by Amanda Thome
His green eyes stare unfalteringly straight ahead.
“So why? Why did you do all that? And how’d you even know?” I ask just as Kara’s gentle knock sounds from the white door at the foot of Tyler’s bed. “Come in” I say. Really I want to tell her to go away. I’ve waited weeks to hear his reason and I was about to get my answer.
“Oh Ty, it’s good to see you awake!” She hustles straight to his side with her curly hair bouncing as she goes. “Are you in much pain? I can help with that if you need it.”
“I’m alright.”
“Well it’s time for your debridement, we have the whirlpool ready.” She flashes a halfhearted smile, trying to convince him it won’t be so bad. “I’ll get the wheelchair.” She turns to leave but pauses, “Listen Ty, it’s your first time being awake for this and it’s not pleasant. Do you want me to give you something to knock you out?”
“Nah, I don’t wanna go back to sleep. Let’s just do this.”
Jon comes in pushing the wheelchair. They lift him out of bed together. The bandages do the best they can to conceal the horrible charred skin but even still the blood seeps through exposing the extent of his injuries. I shudder involuntarily.
He looks at me again, “See ya soon,” he says as they wheel him out.
I lay in bed with my head racing as unanswered questions rattle inside. Why, I wanted to know why. I need order and reasons for just about everything in my life and this seems so out of reason and order. It makes me uncomfortable. There’s no sense behind why he saved me, how he knew. So many things still unanswered. I daydream for at least a half hour before I finally hear his screams. It takes Kara thirty minutes to unwrap our burned skin before we’re finally submerged in the agitating pool. My stomach knots and turns as I listen to him screaming in agony. Screams of pain he wouldn’t have to endure if it wasn’t for me.
Chapter 35
Since that day I haven’t had a chance to talk with him. That night Kara and Jon flew us to a private treatment center for skin grafts. Tyler’s surgery was the night after mine. That was six weeks ago. After days of agonizing boredom and countless hours staring up at stark white lights the doctors finally say we can go home. Not that we have a home but I’m guessing they mean to Jon’s.
I can’t imagine the expense Jon’s paying to cover our treatments and keep the doctors quiet about us. It must be a lot, not that I really grasp what that means since I’ve never actually seen money.
I recognize Kara’s voice. “Hey Vanessa we’re about to transport you back so I’ll be sedating you for the trip. It’s safer that way.”
“Is Ty coming too?” I ask. I started calling him Ty, it’s a habit I picked up from Jon and Kara.
“Of course.” She says sinking the needle into the IV. Unlike the medication at the leap, this cocktail takes immediate effect. My eyes flutter closed.
I wake gasping as my throat tries to suck-in the air I need to survive. Ty’s hand covers mine, “It’s ok Nessa, I’m here”
“What? Where am I?” I’m frantic.
“You had a bad dream. You’re safe now. We’re at Jon’s, remember?” I stop to think and then it comes back. I’m not in the woods with the fire surrounding me, I’m safe. I withdraw my hand from under his.
“Sorry,” he says noticing my retraction.
We’ve been back at Jon’s for two weeks now and I’ve been trying to avoid these interactions with Ty but they seem to happen nightly. Some nights I wake in a cold sweat, other times my screaming wakes us both. Either way he comforts me, always by my side reminding me I’m safe.
“Remember before goin’ off to surgery? You’d asked me why I saved you,” he says. The room’s pitch black and only a muted streetlight casts its subtle rays into the corner of the room, but I know he sees my eyes on him now. “I was gonna tell you, I just didn’t know how. Actually I still don’t know how.”
“Try,” I coax.
He inhales, holding the air in his lungs before he begins. “I guess you know but I’m gonna say it anyway, I’m from the Outer.” I sit immobile and patient. He continues, “I was pretty happy with my life before all this. I had family and friends. I did things I loved. I went swimmin’, fishing, and sailing… all sorts of stuff we didn’t have when I came to the Inner. I was blissed in the Outer. I didn’t wanna leave, I wasn’t like you; I never wanted to get to Central. I just wanted to stay where I was.”
“So what changed?”
“You can’t laugh, alright?” I nod as he continues. “I can see the future. Not like the whole future, just parts and it happens randomly. I can’t control it either. I had a vision with you in it when I was fourteen. It’s stupid but I sorta fell for you. It was blurry but I saw us meet that night by the house and I saw us on stage at the banquet, and then I saw you die in the fire.” His eyes search mine but I sit in a trance. “From that day on I promised myself I’d find you and save you. It’s stupid and you probably don’t believe me but it’s the-”
“Stop,” I say cutting him off.
I can’t believe I’m about to tell him this but for the first time ever I don’t feel alone. For years I’ve carried this with me, certain that I was the only one with the affliction. Scared that the truth could ruin me.
“I believe you, I have visions too. I get them like you, I don’t think you’re crazy.” We both lay in the darkness absorbing the revelation that we’re not alone.
He breaks the silence, “It’s not our fault ya know? We’re not freaks. Central did it to us, Jon told me.”
“Excuse me?”
“Our shots from when we were kids weren’t immunizations. They were supposed to tone-down our personalities and make us obey like Central wanted.”
“So everyone has visions?”
“Jon says a real small number of people have a reaction to the serum. That’s where the visions come from. We’re called Prems, short for premonitions.” He answers as I turn to my back.
“I call mine my ‘visions’. I named it when I was a kid. I always supposed I was a freak,” I say.
“Nope, just a creation of Centrals attempts at mind control. Central doesn’t like people like us. If they find out we’re Prems they’ll kill us.”
“Kill us? That’s extreme.”
“Extreme measures taken by a pretty extreme place don’t ya think? You gotta let go of those ideas that Central’s good. They’re bad, they’re the enemy.”
He’s right, they are the enemy. Sometimes I forget they’re the ones that exiled me to the wild, they’re the ones that took me away from my family. I’ve spent the better half of a year blaming Ty for that but I should’ve blamed Central.
“Why do you think you had a vision about me?”
He pauses, “I dunno. I’ve been askin’ myself that a lot lately. When I had it, it felt like we were in love. Like I’d known you forever. I saw you die and I knew I had to stop it. Now I sit around wonderin’ why I saw you that day. If I never came to the Inner then you woulda been in Central with Garrett and happy and I woulda been in the Outer livin’ my life.”
“Ignorance isn’t always bliss Ty.”
“I suppose but you wouldn’t have known you were ignorant. You woulda just thought Central was perfect, the foreigners were bad, and your life was great. I came along and mucked it all up.”
I lay wondering if my life would’ve been perfect. Superficially it would’ve appeared that way. I would’ve had so many opportunities. At the same time I wouldn’t have felt complete. Maybe one day Central would’ve found out I was a Prem. They’d eradicate me or maybe exile me to the wilds like they did. I never could’ve told Garrett about my visions, he wouldn’t have understood. Knowing the truth might be better than living a lie.
“I wish things had happened differently but I am glad I know the truth.” I say turning on my side to face him, “Do you think you could do me a favor?”
“Sure,” he answers immediately.
“Stop asking yourself why you had your vision. You had it and you acted the
only way you knew how. As far as I’m concerned we’re even. I’ll piece my life together from here. At least I have a better understanding of what I’m up against.”
“What we’re up against. I wanna get back at em too.”
“Fine, what we’re up against.” There’s a long pause before I break the silence again, “What was it like in the Outer?”
“It’s a whole nother world over there. Pretty much everything we had was handed down to us from the Inner. The white clean shuttles I rode on in the Inner don’t exist in the Outer. We’ve got the old busted trols, ya know, the trollies you had decades ago.” He snickers, probably thinking of them. “Everything had a sorta dingy film settled on it. From the buildings right down to our skin. Lookin’ back I don’t know how I didn’t go ballistic, guess I just didn’t know any different. Our jobs were harder too. Mining and fishin’ were the most common and that’s some serious work.”
“What about education, and the subs?”
“I suppose that was different too, all except everyone was obsessed with makin’ the leap too.”
“Everyone except you,” I add.
“Yeah, everyone but me. Our skills and education were different than the Inner, so I guess that’s somethin’ to think on. You all focused on jobs and skills you need for the Inner. We didn’t learn any of those skills.”
“So you had to learn all new skills when you made the leap?”
“Yup. I had two years to cover all the stuff you learned in your career.”
“How’s that possible?” I ask in awe.
“You’re forgettin’ I’m a genius.” He jokes. “Naw, it wasn’t too hard. I knew I’d have an advantage, being a Prem and all. I didn’t know that was the name for it but I knew it helped me on my first leap.”
“You think we tested in the top because we’re Prems?”
“I don’t think it hurt us if that’s what you’re askin’. Anyway, things were just different in the Outer. Smaller homes, harder work, older things. It really was a step-up comin’ to the Inner.”
I lay wondering if Garrett noticed the same differences moving to Central. I wonder what sort of hand-me-downs we’d been given from Central. I imagine my former life being drastically different than Garrett’s is now. I close my eyes and let my imagination carry me away.
Chapter 36
I must’ve fallen asleep because the smell of Jon’s cooking drifts through the hall rousing me awake. Ty’s already awake and helping Jon in the kitchen. I feel a little self-conscious knowing at some point he was in our room seeing me sleep. My hairs a mess and my leg’s flung over the edge of my tiny bed.
I roll out of bed to do my morning stretches prescribed by the doctors. I stretch daily to prevent my skin from healing incorrectly.
“Nessa, breakfast!” Jon shouts as I’m finishing my neck stretch. It pulls from my ear to my shoulder like a searing hot blade driven through my skin. I throw on one of the soft white robes Jon gave me and patter my way to the kitchen.
“Pancakes, strawberries, and sausage,” Ty says as he scrapes the last links of sausage onto a heaping plate.
I flop onto the chair pouring my juice. I stare in wonder at Jon’s oversized and pristine loft. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to homes like this, I never even dreamed something so nice could exist. The sound of the plate on the rich dark table refocuses me. I flash a smile to Ty as he sits next to me. Jon sits across from us; it’s the same routine as always. I’m halfway through my stack of pancakes when Jon clears his throat.
“Kara tells me you’re both healing well and are strong enough to travel.” I stop my fork midway through the fluffed cake. He continues, “Nessa, we helped Ty rescue you. We had a mutual agreement that we would help him rescue you and in return you two would help us.” Ty shifts in his seat.
“What?” I ask.
“Listen, we were talking about it this morning and you didn’t agree to anything, so I won’t hold you to the arrangement we made. I will say it’s going to be almost impossible and very dangerous for Ty if you decide not to help.”
“I’ll do it.” I don’t know why but I don’t hesitate. I suppose it’s a million reasons all rolled into one. This is my chance to get revenge on Central for separating me from Garrett, for threatening Emma, for taking me from my family and nearly killing me.
“In that case we have a de-briefing tonight. It’ll be just the three of us, 7:00.” Jon clears his plate into the trash before heading out the door for work, leaving Ty and I staring at our half eaten breakfasts. Ty tries to break the awkward silence.
“Jon ever show ya how to play cards?”
“No, what’s that?” I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Ty pushes from the table and grabs a stack of rectangular cards. He begins the tedious process of teaching me the number and suit system. Just as my head feels like it’s about to explode he deals out five cards.
“Poker.” He smiles.
“Poker?” I ask
“Yup, five card draw.” He grins.
The afternoon rolls by as we play game after game of poker. We laugh hysterically at each other as we try bluffing each other out of the caramel candies Jon had in his glass candy bowl. Ty’s a patient teacher, especially since I figure the game out at a painfully slow rate. After my second hour I start gaining momentum and actually think I’m getting the hang of it.
“Ty, I shouldn’t tell you this since it’s to my advantage but it’s just not fair to keep this from you.”
“What?” He asks.
“You’re a terrible liar. How do you think I’ve won six straight hands? Every time you try and bluff you bite your bottom lip. It’s a dead giveaway your cards are crap.”
“What! No I don’t.” He says biting his bottom lip involuntarily.
“You’re doing it now!” I laugh pointing at his mouth. He throws his cards to the table tossing his arms dramatically overhead. His scars are healing; they’re hardly noticeable now. His perfectly straight smile no longer hurts like it did that first day.
“Well I quit. You’re a cheater and I’m a terrible liar.” He groans as I drive my shoulder into his, knocking him to the side. He repositions himself, “What do ya wanna do now? Jon won’t be back for another hour or so.”
“You could tell me what we’ll be doing on our mission.”
“I honestly don’t know, Jon hasn’t told me much. He showed me a map of our nation and some basics about where we might be goin’.”
“A map?”
“Yea, hold on,” he says. Standing to stretch he tilts his body to the side. A hint of his stomach’s exposed and I see the bottom of his abs. I jerk my eyes away hoping I don’t blush.
He walks down the hall. I listen to his steps as they stop by Jon’s home office, he clatters around in there. There’s a loud thump as something falls against the polished floor.
“You alright in there?” I shout.
“Yup, got it,” he yells over the squeaking wheels of a giant projector. “I’m not really sure how to do this, but I sorta watched Jon a couple times so give me a few blinks.” Ty plays around with the screen hooking it into the tablet Jon left on the coffee table. “Ta da!” He exclaims as the image flashes on the projector. My heart drops straight into my stomach.
“What the hell is that?” I demand. I can’t control my voice.
“That?” He jerks his thumb to the screen, “It’s the symbol Central uses. The three circles represent our nation.” He points, “Central’s here, the Inner’s here, and notice there’s four of em. Friggin liars.” He traces his finger along the loop. “And then there’s the Outer sectors. Jon said the symbol’s part of our nation’s flag.”
“You’re telling me that’s a Central symbol? Nothing to do with the foreigners?”
“It’s Central’s seal or something.”
I drop to the couch feeling sick. My head begins replaying my vision from years ago. I’d seen that symbol before, I’d seen it plastered along the base of the craft that
bombed our sector. But it couldn’t have been a Central craft…
“What’s the matter?” Ty shifts towards me as he asks.
“In one of my visions I saw the attack that happened almost four years ago. I saw the craft come and bomb all those innocent people. I saw this symbol painted on it.” Ty walks over lowering himself next to me.
“I didn’t want to believe it either but Jon told me the foreigners haven’t launched any attacks in decades. The attacks are comin’ from Central, not the foreigners.”
I shake my head, not wanting to believe it. Ty draws me into his chest with his solid arms. I don’t fight it, I let him hold me. He runs his hand across my back like I used to do for Emma.
“I’m sorry Nessa. We’re from a terrible place.”
My anger rises, “It makes me sick. I want to end this, not just for me or Emma but for all of them.” He drops his green eyes down to meet mine.
“We will end this, I promise. We’ll do it together.” I hadn’t realized how mesmerizing his eyes are. “I’m sorry this happened to us.” I tilt my head to meet his as he sighs. “I never wanted you to get hurt. If I could go back and change everything, parta me would.”
It feels like he’s kicked me in the gut. “Yeah,” I respond. Of course a part of me wishes that’s how things happened too. My life would’ve seemed complete but it would’ve been a lie. The core of the person Central wanted me to be was a lie.
“It’s better this way,” I say. “I’d rather know the truth. I’d rather stand up and fight for my sister and all the citizens who are forced to live a lie. You told me you’d stop asking yourself why you saw me in your vision and I need you to stop.”
Just then the door beeps as Jon lets himself through the front. He follows his usual routine as he hangs his jacket and lays his leather messenger bag neatly on the bench.
“Hello?” He calls from the entranceway.
Ty kisses the top of my head just before he stands. My stomach jolts as I pat down my frazzled hair trying to find a distraction from the warmth.
