by I. T. Lucas
“Did it help?”
“Yes.” He bent down and took her sweet lips in a gentle, chaste kiss. “I need to brush my teeth, but I’ll be right back.”
“I want to freshen up too.” She followed him into the bathroom.
They ended up taking another shower together, and since the urgency had been sated earlier in the day, Lokan luxuriated in exploring every inch of Carol’s body with long, gentle caresses, soaping and massaging and rinsing and then repeating the process again.
She didn’t rush him to do more, letting him memorize her. Because that was what he was doing. Consciously, Lokan was thinking about the days of separation he would have to endure, but subconsciously he was terrified that she might never come back.
Would his father kill Carol if he discovered that she was an immortal?
Probably not. Navuh was many things, but wasteful wasn’t one of them. He would give her to the soldiers, which was terrible but at least she would live, so he could come for her. Kian was not going to stop him if that happened. He was sure of that. His cousin would launch an attack on the island to free Carol.
That was the most significant difference between the clan and the Brotherhood, between Annani and Navuh. Annani cared for each one of her people and treated them as individuals, precious and cherished, as family, and so did Kian.
To Navuh, they were all cogs in his machine and a means to an end.
62
Carol
Lokan was in a strange mood.
Up until now, Carol had experienced him as mostly playful and flirtatious, sometimes suspicious, often contemplative, and on occasion frustrated and angry, but never desperate or clingy.
He was too proud to voice his fears, but Carol could see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he was touching her. It was as if he was trying to memorize every inch of her body, her face, looking into her eyes and kissing her so softly, so tenderly, it made her feel like crying.
Carol had had men lust after her, obsess over her, and Robert had even thought that he’d been in love with her, but none of them had ever touched her and looked at her like Lokan was doing now.
“You are not going to lose me,” she whispered as his hands coasted down her rib cage, dipping into her waist and smoothing over the flare of her hips.
He looked surprised that she’d read him so easily “I know. Logically, that is.” He cupped her ass and pulled her closer. “But my gut and my heart are in cahoots against my brain. My instincts scream for me to hold on tight and never let you go out of my sight, while my brain calls me an emotional fool. The dissonance creates a storm.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down for a kiss. “That’s the mated male in you. It will get easier with time. The Guardians’ mates must go through the same emotional turmoil every time their partners go out on a mission, but they deal with it because they have to. Can you imagine Anandur telling Kian that he can’t go out and fight because his mate can’t handle it? Or Brundar?”
“The blond? He is mated as well?”
“Yes, he is.” She touched a finger to his elongated fang, then stretched on her toes to lick around it.
Lokan groaned and pushed her against the tiled wall. “I want to pleasure you.”
Slowly bending down to his knees, he kissed her breasts, her belly, the top of her mound.
“My Aphrodite.” He cupped her breasts. “I wish I was a talented sculptor. I would have erected a temple in your honor.”
Carol chuckled, happy that Lokan was back to his playful, flirtatious self.
“You think I’m joking?” He tweaked her nipples, then cupped them again. “I’m serious. When I’m king of the island, I’ll make you its official goddess.”
Carol let her head drop back against the tiles and laughed.
But as Lokan lifted her leg over his shoulder and teased the top of her sex with his tongue, the laughter died on her lips, replaced by a throaty moan.
Then he delved between her puffy folds, and the leg holding her up buckled, but he caught her, twisted over to the bench, and set her down.
“Spread your legs for me,” he said as he applied light pressure on her inner thighs.
Carol obeyed readily, and Lokan rewarded her with more delicious tongue teasing, giving the top of her sex all the attention it craved and pushing a finger inside her. Then another.
There was nothing hurried in the way he pleasured her. Alternating between soft kisses and delicate licks, his fingers gently followed the rhythm of her undulating hips.
With all her vast experience, Carol had never had a lover so attuned to her, so focused on her pleasure, and it felt odd to her to just receive and not reciprocate. But she felt that Lokan needed this, and she needed to let him have his way this time.
Pleasuring her with his lips and his tongue and his long fingers, he brought her to one orgasm after another, and then lifted her in his strong arms and entered her in one powerful thrust.
Carol climaxed again, and as he pounded into her like a man possessed, pushing her against the wet tiles and growling like an animal, she felt the coil inside her tighten until it could tighten no more. It sprung loose as Lokan sank his fangs in her neck.
Floating on the wings of euphoria, she felt him come inside her and had the insane thought that maybe this time they had created a new life. Letting her imagination carry her away, she pictured a little boy with Lokan’s dark eyes and her blond curls.
63
Lokan
Lokan dived off the edge, propelling himself up in the air before reversing direction and cutting into the water with his steepled hands. He was on the other side of the pool in seconds, flipped around, and continued in butterfly style, just because it showcased his back and arm muscles, making Carol drool.
Besides, he had shitloads of nervous energy to burn.
They were waiting to hear from Turner, and if his phone call with Gorchenco went well, the next step was the toxin test, which was terrifying.
The boost in adrenaline propelling him faster, Lokan reached the other side of the pool and flipped around, continuing in freestyle.
Sitting by the side of the pool, Carol dangled her legs in the water and watched him with an amused smile on her face.
They were both putting on an act.
He didn’t need Arwel’s empathic ability to sense Carol’s stress and fear. Lokan had never been in stasis, but those who had had reported that it felt like death. Warriors were prepared for that to happen, and Lokan had been too, but Carol wasn’t a warrior. She was a civilian with dreams of becoming a spy.
His mate was courageous, but she wasn’t stupidly so. Carol was well aware of the huge risk she was taking, which was oddly reassuring. He would have been even more worried if her attitude were nonchalant.
When Arwel’s phone buzzed with a message, Carol’s head snapped in his direction. Lokan swam to where she was sitting and clasped her hand.
“It’s a go,” Arwel said. “Turner is flying to New York to meet with Gorchenco and iron out the details.”
Carol sucked in a breath. “I’d better get dressed.”
“Is there a chance your doctor can perform the test here? I want to be with you.”
“We have a clinic here, but I don’t know if it has all the equipment she needs. Besides, I can’t ask her to come here. She is extremely busy.”
“Ella and Vivian have already transitioned. Your doctor can’t have too many patients to take care of, and you don’t have humans who get sick or injured.”
“That’s not the only thing Bridget does. But I’ll ask her.”
Arwel shook his head. “Don’t. Kian mentioned something about Annani wanting to give you her blessing. You can’t ask the goddess to come here as well.”
“Right.” She looked at him with apologetic eyes. “It seems that you will have to wait for me with your fingers crossed.”
Lokan rested his head on her lap. “I’ll go insane waiting and not knowing what’s going on with
you.”
Stroking his hair, she bent down and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll tell you what we will do. Arwel is going to stay with you, and I’ll ask someone to call him with updates. That way you will know what is happening every step of the way.”
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “What if the unthinkable happens?”
“It won’t. I’m an immortal, Lokan. What are the only ways to kill one of us?”
He shook his head.
“Say it. What are the three ways to kill an immortal?”
“Four.”
“Okay. Let’s have them.”
Reluctantly, he lifted a finger. “One, decapitation.” He lifted a second one. “Two, cutting out the heart. Three, massive injuries that overwhelm our bodies’ self-repair mechanism, which can happen in an explosion or a fire or a big-ass bullet to the head or the heart. Four, nuclear wind.”
She waved a hand. “You see? There is no mention of poisons or toxins.”
“What if that was never tried and poison is method number five?”
Carol arched a brow. “I’m sure it has been tried, and more than once. But I can ask the doctor. And in any case, Bridget has an antidote.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“No, but I’m sure she does. I’ll ask her as soon as I get there and let you know. How about that?”
“Don’t forget.”
“I won’t.”
64
Carol
Fear coursing through her veins, Carol drove to the village in a daze, missing turns and having to backtrack to continue in the right direction.
Having Lokan with her would have made this so much easier. He could’ve held her hand. Perhaps she could ask Ella to be with her. The girl had just transitioned, but she should be fine. Ella was a fighter, and she wasn’t the type who would faint at the sight of a needle.
In the short time they had known each other, Ella had become Carol’s best friend. Perhaps the violation they had both suffered and survived had made them kindred spirits, or perhaps it was the warrior souls that they both possessed under their small, feminine forms, and their refusal to be labeled as victims.
Or maybe it was all of those combined. The bottom line was that Carol had never had a bestie before and now she did.
After placing the call, she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for Ella’s voice to come through the car’s loudspeakers.
“Hi, Carol. What’s up?”
“I’m on my way to the village, and I wondered if you are busy.”
“I’m never too busy to meet up for coffee and juicy gossip. When are you going to get here?”
“Twenty minutes or so. Coffee and gossip sound lovely, but that’s not what I’m calling about.” Carol closed her eyes for a split second. “I’m heading to the clinic to meet Bridget, and I need you to hold my hand when I die.”
Ella sucked in a breath. “Oh my God, Carol, is this some kind of a joke? Because it’s not funny!”
“I’m sorry. With all that’s going on, I thought that I told you about the experiment. I’m not really going to die, but I’m going to enter stasis, which feels like dying, and I’m scared shitless even though Bridget is going to monitor me every step of the way and then revive me. That’s why I need my bestie to hold my hand.”
“Of course, I’ll be there for you. But what the hell are you talking about, and why do you need to enter stasis?”
Could it be that she hadn’t told Ella any of it?
Apparently, falling for a guy messed with a woman’s head, because Carol couldn’t remember who she’d told about the mission. It was either that or stress.
“This is supposed to be kept quiet, but I’m sure Julian knows, so it’s okay if you want to talk with him about it, or with Bridget or Turner.” She took a deep breath and then slowly released it. “So here is the story in a nutshell. We have reason to believe that Annani’s half-sister Areana is alive and held captive in Navuh’s harem. We also believe that Areana is Lokan’s mother.”
“Oh, wow, that’s huge.”
“Precisely. So, we came up with a plan for me to go to the island and get assigned a servant job in the harem. I can then dream-share with Lokan and tell him what I’ve found. But the only way to get out of there is to fake my own death. Bridget suggested an insulin pump that will be rigged with a toxin that is deadly to humans, but she wants to test it first in a controlled setting.”
“Obviously, there is much more to this story, but I should get dressed and head to the clinic to meet you. You can tell me the rest after you are revived.”
“Thank you. You are the best. See you in a few.”
Puffing out a breath, Carol felt like at least half of her anxiety had been lifted. The prospect of dying was much less scary with a loved one holding her hand. But since Lokan couldn't be with her, Ella was the next best one.
When Carol arrived at the clinic, she found Ella in the waiting room, as well as Kian.
She arched a brow. “Are you here to hold my hand as well?”
Usually, she wouldn’t have dared to tease Kian, but as someone who was about to experience death, Carol figured that she was allowed some leeway.
Looking uncomfortable, he raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m here for moral support in any shape or form. If you need me to hold your hand, I’ll gladly do it.”
That was so sweet of him that Carol felt like kissing his cheek. So she did. “I appreciate the offer, but I already asked Ella to do that. What you can do for me is to keep Arwel informed at every stage of the process, so he can keep Lokan in the loop. Naturally, this is very stressful for him.”
“I can imagine. I’ll keep a steady stream of updates.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
The door opened and Bridget stepped out. “Good afternoon, Carol. I understand that you invited Ella to be with you during the procedure?”
Carol nodded.
“Do you mind if Kian joins us as well?”
As if she could refuse him even if she wanted to. But Bridget was just following protocol, and it was the patient's decision who she allowed to witness the procedure.
“I want him here. Kian is going to keep Lokan informed.”
Bridget nodded. “Very well. Do you want something to calm you down before we proceed? I can hear your heart racing from here.”
Carol was tempted, but that would be a mistake. She wouldn’t have anything to calm her nerves on the island, and it was better to find out if she was capable of pulling the trigger, so to speak, while freaking out.
“No, thank you. This test is more than just about the effect of the toxin. I need to find out if I have the guts to inject myself while knowing it will feel like death.”
“I agree.” Bridget waved a hand toward the patient room Ella was in just the day before. “Let’s do it.”
After Carol changed into a hospital johnny, Bridget had her pee on a freaking stick to make sure she wasn't pregnant, and then she took a blood sample without saying what it was for.
Carol hoped the doctor didn't think she was still using drugs, but she could understand why Bridget felt the need to double check.
When the doctor returned from her lab, she hooked Carol to the monitoring equipment, attached the rigged insulin pump to her belly, and explained how to trigger the toxin delivery.
“Any questions?”
“Is it going to hurt?”
Bridget smiled. “I wouldn’t do that to you. You’ll feel lightheaded, then dizzy, and then you will pass out. Any other questions?”
“How long is it going to take until I lose consciousness?”
“No more than five minutes. Anything else?”
Carol remembered that she’d promised Lokan to ask some questions, but she was so nervous that they hovered at the edge of her consciousness and she couldn’t get a grip on them. “There was something else.”
“Take your time. We are not in a hurry. I plan on leaving you in stasis
for several hours and monitoring you throughout.”
“Oh, right. Now I remember. Do you have an antidote?”
“I do, but it won’t be necessary. Our bodies can handle the toxin.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. But just in case, the antidote is insurance.”
Was there anything else? Carol couldn’t remember.
“I want to text Arwel.” Since her hands were shaking, she handed Ella her phone. “Can you type it for me?”
“Sure.”
“I’m ready to go, and I’m doing fine. Ella is here with me to hold my hand, and Kian is also here for moral support. He is going to keep the updates going via texts. Wish me luck.”
“That’s it?” Ella asked.
When Carol nodded, Ella sent the text, put the phone on the bedside table, and took Carol’s hand.
“I’ll try not to squeeze too hard.” Her lips were trembling almost as bad as her hands, but Carol managed to force a smile.
Kian frowned. “Maybe I should hold your hand. Ella’s bones are not strong enough yet.”
Carol shook her head. “No offense, Kian, but Ella is my best friend. The positive energy flowing from her to me is precious. I’ll be mindful of the fragility.” She offered Ella another weak smile.
Kian patted her shoulder. “Just to ease your fears, Annani is on standby to offer her blessing, and I can attest to its effectiveness. When Syssi didn’t do well during her transition, my mother’s blessing helped her through.”
“I appreciate it. Thank you. I’m good to go.”
Taking a deep breath, Carol closed her eyes, counted back from three, and pressed the trigger.
As she waited for the toxin to do its thing, she wondered what or who she would miss most about this life if she died for real. Flipping through her mental album of loved ones’ faces, she kept coming back to just one.
Lokan’s.
She loved him.
Damn. Hopefully she would live to tell him that.
