Lane let out a nervous laugh. “I think so. Physically, at least.”
“I can knock you out so you can sleep, if you need. Reyn’s still out from his dose.”
“And thank you for that. Reyn wasn’t… It’s something no man should watch his fiancée have to go through. That was a kindness, and I won’t forget it. But I’ll need to get back to the people, let them see that I’m home and well. As soon as my face isn’t like this, I’ll need to be on my feet again.”
Kerdik didn’t argue, though I wanted to. “As you wish it. I knew it would take more than a battalion of soldiers to break you. You were always the only Daughter of Avalon I had faith in. Your sisters were all either cruel or weak. You have always been strong and kind. Never forget that. Those soldiers could never take something like that away from someone like you.” Kerdik stepped back, and let me take the space on Lane’s other side in the bed. I didn’t waste a second cozying up to her. Just being near me seemed to calm her down.
Lane hiccupped into my hair. “I was wrong about you. I still think you’re dangerous, but you’re no danger to Rosie anymore. That you would rescue us like that? That you’d dress my daughter when she’d been so carelessly handled? Thank you.”
Kerdik’s jaw tightened, not used to being complimented so sincerely. “I’m in love with Rosie,” he suddenly declared. My jaw tightened, but I didn’t tell him to shut up. He was making himself emotionally vulnerable, and I couldn’t bring myself to stifle the inch of growth.
Urien stiffened, but Lane nodded. “I figured as much. Part of me wants to send you away, but the other part of me wants to tell you that I’m happy something so wonderful finally opened your heart. Good for you, Master Kerdik.”
“Thank you.”
“Rosie chooses her own path, though, and whatever she wants, you’ll have to accept.”
Kerdik lowered his chin. Their roles suddenly switched from him having all the power, to now Lane holding the cards. “Yes, ma’am.”
Lane kissed my nose, suddenly gasping at the sight of my face. She had been knocked out for much of the ride home – another kindness of Kerdik. He’d used more of the powder on Reyn, though, so he was still out. “Your eye. Why’s your left eye different? And your skin. I mean, you’re gorgeous, but you look almost peachy, like you’re glowing or something. Are my eyes going bonkers?”
I shook my head. “You don’t need to worry about that right now.”
Kerdik spoke up, taking control of the conversation. “You should know that she was injured while you were gone. She was attacked by too many peludas, and was horribly disfigured. She was a few breaths from dying, so I gave her my blood.”
I winced at the admission I hadn’t seen coming. “I don’t think she needs to worry about all that right now, K.”
Kerdik ignored me. “I’ve never done that before, so I didn’t know what would happen for sure. Brìghde did it once to save her husband, but each immortal is different. Rosie survived, but there are changes. She and I are connected now. She can see through my eyes when I’m upset.” He cast a worried glimpse at me. “She can tell if I lie. Her eyes are different now, but one of the drawbacks is that her tears have turned to blood.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s quite disorienting for her, so try not to let her get worked up if I’m out. The tears blind her, and she gets frightened when she can’t see.”
Lane confined her reaction to a few loud gasps. “You cry blood now? Baby, that’s awful! Are you alright?”
I snuggled into her arms, holding her every bit as tightly as she held me. “That you can care about anyone else right now is beyond me, after all you’ve been through. You’re such a good mom. I’m fine. I’m alive. It’s a good excuse not to let myself be such a cry baby.”
Kerdik wasn’t finished, though I wished he was. He explained to my dad and to Lane about my extended lifespan, much to their cries of shock and upset. I kinda wished I wasn’t there for that part. Kerdik laid everything out on the table, making me itch to run from the room. I kissed Lane’s forehead and my dad’s cheek, and then made some lame excuse about checking on Judah so I could bolt. I didn’t know who I was going to be in fifty years, and didn’t want Kerdik planning it all out for me.
23
All I Wish For
I tiptoed through the hallway, opening my door and peeking at Judah, who was still asleep. Gingerly, I climbed into the bed with him, making sure my movements didn’t rock him to wakefulness. I laid down on his left – a.k.a. my spot, and placed my hand in his, how we used to do. Judah’s hands were meant for typing and designing on computers. His fingers were long and thin, uncalloused and responsive to my touch. Though he didn’t open his eyes, he murmured my name in his sleep. “I’m here,” I promised, squeezing his hand. “Go back to sleep.”
I don’t know why I couldn’t get the feeling of the greedy hands of the soldiers off my body, but they were all over, reading my curves as if they were stamped with Braille. I’d been naked in front of all those strangers, tied to a poll like an animal and left completely vulnerable. I shut my eyes and tried not to picture the scene that made vomit churn in my gut. I wanted to put it all behind me in a fit of “Who cares? Nothing affects me. I’m awesome,” but I couldn’t fake that much confidence this late at night. The horses had spent much time consoling me on the way home, tiring me, but not enough to where I could push the men’s hands out of my mind completely.
Not ten minutes later, Kerdik slipped into my room. I sat up to whisper a greeting, but he frowned at me and moved to go sit in the chair he preferred, which was off in the corner of my room. Kerdik crooked his finger at me, beckoning me to leave the bed and go to him. When I neared, he parted his thighs and slowly pulled me down to sit on his lap. Tipping me back and looping my knees over the arm of the chair, he situated my body so I could be cradled in his arms, like a baby. “You’ll sleep right here tonight. I’m afraid I can’t stomach putting you into bed with another man. I have to share you with Bastien, but I don’t know this boy.”
I was too exhausted to argue. I knew Kerdik couldn’t be dissuaded when he was being stubborn. “Judah’s cool.” I situated myself in his arms, knowing that nothing could get at me if he was near. “Hey, Kerdik?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Thanks for coming when I called. I like to think I can handle myself in a fight, but I didn’t have a prayer. If you hadn’t shown up…” I gulped, and clutched his shirt, as if the fabric might keep the feeling of the filthy hands on me away.
“But I did. I told you, I’ll never hesitate again to come when you call. I want you to count on me, to call again whenever you need anything. To see your beautiful body tied up like that?” Kerdik closed his eyes in pain. “Even over the smallest thing, call me. Stop trying to tough it out. You should’ve summoned me the second the soldiers took you.”
“Everyone uses you,” I explained, my cheek on his shoulder. “I don’t want you to confuse me with everyone else. That’s why you hated the Daughters of Avalon, because they only called you when they needed help. I don’t want you to resent me like that. There’s only so much anyone can assist an immortal who’s as powerful as you are; I’m already on unequal footing with you, just because I’m a regular person, and you’re you. Besides all that, I don’t like to parade around the fact that I sometimes need help.”
“Do you really not see how much I’ve grown since I met you? I couldn’t resent you for needing my magic if I tried. You’re welcome to take what you need from me, whenever you wish. You can have all of me, Rosie. I so very badly wish you would.”
“This is all I wish for right now,” I replied simply, cuddling into his arms. I also wanted Bastien home, but I didn’t think that was quite the right thing to say in the moment.
Kerdik’s voice was quiet, speaking low into my ear. “You wished for me to care about something that wasn’t you, right?”
I yawned. “That would be nice, yes. To see you fight for good things in the world is something a
girl likes to see.”
He clutched me and buried his nose in my hair. He inhaled the scent as if it was more precious to him than any flower he could command to bloom with a wave of his hand. “I always knew Morgan’s soldiers had grown depraved, but until I saw you caught up in their wicked games, I didn’t care much. It wasn’t my problem. Morgan is who she is, and I’ve learned long ago that I can’t change people. But after seeing you tied like that? I think I’ve found the thing I want to be passionate about.”
“Is that so? That’s good to hear, K.” I yawned. “Tell me all about it.”
“I want to help Lane make her province stronger, once she’s back on her feet. Normally I don’t like to get involved, but I think I might regret not lending a hand. When Morgan comes for you again, I don’t want anything to be able to snatch at you. If you say it’s not our time to be together, I can accept that, but I won’t leave you unprotected, just because you’re not mine yet.”
I snuggled into his warmth. People assumed Kerdik was cold, but I knew better. His heart could be big, and he’d had to work hard to ignore his baser urges. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, my love. Don’t you know what a wretched man I am? I would burn this whole nation to ash if you asked me to.”
“Let’s save the fireworks as a solid plan B.” I nuzzled my nose to his cheek, and finally lost the battle with my drooping eyelids. “I love you, Kerdik.”
He squeezed me, and his eyes shut, as if he was in pain. “How I do love you, my darling.”
“Goodnight,” I murmured as I drifted off to sleep in his arms.
24
My Warrior
I awoke in the middle of the night to sounds of shouting down the hall. “Rosie? Rosie!” jerked me awake seconds before my bedroom door burst open. The sight that greeted me made my heart ache. Bastien was disheveled, and looked like he hadn’t bathed in days. His flannel shirt was untucked, and his boots were muddy. Still, he took my breath away. “Rosie?” He crooned my name with a palpable anguish – tender and still fraught with distress.
I lifted my head from Kerdik’s shoulder and tried to smile for my warrior. Kerdik stood from his chair, lifting me and carrying me toward Bastien. Though my legs were fully capable of walking, my feet never touched the floor. It was as if Kerdik sensed I’d suffered too much to have to deal with such arduous tasks as walking.
With controlled disappointment, he carefully handed me over to Bastien, giving him the warning of, “Gentle, now. She was attacked, and barely made it out intact.”
Bastien nodded, his eyes locking in on Kerdik’s with a solemn nod as he sat in a chair with me cradled in his arms. “Attacked how?”
“Morgan’s soldiers took her clothes and tied her to a pole. Tried to take what wasn’t theirs.” Bastien let out a bleat of agony as Kerdik explained with clinical accuracy the whole thing, including the blip of me being able to see through his eyes when he got worked up. It was a long conversation, with plenty of interruptions from Bastien’s confusion, outrage, and eventually his heartbreak. Each time he tried to comfort me, Kerdik redirected him, making sure the whole story was told.
When Kerdik explained my extended lifeline, Bastien paled. “So we won’t grow old together,” he stated, his tone flat.
Kerdik’s eyes drifted to the ceiling as he practiced reining in his words. “She’ll stay with you until your last breath, no doubt. I’ll never understand the loyalty she feels for you, even without her lueur inside of you.”
Bastien clutched me tight, and though I wanted to tell him I could stand on my own, I was grateful he hadn’t dropped me when one hurdle after another came at him. “Okay, then. I’ve got it from here.” There was a distinct but not totally rude “get out” to Bastien’s tone.
Though Kerdik wasn’t one for being bossed around, I’m sure he didn’t want to be here for our reunion. “I’ll see you in the morning. If you need me, I’ll be with Urien, helping take care of Lane.”
My heart tugged in my chest that he would look after my mother for me. Lane was my treasure. That he understood it all and guarded my pot of purest gold when I couldn’t? It was a testament to how sincere his transformation from selfish dude to actual grown man had become. I didn’t know what would happen in fifty years; I only knew that tonight I was grateful for all that Kerdik was to me, even if we didn’t have the words to define it all just yet.
25
Thug Life
It was a long night of catching Bastien up on everything until I finally fell asleep in his arms. When morning came, he hadn’t moved from the spot on the floor where he’d sunk down to hold me tight through the night. He wasn’t too keen on putting me in a bed with Judah, either. I didn’t want to admit how shaken I still was, or how much I needed him to stay with me, and never ever leave. In the morning, he talked to me through the partition the entire time I bathed just to quell my nerves. Even as Bastien dressed after his bath, the partition that separated us was too large a divide. “It was a bad idea for us to split up,” I whispered, trying not to wake Judah.
“Agreed. It’s what Morgan wanted, though. She almost seemed pleased to see us without you. I don’t get it.”
I shrugged. “What’s to get? Morgan’s crazy. Did she hurt you guys?”
“Not a scratch. She knows she can’t touch me or Mad. She didn’t go after Draper, either. Just sent us on stupid time-wasting missions to try and earn Lane back. ‘Bring me a fruit from the tallest tree in Province 1, and you can have one of the prisoners.’ Then when we did, she’d give us some random prisoner and laugh. Mad lost his patience and went on a tear, slaughtering dozens of soldiers and throwing their bodies on her dais. Then he barged into the castle, and that’s when we saw that Lane and them weren’t in the dungeon at all. She sent us running around like little chumps just to amuse herself and waste our time. I can’t stand that woman.” He came out from behind the partition with a clean flannel on and a pair of jeans. “What?” he said of my loving stare. He looked down at his clothes, making sure he hadn’t put his shirt on backwards or something.
“I love the look of you freshly clean. I like the look of you in my home.”
Despite all he’d been through, Bastien cast me a smile. “Actually, I’m in your bedroom. Our bedroom, really.”
“Well, you look pretty spectacular here, too.” I leaned up on my toes and kissed him, sighing into the connection that helped erase the hands that felt seared on my body. “Tell me we’re safe now.”
“If I’m here, you’re safe,” he vowed as his arms wrapped around me. I’d missed the familiar feel of his bulk, and leaned in for another kiss, and another. My lueur rose up in me, the little matchmaker, eager to return to Bastien. There wasn’t the whole song and dance of a painful transition this time, but merely a shared gasp before he slid the tip of his tongue across mine. “That’s better,” he murmured contentedly.
My hand reached between us and touched his chest, feeling the heat that settled there. We kissed again and again, relishing the reunion that was peaceful after so much turmoil had rocked our respective boats. “Show me where you’re hurt,” I whispered, running my hands over his biceps.
“Morgan can’t touch us. I’m not hurt. A little sore from riding a horse for days, but nothing more than that.” His eyes flicked to my body. “Do you want to wear one of my flannels?” he suggested, knowing better than to ask if I was hurt. The pain I felt went deeper than my faded black eye, which was mostly yellow now.
I nodded, crossing my arms over my breasts. Men putting their hands on me hadn’t been a problem when I’d had my hump. Though Bastien’s shirt was way too big, I welcomed the blanket feel I’d needed to keep me covered and shapeless. “Thanks. That helps. Feels like armor and a hug all in one.”
Bastien’s eyes were mournful as he cupped my face. “What else can I do? How can I make it less awful?”
I buried my face in his chest. “Just be here while it sucks, and don’t make me talk about it.”
“I
can do that.” His arms were strong, and banded around me with a protective strength that calmed my worries. When my lips found his, he made these sweet indulgent noises that showed me how much he’d wanted me to be near him. It was a heady thing to be needed like that, and by someone who didn’t seem to need anything.
“Third wheel in the room, guys. Keep the slurping noises to a minimum while you suck each other’s faces.” Judah sat up, rubbing his eyes.
I broke from Bastien and ran to my BFF. “Judah! Are you alright?”
“I’m not tied to the ground anymore, so I’m amazing.” He hugged me tight, and neither of us wanted to let go. “What about you?”
“I don’t care about me! What the crap happened that you landed yourself in Avalon?”
Judah’s hand gripped the back of my head, and then slipped to my shoulders, no doubt trying to familiarize himself with my new body that had possessed a hump for most of our friendship. “A few disfigured soldier dudes broke into the apartment and snatched me out of my bed. I’m still breathing a sigh of relief that Jill wasn’t home from her shift yet.”
I moved to the window and opened it to let in a bird that landed on the sill. He flew in and perched on my shoulder, chirping tidings of joy and blessings on my feathers. I grabbed Judah’s stolen glasses off my table and handed them to him, both of us sighing with relief, now that the perfect picture of Judah was complete. My posture lifted as I sat on my knees on the mattress. “Jill moved in? You two are still together?”
Judah nodded, holding his hand out to touch my bird. “I couldn’t afford the rent on my own after you moved out.”
Untouchable Girl_A Fantasy Adventure Page 13
