Barbara Summerville never invited conversation about herself. Her weaknesses were always private and always in the past. There was never anything she couldn’t manage, never anything she needed that she couldn’t bend to her will. “Nothing but good times ahead,” was her mantra. A worldview that she’d made certain her offspring were well schooled in emulating.
“I’ve never given up in my life.” She plucked her Gucci bag off the vintage quilt Clair kept draped over the foot of her bed. Barbara shouldered her purse with the dignity of a proud woman who refused to be pitied. “You may have gotten your workaholic ways from your father, but not your stubbornness. Whether you see value in it or not, I’m happy with my lonely life, exactly the way it is. Can you say the same thing?”
Clair could only swallow, because her mother was right. Clair was lonely. She had been for years.
“If you’re such a confident businesswoman,” Barbara continued, “so excited about embarking on your next great adventure away from everything and everyone you know, why show up yesterday with a man on your arm, just to avoid dealing with me?”
“That’s not what happened?” Clair hedged.
“Have you asked yourself,” her mother pressed, “why you’re really one reckless decision away from moving to North Carolina? Could it be so you can continue to avoid dealing with Conrad?”
“No.”
“Because from the start, your sister and I have wondered if he’s the real reason you’re considering the PetClub’s offer.”
“I…” Clair was about to lie and say that the thought had never occurred to her, not even once. But that would make her as incapable as her mother typically was of facing hard truths. “The merger, if it happens, will be about business. And I haven’t recklessly decided anything yet.”
Halfway to the door, Barbara turned back. “So you’re not one hundred percent sure?”
“About Conrad?” Clair was downright panic stricken. And so happy at the same time, the dueling emotions were making her dizzy.
“About giving control of your company, that precious app of yours you spent close to a year developing and babying into production, over to someone else. And moving away from everyone and everything you know, because that feels safer than staying.”
Clair folded and refolded the denim jacket she’d decided to pack in case she got the chance to walk around Charlotte on her own, one of the two nights she’d be there. Suddenly her mother was standing beside her again. Barbara took the jacket away. She drew Clair down to sit beside her on the quilt.
“About”—Barbara stared at their clasped fingers—“moving away from me. Because you think the way I raised you, the myopic advice I can’t stop giving, and the obviously disappointing example I’ve made of my life and my marriage, are the root of your problems.”
Clair softened at the regret she heard in her mother’s voice. They hugged. The accompanying wash of closeness stripped away everything but honesty.
“I’m afraid, Mom.”
Barbara nodded. “Aren’t we all?”
“What if I chase love and finally let it have me and find out in the end that I’m just not one of those people who can’t make it work? Even with Conrad. What if there’s a reason why business has been what I’m best at all this time?”
What if, now that she had the chance to be a success at both work and lasting love, she was too chicken to see it through?
Barbara winced. “I’m sorry if that’s all I’ve been able to teach you about relationships. That it’s all or nothing, and that expecting nothing is the only way to protect yourself from not having it all. Love’s never perfect. It’s always going to be what you make of it. And yes, it can disappoint you. Sometimes more than you think you can bear. But falling in love should never be something you’re afraid of, darling. I believe that with all my heart, even now. I wish… I’m sorry I wasn’t able to show you all the wonderful, earth-shattering things love can be, even when it doesn’t work out the way you expect it to.”
“Would you ever have tried again…with someone else besides Daddy?”
The room grew silent.
Clair listened to the refrigerator humming in the kitchen. For once her phone wasn’t ringing. Her staff was handling the business entirely on their own for the next two days. And, an even more unprecedented anomaly, she’d listed herself as unavailable as a PAWSMatch.
Her Chandlerville life had officially come to a standstill until she finalized things with PetClub.
“Mom?” she asked, when Barbara still hadn’t answered.
Her mother’s gaze refocused, snapping her back from another place and time.
“I thought your father was my one and only. I know that must be hard to believe, given what you think of our lives together now. But once upon a time I was so sure… And then you girls came along, and I fell head over heels for both of you and the life we had together. I’ve been happy, Clair. Don’t think for a minute that I haven’t. But I have regrets, too. Regrets I don’t want you to experience one day. Don’t make any hasty decisions about your future. Not until you’re completely sure of what you want.”
Clair sighed. “With PetClub?”
“With you and Conrad.”
Clair thought of all the years she’d spent trying to be different from her mother. Had she really put her heart on a shelf, too, the same as the woman who’d raised her?
“I need more time, Mom. I’m not sure about anything right now. Even Conrad and me."
“That man’s your one and only. I didn’t need to see the two of you together yesterday to know that. Everyone who loves you has known for years. For sure ever since Conrad moved back to town. You’ve dated a lot of other people, many of whom might have made you happy. But nothing’s changed how it feels when you and Conrad are together, right?”
Clair nodded.
Barbara did, too. She resettled her purse higher on her shoulder as she stood to leave. “Then it sounds like it’s time for you to make up your mind about more than a business deal.”
“Can I buy a beautiful woman a drink?” asked the tall, dark, and handsome man who approached Clair at the hotel’s bar.
Several stunned seconds later, she picked her jaw up off the floor so she could speak.
“Conrad?”
She watched him smooth a hand down his tie and impeccably tailored gray sport coat. Pressed navy pants molded lovingly to his athletic thighs. The clock behind the bar said it was just before seven o’clock in the evening.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. Right where she’d been dreaming of him being. “Where’s Harper?”
“I’m not on at the hospital again until three tomorrow. And Harper has an experienced grandmother watching over him tonight.” Conny slipped into the high-backed stool beside Clair and kissed her check. And then her ear. And then her neck.
She swatted him away. “Stop that. I’m waiting for PetClub’s CFO and Customer Service VP. We’re doing drinks and dinner, so they can schmooze me before we get down and dirty tomorrow, negotiating contract terms. And now everyone you and I know in Chandlerville who wasn’t at yesterday’s barbecue is going to think we’re—”
“Getting down and dirty tonight?” He pecked another kiss on the tip of her nose.
She automatically kissed him back. She couldn’t help herself. She wanted to kiss him again, over and over again.
She pushed him away. “I thought Julianna was out of town. I can’t believe you asked your mother to babysit for this. We said we’d talk when I got back.”
He inched his bar stool closer. “That was before I had to spend another night without you. And it was your mother, not mine, who enabled me to get the heck out of Dodge at the last minute.”
“Babs?”
“She researched the flights, told me I could use her miles if that made the difference, and she’d already lined up Rachael to bring her kids over to keep Harper company until I get back.”
“She did not.”
“She’d m
ake a good covert operative.”
“I talked to her this morning. We fought actually. Sort of. It was good, I thought. She was trying to see things my way for a change. Now she’s throwing you in my face again, as soon as she knew I was good and gone.”
“It’s such a nice face. I don’t mind.”
“I told her I needed time.”
“Time to worry alone?” he asked. “‘If you love my daughter, go be a part of this crazy decision she’s making,’ Barbara said. ‘Don’t let her run away from you, just because she’s afraid.’”
“I’m not afraid.” At least Clair didn’t want to be. Not anymore, not where Conrad was concerned.
He grabbed peanuts from the bowl at his elbow and popped them into his mouth.
“Then I’ll hang out here at the hotel,” he said around chewing, “until you’re done with your meet-and-greet with those PetClub top dogs. Tonight is about you, Clair. We don’t have to do anything but talk when you get back. I’ve registered for my own room. I don’t want to pressure you.”
“Pressuring me is sure as heck what my mother had in mind.”
“I just…” He smoothed a wisp of hair behind Clair’s ear.
“What?”
“Miss you. Already.”
“So you hopped on a plane to wait for hours while I’m taking care of business”—she shivered at the too-good-to-be-true prospect—“just so we can sit and talk again before you head back home in the morning. Nothing more?”
“It’s worth it.” He smiled as if he knew how crazy it sounded, and he didn’t care. “You’re worth it. I’ll take whatever time you can give me, and then I’ll get out of your way. Then day after tomorrow, once you’re done kicking negotiating butt at PetClub headquarters, you’ll come back to Chandlerville, and we’ll talk some more. No strings. No pressure.”
“No pressure?” If only it could be that simple, while confusion and second-guessing and, yes, worry swirled through her.
“Let me be here for you. The merger sounds like the best thing for you and ALL PAWS, but I know you’re rattled. Let me help. Let me be next to you, even if it’s only until your dinner companions arrive. Even if us staying up all night talking makes it easier for you sign the dotted line on their contract, so you can move away from me and Chandlerville.”
Let me be next to you…
And just like that, the ball of anxiety that had been building within Clair—since last night when they’d said goodbye—dissolved. Conrad brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek, and it felt like coming home. As if home had come to her.
Or maybe he was the only home she’d ever need, wherever they were, as long as they somehow found a way to stay just like this.
Maybe…
“If I’m really too much of a distraction,” he added, “I can head back to the airport now.”
She shook her head.
Wondering what it would be like to have him with her, sharing tonight and her plans for tomorrow, had been all she could think about since she’d arrived.
“What if talking isn’t all I want later tonight?” she asked.
She scooted to the edge of her stool, closer to him but not close enough. She took his mouth in a rushed, soul-hungry kiss. The way she hadn’t dared last night on his couch, with Harper just down the hall. Conny returned her need with his own desperation. She squeezed her eyes shut, savoring every second of it.
“Making sure you get exactly what you want”—he pressed his forehead to hers—“sounds like the perfect way to spend the night. It’s only been a day, and I miss you, Clair. I’m happy to be as close as you’ll let me, for as long as you want me here. But I’m not your mother. I would never do anything to make this trip harder for you.”
“You’re not.”
For the first time that day it felt as if she could breathe.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
“Ms. Summerville?” a man said from behind them. “Are we catching you at a bad time?”
Turning away from Conrad, she stood on wobbly legs, leaning into his support when he rose, too.
“Mr. Waterston,” she said to PetClub’s CFO. She reached out a hand to shake with him, and then with the corporation’s Customer Service VP. “Mr. Russell. This is perfect timing.”
Conrad waited quietly. And it was right—the two of them being together on the eve of her potentially solidifying the deal that would catapult her life in a new direction. Standing next to him, the last thing she could ever feel was lonely.
“I’d like you to meet Conrad Livingston, my…boyfriend from Chandlerville.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Mr. Waterson said. He and Conrad shook.
Mr. Russell followed suit. “We’d told Ms. Summerville that it was perfectly fine to bring a significant other to dinner. I’m glad she changed her mind and asked you to join us.”
“No, I…” Conrad shook the other man’s hand. “I don’t mean to barge in, or—”
“Nonsense,” Waterson said. “These dinners are about getting to know folks outside the work environment.”
“If Clair’s excited about you joining us”—Russell’s gaze pivoted back to her—“We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
All three men were looking at her expectantly.
No pressure, Conrad had insisted.
No strings…
And what was it her mother had said about Clair not making a decision until she was sure?
The only thing she was sure of at the moment, was how good it felt to have Conrad’s solid warmth beside her. And how valuable his take would be later, on all that transpired at dinner. Later, when they’d finally have their chance to be together, the way she’d been dreaming of for so long.
Shivering, excited about the night of possibilities ahead of her instead of worrying about Conrad and them and dinner and business, she smiled and retrieved her purse from the bar.
“Shall we head out then, gentlemen?” she said, leading the way with Conrad beside her.
Tonight at least, everything was going to be fine.
Conrad exited their cab first. “You were amazing back there.”
He offered Clair a hand, helping her to the curb outside her hotel. They’d begged off their dinner companions’ offers of a return ride. Now he buried his face in her soft hair.
He kissed behind her ear, raising goose bumps that he then soothed away, running his hands along her arms. It was torture standing there waiting for the cabdriver to make change. As excruciating as it had been for Conrad to sit through their three-hour dinner, while imagining what it would be like to have Clair all to himself once they returned. Assuming that was what she still wanted tonight.
Though it should have been physically impossible, he separated their bodies and finished with the driver. He and Clair stepped closer to the building. But with a touch at her elbow, he stalled her from heading inside.
He had to tell her—she had to know—just how magnificent he thought she was. All of her, especially the savvy, supremely confident entrepreneur who’d impressed and entertained and blown away the executives who’d done their best to smooth the way for tomorrow’s high stakes meeting.
“I mean it,” he said. “You had Waterston and Russell eating out of your hands, talking about your passion for what you do, and putting the customer first, and how that philosophy was the driving force behind your success with PAWSMatch. That you see the animals you care for as your clients as much as their owners. How you and your staff treat each of them as individuals, with personalities and minds of their own. Which ensures that each client experience with you and your crew is unique and positive, and creates a guaranteed return customer. Contract negotiations are so going your way.”
“Not that you’re biased or anything.”
“If those men could clone you, they’d manufacture themselves a couple dozen Clair Summervilles to implement PAWSMatch faster in their PetClub markets.”
But where di
d her impending success leave them?, he could sense her still wondering.
They both were.
“You’re going places, Clair Bear,” he assured her. “Take my word for it.”
“That’s nice of you to say.” She gifted him with a lingering kiss.
“Except I’m not feeling particularly nice at the moment.” He took his time kissing her back, fighting the urge to jump her right there on the sidewalk.
She broke away with a gasp. “Why don’t we head up to my room, and see what we can do about helping your relax?”
Conrad gazed down at her in wonder. What a woman. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He winked, determined to keep things light. She was trying so hard to trust the bond growing between them, no matter how many obstacles remained in their path. He meant what he’d said earlier. He’d come to be near her, not to rush her into wanting more than she was ready to handle.
“You should have everything you want, Clair. From life, from love. I’d never ask you to sacrifice a single dream.”
“I know that.” Trust shone like a benediction in her gaze. The same as it had earlier, when she’d welcomed him along for dinner.
“I just want to be a part of those dreams somehow.”
“You already are, Conrad. Having you with me tonight is amazing.”
“If we take this any farther, things are going to get more complicated.”
“Because of Harper?”
“Because of Harper and the distance between Charlotte and Chandlerville and my work and the new home I’ve finally gotten my son settled into.”
“A home you couldn’t move him away from now,” she conceded.
“We’ll have to take it slow and get a lot of complicated things right, if we want this to work.”
Evening traffic rolled by, the world around them rushing on its way to wherever. But all of it felt in slow motion to Conrad, while Clair drank him in as if he were the only thing she could see.
“Then I guess we better start figuring some of those complicated things out.” She took his hand, leading him toward the revolving doors to the hotel’s foyer.
Waiting for Your Love (Echoes of the Heart) Page 7
