“Where did those beautiful roses come from?” she gasped.
“From his Lordship,” Effie answered excitedly. “He has sent you roses every day.”
“Every day? How long have I been here?”
“Three days.”
“I don’t remember,” she said, shocked. “The time just drifted by in a haze.”
“Yesterday’s roses were yellow,” Effie said, “and the day before they were pink.”
But not red, Shona thought.
“He wants to come and see you, and the doctor says that he can, but only for a few minutes.”
“Oh, Effie, I cannot see him. Look at me.”
“You are just a little pale.”
“I am worse than that. No, no, I can’t see him.”
“Is that what you want me to tell him, miss?”
“Yes,” Shona said, trying to sound firm. “Please tell his Lordship that I thank him gratefully, but I am not well enough to receive visitors.”
“Very well, miss.”
Effie headed for the door.
“There is no need to go and find him,” Shona said. “Whenever he calls next will do.”
“But he is here now, waiting for your decision. He comes to see you every morning.”
Before Shona could stop her, Effie opened the door and she just could make out a muffled conversation. There was a murmur that sounded like the Marquis and then Effie returned.
“He says he understands and does not wish to trouble you,” she reported. “He will wait until you are ready to receive him.”
“Oh, Effie, that was very impolite of me. Please ask him to come in.”
Effie hurried back to the door and returned a few moments later with the Marquis.
He entered the room slowly and hung back a little as he approached Shona, almost as though he was feeling timid.
“I do not mean to be a bore if you wish to remain undisturbed,” he started.
“Won’t you sit down?” Shona indicated a chair facing her in the big window and he sat there.
“I only wanted to see for myself how you were progressing,” he insisted kindly.
Now she regretted allowing him to come so close to her. With the sun on her face there was no hiding the fact that she was thin and ugly.
She made a helpless gesture and then raised her hands as if to cover her face. At once he took hold of her hands in both of his.
“Don’t turn away from me,” he said.
She tried to make a joke of it.
“At first I pretended to be dowdy and unattractive. I do not need any pretence now. I could pass for forty, even without my pince nez.”
“Don’t be absurd,” he spluttered. “That is the biggest nonsense I have ever heard.”
Weakened by her illness, Shona had no defences. To her shame she burst into violent sobs.
“There my dear, please don’t cry,” he said at once, gathering her in his arms and pulling her head onto his shoulder.
“I am so sorry,” she wept. “I don’t seem able to stop.”
“Of course. You are still not well. You must do whatever makes you feel better.”
She brushed her tears away and tried to laugh.
“I am sure Lionel isn’t weeping.”
“Lionel is enjoying himself. I know he ate most of those mussels, but the one you chose must have been the worst of the lot. You were very unfortunate, my poor girl.”
His voice was so gentle that she nearly burst into tears again.
He seemed to understand her. He merely sat there, holding her wasted body tenderly.
Suddenly Shona felt completely happy and content to be sitting here, relying on him. If only she could stay like this for ever.
“You are very kind,” she whispered softly. “You have taken such good care of me. I am afraid I have been such a nuisance.”
“You could never be that,” he said fondly.
“Effie told me about the flowers you sent every day. I hadn’t even realised that I had been here so long.”
“We have all been so worried about you.”
Shona felt giddy and light-headed. She wondered if that was the effect of her illness.
Or perhaps it was the effect of the man sitting close to her, one arm still around her and one hand enfolding hers.
“How is Lionel?” she asked, trying to sound as though her heart was not beating so rapidly. “I believe he was very ill.”
“He has thrown it off very well,” the Marquis replied. “He has always been strong. This morning he has gone outdoors for the first time. It is you who has scared us. You are much more frail than you look.”
“I have always thought of myself as a strong person,” Shona protested.
“Then you are mistaken. There was a moment when I – that is we were seriously afraid for you.”
“Thank you, I – ”
Suddenly they both seemed to become aware of how he was holding her. Shona felt herself overcome with confusion followed by a distinct suspicion that he could see her blushing.
He too seemed confused and released her quickly.
“I have tired you enough,” he said, rising. “I will come back later today – if you will allow me.”
“Please do,” Shona said.
“Are you sure it won’t be too tiring for you?” he asked with a touch of anxiety.
“Oh, no,” Shona said quickly.
She looked up at him, murmuring,
“I should like it – very much.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
That afternoon Monsieur and Madame Rivalier came to visit Shona.
They were a comfortable, middle-aged couple, full of smiles, brushing aside her thanks, insisting that their house was her house. She must remain here until she was well.
“And Frederick will tell us when you are well enough,” Madame Rivalier said.
There was something significant in her tone and Shona could feel herself blushing again. Plainly the whole household was expecting something to happen, and her hosts were looking forward to seeing their dear friend happy.
They bustled away, leaving Shona to her thoughts.
She had recovered her appetite and managed to eat a hearty meal that evening. She felt ready now to see the Marquis, but he was late in coming and her heart sank.
Plainly he had thought better of it. Everything had been an illusion. Perhaps hints from the Rivaliers had embarrassed him and now he thought it best to avoid her.
But at last there was a knock on her door. Effie flew to open it and stood back to let him pass.
Then she slid away, leaving them alone together.
The Marquis looked rather awkward. After some polite enquiries after her feelings and how well she had eaten, he said with a little laugh,
“They insist on keeping us all here for as long as possible. And I think it’s wiser, if you don’t mind.”
“I feel very guilty, wasting your time,” she said plaintively.
“You are not wasting my time.”
“But you had plans for this trip – the travel book – ”
With a shrug he consigned the book to perdition.
“That was an idle thought. Let it go.”
“There is no book?” she asked him.
“No. Forgive me for deceiving you. It was necessary, but I cannot explain why, for the moment. When I do – I hope you will understand, and forgive me.”
“Surely it will not be for me to forgive,” she said in wonder.
“I said that because I know you to be so honest and open that deception must be horrible to you.”
Shona laughed.
“But you once said that you did not believe a word I had told you about myself.”
He reddened slightly.
“Yes, I did say that, didn’t I? And I still believe there is much that you are keeping from me. But I don’t think you do so willingly.”
Shona nodded.
“Some deceptions are forced upon us through no fault of our own, my Lord.�
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“I know,” he replied “and it emboldens me to hope that you will understand what my own have been.”
“Then can you not tell me?”
For a moment she thought he would tell her everything that was on his mind. Then he seemed to think better of it and rose hastily.
“Tomorrow I shall take you for a short drive. We will talk some more then.”
He lifted her hand and brushed his lips across her skin. Then he was gone.
She slept soundly and blissfully and awoke feeling well enough for her first outing.
Effie dressed her carefully in an elegant blue gown. This was one of her original, fashionable clothes, because now Shona was in no mood for the drab garments suitable to the part she was playing as a secretary.
She wanted to look pretty for the Marquis, or at least, as pretty as she could look in her wasted state.
As soon as he saw her, she knew that he thought she was beautiful. His eyes smiled in a particular way that she had come to know and her heart leapt.
The vehicle turned out to be a two-seater buggy with just enough room for the two of them. The Marquis helped her aboard and then climbed into the driver’s seat and took the reins.
Their host and hostess were there to see them off, nudging and winking at each other with a meaning that was all too obvious.
Shona liked them enormously, but she wished they would not do this, in case the Marquis should notice. If that should happen, she would not know how to look him in the eye.
But then she saw that he actually had noticed their antics, and instead of being embarrassed or annoyed, he was grinning.
It was summer and the trees were in bloom as they moved through the beautiful Rivalier estate, which was on high ground, and they could see the glint of the sea in the distance.
The Marquis kept a moderate pace until they reached a little bubbling stream. He tied the horse to a low bush by the stream, so that it could reach the water, and laid out a blanket under the trees.
“I have brought a picnic,” he declared, helping her down. “Sit there, while I wait on you.”
She leaned back against the tree, blissfully happy, while he unpacked the hamper. There were cakes and a bottle of light sparkling wine.
He poured her a glass and sat watching while she sipped it.
“The wine will do you good,” he said, “and so will the sun. In an hour I will take you home and you can spend the rest of the day in bed. Tomorrow perhaps we might stay out for longer.”
“You seem to have planned my life very well,” she said, smiling.
“I know what is good for you. I blame myself for having brought all this upon you.”
“It was certainly not your fault.”
“I employed the cook, and therefore it is my fault.”
“You didn’t really dismiss him, did you?” Shona enquired
“I did not need to. The Captain has sent me word that he vanished when we docked at Marseilles. No doubt by now he has been taken on by another ship and is busy poisoning more passengers.”
“Poor man.”
“You might have died.”
“And Lionel might have died too,” she reminded him.
“Don’t worry about that young man. He is strong and armoured against life. But you – you are different, as though a feather could knock you down.”
“Not at all,” she responded, irritated at such a picture. “Now you are making me sound like one of those idiotic females with no spirit or backbone.”
“One of those delicate females who needs looking after,” he suggested.
“One of those heroines of sentimental novels who sigh at the hero and beg him to save her,” Shona said firmly.
Her tone made all too clear her opinion of that kind of ‘heroine’.
“I take it you would prefer to save yourself?” he asked with a rueful smile.
“In general, yes. But since I was the one who collapsed, perhaps I am feebler than I think I am.”
“No woman is feeble who confronts the world as you do. You earn your own living and you are intellectually accomplished. You have faced widowhood – ”
A shadow crossed her face and he stopped at once.
“Forgive me. Is any mention of your husband still painful to you?”
Shona looked at him helplessly, then at the wedding ring on her finger.
It had always been too large because her fingers were smaller than her mother’s. Now that she was wasted, it slipped around on her finger.
The Marquis followed her gaze. Taking her hand, he took the ring off, turning it over in his fingers so that he could read the inscription inside.
May our love last forever.
“Love lasting forever can be a curse as well as a blessing,” he observed sombrely. “Have you found that?”
“What – do you mean?”
“Do you still love your dead husband?”
There was a silence while he tried to read her face, but he found only consternation, and it confused him.
“Shona – ”
“My Lord, I must tell you,” she said quietly,” I have never been married.”
“What?”
“I am not who I claim to be. You were right about that. I am Miss Shona Winterton. My father died three years ago and my mother remarried. Now my step-father is trying to force me to marry one of his cronies.
“I would rather die than do that. So I escaped. When I heard that you needed a secretary who spoke languages it was like a sign from Heaven.
“I fled to your house and did all I could to persuade you to employ me. I pretended to be older than I am, and widowed, because I thought you would not employ a young, unmarried woman.”
“You were right.”
“And then you said I could not come without a companion and it seemed as though I had lost my chance, but then Effie arrived, thank goodness!”
“Is Effie hiding a secret too?”
Shona nodded.
“She is my maid. I did not want to lie to you but you said my companion must not be an employee. And you must not blame Effie. It was all my doing. But now you see why I was nervous about her succumbing to Lionel’s charms.”
“Such as they are. Never fear. I think we have both seen that she has his measure. Forget them. I want to know about you. You talked about your ‘husband’ so convincingly.”
“I was thinking of my father. When he was alive, my mother and I travelled with him a lot. He taught me all my languages and he was the most wonderful person. “This is my mother’s wedding ring. She gave it to me when she remarried. How she ever came to choose that – ”
She sighed.
“What is your step-father’s name?”
“Colonel Lockwood.”
“I have heard of him. Not a pleasant character, I believe. So he wants to dispose of you through marriage? You did the right thing in leaving.”
“Thank you. I was afraid you would think my behaviour was scandalous.”
“It was. It was also the action of a brave young woman. How old are you really, by the way? You have been so many ages since we met.”
“I am twenty,” Shona admitted.
“And you are still single? What is the matter with all the young men?”
“Maybe it is I who has no interest in them,” she riposted.
“I think that must be the explanation. But what of the future? You have told me what you are running away from, but what are you running to?”
“That is still hidden from me,” she said. “I have been so busy thinking about how not to be married that I have not given any thought to a husband.”
She tried not to seem self-conscious, but it was difficult when he was the one man above all that she would want as a husband.
In order to pass over the moment, she added lightly,
“Marriage has not impressed me as a pleasant state. It is true that my parents were happy, but my father was a remarkable man. There are not many men around like him.
&n
bsp; “All the men I have met since I left school, have been engrossed with their horses and their estates and not really interested in anything else. Women come a very poor second.”
“I find that very hard to believe,” the Marquis asserted. “You are so pretty and so intelligent that I should think every man who met you would want you to be his wife.”
“One or two of them may have given me a passing thought, between hunting and fishing,” Shona said with some asperity.
The Marquis laughed.
“I know exactly the sort of man you mean,” he said. “But when you were in London you must have been the belle of every ball?”
“I wish I could say that was true,” Shona replied. “Although I enjoyed the dances enormously, I never met anyone very special who I wanted to become part of my life.”
“In other words you did not fall in love,” the Marquis answered.
“That’s true. But I never wanted to fall in love.”
“What a strange thing to say.”
“When a girl falls in love with a man, she is in his power. Most men are so unimpressive that it would be a foolhardy girl who would fall into their power if she could avoid it.”
“That is so sensible,” he said wryly. “If only more girls thought as you do. But it applies to men as well. A man in love is a man in a woman’s power. I believe there are very few women who would not abuse that power. In fact, I have known only one.”
He fell silent.
“Angela?” Shona asked.
“Yes. She was like no one else.”
“And you are quite convinced that you will never find anyone else as exceptional as her?”
There was a silence, in which Shona feared she had gone too far. But then –
“No,” he said abruptly. “I am no longer convinced of that. However – ” he gave an unexpected smile, and spoke more lightly, “it has taken me twelve years to feel such a hope. You must not wait as long as twelve years.”
“But suppose I have to?” she enquired. “Suppose love does not come my way until then? What should I do?
“I remember when I was at school, the other girls were always saying that their mothers hoped they would marry someone important and rich.”
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