Perchance to Dream

by Lyssa Chiavari

  Kurt scoffed. “Like I want to have to spend private time with that nerd Matt.”

  “Man, whatever! Just because Mr. White was smart enough not to assign you to work with some girl who was wrapped around your little finger.”

  “You’re just jealous ‘cuz you can’t get any,” Kurt said with a smirk, folding his arms across his chest.

  “Jealous? Of you?” Ben drew himself up to his full height of six-foot-six and stared at his brother incredulously. “I’m not the one whose grades are so far down the toilet that Mom and Dad threatened to cut me off!”

  “Only because you snitched! Thanks to you, I’m stuck without my Pacific Blue Jeep Wrangler Islander! With my lucky Tiki on the dash!” Kurt cried, looking desperate.

  Grizz cocked one eyebrow. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Oh, get over it!” Ben snapped back, rolling his eyes. “Forget about your stupid car—I’m stuck ferrying you around for the rest of forever! Or until you pass. Whichever comes first.”

  “Kahuna is not stupid!” Kurt exclaimed, looking genuinely hurt by Ben’s remark. Patricia had to cover her mouth to hide her laugh.

  “He named his car ‘Kahuna’?” Grizz whispered.

  “And I’m the one whose life is ruined,” Kurt continued. “Stuck with my lame little brother day and night, how uncool is that?”

  Ben pulled at his hair in exasperation. “I’m only eight minutes younger than you! And do you think I want to be stuck spending all my free time babysitting you? I have things to do, Kurt!”

  Kurt put on a mock pout. “Oh, what things? Nerdy little science club? Mathletics?”

  “It’s mathalon, you idiot.”

  “Either one sounds stupid!” Kurt snapped, giving his brother a shove. Ben frowned in annoyance and shoved him right back, and, as everyone in the room watched with interest, the argument devolved into a shoving match, each of the Minola brothers trying to outdo each other with insults.

  “Idiot!”

  “Rat!”

  “Jerk!”

  “Nerd!”

  “Moron!”

  “Stop it!” Patricia commanded, inserting herself between the two of them and pushing them apart.

  Kurt’s chest rose and fell quickly from the exertion. “He started it,” he grumbled.

  Ben glanced down at Patricia in disbelief before glaring at his brother. “Did not!”

  “Did too!” Kurt took a step forward, ready to brawl once more.

  “Enough!” Patricia commanded, still holding them apart. “Go to your separate corners. Grizz, you take Kurt back to the prop closet. I’ll be right there.”

  “My pleasure,” Grizz replied gleefully, skipping forward and reaching a hand up to grab Kurt’s rather large ear. “Come along, my pet.”

  “Ow, ow, leggo, leggo!” Kurt cried, doubling over as she dragged him away.

  Patricia laughed before turning to Nicole, Peter, Phillip and Natalia. “Okay, guys, if you could get on the stage and do some warm-ups real quick, we’ll start rehearsing in just a few.”

  Finally she looked at Ben with a smile. “Sorry about that.” He didn’t reply, merely looking down, red-faced. She followed his gaze and realized that she was still grasping him firmly around his muscular bicep. “Oh! Sorry.” She dropped her hand awkwardly.

  After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she told him, “I’m really sorry you got stuck with Kurt. I feel like it’s my fault.”

  Ben shook his head with a smile. “It’s not, Patricia. It’s Kurt’s. Besides, what I told our parents was just icing on the cake. A bunch of his teachers had called them, too.”

  Patricia folded her arms across her chest and leaned in to whisper, “Did your parents really cut him off?”

  Ben nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yep. They really want him to go to college. Especially since everyone already knows he got in, so their reputations are on the line, now, too.”

  Patricia bit her lip. She knew the Minolas were wealthy, and that the family was totally into the country club, charity ball scene. It would definitely be embarrassing if one of their sons got kicked out of college before he’d even started.

  “They said if he doesn’t buckle down,” Ben continued, “they won’t pay for college even if by some bizarre chance he did still get in. They took away his car and cut off his allowance, and they said he’s not getting another cent until he proves he is responsible enough to fix this.”

  “Wow. Think it will work?” Patricia asked.

  Ben shrugged. “Guess we’ll see, huh?”

  “Yeah, well, thanks for bringing him. Maybe tonight I can actually get him to do some of the stuff on my checklist.” Patricia rubbed her hands together and laughed wickedly.

  Chuckling, Ben glanced around before asking in a low voice, “Sure you don’t want me to stick around to kick his ass if he doesn’t do as he’s told?”

  Patricia grinned and shoved him playfully. “Don’t worry. I think we’ve got this.”

  Ben seemed hesitant. “…Okay, then. Your rehearsal ends at nine, right?” Seeing Patricia’s nod, he replied, “All right, see you then.”

  “Bye!” Patricia replied, staring after Ben for a moment before mentally going over a checklist.

  Oh, yes. Kurt had his work cut out for him.

  ❦

  Several rehearsals later, Patricia was seated in front of the stage, watching carefully as the actors did a run-through. “Kurt!” she called out to the tall teen, who was standing idly by, staring off into space. “Earth to Kurt!”

  Natalia, noticing he still wasn’t listening, skipped over to Kurt and gently shook his arm. “Kurt,” she said, flipping long platinum blonde hair over her shoulder, “I think Patricia is talking to you.”

  Kurt seemed to snap out of it, turning his attention on Natalia. “Oh, sorry. What’d you say, babe?”

  Natalia giggled shyly, pointing offstage. “Patricia needs you.”

  He turned to Patricia. “‘Sup, Persephone?”

  Patricia gritted her teeth, gripping her pencil tightly. “Oh, nothing much, Kyle, just the fact that you missed your cue, again!”

  Kurt stared at her blankly. “Oh, I did? Uh… what’s my cue again?” He grinned as this earned yet another tinkle of laughter from Natalia.

  Peter and Phillip looked at each other and rolled their eyes. “You’re supposed to rattle the chains when I say, ‘You, who are living on the vast fortunes of our misery,’” Peter snapped.

  “Oh, right, right,” Kurt said distractedly, still looking at Natalia.

  “Okay, places, everyone! Take it from Mrs. Winchester’s line, ‘What must I do?’” Patricia instructed, leaning back in her chair with a sigh.

  Rehearsal went on for a few more minutes, until, once again, when it was Kurt’s cue, he stood there and did nothing. “Kurt!” Patricia cried. “You’re supposed to do the ghostly howl right then! You know, like we talked about?”

  Kurt looked sheepish. He cleared his throat. “Okay… awww-rrrroooo…”

  Patricia turned around in her seat when she heard Ben burst into laughter. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?” she asked with one eyebrow raised. To Patricia’s surprise, Ben had stuck around the last couple of rehearsals, claiming he couldn’t get anything done, knowing he would have to pick Kurt up in a short amount of time.

  Ben lifted a fist to his mouth and pretended like he was coughing. “Um, sorry,” he said, unable to hide his grin.

  Patricia frowned at Ben and turned back in her seat to face the stage. “No, that sounds like a wolf. It’s supposed to be like this: eeeeeeeee-ohhhhh,” she wailed like a banshee. “Try again.”

  Kurt heaved a sigh. “E-I-E-I-O…”

  Ben’s laughter that time reached the stage, and Kurt stopped abruptly. “Do I have to do this, Patsy? This is so lame. Can’t you just use a stereo?”

  Turning briefly to smack Ben’s notebook to silence his laughter, Patricia replied, “No, Kirk, we can’t. You are very
essential to this production. You help to demonstrate the fact that the ghosts mean business.”

  Kurt’s shoulders sank. “But I just can’t get into this.”

  Patricia stood and put her hands on her hips. “You have to try. Like… think back to when you were little and would pretend you were a pirate, or a cowboy, or something. Could you do it then?”

  Kurt shrugged, looking confused. “Yeah, sure, but that was just pretend…”

  “That’s what acting is, genius,” Phillip muttered.

  Patricia decided to switch tactics. “Lots of girls come to the theater festival, Kurt,” she said. “Lots of girls. And your name is going to be in the program, so they’ll know it’s you…”

  Raising his eyebrows, Kurt stepped forward. “They will? But”—he suddenly looked doubtful—“won’t they laugh at me?”

  Patricia shook her head fervently. “Oh, no, not if you do a good job. They’ll think you’re awesome. Knocking over stuff and making scary sounds with no synthesizer? That’s really cool!”

  “We came up with this part especially for you, Kurt,” Grizz added, voice dripping in sweetness.

  “And you can do a really good job if you practice. Can’t he, Natalia?” Patricia looked at her expectantly.

  Natalia grinned and nodded at Kurt enthusiastically. “I believe in you, Kurt,” she cooed.

  “Really?” Kurt brightened at the thought. “All right!”

  Patricia glanced at her cell phone and said, “Okay, guys, we only have a few minutes left to use the stage, so let’s just finish this page of the script.”

  When they were done, the cast descended the stage steps, but Patricia moved to intercept Kurt. “Kurt, you need to stay a little longer. We have a job for you.”

  “Bummer,” he mumbled. Turning to Natalia, he whispered, “See you next time, babe,” earning a nod and giggle from her.

  “Okay,” Grizz said as she stood from where she’d been poring over spare fabric that she’d found for costumes, “I think the storeroom will have all the plywood we’ll need.”

  “This is gonna involve some heavy lifting,” Ben, once again eavesdropping, surmised. He rose to his feet and hopped over the row of seats before him. “I’ll come help.”

  “We can’t use power tools here on campus, so we’re going to need you to saw the wood and do everything else that requires your tools at home,” Patricia explained as they walked to the storeroom. “Then you can bring it to rehearsal and paint it here.”

  Kurt merely shrugged in response.

  Once inside, Grizz flipped on the light. “Man, this place is a sty,” she muttered, staring at the jumbled mess of poster boards, boxes, crates, and unnamable junk that covered the floor. Then her eyes lit up as she noticed the tall pieces of wood leaning against a shelving unit. “Bingo!”

  “That would be good for the door,” Patricia mused, pointing to a sheet of plywood that was balancing precariously atop the shelving unit.

  Grizz noticed a fat beam propped underneath a stack of wooden poles. “Hey, that would work, huh?”

  Before anyone could react, Kurt reached his long arm behind the poles and grabbed the beam. When he tugged it forward, it knocked loose the sheet of plywood and sent it soaring toward Patricia.

  “Look out!” Ben cried, wrapping his arms protectively around her as he quickly pushed her out of harm’s way.

  Heart hammering in her chest, Patricia kept her head down, clutching Ben’s arms. After a moment or two she dared to straighten up, cheeks growing warm when she realized how close Ben’s face was to her own as he peered at her in concern.

  “Are you okay?” Ben asked her, his voice still a bit raspy with adrenaline.

  Patricia nodded slightly, still not releasing her grip on Ben’s rather muscular arms. “Y-yeah, thanks.”

  Grizz whirled on Kurt. “You moron! You could’ve killed Patricia!”

  Kurt didn’t answer at first, staring at Patricia with wide eyes, his face shades paler than normal. “Oh, man,” he muttered in a daze. “I-I didn’t mean to…”

  Ben turned to Kurt, arms still protectively around Patricia. “You’ve gotta be careful, Kurt! I could’ve helped you move the wood! That was really dangerous!”

  Kurt nodded slowly, still seeming dazed. “Oh, man,” he repeated. “I’m really sorry. Are you okay?”

  Patricia sighed, finally straightening as Ben released her. She snapped back into director mode as soon as her heart slowed back to a normal pace. “Yeah, I know you didn’t mean to. Here, let’s just pick out the wood and you can carry it to the car. I’ll give you some drawings of how I want the pieces done, okay? Can you please have it done and back here on Tuesday so that we can start painting it?”

  Kurt shook his head quickly, then nodded. “Yeah, sure thing.”

  Once they’d loaded the wood into Ben’s car, Patricia gave Kurt detailed instructions on what she wanted done, handing him drawings and written directions so that he couldn’t claim he’d forgotten.

  As he got into the passenger seat, he rolled down the window and told Patricia, “I… I’m really sorry. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

  Patricia stared into his hazel eyes, which crinkled apologetically, and she knew he meant it. “I know you will,” she said with a small smile.

  Before Ben got in the car, he turned to Patricia. “You’re sure you’re okay?” he asked her quietly, placing a hand to her shoulder.

  Patricia flushed, folding her arms nervously. “Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks for rescuing me from the board of doom,” she said with a laugh.

  As the brothers drove away, Grizz turned to Patricia and said, “I can’t believe Kurt was so…”

  Patricia nodded, knowing exactly what Grizz was getting at. Maybe there is a human buried deep inside that musclebound brain after all, she mused with a lopsided smile.

  ❦

  “Okay, now let’s work on painting the door and the pillars,” Patricia told Grizz the following Tuesday. Turning to Kurt, she asked, “Can you bring over the door you built?”

  Kurt glanced at her, shifting uncomfortably. Patricia’s stomach knotted. Now that she thought of it, she hadn’t seen him bring anything in with him. Ben hadn’t been able to drive him to rehearsal that day, so they couldn’t be waiting in the car, either.

  “Kurt,” she began menacingly, “where are the set pieces I asked you to build?”

  “Oh, those,” Kurt replied with a laugh. “I forgot to bring them. Don’t worry, I finished them this weekend like you asked me to.”

  Why do I not believe you? Patricia wondered snidely. Sighing, she said, “Go help Grizz with the costumes.”

  Groaning, Kurt slowly shuffled over to Grizz, who was sitting on the floor surrounded by patterns, thread, pincushions, and a melee of clothing.

  “Come, my pet,” Grizz whispered eerily, removing a pin from her mouth and carefully pushing it into the pincushion. “I have a very important task for you. I need you to measure the cast for costumes.” She tossed him an electric blue measuring tape.

  “Sweet,” Kurt replied, starting to move toward Natalia and Nicole, who were running lines together in the corner. “Which lucky girl is first?”

  “Oh, no,” Grizz called after him teasingly, “not the girls. I need you to measure Peter–around his waist, his chest, then from the nape of his neck to his tail bone, please.”

  “What?!” Kurt recoiled in horror.

  Grizz shrugged innocently. “Well, I’m making his uniform jacket, and I need to be exactly sure of his measurements.”

  “B-but… can’t one of you chicks do it?”

  “No,” Patricia said harshly before Grizz could respond, “we’re busy. And you are supposed to be helping us. So unless you want to be here all night long, you had better do what Grizz tells you.”

  Kurt looked between Grizz and Patricia for a moment, seeming at a loss. Then he heaved a sigh. “Okay. Man, Zelda, this is cruel.” Cupping his hand over his mouth, he shouted, “Yo, Pete!”

&
nbsp; Peter looked up from his script. “Yeah?”

  “C’mere for a sec. I need to measure you.”

  Peter’s eyes widened as he shook his head fervently. “No.”

  Kurt turned back to Grizz and shrugged, tossing her the measuring tape. “Aw, too bad. He doesn’t want me to.”

  Grizz swiftly caught the tape and chucked it right back to him. Then she turned to Peter. “Peter,” she began coyly, batting her lashes and pouting her lips, “I’m very busy making this jacket, and I need your measurements. Won’t you be a sweetheart and let Kurt measure you, just this once?”

  Peter stared at Grizz for a moment in silence, mouth agape. Then he slowly nodded. “Okay.”

  As Kurt clumsily wrapped the tape around Peter’s chest, Peter growled, “One false move and I’ll punch your lights out.”

  Kurt rolled his eyes, calling out the number as he took each measurement. “Dude, same goes for you.”

  When the task was done, he trudged over to Grizz. “Good job,” she said. “Now I need you to sew the lace onto these sleeves.” Grizz lifted an old dress that she’d found in the prop closet and was currently embellishing to be Adeline’s costume. “And then the lace on the bodice as well. It’s already all pinned into place, so it should be a snap.”

  Kurt looked at the offered dress and sneered. “Sewing is for chicks, man. I’m not doing that.”

  “Well, if that isn’t the most sexist comment I’ve ever heard,” Grizz snarled, brandishing her sewing scissors.

  Patricia hurried over. “No, he’s right, Grizz. Sewing is for chicks. We can’t ask him to do that.”

  Kurt nodded. “Yeah, what she said.”

  “After all,” Patricia went on, “he wouldn’t know the first thing about sewing. It requires brain cells that he doesn’t possess.”

  Grizz nodded slowly, catching on. “Oh, yeah, definitely. Sorry, Kurt, it’s just too much to ask of you. You’re not smart enough to sew on a button.”

  Kurt looked affronted. “Hey—”

  “No, no.” Patricia held up her hands. “After all, it takes a keen mind and a steady hand to do something so complex. No mere man can do it."