The Way Back

by Dominique Kyle

  Jo rang. “Are you still up for meeting me at Mildenhall? Saturday at six-thirty?”

  “Yeah, course,” I agreed.

  “Just to warn you,” she added awkwardly. “Pete’s going to be there…”

  “Oh, that’s great! Is he driving again?”

  “No,” she sounded really awkward now. “No, he’s giving it up for good and selling all his cars. It’s just that Cerys wanted to see a Stock car event as she’s never been to one, and she’s staying over this weekend…”

  “Cerys?” I said vaguely.

  “Pete’s new girlfriend?” Jo sounded a bit self-conscious. “Guess he hasn’t told you then?”

  “I’ve not spoken to Pete since last Christmas before I left for Ferrari,” I said.

  “Right.” Her tone told me that this was news to her.

  I was a bit surprised she hadn’t known that.

  “Ok, well he met her in Cardiff when he went to the interviews for his degree,” she filled me in. “And on the basis of that chose to take the Cardiff offer and they’re quite an item now…”

  “What degree’s he doing?” I asked curiously.

  “Business,” she said abruptly.

  “Business?” I echoed, astounded.

  “Hmm, yeah, that’s what I thought too,” Jo agreed. “I’ve never noticed him being remotely entrepreneurial…”

  “Well, you know what Jo, he was being so secretive about it, I was worried he was planning on going to re-train as a hairdresser or something really dumb! So I guess anything’s better than that!”

  She laughed. “Ok, see you there. Oh, forgot to say, Cody’s coming too. Thought it would take some heat out of the whole Pete/Cerys thing… Bye!”

  She always did that. Signed off suddenly. Like once she’d finished what she had to say she couldn’t imagine that the other person may still have something more to discuss.

  I picked up my fork again. Nish and I were in the canteen after a run.

  “What was that about?” He asked nosily.

  “Mildenhall. I’m driving there on Saturday.” I saw his expression. “No, Nish,” I said firmly. “It’s two and a half hours of driving to get there and you’ll die of cramp if you sit behind me on the bike and you’ll die of exhaustion if you have to drive there and back yourself. We’ll be having to come back late at night.”

  “You could drive us there and back in my car,” he suggested.

  I stared at him. “I’m not on your insurance.”

  “It wouldn’t cost that much for me to put you on for a forty eight hour period,” he offered.

  I raised my eyebrows. “You’d trust me to drive your car?”

  He gave a slight smile. “Anyone who can drive that well at two hundred K an hour on the simulator, ought to be safe enough at seventy on the motorway! Yeah, I’d trust you to drive my car.”

  Whoa, I thought. I was getting my hands on a Ferrari at last – something I’d not even been given the opportunity to do when I worked at their place in Maranello!

  It was just as well Jo had warned me, because when we arrived and pulled in beside the Beast, Pete was helping her unload the cars.

  “You’ve gone up in the world,” Jo remarked, jerking her head at the cherry red 488 GTB.

  “I’m just Nish’s chauffeur,” I informed her.

  Nish got out and I watched Pete’s face as he clocked him for the first time. He looked shocked. That gave me a moment of surprisingly intense satisfaction.

  “Hi Pete,” I said casually.

  A woman came round the side of the transporter. Her face lit up when she saw me. “You must be Eve!” She enveloped me into her ample bosom. “Hello Honey, I’ve been dying to meet you!” She had a really strong Welsh accent.

  I emerged from the squish feeling almost as shocked as Pete had looked. She was like a younger, darker, welsher version of my stepmother. All curves and bosom and deep gurgling laugh and rosy red cheeks and dark straight hair tied back.

  “You look like a peg doll,” I blurted out.

  She gurgled in hilarity. “I’m a bit too curvaceous for that, Honey!”

  “I didn’t say ‘a stick figure’,” I pointed out. “It’s your cheeks and eyes and hair, like the ones that get drawn on a peg doll.”

  She laughed heartily. Pete didn’t. He gave me a look verging on dislike and said to Cerys. “Well anyway, let’s go for a wander and I’ll introduce you to folk and explain what’s going on…”

  As they walked away she tucked her hand in his arm and leaned intimately into him.

  “Well!” I remarked, almost lost for words.

  “I know,” Jo agreed dourly.

  “She’s about as opposite to me as you could possibly get!” I summed up.

  “Who’s he?” Nish asked curiously.

  “My brother,” Jo explained in an annoyed tone. “Eve and he went out for a bit, a long time ago now.”

  “He was World Champion for a couple of years,” I added, as I knew that would be something that would interest Nish.

  “But what she won’t tell you,” Jo explained to Nish, “Is that he was only World Champion because Eve let him. The first year she suddenly forgot where her accelerator was in last hundred metres, and the second year she suddenly had mysteriously invisible ‘engine trouble’ and pulled out. She could have easily’ve had the title for three years now.”

  Nish frowned at me. “Why did you do that?”

  I shrugged. “He needed it more than me,” I said.

  Nish stared at me as though he couldn’t understand that concept. Jo snorted.

  “He did, Jo, you know that he did,” I insisted.

  She sighed. “I guess it’s why he’s been able to let go and start a new life…” She agreed.

  I glanced up to see Cody standing in the door of the Beast. I smiled. “Hiya, how you doing?”

  She looked a bit glum and lowered herself reluctantly down. I saw the look she darted at the cars. It was a look of dread.

  “Come here, Cody,” I ordered with a click of the fingers. I pointed to the spot in front of me. “Ok Cody – hands behind your back, stand up straight and look me in the eye.”

  She hesitated, then did it. I looked meaningfully at her. “Now I want complete honesty from you – are you looking forward to driving today?”

  There was a pause, then she gave a tiny shake of the head.

  “And is this just for today or would you prefer to give up driving right now, this minute, and not finish the rest of the season?”

  She took a deep breath and then nodded.

  Jo was staring at us. Nish watched on curiously.

  “So Cody, how about you go off and enjoy yourself today on the stands, and we tell your dad that you’d rather finish the contract early?”

  The colour flooded back into her cheeks.

  “So shall I tell him or shall you?”

  “You,” she petitioned in relief.

  “Ok, I’ll ring him tomorrow,” I said. “Off you go to Wentworth, or whoever it is these days!”

  She darted off across the pits.

  It was Jo’s turn to look shocked. “That was a bit sudden!”

  I shook my head. “Why do you think she was doubled over and crying last time? Because she was so stressed. She perked up the second I told her she needn’t drive. How many accidents has she had?”

  “Three big ones,” Jo reported with a sigh.

  “And we both know she’s not going to improve, so she might as well save her dad’s money and find something that she’s better at…”

  “So does that mean we have a spare car?” Nish interrupted.

  I smiled at him. “Yes, Nish, this means we have a spare car. Have you ever driven on shale before?”

  He eyed my own car. “What does that double gold stripe mean?”

  I didn’t bother having it on my tarmac car which had the World Champion’s completely gold roof and wing.

  “It means,” Jo supplied dryly, “that she’s the World of Shale Champi
on.”

  He frowned queryingly.

  “Which is a completely dumb name for the World Champion on Shale,” Jo explained mischievously.

  Nish sighed. “So I guess that means I’m in for a walloping again?”

  I grinned at him. “Too right,” I told him. “This is where I whip your ass, Posh Boy!”

  “Sounds like fun,” a voice came from behind us. “Ever thought of becoming a dominatrix in your spare time, Eve?”

  I glanced round. Jonny from Stoxradio. “You’d better not have that recording device switched on,” I threatened.

  Jonny just smiled.

  Nish sounded incredulous. “I didn’t qualify from the front – again! And you came through from the back and came first – again!”

  I smiled kindly at him. “You’ll qualify in the Consolation. You did last time.”

  But his ego was taking almost as much of a battering as his car, I could tell. It would do him the world of good, I thought as I hid my laughter.

  As I’d predicted, he did manage to qualify in the Consolation. But I could see he was coming over all drained so I told him to go and have a lie down in the Beast until I called him out for the Final. When I peeped in, he was already asleep. I sighed. I really, really hoped this wretched illness was going to pass off by next January, or his driving career would probably be over.

  “What do you think of Pete and Cerys then?” Jo asked as we leant back against the bonnet of the Beast, sipping our scalding coffees.

  “I feel surprisingly gutted,” I admitted.

  “Really?” Jo looked amazed.

  I drew a pattern in the dirt on the bonnet and avoided her eyes. “It’s just that last summer when you all kept asking if we were back together – Pete had burst into tears and told me he still loved me, and begged me to come back to him.”

  Jo stared at me.

  “And he started being so nice to me that I was beginning to actually think ‘maybe’, but then when they firebombed the stables and I completely lost it, he announced he couldn’t cope with me and disappeared off into the sunset…”

  “The git!” She exclaimed, slamming her coffee down so that it spilt all over.

  I was startled by her reaction.

  “Honestly Eve, I could throttle him!” She said passionately. “First of all he sleeps with someone else and breaks your heart, then he spends two years whining on that he still loves you…then when you actually turn round and are about to agree to give him a another chance he goes and rejects you a second time at a moment when you’re beside yourself with distress! No wonder you were such a mess!” She bit fiercely into the top of her polystyrene cup, leaving a semi-circular indentation and glared ahead of her. “I could slap him!”

  Dear Jo, she was so loyal.

  “Are you and Nish..?” She left the sentence hanging.

  I shook my head. I was watching a small figure wending her way through the pit area. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place her. About ten years old, skinny with shoulder length brown hair. Her grey eyes were searching systematically through the cars and then her eyes met mine. They lit up.

  “Nad?” I said uncertainly.

  She rushed towards me and threw herself into my arms. Jo looked blank.

  “Where’s Mummy?” I asked, looking around. I could really do without having to face Jeanette right now.

  “She’s not here,” she said.

  “Who did you come with then?” I asked.

  “No-one,” she revealed defiantly. “I ran away and came on my own.”

  “Right…” I edged cautiously. “And where do you live these days?”

  “Cambridge,” she informed me in a sharp tight little voice.

  Tyler had always joked that his Nad was the one most like me, bolshy and fierce. Seems he was right.

  “I came to find you, because I don’t want to live with Mum anymore. I want to come back with you and I want to start driving the Micro F2s.”

  My heart sank. She had probably turned ten and her mother had refused to let her start the Micros or the Ministox, and she’d figured that if she came to me, I would be able to magically sort it out for her. Jo and I exchanged glances over her head. Mine was worried. Jo’s was outright appalled.

  “How about we go and get you a hot chocolate and a burger,” I suggested, “because you must be really hungry after having come all this way.” I glanced at my watch. Half seven. “What time is your bed time?” I asked.

  She glowered. “Nine.”

  I was going to have to try to get Jeanette’s phone number out of Nad, because she’d be beside herself if she realised Nad was missing. I jerked my head at Jo to tell her to come with us.

  At the stall I said to Nad, “You study the list and decide what you want. I just need a word with Jo.”

  I pulled Jo out of earshot. “Ring your dad, Jo, and see if he has Jeanette’s latest phone number. But it sounds like she’s moved again so he might not. If he hasn’t, explain what’s happened and ask him to urgently find out by some means what it is. Then when he gives it to you, ring Jeanette and explain to her that Nad’s turned up here. Don’t mention me. Tell her she’s fine, and promise to bring her back about nine. Come and find me and give me the thumbs up if you’ve done it, and thumbs down if your dad’s drawn a blank…”

  She nodded and quickly walked away, getting straight on her phone.

  I bought Nad what she wanted and we sat on the stands while she ate it.

  “Nish and I need to drive the Final now,” I explained.

  Her expression changed. She looked wounded, betrayed and accusing. “Is Nish your new boyfriend?”

  I shook my head. “No darling, your dad was so lovely and special that I’ve never had another boyfriend because no-one can match up to him…”

  She relaxed and smiled shyly up at me. “Do you still love my daddy?” She asked.

  My eyes filled with tears. “Yes,” I said. It was such a relief to say it. No-one else ever allowed me to.

  Her eyes filled with tears too. “So do I,” she said.

  I extracted Nish from the transporter and introduced them both. “Nish, this is Nadia Tyler, my fiancé’s youngest daughter. Nad, this is Nish Gilbraith. He’s a Formula One Grand Prix driver, so your daddy would have loved having a crack with him, wouldn’t he?”

  Nad looked in a bit of an awed way at Nish. “Yes, he would,” she agreed.

  After the race, Nish came over to stand by me while the post-race scrutineering was going on. “God, your fiancé already had children? How old was he for goodness sake?”

  Suddenly, my relationship with Tyler seemed a bit odd. “Thirty-six,” I said defensively.

  I saw Nish’s expression. “It was fine, Nish,” I snapped. “No girl lies in her bed dreaming of falling in love with someone who’s divorced and has kids and is so much older, but it just happened, right? And he didn’t want it to happen either! But it did. So deal with it!” I felt abrasively aggressive. Like his expression had just assaulted my precious inner temple.

  Nish shrugged. “It’s your life…” He dismissed, turning away.

  Jo brought Nad over to watch the scrutineering. Behind Nad’s back she gave me a secret thumbs up. I gave a sigh of relief. I glanced at my watch. It was after eight already and at least half an hour’s drive to Cambridge. I backed up towards to Jo and she slipped a piece of paper in my hand. “I got the address off her in case Nadia refuses to tell you. She was nearly hysterical when I rang – apparently Nadia’s been missing since four. But now she’s just furious.”

  “Lovely,” I drawled sarcastically. “That’s just what I need!”

  I went back to Nish and Nad. Nad was helpfully explaining what was going on to Nish, and he was nodding seriously as though she was telling him something new. The elderly scrutineer was meeting Nish’s gaze and exchanging amused glances. I came up behind them and rested a hand on Nad’s shoulder.

  “You know Nat Tyler’s daughter, don’t you?” I said to him.
>
  “I do,” the man agreed with a fond smile at her. He was a local with a right broad accent. “I got lumbered with bottle feeding her on the stands once while Nat was racing. How Nat thought he was going to drive the World Semi Finals with two babies in tow, beats me!”

  Nad stared in an awed way at him. And I thought about Tyler taking us down to Mothercare to buy stuff for Quinn’s baby sister a couple of hours before the European Championship, and I whisked a tear from my eye.

  “Are you going to follow in your father’s footsteps young miss?” He asked her, waving his ruler in her direction.

  “Yes, she is,” I answered for her. “And we’re going to see a lot more ‘N. Tyler’s on all the cups, aren’t we, sweetheart?” I squeezed her shoulder encouragingly.

  She nodded, her eyes fixed hopefully on my face.

  “Did Daddy call you ‘Sweetheart’ or ‘Sweetie’?” I asked suddenly.

  “Sweetie,” she confirmed. That made sense. That’s what he’d called Quinn’s baby sister. He saved ‘Sweetheart’ for me.

  “Are you dead set on driving the last race?” I asked Nish.

  He spread his hands. “It’s up to you. I’m not saying it hasn’t been fun, but it’s not one of my best days…” His tone was apologetic.

  I could see he’d been looking drained all day. “It’s just that we need to stop off at Cambridge to drop Nad off before her bedtime, so it would be better if we left now…”

  Nad looked at me with an expression of gut wrenching betrayal and burst into tears.

  I sat in the passenger seat of the car while Nish drove, with Nad squashed in on my lap. I hugged her bony little shoulders while they racked with repeated sobs.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” She wailed. “I hate her! I really hate her! And I hate him too!”

  “Who?” I asked. I wasn’t going to chide her for hating. I knew all about hating. And when you’re young it’s so hard to manage your feelings.

  “She left Daddy for another man and then she decided she didn’t like him either and now she says this latest one is going to be my new Daddy and I don’t want a new Daddy – I want my own Daddy!”