“You can’t protect someone from love. Besides, I wouldn’t have Tarrin.” Selena forced herself to smile. “I treasure him.”
“True.” Juan gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and released her.
“What about you?” Selena put a hand to her brother’s cheek. “Have you married? Do you have children?”
“No and no.” Juan shook his head. “I have no room in my heart for love. I see no point in attachments when those you love are ripped from you.”
“You’ve seen too much death and loss.” Selena sighed. “We both refuse to trust again.”
“It is safer.”
“It is also lonely.”
Selena looked up into her brother’s eyes. She understood only too well what he felt. After Catal’s betrayal she had shunned others. Tarrin had forced her back into the world, but her heart had remained locked away. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“It is time.” She hugged him tight. “I love you.”
Juan stood. “I am always here for you. Whatever you need.”
Selena nodded. “Be safe.”
Juan nodded and then turned to the door. “Remember to call me when you have news.”
The next second, he was gone.
Selena sat and flung her head back on the couch. How had he managed to get over the border? He was crazy to risk capture. It would have been better if he had sent someone else to give her the money and message. Still, it was good to see her brother.
They were both survivors.
They had just chosen a different way to deal with it.
Juan had become bitter and cynical. The betrayal and loss of his men had made him turn his back on any meaningful relationships. Instead, he had buried himself in his work. The only thing he allowed himself to care for now was her and Tarrin.
She had chosen to hide. A life of safety and seclusion in exchange for love. It hurt less, but she felt empty. If she didn’t have Tarrin, she wouldn’t have a reason for living. A stab of pain made her clutch her chest. What would she do if he didn’t come home alive?
A knock at the door made her sit up.
“Who is it?”
“Catal.”
“Go away.” Selena cleared her throat. “I have no wish to see you.”
“I have news about the boys.”
Chapter 10
The door opened before Catal had finished speaking. He fought to hide his pain. She couldn’t stand to have him near, not even for a shoulder to lean on. The only thing he could do for Selena was bring her son back. He wouldn’t fail. Already they had more information than the police.
Partlan had escaped the house when he and Selena were at the rendezvous. The other Hunters had started searching through the video they had taken at the exchange site. Soon they would know who had picked up the ransom and that would lead to the kidnappers. It was only a matter of time before they found the boys.
Selena brushed her dark hair from her face. By Cygnus, she was beautiful. Every cell in his body craved to pull her close and ease her fears. He forced himself to keep his hands at his side. She was too fragile right now. Any move on his part would send her over the edge.
Selena moved aside and let him enter. She closed the door and leaned against it. “What have you found?”
“Partlan and the others have been reviewing the video tape we took of the ransom drop.” Catal walked into the tiny living space.
The scent of a man’s aftershave assaulted Catal.
An intruder.
He pushed Selena behind him and scanned the room for the trespasser. Nothing was out of place. Selena’s fist hit his back. He shrugged it off. His focus was on protection. He’d been slack in letting her return alone to her quarters.
“Who’s here?” His voice was a low snarl.
“Nobody.” Selena pushed at his back. “I’m alone.”
“Someone has been in this room.”
Selena exhaled. “Juan just left.”
Catal’s eyes widened and he turned around. “Your brother?”
“That’s the only Juan I know.” Selena’s voice was sharp. “He snuck in when we were out of the house.”
“What did he want?” Catal eased his muscles.
“To make certain I was safe.” Selena shrugged. “I haven’t seen him since I came to the United States, but he’d heard about the kidnapping. He wanted to help.”
“We will find Tarrin. Juan doesn’t need to worry.”
“You can go unless you have some news.” Selena’s voice was dismissive.
Catal clenched his jaw. “We should know soon who the kidnappers are. They will lead us to the boys.”
“How soon?”
“After the videotapes have been examined.”
“What happens if you come up empty like the FBI?” Selena crossed her arms.
“We have another lead we are following.”
“Then why aren’t you there now?” Selena’s eyes narrowed. “These monsters have already tricked you once.”
“It would be better for the boys if the kidnappers felt safe.” Catal kept his voice even. “We want them to feel secure. We want them to make a mistake.”
“You don’t think they have the boys with them.”
“Do you?” Catal didn’t hide his exasperation. “You’re from a country where kidnappings are frequent. You know what we’re dealing with here.”
“Yes I do.” Selena spat the words at him. “That’s why I’m so frantic. How many kidnappings have you been involved with?”
Catal inhaled a calming breath. “More than I care to think about. I have dealt with it from both sides.”
Selena gasped. “You’ve abducted people?”
“It was part of the job.” Catal cringed at how callous he sounded, but it was too late to make apologies for the life he had lived before joining Ardal’s unit. He had survived.
“How did your kidnappings play out?” Selena’s voice was a whisper. “Did you kill the people?”
“No.” Catal straightened his shoulders. He wasn’t proud of his past, but he had never broken the Sacred Code. “There would have been no honor in that. We did what we were paid for. In the end, our victims were always released.”
“What if they identified you?”
“They knew better.”
“So you used fear to keep them quiet?” Selena shook her head. “Is there honor in that?”
“Perhaps not, but it was better than not keeping our word. We said if the money was paid, then the victims would be set free. We are men of our word.”
“What if they didn’t pay?”
“That wasn’t a problem.”
Catal forced his voice to stay calm. There had been times when money wasn’t the reason for the abduction. Politically motivated kidnappings were meant to remove opponents. In those cases, he’d set up the victims in a new place where they could start their lives over. If they desired, he’d make arrangements for their families to meet them. Their clients had been satisfied that their opposition was out of the picture, and his honor had been left intact.
Selena bit her lip. “Who are these possible suspects?”
“We will interview these men and see what they have to say.”
Catal kept his voice neutral. He believed their initial assessment of the paparazzi was correct. The kidnappers were among them, but he didn’t want to get Selena’s hope up if it didn’t pan out. Secrecy was best at this point. The last thing they wanted was to frighten them into fleeing before they knew where the boys were.
“You mean you’re going to interrogate and torture them.” Selena shook her head. “You forget, I know how you operate.”
“I never resorted to torture.” Catal fought back his frustration. “I’m with Ardal now. We do things differently.”
“How different?” Selena’s tone was doubtful.
“We help those who need it.” Catal kept his voice low. “We right the wrongs we find. We always do things with honor.”
“Why the dif
ference?” She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t seem inclined to change in the past.”
“I have learned that some humans can be trusted.” Catal kept his gaze fixed on Selena.
“Somehow that doesn’t comfort me.” Selena hugged her arms close to her body.
“I can’t change the man I was.” Catal took a step closer to her. “I am bonded to you. I might not have understood that in the past, but I have never lied to you.”
Selena gave him a pained look. “I don’t want to talk about your lies. Right now, all I want from you, is my son back.”
Catal forced back the agony her words produced. He had failed her in the past. When he should have been protecting her, he had been away on a mission. He had followed orders, but he knew differently now. Never should he have left his mate in danger. He would make it right.
The last years without Selena had been pure anguish.
He couldn’t continue to live like that.
“We need to talk.”
“When have we ever talked?” Selena’s voice was sarcastic.
Catal winced at her words. “True, but there are things you need to know about me.”
“You told me nothing about yourself. All I know is that you are a mercenary who was disloyal to my brother.”
“I never betrayed you.”
“Juan disagrees.” Selena’s voice was weary. “He said it was a Hunter who had destroyed the camp. The truth was that you were never working for us, but for another government.”
“That’s not what happened.” Catal wiped his hand over his face and sighed. “I came back from the last mission and you were gone. There was nothing left of the base camp except bodies. I searched each one to be certain you weren’t one of the dead.”
“What about your life before?” Selena tilted her head. “How long have you been a mercenary?”
Something in Selena’s voice forced Catal to look at her. Her eyes didn’t waver from him. In their depths, he saw wariness and uncertainty. Perhaps now was the time to tell her the truth. Honesty would be the only way to prove that he had changed. It would show that he trusted her completely.
“What do you want to know?” Catal’s jaw clenched.
“Firbin hinted at something that I didn’t understand.”
Catal reached out for Firbin with his mind. “What did you tell Selena?”
“I thought you had told your mate the truth about how you arrived on this planet.” Firbin’s voice was apologetic. “Once I realized she did not know, I stopped.”
Selena was looking at him. Her eyes were expectant. She stood in the center of the room, with arms crossed and shoulders back. She wouldn’t settle for less than the truth. He must open himself to her and trust. She deserved to know who he was. All these years on earth and never had he told a human the truth about himself. This was not an ordinary human, though.
This was his mate.
The woman he held close to his soul.
“When I was ten years old, I was on a training exercise that went wrong.” Catal exhaled a deep breath.
“What kind of training operation does a ten year old go on?” Selena’s voice held disbelief.
“My training started when I could walk.” Catal’s voice was devoid of emotion. There was nothing he could do about his past. “A Hunter spends his whole childhood training to be a warrior. That is one of the reasons we are the best.”
“One of them? Does that mean that there are others?”
“Yes.” Catal rubbed the back of his neck. This was more difficult than he had thought possible. He had buried the truth deep. He had no intention of ever telling anyone his background. It was the first brutal lesson he had learned on this planet. Blend in. Act human. It was safer that way.
“Hunters have been genetically modified to be the best warriors. At birth we were given implants that helped us focus and develop quicker.”
“We don’t have that kind of technology.” Selena shook her head. “If we did, it would be illegal.”
“Nevertheless it is true.”
Selena frowned. “Why would they do this?”
“It made us warriors. There is none better than a Hunter.” Catal cleared his throat. “We had implants that provided us with chemicals and biologicals that made us stronger.”
“Steroids?”
Catal shrugged. “I have no idea what they were. Besides the chemicals that helped us, there were implants that made certain we would only concentrate on our duty. They blocked our natural tendencies.”
Selena shook her head and sat on the couch. “This is sounding complicated. Wouldn’t strength be the only thing you needed help with?”
Catal shook his head. “We need complete focus to duty. Hunters are used for only one thing. We are warriors. Any other kind of life is denied us.”
Selena was silent for a few seconds. “So you only had one job. You were soldiers.”
“Yes.” Catal inhaled a deep breath. “Our learning began as soon as we could walk. When I was ten, my unit was sent on a special training exercise. Our ship malfunctioned and we crash landed on Earth.”
Selena gave him a blank stare for several seconds and then shook her head. “Firbin suggested that, but I know you’re human.”
“I am not from Earth.”
Catal’s heart raced. He watched Selena’s face for the first signs of revulsion and fear. Her eyes widened and she looked away from him. She brought a shaky hand up to her mouth as if to stop herself from screaming. He braced himself for her rejection.
“How is that possible?” Her voice was a low whisper. “Where are you from?”
“I am from Cygnus.” Catal unclenched his jaw. “It is an ancient culture run by the Kaladin until very recently. A civil war has meant that the Holman are now in charge.”
“Is it far away?” Selena’s voice shook.
Catal shrugged. “I have no knowledge of the distance. That is not my specialty. I am clan Saidir. We are soldiers.”
“How could you have lived?” Selena turned to face him. “People don’t survive plane crashes.”
“The technology of the Kaladin is advanced. Parts of their crafts are engineered to survive interplanetary challenges and landings. Our teachers moved us into the protected area of the launching chamber before we crashed. About one hundred of us walked away alive. We lost many in the accident and more since we’ve been on this planet.”
“How long ago did this happen?”
“Almost thirty-one years ago.”
Selena’s mouth dropped open. “You barely look thirty.”
“We age differently on your planet.” Catal’s gaze didn’t leave her face. “I have seen over forty years and most of it has been spent fighting.”
He waited for her reaction. Her hands clenched in her lap. That lasted a few seconds before she slumped forward on the couch. Finally she sighed and looked up at him.
“How do I know this is the truth?”
Catal sat down beside her. “I am not lying. Just telling you this puts my life at risk.”
“Then why say anything?”
“I need you to understand why I couldn’t be honest with you before.” Catal reached out and stroked her arm. “There are other things about me that you should know.”
“About your life?” Selena’s voice was soft.
“Yes, and why I didn’t recognize or trust you when we first met.”
“Explain.” She leaned back on the couch.
“Our genetic modifications meant that we had a narrower focus than an ordinary man. We are committed to our makers, the Kaladin. We’ve been programed to work together in a smooth and efficient manner, but there are side effects.”
Selena frowned. “Like having a heart attack when you’re young because of overuse of steroids?”
Catal shook his head. “We usually don’t live that long. We are warriors bred and trained to succeed at any cost. Death is the reward we expect.”
“So you only see one purpose in life, and that is to fi
ght and die.” Selena raised her eyebrows. “What about your parents? Didn’t they have a say in what you did?”
“We have no parents. We are created in birthing chambers.” Catal lowered his voice. “We are not like other men. Our makers used the implants to ensure that we would never find a mate.”
Selena shook her head. “That’s not possible. You and I both know that.”
“That’s because my implants stopped working.”
“What agency would be involved in anything so cruel?” Selena’s voice was doubtful. “Why would it be necessary?”
“The genetic modifications that were done to Hunters meant that we formed intense commitments and connections. It made us fantastically loyal warriors. We also formed powerful bonds with each other and our mates.”
Catal glanced away. Since crashing on this planet, he had believed his life would be complete if only he could return to Cygnus. Instead, the only right thing in his existence was this woman beside him. Selena made him whole.
“You mentioned pair bonds before.” Selena reached for his hand. “Explain what this means.”
“A Hunter bonds only once.” Catal clasped her hand in his. “He forms a pair bond. If she desires, she will become his mate.”
“By mate, I assume you mean lover.” Selena’s voice was hesitant.
“Yes.” Catal went down on his haunches beside her. “The linking with our mate is so strong that it means we will forgo everything else to protect her. It makes us poor soldiers. So the implants were in place to stop us from bonding.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you couldn’t commit because of implants?” Selena’s eyes narrowed. “That’s the most outrageous explanation for desertion I’ve ever heard.”
“My implants probably stopped working after I crashed on your planet.” Catal held her gaze. “Until I met you, I had never formed a pair bond.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“I should have been honest with you when we first mated, but I didn’t trust humans. I believed you were the enemy.”
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