by Piper Rayne
“Sorry, it’s not Miss Schmidt.” I walk by him, the smell of his cologne filling my senses, and I lose my footing for a second, but get back on track.
“What?”
I ignore him and continue down to Drew’s office. Sue smiles when she sees me approach. “He’s ready,” she says, holding her hand to the door.
“Thank you, Sue.” I smile and grip the doorknob.
“Are you joining them, Mr. Banks?” she asks and I glance over my shoulder, finding him in the hallway, his narrowed eyes on me.
He shakes his head. “No.”
I open the door, no longer able to look at him. It only brings me pain and I’m so tired of being in pain.
Drew sees me enter and smiles before he rounds the corner, wrapping his arms around my waist and swinging me in a circle. “Congratulations!” he says so loudly I wish he’d quiet down.
A second later, there’s a knock on the door, and Jasper comes barging in, finding me in Drew’s arms.
He huffs. “I see you move fast,” he sneers and slams the door.
Drew sets me back down. “What is he talking about?” His forehead creases and he scratches the side of his head.
“I’m not taking the deal, Drew.” I stomp out of Drew’s office, down the hall and into Jasper’s.
I slam the door behind me and he’s there waiting for me, leaning back in his office chair, his intent gaze on me. He knew I’d follow and fuck if I didn’t take the bait.
“What is your problem?” I ask, my hands on my hips.
“I just find it convenient that we break up and now you’re in Drew’s arms. You can sure shift gears fast.”
My blood boils. I love this man, but I’m done being a punching bag. “Fuck you, Jasper.”
He stands up, his hands pressed on the desk in front of him. “Been there. Done that. First you fucked me, then you fucked me over.” The anger and hurt in his voice shakes every bone in my body.
“How many times can I say I’m sorry? I wasn’t expecting to meet you and feel something for you.”
“But you went on a date with me to try to get me to invest in your company?” he asks, leaning on the edge of his desk, and damn if I don’t notice how impeccable he looks in his suit.
“Yes, but when I accepted I decided at that point that I wouldn’t approach you on the business part of it.”
“You could’ve been truthful with me from the start.”
My shoulders fall. “I can’t excuse my behavior. I said I was sorry, but I don’t have a time machine to go back and change what happened.”
“When do you think you’ll grow up?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.
I hold my hands up. “Forget it. I’m out. Enjoy Miss Schmidt.”
I walk toward the door and his fist pounds on his desk. “Goddamn it, Lennon.”
“What?” I turn around. My eyes lock with his angry ones. “There’s nothing else I can say or do.”
He blows out a breath and steps forward. “Stop running.”
I fall to my knees and place my hands in prayer. “Is this what you want, Jasper? Please forgive me. I was wrong, I promise to never do it again.”
He grabs me and pulls me up from under my arms. “Don’t make a joke out of this.”
“I’m not.” Tears falls down my cheeks once more. God, when will they stop? “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m sorry, I don’t wish I could go back to that first night and tell you exactly how I ended up there, because what if you would’ve walked away from me? I can’t say I truly feel that way because what we have…” My head falls. “Had.” I take a deep breath at hearing us referred to in past tense. “As much as it hurts, I love the time we spent together and I would never want to change anything and risk that it wouldn’t have happened.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I fell so madly in love with you and Brady… I can’t regret anything that made that time happen.” He looks away and I take that as my cue to leave. “I am sorry that I hurt you. You just snuck into my heart and I was too afraid of losing you both.”
I grip the doorknob. “Take the deal, Lennon,” he whispers.
I shake my head, turning around, tears blurring my vision. “It’s just not important anymore.”
I open the door, passing Drew and Sue, who look like they’ve been out here listening to our argument.
Drew catches up to me at the elevator. “You have to take this deal, Lennon. We’re both going to make a lot of money.”
I press the elevator button and give him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Drew. I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
I step into the elevator and leave behind all the hopes I’d had for my future behind the steel doors.
41
I’m in my curtained-off room in the back of my tattoo parlor eating a quesadilla when Michelle peeks her head in. I startle and a drop of salsa lands on my ‘I Hope You Step On A Lego’ shirt.
“Shit,” I say, using a napkin to wipe it off. I really like this shirt. I saw it a while back but until I actually stepped on one of Brady’s Legos, I didn’t really get it. After experiencing the kind of catastrophic pain at the hands of a child’s small plastic toy I went and brought it the next day.
“Lennon,” Michelle says. “Your appointment is early.”
I put my food down in the takeout container and shove it on the counter then begin to wash my hands. “Send him in.”
“Okay.”
She disappears and someone walks in behind me. I take the paper towels, drying my hands.
“Hi, I’m Lennon.” I turn around to find him on the table.
You know which him I mean.
Jasper Banks.
“I have an appointment,” I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Me.”
“You?”
That playful smile crosses his lips. “Yes, me. See, I figured I could come here and grovel. I could fall on my knees and beg you to take me back. I could apologize for storming out or for not running after you at Brady’s doctor’s office.”
I swallow past the dryness in my throat and try to act like the words he’s saying aren’t exactly what I’ve wanted to hear since we broke up.
“Most of all I could tell you how deeply your words reached me. How you not taking the deal showed me how much you loved me. And how ashamed I am that I would need that reassurance to know you love me because when I’m with you… I feel it. I fell in love with you long before you ever chose to admit you loved me, but I found comfort in knowing that you loved me, too. When I thought it was all a sham… I was hurt and pissed off at myself that I put Brady in the position to lose someone again.”
“And now? You said you could never trust me again.”
He hops off the table, stepping into my personal space, and places his hand on my cheek. Instinctively, I lean into his strength, somehow still needing it.
“I’m giving myself to you.”
“Oh, sweetie, but you already did that.” Sarcasm drips off my words.
His hands drop and he backs away from me. A devilish gleam in his eye, he lies down on my table. “I’m yours.”
“You came to apologize and beg me to take you back by letting me have sex with you?” I ask.
He rolls to his side, propping his head up with his hand. He could be on a commercial. “No, my body.” He shakes his head. “You tattoo me, whatever you want.”
I stare at him for a moment. “Anything?”
“Anything.” He doesn’t flinch.
“Maybe I’ll put a unicorn cock on you,” I say, sitting on my chair.
He crooks his finger to me. “I’m not even sure what that is, nor am I sure I want to know.” He chuckles. “Come here,” he says and I roll over to him. “I trust you. This is me showing you that I trust you. That I’m ready to put it behind us and move forward.”
“You’re giving me all of the control?” I ask, still unsure exactly what his point is.
He nods. “Some would say I’m crazy, but I like to think I’m
crazy for you.” He chuckles.
“Okay.” I hold my hand up in the air. “Where is Jasper Banks?”
“I’m right here.” He laughs like I’m talking gibberish.
“Me tattooing a unicorn cock on you isn’t going to put a Band-Aid on the problem.”
He sits up and pats the seat next to him.
“Jasper,” I sigh.
“Come here.”
I climb on the table, my legs swinging back and forth. “I need to tell you the whole story,” I say, my voice small.
He slides closer, his hand landing on my knee. “Why don’t you tell me while you ink me?”
“I can’t tattoo you, Jasper,” I say.
“Yes, you can.” I look over and his hand tightens on my thigh. “Come on.”
I look into his eyes. He’s serious. If he thinks this will put it all behind us, I’m game. “Give me a few to draw it up.”
“I’ll just lie here.” He lies down on my bed once I hop off and roll my chair over to the table. “And admire you.”
I glance over my shoulder and that grin on his lips makes my stomach flip. He truly is the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.
“How’s Brady?” I ask, searching on my phone for exactly what I want the tattoo to resemble.
“He misses you. He hasn’t said much to me after the doctor’s office. I messed that up pretty big.”
My gut wrenches thinking about Brady, an innocent victim in all this.
“He’ll be happy to have you back,” he says, full of confidence.
“Jasper,” I sigh because he hasn’t heard the entirety of what I did. How premeditated my actions were. There’s a possibility he won’t be able to move on and I don’t want to get my hopes up.
“You almost done? I’m eager to put this behind us.”
“You’re relentless,” I say, standing up to take my picture to the front to get the stencil made.
“That’s why you fell in love with me.” He winks and my face heats.
“I’ll be right back.” I walk past Sebastian, my next-door neighbor, who’s piercing a girl’s tongue. Weaving by the open tables in the front, I slide by Michelle to make the stencil at the thermal fax machine.
It scans and I look out the window while I’m waiting. Can we really move on?
“He’s hot.” Michelle taps her pen to her lips.
I stare blankly, not about to give her the gossip she’s looking for. I’ve kept Jasper away from this place except for the time I brought him here one night after coffee. Michelle wasn’t here then and there’s a reason for that. She tends to flirt with anyone with a twig and berries between their legs.
“He yours?” she asks, the pen cap hitting her teeth.
“Nope.”
“Hmm,” she mumbles. “He didn’t seem interested when I tried to flirt with him earlier.”
“So you figured he was with me?” I ask.
She smiles. “That and the fact he had this look in his eyes when he asked for you.”
“What look?” I roll my eyes, wishing this antiquated piece of equipment would hurry.
“I don’t know how to explain it. He actually looked me in the eyes.” She purses her lips, her head dipping to the cleavage busting out of her shirt, seeming confused why it didn’t work on Jasper.
The machine finally finishes and I pat her on the shoulder. “Don’t think too hard, otherwise you’ll lose those brain cells.”
She says nothing, still trying to figure out why her secret weapon didn’t work for her.
I walk back through the curtain to find Jasper is now shirtless, lying on his back with his phone in his hands raised above his head.
Seriously, this man is temptation with a capital T.
“Making yourself comfortable?” I ask.
He peers at me through the opening of his arms, placing the phone down by his side. “I assumed you’d tattoo my chest or back.”
“You assumed wrong, making you an ass. So drop the pants and bend over.” I busy myself grabbing all the supplies.
“What?”
“I doubt you want a big old rooster with a unicorn horn on its head on your pec. I’m throwing you a bone by putting it on your ass.”
I keep my voice even, which is hard with the expression on his face. I turn back around to ready my supplies and a thud hits the floor. I peer over my shoulder to find his jeans in a pile at his feet and one side of his boxers exposing an ass cheek.
“Can you do my right? Because you know I’m going to want to spoon you tonight.” He winks and if I wasn’t so speechless at the sight of his perfect ass, I’d have a comeback.
“Pull them up, hop on the table again and give me the inside of your bicep.”
I wash my hands and put my gloves on while he does as I direct. Sitting down, I roll over to the table he’s on and wash the surface. “You’re sure?” I ask and he nods, not a worry line etched on his face.
The stencil goes on perfectly and as I stare down at it, I find the excitement I had when I first started. Back before tramp stamps and tribal arm bands were all the rage. When customers allowed the artist to draw and use their talents. Those customers are rarer than you think.
I prep my gun and buzz it for a second. “Ready?” I ask.
“Go for it,” he says.
I hold the needle over the skin and he waits patiently for me to start. He’s always been patient with me.
“I knew you before I knew you,” I tell him as I press the needle into his skin.
“Glad to know I’m notorious.” He laughs, but I look at him and he stops.
“Jacob told me about you, but refused to set up a meeting between us. He was embarrassed that my business was sex toys and thought you were too straight an arrow to ever be interested in something like that. Little did he know what you can do with a string of anal beads.”
I smile at him, remembering the first night he used them on me. He meets my smile and raises it a few notches.
“Anyway, I was at his office, desperate because my grandma’s inheritance was dwindling and this company was going to be dead in the water. He refused again and then you happened to text him. He was too busy to notice and I saw the time and place you’d be at that bar.”
“And you made sure to meet me there.”
I nod. “But I didn’t know it was you. All my Google searches gave me nothing. Not one picture or any personal info about your life.”
He blows out a breath of air and I don’t know if it’s because of the needle or something else. “I pay someone to check the internet and remove any personal information about me. You were desperate to get in contact with me, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So are a lot of other desperate people whose dreams are failing. I can’t take on everyone and there are people out there who are disgruntled. The last thing I want them to find out is where I live, or that Brady even exists. Nor do I want his mother deciding to suddenly pop into his life unannounced.”
“That’s why you have no pictures of him in your office.” I swear someone just turned the light switch on in my brain.
“Yeah. No one needs to know anything about my life.”
I nod, thinking all that makes him a wonderful father.
“The Starbucks thing was a coincidence. I had no idea who you were then. Not that you showed me a ton of interest.” I raise my eyebrows, wiping the ink off his skin.
He laughs. “Believe me, I noticed you and I wanted nothing more than to fuck your brains out that night. But Brady had just left for camp and I’d promised myself that I needed more than just fuck-and-chucks. That I needed to look for something more serious. Hence, the speed dating. You know how I spent that night and who I was thinking about.” He makes a hand job gesture with his hand.
I shake my head, a rush of heat to my cheeks and between my thighs. “Thanks for the reminder.”
He winks and my stomach flips.
“I felt something both times we met and after the speed-dating night I didn’t
want you to think I was with you only for the business. I still think if I had come clean that first night you would’ve stopped what was happening with us.”
He nods and I go back to tattooing him. “Probably.”
“The longer we were together, the more I couldn’t jeopardize losing you. I was scared of losing both you and Brady.” I finish the tattoo and sit back so he can see me. “Whit calling me about the vibrator wasn’t planned. I was never going to bring the business up to you after we’d slept together. I swear.” I hold up my Girl Scout honor sign and he moves to come over. “Not yet.” I wipe it down one more time. “Go look in the mirror.”
He stands up and I rise from my stool, waiting to see what he thinks. This is always the most nerve-racking time for a tattoo artist, when you’re waiting to see if your client loves it.
He stares at it for a long time and then finds me in the mirror. “What does it mean?”
“It’s the Celtic tree of life. Trees signify strength and longevity. The leaves represent rebirth and the roots and branches are strong and resilient. It’s how I see you.” A tear slips down my cheek and Jasper turns, his hand the perfect fit for my cheek.
The next tear can’t fall because he catches it with his thumb. “I love you, Lennon Hart,” he says.
I look up into those eyes that have nothing but more love for me. “I love you. And Brady.”
“Can you do me a favor?” he asks and I nod. “Can you add a colored leaf to the tree? One for each member in my family?”
I smile. “That’s a great idea. Sit back down.”
He lies down in the same position again and I grab the bright green ink container from my shelf. It only takes me a couple of minutes to add the two leaves. One big one for Jasper and another smaller green leaf to represent Brady. I wipe away the blood and excess ink and sit back to admire my work.
“It looks perfect now,” I say.
“No, it doesn’t,” Jasper says, shaking his head.
“Is there something you don’t like about it?” I ask as I examine it again to see if I missed something.
“You forgot to add another green leaf.”
