by Alex Shobe
I continue on the path and take measured steps with my eyes closed so I can block out the nature tones—especially an insatiable owl hooting above—and focus on any out-of-place sounds that could lead me to her. I pause and listen. To my right, somewhere in the darkness of the trees, I hear a subtle noise, almost like, sniffling? As I get closer, there’s no doubt that what I’m hearing is someone crying. And not just anyone—Leona.
“Hey...” I approach carefully and she snaps her head up when she sees me.
“What do you want?” She turns away into the shadow of the tree.
“I, uh, wanted to apologize.”
“For what? You were right, weren’t you?”
The sound of her soft sobs chips away at my stubborn exterior, gradually wearing down the pent up anger that I’ve held onto for far too long. At this point, I’m not even sure if it’s her who I’m upset with. But she’s here—an easy target—and the only one available to direct the brunt of my wrath. My eyebrows relax from their firm hold. I jam my hands into my pockets and let my fingers twirl around the frayed edges of the fabric.
“I’m sorry.” The words come out as a whisper between my lips. “I shouldn’t have taken things out on you.”
She quiets for a moment and then steps from behind the tree into the moonlight. Her cheeks glisten as the light catches the tears trailing over her face. She looks up into my eyes, as though she’s contemplating the sincerity of my words.
Her chin trembles but she stiffens it. “I swear I didn’t know.”
“I understand that now.”
She wipes her eyes with the back of her hands. In an attempt to get rid of the pain in her voice, she clears her throat and moves her mouth upward into a weak smile. “It’s been awhile since I last cried. I’m a mess.”
I shrug. “Aren’t we all?”
Her smile widens and she drops her gaze to the ground. She nods but doesn’t say anything. Only the sound of the owl responds.
“Are you okay?” I ask, still maintaining a gentle tone. Not that it’s particularly difficult now. Seeing her like this, her guard let down so low that it’s nonexistent, makes me remember that she’s still human—like me. “I was an ass. You didn’t deserve me tearing you down like that.”
She holds up her hand. “No, I did deserve it. I was so out of touch with what was really going on in my court. I knew the odds were going to be against me, but I—”
“What do you mean?” I step closer and lean against the tree she’d been hiding behind.
“Well, it can’t come as much of a surprise to you that no one was happy when I took the throne.”
“Why not? Did you try to claw their faces off too?” I smirk and glance down at my scratched-up arms.
She leans in close, narrows her eyes on the red welts on my arms, and gasps. “I did that to you?” Her hand rises to cover her mouth, and when she drops it, an uneasy smile is revealed.
My lips pull into a smile of its own, amused at her concern for such a minor injury. Nothing but flesh wounds. I’ve survived much more serious incidents than this.
“It’s okay.” I laugh. “Though, it’s good to know that your fingernails can be used as a deadly weapon if it comes down to it.”
Her smile fades into a frown. I recoil and push off the tree. Did I say something else to offend her?
“What was it like”—she twists her face up and softens her voice—“in the arena?”
I pull a hand out of my pocket and hook it around the back of my neck. There’s a brief silence between us as I take a moment to organize my answer. It’d be easy to just write off the experience by saying it was no big deal, but the fights were anything but. I’ve already given her a taste of what happened, and I’m surprised she wants to know more.
My chest clenches as I try to take a deep breath. “Think of your worst nightmare and then imagine living it daily while you’re set on fire. And imagine that the smoke around you is so thick that every breath you take is suffocating you just enough to leave you clinging for life, but not enough to put you out of your misery.”
She drops her head down into a bow. Her arm swoops around her head as she collects her hair and pulls it to one side. She coils the ends of her stands around a finger, lets it go, then coils it again. I can only imagine the thoughts rolling around in her mind as she tries to grasp the extent of the hell she’d freed us from.
“You said that they forced you all to fight, yes? Threatened to kill your families if you didn’t?” She lifts her head.
I nod once, my eyes locked on hers.
“Did they ever follow through?”
I shrug again and let my eyes roam to the spots of light coming from the city. “At the beginning, yeah. A few men’s families died in a tragic house fire, but we knew better. It didn’t take us long to fall into line after that.”
“Is your family”—she hesitates another beat—“all right?” Her eyes drift from mine and land on my chest.
“As far as I know, yes. I did everything those piece of shit guards demanded of me.”
Leona’s body flinches and she brings her arms up to wrap around her chest. Her hands rub over tiny bumps on her arms raised from the chill in the air. A current of wind grabs the branches in the treetops, and they sway in unison, collectively saying goodbye to the storm as it charges through to another territory.
“Come on.” I nod toward the cave. “Let’s get back to the fire.”
She takes a step toward me and pauses, her eyes glued on the ground before us. “Look,” she whispers. “What is that?”
I sense her caution and mirror it. My head turns slowly until my eyes meet what has caught her attention. My lips turn up into a grin. “That’s dinner.”
With very little turbulence, I crouch down and wrap my fingers around a rock about the size of an apple. My eyes zero in on the rabbit as it nibbles mindlessly on the foliage a few yards away.
Leona stands motionless next to me, watching with intensity as her eyes dart between me and the rabbit. I clutch the rock in my hands, feeling the rough shape for the best grip. Lifting it above my shoulder, my weight shifts onto my back leg, causing a dull crunch under my foot.
The rabbit halts its eating and points its ears in our direction. I hold my breath, the rock hovering over my right shoulder. Before the rabbit has a chance to launch into a sprint, I hurl the rock toward it. Its sharp cry cuts through the forest, outperforming the owl above that takes off in flight.
I stoop over the rabbit as it convulses and struggles to find its footing. My fingers slip around the plush fur of its neck, twisting once to silence its screams and subdue its wrestling.
Behind me, Leona gasps. “Oh, my g—”
I look over my shoulder at her, then stand up. “What? You’ve never had rabbit before?” I hold it out to her, the animal’s limp body hanging in my hand. She steps backward with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
“Yes… but I’ve never seen one killed.”
“Must be rich girl problems.”
She rolls her eyes and steps past me, her arm brushing against mine. “Let’s go back.”
I chuckle to myself and follow her back toward the cave.
“Everything all good now?” Aiden asks when we return.
“More than good.” I hold the rabbit up for him to see. “Leona found us dinner.” I glance at her and grin.
Aiden stares at her with an open mouth that shrinks into a smile. “Really?”
She creases her brows. “Well, I only spotted it. He’s the one who caught it.”
“All the same. Nice work, you two.” Aiden holds his hands up and I toss him the rabbit.
I catch a glimpse of hidden delight on Leona’s face as she sits near the fire. Her eyes crinkle when they meet mine and she forces the beginnings of a smile away. Her gaze diverts to the flames, but I’ve already seen what she’s tried to hide. Peace of mind—and I have a feeling it’s not something she’s used to.
It’s not long before Aiden has the rabbi
t skinned and ready for cooking. With a few spare pieces of wood, he fashions a way to hold the rabbit over the flames until it is completely cooked.
“Thank you,” Leona says as I hand her a section of the meat.
The thought crosses my mind to tease her about the lack of gourmet food she’s probably accustomed to, but I quickly dismiss the notion. Instead, I offer a simple, “You’re welcome,” and take my seat around the fire.
The moon drifts across the night sky in the last few hours before sunrise. I’m so exhausted, but I can’t sleep. Insomnia—a side effect of my time in the dungeons. I keep my mind busy and tend to the fire, adding more kindling when the flames begin to die down.
Aiden lies stretched out on his back, one arm resting over his stomach while the other’s pulled up near his head. His chest rises and falls in a steady tempo, and a soft whistle sneaks past his mouth on each exhale.
In a way, I’m envious of him. His mind hasn’t yet been forever warped by the memories our twisted reality. The guards stole his freedom two weeks ago when he was brought in during the last round of phony arrests. ‘He attacked a guard,’ they said. Lies. In the short time I’ve known him, I know being combative isn’t one of his attributes.
I lay the last piece of wood into the fire and pull myself to my feet. Loaded thoughts cloud my mind. They roam free and wield a weapon far worse than the finest Erenese sword. Their constant threat to drag me into a dark place looms overhead. Mentally, my legs never stop running from it. But someday, those legs might collapse.
I step with caution past the sleeping bodies on the ground. Leona lies on her side toward the fire, her face nuzzled into the crook of her elbow. She didn’t say much after dinner, though, I guess that’s to be expected. It’s been a long day for all of us.
At the cave opening, I lean a shoulder against the wall and look out into the forest. The night is quiet except for the occasional croak of a frog. At least I’m not the only one around here who can’t sleep.
This all feels surreal. Part of me keeps waiting to blink and find myself back in the dungeons, back with a blood-crusted sword in my hand as I stand over a friend’s body. I’d long accepted that I would never see another sunrise. I’d grown used to the idea that I’d never lay eyes on my parents again—that I’d never hear another of my mother’s endless words of wisdom or help my father with the chores when the pain of his arthritis is too great. And now, my future has changed.
I look up through the treetops at the twinkling lights in the sky. There’s not as many out here than as when I’m at home. Must have something to do with all the lamps in the city. Back in Maburh, we don’t have the luxury of running more than a handful of street lamps all night. I guess that’s what separates the villages from Demesne and the other cities. The differences are black and white, or more accurately, dark and light.
It never made much sense to me why the eight villages were depended on to produce the goods and shell out labor, and yet the nobles in the cities reaped the benefits. Those in Demesne live an easier life only because of their family name. The wealthy stay wealthy—and free.
I press my hands against my eyes. So tired. It’ll be nice to be back home. Maybe I’ll find much needed rest in my own bed. Maybe all I need to take back control of my sanity is to look upon my parents’ faces and bask in the comfort of returning home to them. We may not share the same blood, but they’ve been my family for long enough.
I close my eyes and try to picture our cramped home with the leaking roof that never stays fixed. ‘That’ll hold it,’ Pa would say, only for the roof to prove him wrong during the next storm. I wonder how well it fared today. How many pails did my mother have to empty to keep the kitchen from flooding? The inner corners of my eyes begin to burn, and I blink back the impending tears. I slip my hand inside my collar and feel for my pendant, but I’m met with bare skin. A sinking feeling seizes my body and I scan the ground in a fit of wildness.
I can’t lose it. Of all the things I own, I can’t lose my pendant. It’s the only thing that reminds me of my previous life.
With my eyes still fixed to the ground, I step back inside the cave and give a quick glance around before returning outside. My chest tightens. I check my neck again as though I’d somehow missed it the first time. Sweat beads along my brows and I hurry through the woods, backtracking to the areas where my feet touched. I’d had my pendant right before Leona sent us into the crevice, and I offer a silent prayer that it’s not back in the hole.
As I weave through the trees, my eyes, already strained from fatigue, try to catch any hope of my pendant. I approach the crevice cautiously. The ground is still soggy and slick from the rain. I peer into the hole, but there’s nothing but darkness at the bottom. A brief thought crosses my mind. It’d be worth it to jump back into the hole to check for it. Whether or not I’ll be able to get back out, that’s a whole other thought entirely.
I fall to my knees at the edge of the crevice, then shift so my legs dangle inside. My boots bump into the thick branch still set in place. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them, my gaze falls on the slope at the other side of the crevice—where Leona and I collided. A small piece of metal gleams in the moonlight. A sharp inhale cools the heat under my skin. That has to be it. I clamber to my feet, nearly slipping into the hole in the process.
When I reach the other side, there it is, tucked into the mud, the turquoise gem hazy from grime. I pluck it out and wipe it clean with my shirt. The chain is cold as I slip it over my head, but the pendant offers a surge of warmth as it settles against my chest.
A soft chuckle eases the tension in my shoulders as I bring the gem to my lips. I whisper Daolic words to it, a language I refuse to let anyone else in this country hear. You are forever with me, Mama.
Leona
My feet hammer against the tile floor, each footfall propelling me forward with more agility than I’ve ever thought possible. I look over my shoulder and catch a glimpse of the dark shadow following close behind. The air in my lungs turns cold and I turn my attention back in front of me. The identical stark red doors lining the corridor turn into a crimson streak as I sprint past them. The doors are unfamiliar to me. I’ve lived in this castle my whole life, yet I can’t remember coming across this corridor. And, when did we get red doors?
A low rumble travels down the passage, vibrating from the floors and up the walls, rattling the gold framed portraits with enough oscillation that they fall to the ground with a thunderous clunk. One after another, the portraits cascade to the ground as I pass them. I don’t let it distract me, though. I need to get away. I’m running—running as fast as I can manage without losing my balance on the increasingly unsteady flooring. As my feet touch each tile, the ceramic falls through the floor into the deep trenches of whatever is down there. I’d look, but I can’t stop running. I won’t stop.
The shadow is getting closer—I can feel it. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight and ice spreads across my shoulder blades. The scent of ashes fills my nose and glazes my tongue. The air around me becomes denser, as though its weight is pushing me to the ground and slowing my speed.
I stumble further down the corridor and pause at the upcoming red door. It’s open wide but reveals a wall of darkness inside. A burst of icy air pours from the room, blowing my hair like a flag behind me. I step toward it, my hands flying to my face to shield from the blast. The door slams shut when I reach the threshold. My shaking fingers grasp the doorknob, but it doesn’t budge.
I dash to the door across the hall, and it’s tightly sealed shut as well. I pound my palms on the door in a desperate plea for it to open. When I withdraw my hands, my palms are covered in red paint.
No… not paint. The texture is thinner and murkier—this is blood.
Blood pours from my fingers and pools at my feet like an unattended faucet. My eyes dart from one hand to the other and I take a step backward, leaving behind a bloody footprint. A solid mass behind me stops me in my
tracks. When I pivot, my eyes settle on the familiar face of Aerok, though something is not right. Black fills his glossy eyes and they no longer offer the same deceptive warmth as before. He peers down at me and strength drains from my body, like somehow my energy—my life—is seeping out of my pores and collecting into nothingness. Instinct tells me to move, but he holds my gaze with nothing but my icy breath between us.
Aerok opens his mouth and reveals rows of stacked needle-like teeth. His jaw drops until his chin is level with the base of his neck. I open my own mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. There’s tension on my vocal cords, but my ears are deaf to the sound that should’ve followed. The distance between my life and death slims when his head lowers to mine. He smells of misery and demise, and the odor burns my nostrils and waters my eyes.
My body tenses, or at least I think it does. I’m paralyzed in place and the only movement I can manage is my eyes widening as this ghoul of a man comes closer. Venom drips from his teeth and sears my forehead on contact. The pain should probably be unbearable, but my body is numb, and my strength has been stolen.
I squeeze my eyes shut as his acid breath roasts my face and shakes my body.
“Leona.”
My eyes snap open. Aiden is kneeling beside me with his hand cupped on my shoulder. His eyebrows pull up in confusion.
“Are you all right?” He drops his cool fingertips from my overheated skin.
I sit up, my balance unsteady, my stomach and head churning with nausea. I wipe sweat and damp hair from my forehead with the back of my hand. My heart is pounding, and I take a second to calm my racing nerves.
I nod, but that just makes the nausea swirl faster. “Bad dream, I guess.”
His lips stretch up into a wistful smile. “Yeah, sounded like it. You were screaming.”
I reach for my throat. “Sorry...”
