by Lotus Rose
Sleepy B’s voice, sounding meek and quiet: “Malice? You sure are giving the flower quite an eye. It’s like you’re lusting for it. Is he your new boyfriend, Maly?” She giggles teasingly, but partway through, it turns into a chuckle of nervousness.
Malice continues staring—creepily, she admits to herself—at that potted pleasure flower, as she says, “If I choose the rose, we can both be happy—you’ll get to be asleep and I’ll get to be blitzed and oblivious. It’ll be win, win!”
“That it shall,” Sleepy B says, but she sounds slightly doubtful.
“Don’t do it, Maly!” the Cat says. “Don’t give in to the rose’s bitter sweet seduction, for it will only take you away from life, from your friends, from anything real and worthwhile!”
“Oh, poo,” Malice says. “You’re like a goody-two-shoes without feet. I thought you weren’t supposed to interfere!”
“I’m not interfering. You still get to make your choice. I’m just speaking to you as...you know...”
“A friend?” Malice says teasingly.
“Yes, as your...furry companion.” (“Friend,” whispers Malice.) “I am asking you not to fall for the black rose’s tricks. It’s pleasures are more like torments, and its intoxication provides a false state. Instead, choose to face thrilling adventures, and to stay sober, at the side of your friends.”
Sleepy B says, “Am I your friend—oops, I mean your ‘furry companion’—too, kitty?”
“Yes, you are, Sleepy.” His embarrassment at admitting it has vanished. “Which is why I don’t want you to go to sleep forever. Why, how would I be able to talk to you? And you wouldn’t talk back, wouldn’t be able to bug me the way you do, anymore!”
“Awww, you’re a sweet little kitty,” Sleepy B says. “But I quite enjoy sleeping. It’s the only thing I’m good at. And if the black rose shall make Maly happy...”
“But neither of you will be happy. You’ll just be...numb to the world.”
“But in my dreams I can make my outsides look like my insides, and be a fierce, deadly jabberwock. I wanna be a monster.” She scowls and crosses her arms.
“You’ll always be a little vicious beast to me,” the Cat says sweetly. “My little hellspawn hellcat.”
Sleepy B’s expression brightens. “You’re so sweet!”
And Malice can’t help but be overwhelmed with compassion while watching those two. Even though the love in her heart has been reset to the beginning, Malice still considers her a close friend, and would miss her—and she’s sure that, with time, her love for the girl shall return.
But still, the allure of the black rose is so very tempting. So very addictive. She knows that if she gives herself over to it, it shall take over her life, and rob her of authentic joy. Yet a masochistic part of herself wants to destroy herself in its darkly sweet oblivion.
I must act quickly, while I still have the resolve! “Sleepy B, if you wish to be a monster, you may be a raccoon girl with big raccoon eyes. You know why?”
“Hmm? Raccoon?” Sleepy B says.
“Because I choose...the eyeliner pencil of week-long application!” She points dramatically at the pencil, with trembling hand.
“Excellent choice, mademoiselle,” says the male servant munchkin, and Malice curtsies at him, just to be silly.
Sleepy B says, “Aww, why’d you go and do that, Maly? I mean, I appreciate the gesture, but you love the black rose so so much, I know.”
Malice answers, “Because partaking of the black rose is a trap, and now that I have a functioning heart, I no longer need enter its sinister clutches.”
Sleepy B whimpers. “But now I’ll feel guilty if I choose to go back to sleep.”
“Oh, please,” Malice says. She picks up the eyeliner stick and waggles it into a blur as she says, “You’re gonna have to get out of bed to use it, and as Fred said, you’ll have to keep your eyes open to apply it. And then you shall want your team around you so we can ogle and adore how cute you look in your eye makeup, right?”
“I wanna look sultry,” Sleepy B whines.
“Regardless, still gotta stay awake...” She holds the eyeliner stick upright in her hand for the girl. Of course, Sleepy B will have to get out of bed and walk three feet if she wants to get ahold of it.
Fred catches Malice’s eye, so she looks at him, says, “Yes, Fred?” as she hears Sleepy B shout in exasperation, “Alright! I relent!”
“Do you rebuke the black rose?” Fred says to Malice.
“Uh, sure,” Malice replies as she hears the rustling of blankets behind her.
Fred says, “Then won’t you please say the phrase, ‘Black rose, I rebuke thee’?”
“I’ll be taking that,” Sleepy B says. And the stick is snatched from Malice’s hand, but she doesn’t flinch or turn to look at Sleepy B.
Instead, Malice quirks her mouth and says to Fred, “That’s a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”
“A tad bit, yes,” Fred says, “But the Road has something in store, if you explicitly utter your declaration of formal rebukation.”
“Anybody have a looking glass?” Sleepy B calls out—she’s obviously craving attention.
Sleepy B is wearing her chainmail dress, Malice notices. Malice’s right eyebrow arches.
“What?” Sleepy B says. “It’s very comfortable and lightweight—it’s magic material, remember? Now about the looking glass...”
“Hold on, sweety. Wanna rebuke with me?” (“Absolutely,” Sleepy B says.) “You too, Cat. You know what to say, right?” They reply in the affirmative. “Alright, ready, and...”
Malice lifts both of her hands in the air, performs a wiggly wavy sort of dance in which she bends down at her knees, points at the potted flower and proclaims, “Black rose, I rebuke thee!” At the same time, Sleepy B says, “We rebuke thee,” and the Cat says, “She rebukes thee.”
The flower trembles and almost seems to cringe as it wilts slightly, before issuing smoke. It bursts into flames, as it begins to violently shake.
“Oh no!” the female servant shouts. “It’s gonna blow!” She grabs the flower pot—the platter and dome fall to the ground—and she runs forward, hurls the flower pot onto the Road. The pot cracks apart upon the yellow bricks and is consumed by the fireball of a small explosion.
“Crikey,” Sleepy B says, as Malice looks at where the pot used to be with her mouth hanging open.
The female munchkin servant giggles. “Pretty impressive, aye? The Road likes to liven things up.”
“Jolly spectacular show,” the Cat says.
“Boom! Pow!” Sleepy B reenacts, making clawy hands. “Hey, so who has a looking glass?”
The female munchkin tips her head to the side where the male servant had been. He must’ve stepped out while Malice’s back was turned. “He went to fetch you one,” the female munchkin says. She giggles again for some reason.
Now Fred says to the female munchkin, “You did an excellent job.”
“Thank you,” she says. She giggles for some unknown reason.
Fred gestures with his hand at her. “This is Elisa. She’ll be replacing Martina as your female guide.”
Elisa squeals and clasps her hands together. “Golly gosh! You mean it?”
“Of course. Just remember what we discussed about the joking and giggling.”
“You got it, my good man!” She giggles. She clamps her hand over her mouth to silence herself.
“Yes, well...Elisa shall be a better guide for you. She detests Dorothy as much as I do.” (At that moment, the male servant steps out from behind the tree, holding a hand mirror.) “Don’t you?” Fred completes.
“Oh, yes! I should like to tickle her to death.”
Malice and Sleepy B share a look, before Sleepy B reaches out and grabs the mirror.
“Thank you,” Sleepy B says and nods.
The male servant bows quietly.
Fred stiffens—his eyes shift to looking upward, as if he’s in thought. “Speaking of Dorothy, she and the
Tin Knight have gone through their first situation. They are walking along the Road right now. We must hurry, or they shall be upon us!” And to illustrate his haste, he runs toward the Road. Everyone else except the male servant rush to catch up with him.
Fred says to Sleepy B, “You may apply your eyeliner during the next situation. Let’s go!”
From further back on the trail, Dorothy and the Tin Knight suddenly appear on the Road. Unlike last time, Dorothy’s dress is pulled up, covering her front—well, mostly covering—she is displaying deep cleavage.
“Alice, wait!” Dorothy shouts. “I just wish to talk to you! Why won’t you talk to me!”
Malice shouts, “I’m Malice!” before she and the team take off running.
And since only small distances in any direction are visible in the realm of the Road, Dorothy and the Tin Knight promptly disappear from sight.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
THEY SEE HUMPTY LOUNGING on a red couch set in a grassy field at the side of the Road. He is surrounded by a group of six munchkin girls wearing baggy green jumpsuits and green silken veils over their mouths and noses. Two of the girls are slowly fanning Humpty with floppy big green palm fronds. Three of the girls stand at attention, each holding a batch of grapes. And another girl stands at a harp—she strums a calming tune.
Humpty sees them, grins, beckons them over.
As they walk over, Malice says to Fred, “Do we need to worry about Dorothy showing up?”
Fred says, “They are currently indisposed with their own situation which has been presented to them.”
“You mean that the Road has devised for them.”
“The Ways of the Road are mysterious,” Fred says.
“Eh, whatever.”
They stand in front of the couch now.
Humpty says, “Good morning. Did you sleep well? I had some weird dreams from that poppy dust.”
Sleepy B leans in close to Humpty, scrunches her face at him and in a croaky, wavering voice, says, “I alllmost slept toooo well.”
Humpty draws back a little. “Begging your pardon?”
“Oh, don’t mind her,” Malice says. “She’s just being weird.”
“Weird and fabulous!” Sleepy B proclaims. “And now, thanks to Malice, you shall have to put up with me for ever and ever, and nothing will change my mind.” She gives a wink to Malice. “Now please excuse me while I do my eyes.”
Fred says, “I’m afraid we must not dally. Let us proceed to addressing this situation. Humpty, this is your new female guide, Elisa.”
Elisa curtsies, says, “Top o’ the morning to ya,” in a very bad Irish accent, and giggles.
Humpty looks at her with puzzlement, before saying, “Pleasure to meet you. But what happened to Martina, if I may ask.”
The Cat says, “Unfortunately, she had to be dropped.” He snickers.
“Why?”
The Cat smirks. “It seems she couldn’t handle the break neck pace.”
Humpty says, “I don’t gather your meaning,” as Sleepy B momentarily stops applying eyeliner to say, “Is our pace breakneck?”
Malice says, “Quit playing around, snickery kitty. Martina was...fired for summoning Dorothy and the Tin Knight, who happen to be chasing us by the way, so please, Guide Frederick and Guide Elisa, please proceed with your guidance.”
“Done!” Sleepy B proclaims. She meets Humpty’s eyes. “Whaddya think? Do they make my eyes pop?”
“Oh, yes. Very cute.”
“That’s not the kind of eye popping I prefer,” mutters the Cat.
“I’m trying to look sultry!” Sleepy B says, with a snarl.
Malice groans. “Everyone be quiet! As Queen, I command it!”
“Whatever it is, I like it,” Humpty says to Sleepy B.
“Silence! I command thee!” Malice ordains.
Sleepy B says to Humpty, “Yes, I can tell you like girls’ eyes, since that’s all I can see on these. I knew you were afraid of girls, but are you now even scared of their noses and mouths?”
One of the grape-holding girls says, “Our Master need never be afraid again.”
“Is anybody listening to me?” Malice whimpers.
Sleepy B scoffs, says, “Master?!” before turning to Malice and saying, “Hmm? Why? Did you say something?”
Malice scowls and is about to reply, but is cut off by Fred saying, “As your guides, we are here to inform you that this situation concerns you, Humpty. You must decide whether you wish to join Malice and the others on their journey down the Road...” He glances at Elisa, who jolts in surprise, and says, “...or the other choice it is that you can choose, yes, which is, uh...to stay for eternity here on the side of the road with your bevy of unfrightening female munchkin servants.” She giggles a little, now giggles a little more, before giggling way too long—finally, with an embarrassed expression, she stops, giving forth a final hiccup.
“Is something funny about my predicament?” Humpty says in offense.
“Oh, no, not at all,” Elisa answers. “I was just thinking about what a funny word ‘bevy’ is. I mean, what is that? ‘Bevy’.” After reading the expression on Humpty’s face, she says, “It’s really not that funny. Sorry.”
“What does she mean by ‘unfrightening’?” Malice says.
“Just that,” Humpty answers. “Everything in my little set up here is designed to be not scary to me.” He looks down and mutters, “To my great shame, I must add.”
Malice chooses not to press him on the point. Instead, she says, “Humpty, sweety, are you truly considering staying here for the rest of your life? Letting us go on without you, when you know we’d miss you so terribly?”
Humpty scowls briefly, before taking on a more pleasant expression. “But would you truly?” He sighs. “After all, you have a brand new heart, so you’re starting over with all your feelings, right? Perhaps it’s better to just go on without me, turn over a new leaf. After all, who needs a—” He shakes his head.
Malice’s brow furrows in concern. “A what?”
“Never mind,” Humpty mumbles, and looks at the ground in that irritating manner of his.
But Malice doesn’t let her irritation show. Gently, she says, “Yes, it’s true, that I’m starting all over, as far as any romantic feelings for you, but my memories of all the good times we shared together are still intact, and I still have very strong feelings of friendship for you. With time, I’m sure my romantic feelings shall be revived, but you have to come with us. Please, Humpty sweety.”
“Don’t call me ‘sweety’,” he says. “It only causes me pain, because of...my feelings for you. Would you like to know the real reason these servant girls are wearing veils?” He looks to Sleepy B. “You teased me that you think I’m afraid of girls.” He stares at the ground as he continues, “And it’s true. They wear veils so that I won’t be intimidated by their beauty, their clothes are baggy so that the shape of their bodies won’t make me nervous. That harp she’s playing, it’s to keep me calm, so that I don’t get too anxious. Even the grapes were selected to be nonthreatening food. The Road has devised this little spot for me, where I don’t ever need to be afraid again, because everything is nonfrightening.”
“Not this again!” Malice says. “Humpty, I consider you a dear friend, but sometimes I’m utterly frustrated by your own underestimation of yourself. You chose to come on this quest—that in itself was brave—you could’ve just stayed in the castle.”
“I could’ve, and now I can choose to stay here.” He pauses for a moment, while staring at the ground—he seems to be gathering his resolve. “Do you know why I came on this quest? To be near you, and to be able to help you if you were in danger. Because the truth is...” He raises his head and meets Malice’s eyes. “I love you, Maly.”
Malice and Sleepy B both gasp, and Humpty looks away.
Malice presses her hand to her chest. “Humpty, I didn’t realize. I’m so honoured.”
He says, “Honoured, but you don’t feel the
same, obviously, since you have your new heart.”
“I still have my strong feelings of friendship,” Malice says.
“But those other feelings are gone. If you ever felt anything like love for me, you don’t anymore.”
“But in the future, if you join us...”
“Is that really true though, Maly? You’ve got a heart that used to belong to a man. Maybe I’m not even your type anymore.”
“That’s not true,” Malice says weakly. But she’s not even sure what she feels—it’s all so new.
Humpty huffs. “You don’t sound very convincing.”
“If only there were some way she could show her attraction,” Sleepy B says in a tone that seems teasing.
Humpty says, “I don’t want to be teased anymore. Don’t want to be lead on and disappointed. I just wanted to tell you my feelings, just so you’d know, for closure, so that now I can stay here for the rest of my life. Before a few moments ago, when I didn’t say it, I was about to say, ‘After all, who needs a scaredy cat to be dragging them down?”
“I resent that term,” mutters the Cat.
Malice says, “Sweety, even if you were a scaredy cat,” (“What’d I just say?” the Cat says.) “When we get to the Wizard, they say he can give people the gift of courage.”
“And can make them older,” Sleepy B adds. “And he can make a new body for Jabby. I wonder if he can make me a new body too.”
“He can give people brains too, they say,” the Cat says. “Maybe you could grow one of those.”
“Scaredy cat, scaredy cat!” Sleepy B shouts, seemingly shouting the phrase for no other reason than to irritate the Cat. Elisa giggles but gets a stern look from Fred.
“That’s what I have to look forward to, if I go with you,” Humpty says, but he sounds slightly amused. “Maybe I could get courage, but if I stay here, I won’t need it. I can live in peace, finally. I don’t want to be eventually disappointed by whatever kind of relationship we might have in the future. You no longer have any romantic feelings, and now’s a good time to quit, if you ask me. I don’t want to be hurt anymore. I’m staying.”
