind him. “Are we really fighting about this?” Downcast, he was none too pleased about this new development.
Had he warned me, I would’ve been less dramatic. I was obviously in deep shock upon seeing that wretched bitch after not seeing her for years. River owed me that courtesy at least, and he knew it, too. His forlorn face stated how much he regretted that decision.
Good. No one likes to be surprised with a disease.
“I’m just annoyed I wasn’t told. How do you think I felt walking in here with you two looking all chummy and shit?” I wouldn’t openly admit to it, but where Willa’s involved, yes, as much as I hated to admit it, I was vexed and undeniably jealous. What woman wouldn’t?
If I died tomorrow, Willa would be the first in the running, then Hailey would be a close second. I wouldn’t be surprised if they teamed up to overthrow me. It wouldn’t be the first time attempt by Willa. She was just that kind of gal. Vindictiveness was the fabric of her soul.
Shattered, River stood before me. “I’m really sorry, Cara. I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again. I’m sorry.” His shoulders sagged as he admittedly voiced out his mistake.
“You should be. It’s the worst feeling in the world—thinking your boyfriend’s cheating again while you’re not around.” This man had given me the runaround before.
He stiffened as he gazed at me, horrified and offended from my little display of emotional upheaval. The shaky foundation gradually emerged from its cracks, the broken bits, and the ugly ones that couldn’t be hidden, even though we tried to glue it back together.
“I never cheated on you, Cara!” he roared as he immediately shot to his feet and began pacing the room. He then drastically stopped before pinning me with those dark, soulful eyes that pulled at my heartstrings. “Are we back there again, Cara?”
“I’m not going to argue with you about it. We’ll end up going in circles.” He and I never saw eye to eye when it came to that specific argument, hence the reason we let that particular dispute rest. But flash-forwards to this present day conundrum, I wasn’t going to easily let this issue slide. “I thought I could move in, but I won’t be thinking about that until she’s out the door.” As much as I loved him, I had to draw the line somewhere.
“Fuck.” He blew out a breath as he raked a hand through his hair, frustrated as hell. “Okay, that’s fair I guess.”
Good, at least we agreed on something. Maybe this would give him a good reason to shorten Willa’s stay. Who knew? It might just work for my benefit.
With that out of the way, I was ungrudgingly inclined to continue where we left off in Vancouver.
Revived, I chewed on my bottom lip as I slightly parted my thighs, clearly ready for a proper reunion with hi
m. “What are you standing there like an idiot for? Come here and kiss me.” A soft smile toyed about my lips as I watched his frown turn into a gorgeous grin.
“Fuck, I thought you’d never ask.” He took me by surprise by rolling me on my back and roughly pinning me with his chiseled body. “I love you. Don’t you fucking forget it.”
He showed me just how much.
River conquered. He ravished, and he executed, as an ardent lover should. He made love to me rapidly, exquisitely, ruthlessly. He commanded my surrender, and I duly surrendered. I wholeheartedly gave it without restrictions, without limitations. He took every inch of me, enduring and lavishing the merciless onslaught of his turgid cock. The power, the magnificent feel of him with each blinding thrust of his hips brought me to an earth-shattering release. He punished, he loved, but most of all, he gave me his heart and soul. When he took me, I felt every fiber of his body connect with mine. A mating of hearts, of kindred souls. A beautiful dance of unrestrained bodies, consuming one’s senses, one’s desires, and delivering it into one fluid, earth-quaking motion that only a soulmate could bestow to its partner.
I was beguiled as the man thoroughly and needlessly gave me what I needed most—himself.
This, just like this, bare and naked, without the falsities, the web of lies, and the complications of life, and the rest of the world forgotten was all I needed. What he and I needed to refuel our depleted souls, sucked out of all the good energy as we combated our daily battles in life. We sought refuge with each other, with our souls, with our bodies. A temporary remedy to cure the little blows that tested our faith with one another.
“Now I can sleep and dream of you.” Transfixed, I softly outlined the chiseled edges of his chest, happily sated. “Are you going to work?” Gathering from our previous conversations, River worked better at night. Tonight might not be an exception.
“I’m supposed to, but let me just savor being with you in my arms for a little bit longer.” He caressed the base of my spine before shifting so he could gently kiss my forehead.
“Will you hold me until I fall asleep?” I sighed as my eyes began to shut.
“Is that all you want?” he cheekily asked, as if I hadn’t spent all my energy minutes ago. Round two would guarantee me comatose.
Even in my exhausted state, I couldn’t help smiling. “I am too tired for whatever it is you’re thinking. I love you, but take it easy, babe.” Add the fact that we had another audience that could easily hear us across the hall, that sure took a little of the excitement of our lovemaking.
I was hairsbreadth away from sleep when River’s phone beeped from somewhere. He let out an exasperated sound before he reluctantly untangled from my arms and hunted down his phone, which was conveniently located on the floor.
“Babe, sorry to spring this on you so late, but can you be my plus one for the awards on Saturday?” he called out, summoning me out of my sleepy state.
That’s in five days.
“Damn, this is getting real,” I grumbled as my mind subjected itself to disastrous scenarios. Where did one begin? I had no dress, no plan whatsoever. Add the fact that I had never been to such highlighted events before, I was trying my damnedest not to panic.
“We are real. What are you on about?” River stood at the edge of the bed, looking down at me like a besotted dark angel while mischievously eyeing my naked body with those ever hungry, bona fide lethal eyes of his.
I languorously shifted my body so I could meet his eyes. They zeroed in on my nakedness, captivated, as I coquettishly raised my brow at him.
“Everyone will be curious about me … and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” Paparazzi life was something I was absolutely terrified of. Those bastards could be callously ruthless. Why court that kind of madness? From the little exposure I had from being with River, they were an unfriendly bunch. They would push your buttons, hoping to get the million-dollar reaction out of you. How did one navigate such treacherous waters filled with ravenous sharks?
Crestfallen, he seemed crushed. “I thought I could share this with you, but if it’s too much, we don’t have to go.”
“Why don’t you go alone?” I didn’t want to dampen his fun.
He studied me a while before shaking his head, bewildered. “Maybe … we’ll see.”
Damn. Why did he have to look so glum? It made me feel guilty, and I hated feeling as though I made him unhappy.
“Would it mean a lot if I go with you?” I asked, eyeing him with scrutiny.
He raked a hand over his hair, making it look more disheveled and sexy as fuck. “Yes, so I can show you off, but mostly to stop everyone from bugging me about my past relationship.”
He meant Hailey. He wanted to kill the gossip. Hailey had never been shy to respond if asked how she adored River and stating lies, like spouting the reason of their breakup was due to scheduling conflict and not lack of love from River.
River’s love. Yeah, my big fat ass.
“Well, in that case, we’ll definitely be going, then.” Anything to squash Hailey’s hopes of reconciling with River, I was all for it. And if the cost to accomplish such a feat was to share the red carpet with him, then so be it. But apart from that concern, another one sprouted in my mind as River kissed me before excusing himself to shower before heading out to the studio.
Mostly every gifted makeup artists were all booked up. This was a last minute decision and without a makeup artist handy, it bothered me that I might look terrifyingly ugly that people would start bashing me. I loved River, but this part of his life gave me anxiety. The flashes, the fame, I could do without. But being with him, this circus was part of the package, and no matter how much I loathed the thought of living a life in a fishbowl, I had to learn how to brave it out and grow a thicker skin.
//
The following afternoon, when the coast was clear from any slithering snakes around the apartment, I tried to call Kells, but it immediately went straight to voicemail. I knew she had a project in Brazil, so maybe the reception was scarce in her area.
“Babe, I know you’re having a shoot and won’t be back for a few days, but I have a huge favor to ask of you. River’s going to MTV Music Awards this Saturday, and I’m going to be his plus one. I need you to do me up ’cause everyone’s fully booked. I hope this isn’t too much to ask … so please, if possible, get back to me when you can. Love ya.”
With Anton’s help, we managed to score a quick fitting for a designer dress after he strategically dropped River’s name. And just like that, the once tightly shut doors hastily opened to cater to one of Hollywood’s hunks’ plus ones.
It was a gorgeous champagne, beaded gown with hand-sewn Swarovski crystals, dropped cleavage, and beautifully intricate designs that fitted my body like a second skin. Even amidst my anxiety, I couldn’t begrudge how elated I was, thinking about how I would look standing next to my man.
By the night’s end, while Anton, River, and I dined out at Sugarfish, I received an email from Kells. She would be flying in the morning of the event. She would also bring a friend along that did a marvelous job with hair. So, with all those necessities out of the way, I could breathe, relax, and savor the massages and facials River booked for us in the next few days.
We went to the Face Place first, followed by Ole Henriksen Body Spa to scrub and polish every inch of our bodies. And when nightfall came around, River had to head back into the studio while I carried on for a new highlighted color and new do at Nine Zero One Salon.
River, bless his beautiful heart, actually requested that Willa occupy herself while I was in the condo. He wanted us to avoid each other as much as possible. So, in a way, I appreciated his gesture.
I hadn’t checked my own apartment in Santa Monica as I previously planned, and it was becoming such a hardship imagining a life without River. Even for a few measly hours, I had gotten so accustomed to living in his space that it was unbearable to imagine not sharing sweet mornings with him. The mornings were my addic
tion. I loved waking up to him working in and out of me.
With all that juicy sex, how could I revert back to my old ways? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that it felt amazing to be with River all night and day. Maybe he was right about moving in together. And with Willa scarcely around during the day and only coming home past eight at night, it was almost tolerable living with her. Almost.
Chapter Four
“Oh, my God! I had the worst flight from hell! I swear to God, I almost just stabbed someone.” Kells erratically charged into the living room without greeting anyone. She immediately came straight here from LAX and seemed beside herself, animated as she parked her belongings in the corner in drastic haste. We had been in the middle of deciding what type of hairstyle would suit the dress when River’s cleaning lady, Linda, had let her in.
Intrigued, Anton and I both stilled, knowing that whatever got Kells so enraged, it would be pure juicy drama.
“What the heck happened to you?” Anton and I both chimed at the same time.
Superbly dressed in her summer dress and designer shoes, her bright green eyes sparkled like impeccable emeralds as she paced to and fro, before she managed to stop and glance at us with those powerful gem-like eyes. “The plane was full, and there’s this guy I sat next to in first class. I have a fear of flying, you know, and sometimes the only way I can relax is to sit near the window, but all the seats were taken. So I tried to explain my situation to this man next to me, but he just dumbly stared, as if he didn’t understand what I was saying. So I figured this Brazilian man didn’t speak an ounce of English. So I let it slide, trying to be understanding and all …”
“And?” I pressed further since she was painstakingly taking a great deal to reach the ending.
Kells let out an aggravated groan before her shoulders sagged as she recalled what transpired. “But, like, half an hour later, he asks the steward for some vodka in fluent American English, so I flipping confronted the asshole. We had a serious discussion. My blood boiled, obviously.”
