by Amanda Thome
My feet slam down just as I hear the regulators’ heavy boots marching from the street to my right. There’s more than one of them and they’re close. I cover the length of the log and dive stomach first to its base, just as the regulator’s sweeping lights fall across the rotting tree.
My insides are in my throat. Sweat forms across my forehead as I lay prone with rocks and leaves pressed against my face. The regulators march in rhythm as their boots slam the pavement closer and closer to where I am. Gravel crunches beneath their heavy boots. The sound of crunching gravel and crunching leaves pressed against my head fills my ears. My pupils dilate in the darkness then suddenly snap and constrict from the glare of the regulator’s lights that pass along the top of the log. I roll to the left to conceal myself behind the fallen tree. It only takes a second but in that single moment I land in the path of their lights. The powerful beams hold where I’d been laying only seconds ago.
“Did you see that over there?” The one says in his deep and husky tone. “I know I saw something move.” I hear him draw his gun.
I shake, or maybe it’s the ground that shakes as their steps vibrate the nearly frozen soil. Step by step they march their way closer to me. Just ahead there’s a boulder that I might be able to make it to. With shaking hands pushing against the shaking ground I inch my way toward the brown boulder. Maybe I can hide behind it if I can make it there. I follow their lights like a child watching a meteor shower. I track them left and right as I time my moves. The lights sweep left as I crawl toward the boulder. The regulators swing the lights back towards me and I drop to the ground while the beams dance over the top of my back. I move forward again until the next beam bounces towards me. I hardly progress as I stop and go, pulling myself inch by inch closer. All the while they’re steadily closing the space between us. The regulator nestles his gun to his shoulder as I hear the tick of metal snapping. My breath quickens as I imagine them shooting me on the spot.
“Come on out. We know you’re in there!” The regulator hisses. “We might even go easy on you if you turn yourself in.”
I swallow and feel my throat closing-in out of fear. My chest tightens like my breastbone’s being squeezed in a vice. It extends outwards along my ribs towards my arms and tingles unpleasantly as I fight the terror. Squeezing chest and sweating arms are all I can think about as I crawl the last foot towards the boulder. My knee jams into a jagged rock and I gasp in pain. The lights land across my back and hold steady.
“Got ya!” The regulator shouts.
Their lights feel hot against the back of my neck. What should I do? Do I stay where I am and let them punish me, or maybe I should just stand up and run? What if they shoot me like Garrett’s fox? I tremor as their steps close-in the last few feet. With each closing step my chest tightens more and more until it feels like my heart’s about to burst my chest wide open. What would happen then? Would Central send a hovercraft to scoop up my lifeless body in the morning I wonder?
Out of nowhere a thunderous crack echoes halting the regulators. My body jolts from the sound, it was powerful and terrifying. My blood gushes through me at an alarming rate, I feel the beating blood pounding against my skin. Then another loud crack booms from behind me.
“What the hell was that?” The regulator asks.
I cringe and wait for them to make their next move. One more crack resonates followed by a shout from across Grove Street.
“Hey Borgs! Looking for something?” I recognize that voice, it’s the guy from earlier.
“You little shit! We’re going to enjoy killing you!”
They run toward the sound. I roll to my back and watch their lights bouncing in all directions as they track him down. I catch a glimpse of the silhouette of the boy from earlier. He runs from across Grove Street drawing the regulators into the woods. Did he just save me? I push to my feet and hurdle across the rocks, pushing the close call from my head.
I sprint towards our hill. I’m almost to Garrett, I hope he’s here. I break the tree line and see the moons’ light glittering across the river. I can’t help but think our hilltop is even more beautiful at night compared to day.
I run from the tree line heading toward the black silhouette of the live oak. It looks ancient and alien standing alone in the blackness of night. I reach the tree and search the lowest branches for a note from him. My heart plummets as I come up empty. I move around to the front of the tree and nearly trip over Garrett as he sleeps on his back.
“Garrett,” I whisper as I lay down next to him. He stirs, opening his deep brown eyes.
“Nessa, you came.” He looks straight at me, flashing his crooked smile. “Your test is tomorrow. You shouldn’t have come.”
“I had to see you first. I’ve been miserable without you.”
“You missed me then?”
“I missed you enough to evade regulators and meet you here,” I say with a hint of smugness at my bravery.
“Did you really see regulators?”
“Two of them. They almost caught me but I…” for some reason I stop myself, I don’t want him knowing about the boy. “I hid behind that giant log.”
“Who would’ve thought that rotted old thing would save you. I’ve spent years waiting for it to cave-in and break your legs.” He briefly laughs at the thought. “So since you missed me,” he pauses, “does that mean I’ve got a chance at asking you out?”
“Nobody’s stopping you from asking.” I inch closer to him.
“I don’t think I can handle more rejection. Not on my birthday at least.”
“I wouldn’t let you down on your birthday.”
He slides closer to me. My stomach turns as he cradles my cheek. I let him keep his hand there, I shiver as he moves it along my face. I want him to keep moving his hand, to take his fingers across my skin. I can imagine his fingers tracing their way across my neck to my collarbone and then further down. I imagine feeling the heat from his fingertips as they graze along my chest, I can almost feel the tingling as he traces circles along my shivering skin. His fingers will graze further down across my stomach until he reaches my thighs. I squirm, imagining his strong hands wrapped around my legs, squeezing the fleshy parts of my inner thighs. I’ll let him move his hands upwards just a touch until he reaches that perfect spot. I push my cheek into his hands hoping he’ll take them further.
His touch alerts me as he takes his hand through my long hair and wraps his arms around my back. Electric sparks ignite. My body becomes all sensation.
“You’ve always been beautiful” he whispers.
He closes the last few inches between us, tilting my head to meet his. His breath is warm across my lips. My mouth bursts as his lips find mine. He draws our mouths together.
Somehow his touch, his lips, and his mouth melt away the nerves and fears that bashed through my body earlier. It’s like the regulators never existed, like there never was a risk at all. I’d risk a mark any day compared to risking losing this moment, to ever risk losing this feeling ever again.
My first kiss, this is it I think. Matching his moves I yield myself to his kiss. I exorcise anything that’s left of the girl in me and morph into a woman. I’m aware that I’ll never get this moment again, never get to have another first kiss. I make the most of it, relishing every instant and every sensation. I’ve spent so many years avoiding this moment, too afraid it could lead to heartache. Finally my walls are starting to come down and I let myself enjoy this. Warm wetness bursts with fire as his tongue touches mine. I withdraw for just a second. It feels strange having someone so close and intimate but I push myself deeper. I drive myself into his kiss, swirling my tongue with his, feeling the wetness.
I shake as he traces his thumb down my stomach, swirling it around my hips. I hold my arms steady against his back as his leg rolls over mine. He pins our hips together and my body moves to an unheard rhythm. The whole time my body grows like fire and I can’t get enough. He’s the first to release our tangled bodies. He breathes heavily
as his chest rises and falls like he just finished a race.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long, I fell for you the first time I saw you. I’ve loved you since the start.” He says.
“Love?” I whisper. Funny that my head screams the question yet my throat only allows a whisper to escape.
“Yes. I love you.” He kisses me.
I want to say it back, I think it’s what I feel. How am I supposed to know what love feels like? I’ve spent too much time building walls to protect myself, I’m not prepared for all of them to fall yet. How could I? They are the very walls that have gotten me here today. Ones built at the age of five when my mother was taken so fast. Walls that were constructed from a practical place, not an emotional place. I had to look at things practically, investing emotions might lead to heartbreak. Practically the only thing I had was Emma and Papa, everything else was a risk.
“What’s this mean?” I ask.
“That I want to be with you. Not just at our hillside, but always.” Always hardly seems like enough time. He tucks my hair behind my ear, “I’ve been thinking a lot about it. We could make the leap. Once we get to Central, we’ll start our lives together there.”
“And if only one of us can leap?” I ask knowing the possibility exists.
“If you don’t make it then I don’t stand a chance. We’ll stay in the Inner together. We’ll test high enough to be in the same sub and we’ll start our life here.” He brushes the stubborn hair blocking my face, “If you don’t leap then I don’t leap. I won’t go without you.”
I push my mouth to his. Our bodies move, dancing together until it finally feels like I’m where I belong. When the signs of first light emerge over the treetops we wake in each other’s arms.
“Happy birthday Nessa.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” I joke, rolling to my stiff back. He positions his chest onto mine, kissing me. “Sorry, I bet I have morning breath,” blushing I run my tongue across my teeth.
“Didn’t notice it. But now that you mention it…” He grins.
“Oh stop!”
“I was kidding Nessa.” He pulls a twig from my hair, “I’ll walk you to the platform.”
I nod, collecting myself at the base of the tree. We leave the woods hand in hand and he holds me as I wait for the shuttle. His body protects me from the wind, protecting me like I always knew he could.
Finally the shuttle arrives and I board it alone. I feel bare without him. It’s an hour ride to the leap-center but I’m not anxious about anything, I’m just lightheaded from love sickness.
The cool black seats look brighter than ever in my flustered state. I stare at the seat ahead of me with a dumb smirk across my face. Finally the shuttle squeals to a stop and I’m snapped out of my trance. I see the enormous white dome. For the first time all day my stomach churns as I realize the gravity of this moment. I’ve arrived for the leap, the test that’ll determine both our lives.
Chapter 17
The mountainous white gates leading testers in and out of the facility virtually block any ground level view of the colossal dome where I assume testing will be held. The gates extend as far as I can see. They’re covered with green vines inching their long tenuous threads at odd angles in an attempt to extend themselves over the highest peaks of the walls.
My eyes are carried from the spiny green vines and pulled to a massive concrete tower. It sits just adjacent to the front gate. I see two regulators dressed in white uniforms with their heavy black boots laced around their muscular calves. Their black and white helmets are secured tightly around their neckline. They could be looking at me but I can’t tell, their visors hide their eyes from view.
Their imposing figures are intimidating enough but when my eyes connect with their guns my stomach immediately somersaults. I remind myself that they’re here to protect me, not hurt me. The guns look so complicated. I’m thinking about all the intricate details when a loud buzz snaps me back to the present.
I’m twenty feet from the entrance when it becomes obvious that some sort of alarm’s sounding to notify of my trespass. The alarm continues, growing louder the closer I get. At the ten-foot mark the sound’s almost ear splitting and I wonder if I should keep going. I’m just about to turn around when the alarm silences. I freeze, waiting for a sign telling me what to do next. The December air bites across my face making my eyes well with tears. I squint looking up to the regulators. My heart’s squeezed into my throat as I automatically cower, taking two steps backwards.
I’ve done something wrong, I must have. Maybe they recognize me from last night. Maybe I’ve been caught after all. They’re pointing their guns directly at me. I lift my foot to take my third step back as a booming voice resonates over the speakers that are housed in the corner of the regulators tower.
‘State your name and purpose’ the echoing voice directs.
“Nessa. I mean VA-nessa Hollins, here for leap-testing.” I swallow hard, holding my recoiled posture. The speaker booms again.
“Scan your card.”
My eyes dart left and right as I look for the scanner that’s nowhere in sight. I fumble with my documents trying to get my ID. My fingers find it just as a scanner materializes. I was certain it wasn’t there moments ago but I must have missed it. It couldn’t appear out of thin air.
My hands tremble as I bring my card to the scanner. It connects with the red laser and beeps three times, verifying my identification is valid. The regulators lower their weapons in unison as the large gates swing open toward me.
One of the most strikingly beautiful women I’ve ever seen comes toward me from behind the gates. Her shining jet black hair is collected neatly in a braid that falls behind her back. Her skin is olive. Her deep, dark eyes stare directly at me. She carries herself with such poise that I’m stunned and immediately jealous.
“Miss Hollins, a pleasure to meet you.” She says, throwing her hand forward to take mine.
“Likewise.” Is all I can answer.
“My name is Natalie, sorry for the little scare at the gate. Central’s instructed us to follow red-alert protocol today.”
I’m instantly uneasy. Central hasn’t issued a red-alert since the foreigners attacked our sector years ago. I immediately worry about Emma and Garrett. Who will be there to rescue Emma if another attack happens, and what if something happens to Garrett.
“Let’s get you started, shall we?” She asks in a sweet singsong voice that sounds forced.
She ushers me out of the December winds through the expansive front gates. I’d expected the gates to lead into an open landscape and I’m surprised as we enter immediately into a narrow circular passage. Our steps echo against the concrete floor as we travel through the downward sloping tunnel. We must be going underground. My unease is mounting the further we walk and I distract myself by counting my steps. We walk two hundred and fifty steps before I see the first fracture in the tunnel; a forked divide Natalie steers to the left of. The next fracture is only one hundred and two steps from the divide. It’s a door to my right labeled OS1-2. She walks much faster than I’d expected and soon I’ve taken another one hundred and two steps. I see a heavy dark door labeled OS3-4.
Natalie’s gait slows and finally we’re walking up a long and steep ramp. I try muffling my breathing; I’m embarrassed she’ll assume I’m out of shape. My eyes catch a small door to my left, I should take it I think, hoping it might lead me back home. I force the ridiculous thought from my head and walk the final one hundred and eighteen steps into a large circular room.
My eyes take-in the features of the room. In the center sits a large semi-reclining black and silver chair with numerous cuffs to lock the occupant in place.
I take in the rounded walls where screens are flashing with numbers and symbols that are foreign to me. The Central testers are reaching at numbers and equations from the wall and pulling them directly into their handheld tablets. I’ve never seen technology like this before.
“This way
Miss Hollins.” Natalie says with a sweeping hand, indicating I’m to sit in the black and silver chair.
I hoist onto the leather chair and cross my legs, swinging them nervously in hopes that this is the extent of my encounter with the chair.
“Lay all the way back, Miss Hollins.” Natalie instructs in that sweet voice that officially annoys me now.
I can’t help but cast a hesitant look in her direction but ultimately I do as I’m told. The chair feels cold and unnatural. I lay down with my head and neck held at an uncomfortable angle.
“We need to conduct some simple examinations before we take you to the official testing room. Its standard protocol, I assure you,” she says narrowing her eyes as she forces a tight smirk. I really don’t like her now, she sounds condescending.
The cold metal of the first cuff tightens around my wrist and I instinctively try fleeing. She thwarts my progress with her steady hand slamming into my right shoulder.
“Miss Hollins, I assure you this is all for your safety. It will be done before you know it.” Her smile does nothing to ease the pain in my right arm. Each restrictive cuff locks around my limbs.
“Hello Miss Hollins. My name is Dr. Glidden. I’ll be completing the medical intake testing.”
I try snapping my head to the right where the doctor’s standing but I’m stopped by the metal ring thrusting into my temple.
“This will be brief. I’m just going to inject a benign substance into your bloodstream to ensure you respond appropriately and are fit for the demands of the leap-test.” He pauses momentarily, “You won’t feel a thing. In fact, you won’t even remember this encounter.”
