The only thing that made her nervous about her decision to go back home, was the possibility of running into Jacob Yoder. Surely he was married by now with several kinner, and she wasn’t certain how that would make her feel. Probably jealousy would surface, along with resentment that her daughter would not be able to benefit from having a daed of her own. Lizzie would never dream of calling him out after all this time. After all, she’s the one that left and never told him where she was going. But she was just a young girl, and he’d made it plenty clear to her that he wanted nothing more to do with her. Being the coward that he was, he’d passed the message along with her older bruder, David. If he’d had the courage to face her, she would have told him she loved him, but it was all in the past, and she didn’t intend on socializing with the community who had likely shunned her, so it wouldn’t be an issue to avoid Jacob and his family.
****
Abby watched the landscaping go by from the window of the cab. She was angry with her mom, who hadn’t explained much to her about why they were running away from the only life Abby had ever known. She’d treated her like a baby when she’d asked her mom questions about Eddie. Despite Lizzie’s efforts to sugar-coat the truth, and let Abby think he was just an old friend who had problems, she saw right through her mom’s stories to protect her from the truth. She knew there was more to the story than what she’d been told, but all she cared about was that he seemed to be the reason they left Ohio, and that didn’t make any sense to her since the man was dead.
Abby didn’t like feeling like her mom was lying to her. She’d overheard enough heated conversations between her mom and Eddie to know something bad was going on. During Red Ribbon week at school, Abby had learned all about the ways drugs can destroy lives, and it seemed Eddie was now a cliché of an example to her. Unfortunately, nothing in the lectures in school could have prepared her for the way that destruction would affect her own life.
Abby reached into her back pack for her cell phone; at least she could find comfort in her friends. She texted out a message to her best friend, Rachel, and then pushed send. She held her phone up hoping to get a better signal so it would send since it didn’t seem to be working. She looked closely when the text failed, noting that she had several bars. She tried to resend, and became frustrated when it wouldn’t work. Pushing in Rachel’s number, she held it to her ear and listened to the rings until an automated message answered her call. She held the phone out to look at the face, thinking she’d punched the wrong number. Hanging up, she tried it again. The same message came up.
She pushed the phone toward Lizzie, who was lost in her own thoughts. “There’s something wrong with my phone. I can’t call Rachel!”
Lizzie pulled the phone to her ear and listened to the message. “I haven’t paid the bill, Abby, I’m sorry.”
Abby pushed the phone back toward her mother when she tried to give it back to her. “Can’t you pay the bill so I can talk to Rachel? If I can’t talk to her, I won’t be able to get through this vacation.”
Lizzie put the phone down on the seat between them and turned to her daughter. “I’ll get us new phones when we settle in Indiana and I get a job. Until then, I’m afraid you’re going to have to be without communication with your friends. And this isn’t a vacation. We aren’t going back to Ohio.”
Abby snatched the phone up from the seat of the cab, and shot a look at Lizzie that alarmed her. “What do mean we aren’t going back? All my friends are there! I don’t want a new phone; I want you to turn this one back on so I can call Rachel. Please, Mom!”
Lizzie gazed at the prying eyes of the cab driver in the rearview mirror. “We can talk about this when we get to the Bed & Breakfast.”
Abby crossed her arms in defiance. “My life is going to be ruined unless you turn my phone back on!”
Lizzie looked at her sternly. “I’m not turning it back on, so drop it, Abby.”
Abby rolled down the window of the cab and tossed the phone out the window, watching it bounce along the road while the cab sped away from it. Lizzie didn’t even notice; she was too wrapped up in what she was going to say to her aenti when they arrived at the Bed & Breakfast.
Abby turned her face back toward the window, watching the farms go by slowly. She didn’t see any malls or schools, or even a McDonald’s anywhere. What was she going to do so far away from everything and everyone she cared about? Her mother rattled on about how good the move would be for them, and that she had a surprise for Abby, but she didn’t care. She was wearing an itchy dress that she’d surely be teased for if her friends could see her, and she couldn’t see past the miles of farmland and endless ribbons of road that led her further away from her life.
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CHAPTER 4
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Caleb sat under a tree with a plate of fried chicken that Miriam Graber handed to him, and now she was talking his ear off about how much help he’d been all day to his daed. He ignored her, realizing that the sudden attention had to do with the conversations he’d overheard the women discussing that involved his daed, and his newly shaven face, leaving them hoping he was thinking of taking a wife. Martha Schrock was busy trying to hand him a plate piled high with cakes and pastries, asking if he would take it to his daed, when Caleb noticed the beardless man ducking behind a tree near the pond. He watched his daed for several minutes before deciding to walk down to the pond and see why he was hiding from these women who were eager to be his new mamm.
Caleb picked up a rock and tossed it sideways toward the pond just like Jacob had shown him the previous summer. He watched in awe as it skipped across the glassy surface several times before sinking to the bottom. “Look, Daed, I did it just like ya showed me!”
Jacob placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, feeling a little bit of pride as he watched the rings slowly disappear on the sparkling water. He couldn’t help himself when it came to Caleb, but it humbled him to know that the boy looked up to him so much. Twinges of guilt tried to ruin the moment with thoughts that Nellie would never see her son do any of the simple things that Jacob sometimes took for granted. He’d seen his son soaking up the attention of Miriam and Martha, who would each probably make fine mamm’s for his son, and he felt selfish for denying him the one thing that was within his power to give. He would never be able to give him his real mamm, but he could give the boy what he craved…a new mamm. He’d been selfish with his son long enough and maybe it was time to revisit the idea of taking a fraa—for Caleb’s sake.
“I saw you talking to Miss Martha and Miss Miriam. I’m guessing you think that either of them would make a fine mamm for you.”
Jacob’s heart did a summersault in his chest at the thought of it. He suddenly felt well beyond the twenty-eight years that he was. He felt he was much too young to be a widower, and considering a second marriage with a woman who would most like want her own kind in addition to raising Caleb. Was he ready to start all over again with a boppli with Caleb being ten years old? Was he really ready to marry just for the sake of giving Caleb a mamm? Maybe not, but perhaps it would make up for the sins of his past.
Caleb looked up at his daed and studied him for a moment. “I heard the women talking about the fact you shaved off your baard. They think you want to get married.” He continued to study Jacob. “Is it true?”
Jacob took in a lung-full of fresh air and then let it out. “If you’re wanting a mamm, I’d be willing to take it under consideration.”
Caleb shook his head disappointedly. “It would be nice to have a mamm. And a bruder.”
Jacob choked down his son’s bold statement.
“Maybe you’re putting the cart before the horse, Caleb. I haven’t even asked either of them if I could call on them properly. It’s a process that takes time.”
He hoped the statement would satisfy the lad until he could think of a way out of the mess, but by the expression on Caleb’s face, this wasn’t going to be easy.
***
*
Lizzie shook as she stepped out of the cab. The driver was already at the trunk retrieving their small suitcases, but Lizzie’s feet felt heavy as she heaved her backpack over her shoulder and tried to step toward the front walk of the B&B. She took note that the oversized home had been recently painted, and four freshly painted rocking chairs graced the front porch that was surrounded by flowering plants in a myriad of colors. She could hear ducks on the pond quacking happily. Oh how she’d missed that sound. And the smell of the water floating gently on the breeze. The only thing that would make this moment less stressful was a tall glass of lemonade and a trip back in time. She glanced over at Abby feeling guilty for thinking such a selfish thought. But she was nervous about being so near her daed—even if she wouldn’t be seeing him.
Aunt Bess came running out the front door, her apron flying in the breeze as she planted herself in front of Lizzie. “Wie gehts, Elizabeth? I’ve missed you so much!”
Bess hugged Lizzie so hard she nearly took her breath away. Her aenti smelled of fresh-baked bread and smoked ham, no doubt from preparing for their visit. Lizzie felt the warmth of the older woman’s embrace, feeling like she was finally home.
Aunt Bess pulled away and examined Abby. “Who is this precious kind with such a long face?”
“This is my dochder, Abby.”
The word felt strange coming from Lizzie’s lips, and Abby looked at her quizzically. She knew she would have a lot of explaining to do, but not yet. She wanted to settle in first, and then break the news to Abby that they were here for gut—with Lizzie’s familye. She hoped to be able to see her vadder and younger bruder, Seth, but she was sure she had been shunned at some point over the last eleven years since she’d turned her back on Amish soil.
Her aenti pulled Lizzie close again and whispered in her ear. “I see by your garb that you are planning on re-joining the community, jah?”
Lizzie swallowed hard. “Nee. I made the dresses and kapps as a disguise. I’ll explain everything later.”
Aunt Bess pulled away from Lizzie, her smile unfading, and picked up their suitcases and headed inside the B&B. Lizzie looked at Abby, who was wearing a scowl deep enough to cause concern, but it wasn’t something that could be helped at the moment. Lizzie wondered how long the child would remain silent, but giving her the cold shoulder for the time being was probably best until she could explain everything to her aenti without Abby blurting out the wrong thing.
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CHAPTER 5
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Jacob had managed to carefully avoid Martha and Miriam the remainder of the work day, despite their many attempts at cornering him and offering to feed him their cooking. As his neighbors left his stretch of land, he thanked Gott that at least Caleb had given up his quest for a new mamm for the time being. Tomorrow would be a new day to fight the battle, but he hoped that Caleb would be too distracted with helping the menner with the harvest to pester him anymore.
By the end of the week, they would be at the Beiler farm for the barn-raising, and Jacob worried that being around Jonah would only remind him of his desire for a new familye just like his. Jacob thought that perhaps he should consider taking in an older widow to cook and clean to give Caleb a break from his cooking, and the chore of housecleaning they shared along with the chores of running the farm. Maybe then Caleb would give up his quest for a new mamm, and Jacob wouldn’t have to worry about becoming involved in another loveless marriage. It wasn’t that Jacob was against marriage; he had never gotten over his first love and didn’t want to repeat the mistake he’d made in marrying Nellie.
Jacob laid his weary head on his pillow, willing the memories of Lizzie to leave him. Why was he still thinking of her after all these years? And with his fraa being dead for ten years, he should be thinking of her, instead of the one that got away almost eleven years ago.
Over the years, he’d continuously thought that if he could have seen Lizzie one last time—or even been able to say goodbye, that it would be easier for him to deal with, than the reality of never seeing her again, and always wondering what had become of her. Even her own familye had not heard from her in the eleven years since her disappearance. Because there was no word from her, there had never been a formal shunning; the community and Jacob had feared she was dead.
****
Lizzie tucked Abby into the thick quilt of the room at the far end of the B&B that Aunt Bess set aside for visiting families. Lizzie didn’t mind sharing the room with her daughter, but she wasn’t sure Abby was too happy about it.
“How long are we staying here? Don’t get me wrong—I like your Aunt Bess, but she dresses in the same strange clothes you made us wear to get here. Are you going to make me wear those clothes while we’re here?”
Lizzie sighed. She knew Abby would be full of questions, but she just needed a good night’s rest before she tackled her daughter’s protest over their living situation and her curiosity about the family she was meeting for the first time.
“How about we take a walk down to the pond after breakfast and I’ll tell you everything. But right now, I think we should get some sleep. It’s been a really long day.”
Abby crossed her arms and looked away. “But I don’t want to have a talk tomorrow. I want to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed and watch TV. I didn’t see a single TV in this house!”
Lizzie turned her daughter’s chin toward her and looked her in the eye. “You know I had to sell everything to come here. And the house belongs to the landlord. I’m sorry, but you will have to get used to living here—at least until we can get our own place again. As far as TV goes, you’re going to have to live without it for now. Amish don’t watch TV.”
“That’s just wrong, Mother!”
Lizzie snuffed out the light that rested on the table between the two beds and crawled beneath the warm, homemade quilt. The bedding smelled like it had been dried outside on the clothesline in the sunshine.
Oh how Lizzie had missed that smell…
****
Lizzie opened her eyes at first light. She could hear the ducks quacking outside the open window. Her aenti was more than likely at the pond’s edge with her toes dipped in the water, throwing bread to the ducks. Forcing herself from the cocoon of quilts, Lizzie followed the smell of fresh-brewed coffee to the kitchen.
Aunt Bess entered in through the back door and set an empty bread basket on the table. “I knew you’d wake up when ya smelled the kaffi brewing.”
Lizzie smiled. “Actually it was the furiously hungry ducks that stirred me this morning, but I slept like a boppli. I haven’t slept that soundly in some time.”
Her aenti smiled. “Are ya ready to tell me why you’re here? And without a mann or a vadder for the kind?”
“I don’t have a husband, and her vadder is gone.”
Aunt Bess put a hand under Lizzie’s chin, forcing her to look into her eyes. “You’re too young to be without a husband. There are several widowers in the community, but the only one your age is Jacob Yoder. I know the two of you were in lieb when you were kinner, perhaps you could get to know him again. He owns the farm and all the land on the other side of pond, just down the lane.”
Her aenti pointed in the direction of his farm, but Lizzie had let her vision blur at the mention of Jacob. The thought of him married broke her heart all over again. Had he married Nellie Fisher after she left the community? She knew she had no right to be upset that Jacob had taken a fraa, but she’d always hoped he would marry her someday.
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CHAPTER 6
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Abby sat on the landing of the stairs listening to her mother and great aunt talk. She knew better than to eavesdrop, but the mention of the name Jacob Yoder pricked her ears. It was the name listed on her birth certificate as her father. And now Aunt Bess was saying he lived on the other side of the pond. She wondered why her mother was keeping her father from her if he was this
close to them. She was certain her mother would say she had “grown-up” reasons for not telling her, but Abby didn’t care—she was still mad at her mother for letting her cell phone—the only avenue to the outside world, get turned off and refusing to pay the bill.
Abby continued to listen as her great aunt explained to her mother that Jacob had been married, and how his wife had died giving birth to his son, Caleb, who was just a few months younger than Abby. Was it possible that Caleb was her brother? Did she even want a brother? A sister most certainly, but a brother?
Abby went back upstairs, determined to pack her small suitcase and leave this backward home. Her mother had lied to her about a lot of things, and she was now more angry than ever. She didn’t want to be Amish for a single minute longer. She was certain that her brother had a TV, and probably video games. But most of all, she hoped her dad would have a cell phone she could use to call Rachel.
****
Abby had managed to slip out the front door of the B&B without her mother or great aunt noticing her. Aunt Bess was in the middle of offering her mother a job to clean the upstairs rooms of the B&B since the older woman suffered from swollen knees and it hurt her back to climb the stairs and stoop to clean. Her mother eagerly accepted, leaving Abby as the last one to be informed she was planning on staying in the area for an extended period of time, which only added fuel to Abby’s already full plate of anger for her mother at the present time.
Jacob's Daughter: Book One Page 2
