by Erin Osborne
After I cleaned up the bedroom last night, I fell into bed and crashed hard. When I woke this morning, I was sore in so many places I forgot I had. I took a quick shower and headed down to the kitchen to make some breakfast. My mind is filled with things to accomplish today. I want to finish cleaning so that everything is fresh and clean, I also need to explore outside and see if things are really as good as they seemed last night. I had forgot about grandma’s ‘she shed’ as we named it that was probably filled with stuff to sort out as well. I hoped that she had a lawnmower and weed eater as well, so that I didn’t need to go buy one. I had no idea how to put one of those together and was not really interested in learning. There’s always the possibility that I could hire a company to do the mowing and yard stuff for me. That’s something to think about in the upcoming days though.
Grabbing my half of a bagel, I walk out the front porch and sit on the swing. Just taking in the quietness and peacefulness of the morning. Not having my mother and sister yelling at me and putting me down is a blessing I would thank my grandma for every day. I’m enjoying the sounds of the birds chirping and the gentle breeze from the trees that hide the coming heat of the day. I am in my own little world and don’t notice that I am once again being watched.
Chapter Three
Bear
IT’S BEEN ABOUT A WEEK SINCE I MET CALLIE. She came in and turned my entire world upside down just from a little bit of time in her presence. Callie is sweet, innocent probably in every way imaginable, and the kind of girl that you want by your side. She’ll have your back when times are tough, when you need support in everything from simple tasks to feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on your shoulders and will know what it takes to put up with a man that’s hard to love. Everything that I want but know that she’s untouchable. That doesn’t stop her from being on my mind every second of the day though.
The guys in the shop are constantly asking me about her. I swear, they spend more time gossiping like a bunch of teeny boppers than they do any actual work! I’ve never once answered their questions about Callie, and I won’t. The farther she stays away from them, the better off she’ll be. I’m sure she’s got enough on her plate right now and doesn’t need any extra bullshit added to it. So, I try to ignore the ribbing and questions tossed my way throughout the day.
Today we’re really busy, so hopefully I won’t have to listen to them run their mouths. As I sit down at the bike a customer brought in to be restored, a song by Staind comes on and I can’t help but let my mind wander once again to Callie. I was surprised to see the CDs sitting on the seat of her car. Silvia always listened to country so I guess I figured that Callie would too. But she obviously has a broad taste in music based on the music in her car.
Trying to get lost in taking apart the bike in front of me, I barely hear the loud rumble of a bike pulling into the parking lot. It’s a hot day out so the bay doors are all wide open. Looking up I see Grave getting off his bike and heading directly for me. I know none of the guys have work coming in, so he must be here for another reason.
“What’s up, Grave?” I ask, turning my focus back to the task at hand.
“Just stopped by to see you. Gotta talk to ya about somethin’,” he says, sitting down on a crate that’s sitting behind me.
“Oh yeah?” I ask, sparing him a quick glance as I continue doing my job.
“Yep. When you gonna join us?” he asks, leaning back against the wall.
“We’ve been over this, Grave. If it’s not you, one of the other guys are askin’. I like my life the way it is. The only thing I want to do is work and live a simple life,” I respond, sighing and turning around to face him. “You’ve got guys comin’ in all the time wantin’ to join. Why me?”
“Cause we’ve known you for years. Hell, Psycho, Smokey, and you used to be inseparable. Then you took over the garage and now we barely see you,” he answers, pulling out a smoke and lighting up.
“I go there and hang out, have a few beers with you guys. When I’m workin’ it’s hard to get away. I don’t need to be a member to hang with you guys, do I?” I ask, knowing the answer already.
“You say it’s hard to get away, but whenever one of us calls, you’re right there. What’s the real reason you won’t join?” Grave asks, knowing that there’s more to the story than what I’m saying.
“I’ll always help you guys out and you know that. It’s not as simple as that anymore,” I answer vaguely.
“You seen Callie around?” he asks, knowing that she’s playing a part in my decision not to join now.
“Nope. Haven’t seen her since she left here. She got mad because I wouldn’t take her money,” I say, turning back around and beginning to work again.
“You know she’s not untouchable, right?” he asks, knowing the thoughts I have swirling in my mind already. It’s creepy how Grave can read people without even trying.
“She’s untouchable and that’s that,” I grumble back, letting him know it’s not up for discussion.
“Well, I’m sayin’ she’s not and I might make a play for her. She looks better than I remember,” Grave says, trying to get a response from me. He’ll be disappointed.
“Hope you can make one another happy,” I mumble, barely loud enough for him to hear as I begin to wrench harder than necessary on the bolts in front of me.
“Yeah, think I’m gonna go pay her a visit right now,” he responds, standing up and crushing his cigarette under hit boot before making his way back out to his bike.
Shaking my head, I continue to work while the guys leave me alone. I’m sure that they know I’m pissed off now that Grave has left. I can’t really blame him if he makes a play for Callie. If I didn’t know Grave and how he is with women, I’d be pissed as fuck. But he treats them like queens. Even if it’s just a quick fuck, the girl he’s with is treated like a gift that he needs to protect. Completely different from the man that looks intimidating as fuck with his tattoos and like he’d laugh while tearing a person limb from limb. At the same time, I wish I had the balls to go after her myself. I don’t though and she’ll never know just how much I want to be with her. She’ll be protected if she’s with Grave or another member of Satan’s Anarchy.
I need to stop thinking of Callie and who’s eventually going to end up with her. The only thing I’m accomplishing right now is driving myself crazy. Knowing that I have to take a break and get away from this bike for a few minutes, I throw down my tools and make my way out of the shop. Taking the path that leads from the shop to my house, I make my way there so I can sit by the lake and take a few minutes to myself. Grave is really getting under my skin with the thought of him taunting me with going after the girl that’s invading my thoughts and dreams since I drove up and laid eyes on her.
Callie is a beautiful girl, don’t get me wrong. But, it’s more than that. She’s pure and doesn’t think her looks are important. Honestly, I don’t think she truly knows how gorgeous she is. Or how big her heart is. It’s the fact that I know she is trying to get her life on track. We all know a little bit of what it was like growing up, now that she’s moved away, she can finally live and experience things for the first time. On her own. That’s a big reason why I’m telling myself that she’s untouchable. Callie needs to learn what she wants in life without anything getting in the way of that. I certainly won’t be the one to stop her.
Silvia was always talking about how Callie wanted to get out on her own and help her grandma with the Christmas tradition of giving gifts to children and adults that were victims of domestic violence. Her parents didn’t see the point and would never let her around here when everything was being prepared. From the poker runs to other charitable donations that were given to help support Silvia’s pet project. To going through stores and buying the gifts that would find their way under Christmas trees and finally wrapping everything up and delivering it to the homes and shelters. I was there one day when Callie called and was in tears because once again her parents
wouldn’t let her come to help. It broke her grandma’s heart to hear her tears through the phone.
As I sit on the grass at the edge of the small lake on my property, I think about the day that Satan’s Anarchy and myself were at Silvia’s. She was talking to us about going for custody of Callie. But she was eighteen and there was no way that a court would help her at that point. Her main priority was trying to get her granddaughter away from her asshole parents and with her. She never got the chance to do that though. Leaving Callie, the house was her way to protect the little girl that took up residence in her heart and was the light of her life.
Now that I’ve had a little bit of time to sit and think back on all the stories that Silvia used to tell me, she’d spend hours talking to me about her granddaughter, the more I feel her taking root in my mind. While I don’t want Grave, or any other fucker, getting near Callie, I don’t know if I can cross that bridge myself. I wouldn’t ever do anything to her the girl that I’ve heard so much about. That’s not why I can’t bring myself to go there with her. The thing that’s stopping me is I want her to live a full life and experience everything her heart desires. Can I stand by and make sure that she does that? Will she be content to be with me, and only me, for the rest of her life? Because I sure as fuck know that if I cross that line and make a move on Callie, I won’t let her go.
Nothing is going to be solved by sitting here on my ass. So, I get back up and make my way back to the shop. None of the guys say a single word to me as I continue tearing apart the bike sitting on the lift in my bay. For the rest of the afternoon I’ll concentrate on this, something that I love doing, and worry about everything else later on.
Work has been over for a while and I’m debating going back in the shop to finish tearing down the bike. I’m currently sitting at home alone and my mind won’t shut off. Not only about Callie, but about the continued offer to join Satan’s Anarchy. It’s not like I haven’t seriously thought about joining the men I consider friends; I have. I’m just not sure that it’s worth it with some of the shit they’re rumored to get into. Before I can head back to work, I hear my phone going off.
“’Lo?” I answer, not bothering to look at the caller I.D.
“What’s up Bear?” Psycho asks from the other end. I can hear laughter and music in the background and know he’s at the bar or clubhouse.
“Sittin’ here enjoyin’ a beer,” I respond, waiting to hear what he wants after Grave’s earlier visit today.
“Come to the clubhouse,” he says, the background noise getting quieter as he walks away from whatever’s going on there. “We’re just hangin’ out.”
“I don’t know. Was thinkin’ ‘bout goin’ back to work,” I tell him honestly, standing up and making my way to the house so I can get rid of my beer bottle.
“You work too fuckin’ hard. Come hang out and have a few drinks with me,” Psycho says, not taking no for an answer.
“We’ll see,” I answer before hanging up, not committing to going anywhere. But if I know anything at all, he’ll just show up here with Smokey to get me there. It’s not the first time, but I should get out. Hell, I feel like all I do is spend my time at the shop anymore.
I take care of my bottle and snatch my keys off the counter before making my way out to my bike. As I walk outside to my dad’s old bike that I’ve finally finished restoring, I think of the first time he took me for a ride on it. I’d never had so much fun in my life! That’s the second I fell in love with bikes and knew that as soon as I was old enough, I’d have one too. Instead, my dad ended up letting his sit and start to rot away to nothing. So, the first thing I did was rebuild it so that I could bring it back to life.
Turning the bike on, I sit and let the rumble and vibrations fill me with a sense of peace and freedom that I only get when I’m riding. I let all thoughts of the shop, life, and the loneliness that sometimes fills me go and don’t think about any of it. I’d ride a lot more if I joined Satan’s Anarchy, but I’m still not decided on that. Letting all the thoughts go, I take off and ride for a little bit before heading toward the clubhouse. To get there, I ride past Callie’s house and manage to catch a glimpse of her sitting out on the front porch. She looks up as I ride by and I almost want to turn in her driveway and talk to her, but I don’t. I continue on to the clubhouse where I can have a few drinks and laugh with friends.
As soon as I pull in, I see Bishop, Smokey, and Psycho standing outside. They’re looking at the bike that Bishop just got. A customer came into the shop, a weekend warrior, and wanted a complete overhaul done on his bike to make it look badass. When Bishop got done with it, the customer decided that he didn’t want the bike. It wasn’t because of anything that the Prospect did to it, he double checked with the customer every step of the way. No, he got married and his new bride didn’t want him riding a bike. So, he sold it to my friend for cheap. Now, he’s showing it off to anyone that will look at it and spend a few minutes talking to him about the showpiece sitting in front of them. Hell, I would be too. The work and time he put in on the machine is amazing.
“Bear!” Smokey calls out, leaving the other two behind to come meet me as I park my bike.
“What’s up Smoke?” I ask, knowing that it’s been a while since I’ve seen him.
“Same ol’ shit, just a different fuckin’ day,” he responds, giving me a man hug and slapping me on the back.
“Hear that,” I say, walking with him toward the clubhouse.
“What’s up with that new girl you helped out the other day?” he asks, talking about Callie. Guess Grave couldn’t keep his mouth shut about it. “Saw her the other day in the store and she’s hot as sin and doesn’t even know it. The guys that were with us were salavatin’ over her.”
“Nothin’. She’s Silvia’s granddaughter and you know what that means,” I answer, my tone going low with the rage I feel at the thought of anyone wanting her.
“Not untouchable to you,” Psycho responds, joining us as we enter the clubhouse. “You really have no fuckin’ clue, do you?”
“About what?” I ask, confusion taking over, and I’ve just stepped through the damn door.
“That Silvia wanted you with Callie. That’s why she spent so much time talkin’ to you about her. Yeah, we all heard the stories and shit, but she spent most of the time with you. I guarantee most of your conversations were about her precious baby girl,” Psycho says, sitting down at a table far enough away from the bar so we can still talk.
I think about what he just said and try to remember if Silvia singled me out more than any of the other guys. Before I can contemplate it too much, Rusty, one of the club whores or Satan’s babes as they’re called, brings us over drinks. As she sets my beer in front of me, Rusty runs her longs nails down my chest and gives me a wink. She’s had her eye on me ever since I started coming around. I’m not in the club and I don’t make use of the girls here though. So, she can keep dreaming.
“When you gonna give her your time?” Smokey asks, craning his neck so he can watch her walk back toward the bar.
“I’m not. Not part of the club so I won’t touch the babes,” I tell him, taking a pull of my beer as I wait for more questions while trying not to think about Psycho saying that Silvia wanted me with Callie.
“Guys, you know I want to hang out, but I think I’m going to go have a turn with Rusty,” Smokey says, leaving his drink on the table as he heads toward Rusty.
Psycho and I shake our heads as we watch Smokey grab Rusty and lead her toward the back where they’re rooms are. He’s always chasing the next girl to fuck and has no problem finding them wherever he is. Hell, one night we were out at a bar the Phantom Bastards own and I watched him take three different girls in back throughout the night to get his dick wet. It’s not my thing, but I’m certainly not going to mock the man for getting what he wants when he wants it. It’s not like he’s attached to anyone right now so more power to him.
“So, you really had no clue that Silvia was givin’
you her blessin’ to be with Callie?” Psycho asks me, turning the attention back to me.
“No. I figured she just wanted to talk about her and needed an ear to listen,” I answer him, not knowing what to make of this new information.
“From what Grave says, the two of you had instant somethin’ goin’ on,” he says, leaning back in his chair and keeping his gaze on me. “You want her?”
“It’s more than me wantin’ her,” I tell him, not beginning to have any idea about what I want from her.
“We got someone on the house. He’s watchin’ her to make sure that no one makes any moves against her. With this rival club comin’ in, we don’t want anythin’ to happen to her,” he tells me, letting me in on a little bit of club business. “She doesn’t leave much. There was one day last week she left for a few hours, but she’s been stickin’ close to home.”
I absently nod my head as Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton begins to flow through the speakers of the clubhouse. Psycho sits back and drains the rest of his beer before relaxing. I know that he’s been gone on a run and that the stress Renegade feels is making all the guys a bit jumpy. Hell, even Grave hasn’t been his usual self the last day or so. You can definitely see why he’s called Grave. That’s not what has me quiet though. I’m wondering what Callie’s been up to since I last saw her.
“You with me?” Psycho asks, sitting back closer to the table.
“Yeah,” I respond, pulling free of my thoughts to pay attention to my friend.
“Heard Grave talked to you about joinin’ again,” he says, bringing the elephant in the room out once again.
“Yeah. I don’t know what I want to do. It’s not like I’m not ever here, but I don’t want all the chaos that seems to follow you guys around,” I answer, knowing that he knows how I feel on the subject because Psycho has been on me to join since he began prospecting with Smokey.
