“I see. I’m not good enough for your world, is what you mean to say?”
“As far as I see it, you don’t fit in here. Those who don’t fit in, don’t make it.”
“I’m trying my best!” she argued. “I can’t help it if I look out of place.”
“See, that’s it right there. You thought I was talking about your… clothes. The problem is, Meghan, you don’t take notice of what’s going on around you. If you can’t smarten up, then…” he did not finish and looked out of the window.
“Then what?” she launched back, completely insulted. “You don’t know me, Ivan Crane. You don’t know me at all. Do you even comprehend what it means to be nice to someone? Do you have any friends? Do you even know what the word means?”
It was the last straw for Ivan. He poked his head outside the carriage and asked the driver to stop.
“I will save you the trouble of having to arrive with me,” he said crossly, jumping outside into the snow. It was coming down heavier now, sticking to the ground and piling up fast.
“Is this your game, Ivan?” she yelled out the window. “Go from hardly speaking to me, directly to saying I am a stupid, shallow girl without a care in the world? You’re the drama boy,” she returned smugly. She didn’t actually believe he’d choose to walk in the bitter cold, versus get back in the carriage.
Meghan wished she had stuck with her original plan and kept quiet. She asked the driver to stop, sucked in deeply, and then climbed out.
“Ivan, please come back inside. It’s freezing out here. You’ll be soaked and frozen solid if you keep walking.”
“And you care why?”
“I don’t really. I’m just trying to be nice. Because I am actually a nice person. You would know that if you weren’t such a jerk all the time.”
He scowled, but stopped walking. Snow swirled around their heads. It was turning into quite the winter storm. Ivan let out a low grumble and hopped back in the carriage. This time he allowed Meghan to get in on her own.
As the carriage ride continued, they warmed up nicely thanks to the toasty fire. Ivan leaned around the fire and held out his hand as if to shake Meghan’s.
“Truce. For tonight at least.” His eyes shouted displeasure at the arrangement, regardless, she leaned in to shake his hand.
Her hand slipped into his. An ember popped in the stove. Her eyes flitted to the flames. And Meghan was no longer in the carriage. She was sucked into a vision.
It was dark and cold, but she still wore her dinner gown. She got on her hands and knees feeling carefully until she came to an edge. A familiar edge. A familiar edge that brought nothing but dread. A dim light draped down over her.
As in her vision, or dream of it, each time before, a second pillar just out of reach appeared in the darkness, imprisoning Jae’s beaten body.
“Not now. Not now.” She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around her legs and rocked back and forth, crying. Jae had been better recently. Happier. And she was on her way to a dinner that was supposed to be fun. Could nothing actually be fun in this messed up world she now lived in? Was it against the law or something?
Meghan sucked in a sniffle. Something changed. There was a voice there had never been before. Calling out to her. It echoed, from far away, but she recognized it.
“Ivan,” she sobbed. “Get me out of here. I can’t watch this again.”
But almost like she had to, her eyes dragged upward, watching the loathsome being drowning Jae in its heavy shadow. An odd sense of calm came over her. She calmed herself, taking in and letting out a few breaths.
“What would Juliska do?” she whispered. The question came to her quite suddenly. She attempted to break herself away from the immediate scene she’d seen over and over enough to last a lifetime, and look at the vision like an outsider trying to piece together a puzzle. She cast away the emotion, thinking logically about it.
“Right before I got sucked in, I was shaking Ivan’s hand. An ember popped in the fireplace.”
In the background from the second pillar, Jae’s voice pleaded with Meghan. “Please, make it stop. You can help me.” Something in his voice made her believe she was close to figuring it out.
“How can I help you?”
One fact dawned on Meghan while each of the previous nightmares came into memory.
“Ivan. I had run into Ivan each time.”
She stood up, but was no longer herself. Ivan took her place on the pillar. She looked through his eyes as if seeing with her own. Something wet dripped down her face. She reached up and wiped away the tears. But they were not her own. They belonged to Ivan.
“It’s not my nightmare. It’s not my vision. This belongs to Ivan. I’ve been seeing his nightmare. Which means… he must know what’s wrong with Jae.”
With a gasp and a jerk, she was back in the carriage. Lying half on the floor, half in Ivan’s lap. He clutched her close, repeating, “I’m sorry,” in her ear. All condemnation and arrogance had left him.
She moaned, reaching up to her head. There was a slight pang just for a moment, and then it vanished. Ivan said he was sorry again.
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“I know what you saw,” he confided hesitantly.
She sat up, escaping his grip. “I was right. I got it right. It’s your nightmare I’ve been seeing, not my own.” She stopped, shaking her head. “Wait. How did you know what I was seeing?”
He let his arms drop to his sides. She stared into his eyes, waiting for an answer. It took him a moment, and he was uncharacteristically befuddled when he spoke.
“The night I found you… on the floor upstairs at the house, I heard you talking. I’ve had the dream so many times.”
Meghan was not sure how to feel. She had no idea that her gift would allow her to see the deepest dreams and nightmares of other people. She said nothing at first. Ivan helped her up into the seat and sat next to her. She couldn’t take her eyes away, and yet had no idea what to say.
Ivan turned away and stared out the window. It was almost dark now.
Nona pawed gently at Meghan. It comforted her. Encouraged her. She hardened herself, nodding in response to her Catawitch’s reassurance, refusing to let him shut down.
“Ivan…” she called out softly.
He turned to look at her, his momentarily wounded pride replaced by a thick cold wall.
Meghan swallowed hard, but forged onward. “What’s happening to him?”
“I don’t have any answers for you,” he replied flatly. “Forget you ever saw it.” He vaulted out of the carriage, which had come to a stop. They had arrived at their destination.
“Ivan, wait. Please,” she begged. She hopped out and trudged through the falling snow, with Nona at her heels.
He stopped and spun around. His gaze furious.
“Forget about what you saw, Meghan. I’m sorry you had to see it. I really am. But you cannot help.”
Ivan marched inside, leaving her alone. Just before stepping in, he stopped and forced a tight grin to form, pretending the entire thing had not happened. He was greeted and asked to come inside. Meghan saw Juliska herself standing just through the door, greeting her guests. She cast a long gaze out the door when Ivan came in alone.
Meghan had left her coat in the carriage. She shivered and turned to go back and get it, but the driver had already pulled away. They were at Juliska’s fort. The carriages were being lined up and parked in the large courtyard, but Meghan had no idea which one was hers.
“Screw it. Let’s just get inside.” The snow was a mix of heavy white powder and not quite frozen water. It dribbled down her hair, setting tight wet ringlets across her head. She didn’t even want to see the makeup mess dripping down her face. This was not the entrance she pictured herself making. There was a fleeting moment in which she almost decided to go home.
Nona pawed at her leg, meowing softly.
Meghan smiled. It was sort of like the little thing was talking to her. She u
nderstood what she meant, perfectly. Without the use of a single word.
“Okay. Let’s go.”
She made her way inside, wet, exhausted and shivering.
Juliska greeted her at the door with a sigh. “I was afraid something had happened. Pantin Hollee,” she called out. The Pantin came over at once. “Take Meghan to my private quarters.” Hollee nodded curtly and pulled Meghan up a flight of stone stairs, down a long corridor and into a warm room. She sat her on the edge of a bed while Hollee dabbed a towel over her wet hair.
Had she gone too far with Ivan?
Had she not gone far enough? I should’ve forced it out of him…
A door at the back of the room opened and in swept the elegantly dressed Juliska Blackwell; she wore a long sleeved slimming gown in pure black.
“I made my excuses and got away for a minute. Now tell me, what is this all about?”
Meghan closed her eyes and tried to explain.
“On the ride here I discovered some information about a vision I’ve been having.”
“Not good, I take it?” Juliska gathered from Meghan’s voice.
“No.”
“Have you been able to figure out what it means?”
“No. I did put it together that it belonged to Iv… this guy.” She decided not to reveal her source. She supposed it was obvious. She and Ivan had shared a carriage here.
Juliska took the towel from Hollee and dabbed at Meghan’s face.
“It would appear you have a good start on the problem then,” the Banon told her, looking pleased.
“I guess.” She shuddered, the coldness sweeping through her, unwilling to relent to the warmth trying to find its way in.
Juliska handed Hollee the towel and fluffed Meghan’s dry hair. “There. All good again.”
“Thanks,” Meghan muttered.
“Take a few minutes and gather yourself.”
Meghan nodded.
“When you’re ready, Hollee will show you down. She’ll help you clean up.” Juliska got up to leave. “Remember this Meghan. A respected seer understands she must always keep it together. Looking crazy in public leads to… well, looking crazy in public,” she laughed lightheartedly. “As you must learn to see, you must also learn to live with seeing.”
Meghan sighed. “You always make so much sense. I wish…” she did not dare speak the words she felt.
“Wish what?” Juliska asked. Her voice held the slightest tone of unbridled eagerness.
“I wish someday I could make as much sense, to myself.” Meghan chickened out, keeping her real thoughts to herself.
Juliska nodded and returned to her guests.
Meghan wished she’d been daring enough to say what she had really been thinking.
I wish I could live here with you.
Around you, everything makes sense and seems easy, even when it’s not.
When I’m here… I feel like I’m at home.
Meghan felt immense guilt for feeling that last one. This place should not feel like home, no matter what. Home, was with Uncle Arnon.
The Pantin helped Meghan get cleaned up. Once ready, looking and feeling like herself again, Hollee led her down to a back entrance, which Juliska often used when entertaining. The doors opened into a grand room, filled with guests milling about. Greeting each other. But the room went quiet and all eyes froze on Meghan as their leader welcomed her to the dinner from her own private quarters.
She fell into her part instantly, a wide grin spreading across her face in greeting. There were too many envious eyes to count. Including Darcy Scraggs, who to Meghan’s dismay was also in attendance. She searched for a familiar face other than Darcy’s, but Ivan was the only other face she recognized, and she highly doubted he wanted to see her. In fact, he avoided her most of the evening.
It did not matter however; appearing to be Juliska’s guest of honor Meghan had no problem meeting all of the guests in attendance, which consisted mostly of the members of the Viancourt, plus a few older students she had never met. They, of course, knew who she was, as the new kid in town.
Meghan ignored the icy stares of Garner and Darcy, purposely parading next to Juliska. As the evening wore on, Meghan had nearly forgotten the incident in the carriage and was having the best time of her life. After dinner, nearing the end of the evening, Pantin Hollee clanged her glass, gathering the guests’ attention.
“Banon Blackwell has an exciting announcement,” said Hollee with eager eyes. The small crowd hushed, waiting with mounting anticipation. Juliska joined her side, Hollee nodded and left her to speak.
“Before our evening comes to an end, I have a special announcement. It is time,” she paused dramatically, “for an Initiation.”
These were words the students all hoped to hear. The graduated students waited anxiously, each hoping they had been deemed worthy to join the Svoda as a fully-fledged and initiated member. It was their primary goal after finishing school.
“Ivan Crane. Please step forward.”
The crowd was stunned. His name was not what the group expected to hear. Other than Meghan and Darcy, he was the youngest in attendance at seventeen.
Ivan stepped forward and knelt before the Banon, with a look of overwhelmed awe on his face.
“Your Initiation will begin after the transfer to our next world. Congratulations, Mr. Crane. You have proven yourself a loyal servant to the Svoda.”
“I am truly honored, Banon Blackwell, and I pledge my life to the Svoda,” Ivan replied humbly.
The small crowd clapped, and crowded Ivan, congratulating him on his Initiation announcement. Most, with looks of great envy and disappointment that they’d not been selected. Meghan kept her distance, confident he did not want her congratulations.
Soon, the evening was ending and guests began to depart.
Meghan grew ill. Quite suddenly. Her head got dizzy as she waited in line to say her farewells to Juliska. A few spots behind her in line stood the ever-observant Ivan Crane, who noticed Meghan start to sway. He swooped in, putting his arm around her waist.
“There you are,” he said. “I was looking for you.” Ivan steadied her, smugly. She wanted to push him away but realized she might fall over if he let go. She had no idea what was wrong.
“Ah, our newest Initiate, Mr. Crane,” said Juliska, her eyes brightening. “It’s been a pleasure to have you.” She brushed a concerned hand against Meghan’s face, which was growing paler by the second. “I trust you will get Ms. Jacoby home safely, and quickly,” she added, realizing Meghan’s current condition was not suited for public exposure.
“Yes, of course, Banon Blackwell. Right away,” he promised. “Also, thank you on behalf of myself, and Ms. Jacoby, for your hospitality this evening.”
She leaned, whispering in Meghan’s ear. “Don’t be a stranger now.”
“I won’t. Thank you. Good night.”
Ivan scurried outside, Meghan in tow.
“You’ve become quite the little chum to Banon Blackwell, haven’t you?” he interrogated while assisting her into the carriage.
“Are you making fun, Ivan? Because honestly, I’m not in the mood.”
“In all honesty,” he said, “you look sick.”
“Thanks,” Meghan responded sardonically, adding, “My head is spinning.”
The carriage took off with a start. Nona jumped onto her lap meowing raucously.
“What is it?” Meghan asked.
Nona lifted her paw touching Meghan’s cheek, somehow calming her dizziness, bringing a clearer picture into her head.
“Something’s wrong,” understood Meghan. “Colin!” she gasped. She had been blocking him all night, but he had been trying to reach her. “I- I can’t feel him anymore, he’s…” She put her hands over her mouth, not daring to say what she truly felt.
Empty.
Alone.
Colin had always been in her mind; even when they blocked each other, the essence of the other always there.
“Do you kn
ow where he is?” asked Ivan, not questioning how she knew he was in trouble.
“When I saw him last he was walking toward the wharf. But that was hours ago.”
Ivan dove into action, jumping out of the carriage, which was moving at a snails pace through the falling snow. They’d barely made it across the long roadway leading to Juliska’s fort back to the main part of the island.
Meghan and Nona followed at his heels. They tried to run but the heavy snow impeded their progress. Meghan’s feet froze in no time; her dress shoes were no match for the weather.
As they neared the Mochrie house, Ivan veered off, grasping Meghan’s hand, forcing her to come with him. Once inside, he threw a pair of oversized boots and coat at her, while explaining to the bewildered Mochrie family what was happening. Jae jumped up off the sofa, having fallen asleep. His gaze caught Meghan’s but they exchanged no words.
They immediately dressed and minutes later all raced frantically for the wharf.
Meghan called out to Colin but he did not answer. They ran to every shadow that could have been her brother, but the forms were either frozen driftwood or jutting rocks. Then a petrified thought struck her.
What if he isn’t here? The truth was that Colin could be anywhere. He might even have wandered into Grimble. How would she ever find him? The bitter winds wailed with blinding snow, making it near impossible to see.
“Please answer me, Colin,” she begged. “I’m sorry, I’m not mad anymore. Please tell me where you are.” The emptiness inside her flourished, and tears froze to her plump cheeks.
“Are you sure he’s here?” asked Mireya. “How do you know he’s hurt?”
“Because, he’s my brother,” was all she could think of to say. “And no, I’m not positive he’s here, it’s the last place I saw him.”
“He said he was going for a walk,” stammered Jae. “I’m sorry. I should have realized something was wrong when he didn’t come back earlier. I fell asleep. I didn’t realize so much time had passed.”
“You couldn’t have known, Jae. Let’s just find him,” she said with growing desperation.
Meghan and Jae both thought briefly on the demand they had not met: turning over the Magicante to Darcy Scraggs.
Shifting (The Prophecy, The Spy, and The Ghostly Guardian) (A Fated Fantasy Quest Adventure Book 2) Page 22
