by Claire Angel
I looked over at Sara to see what she was thinking about the idea. She got up from her position and looked unsure as she looked back at me. “I’m sorry, Piper, I really have to go, but I will be back soon, I promise.”
“Daddy, please make her stay. When you have left for work, I can go with her to her house and pick up the stuff she forgot. Maybe we can stop for ice cream on the way back home.” Piper was jumping up and down at her smart idea and the prospects of getting ice cream.
I smiled at Piper, bent down to her level, and looked up at Sara with puppy eyes and pleaded with Piper softly, and said, “Please can you stay?”
Piper laughed and giggled at the playful acting and Sara soon started smiling as well and agreed to stay. The three of us walked towards the kitchen, where Gertrude had already started frying some bacon. When she saw Sara enter with us, she immediately asked her, “How do you like your eggs? Soft, medium, hard, sunny side up, or scrambled? I don’t do boiled, the eggs here are not the same as back home.” Sara was a bit caught off guard, but she soon found her composure and answered that she liked sunny side up and soft. Piper told Gertrude that she wanted the same as Sara.
Gertrude looked at me. “The same as every morning, no surprises from my side.” She turned back to the stove, and I could hear her mumbling something about “every day is a surprise” but I couldn’t hear the rest.
I walked over to the bread and toaster, and asked Sara, “Brown or white?”
She responded with, “Brown, please.”
With her small voice, Piper added, “For me, too, Daddy, please.”
After I placed four brown bread slices in the toaster, I turned to the fridge. “Juice, coffee, tea, or something else?” Sara bent over to Piper and asked her what she wanted, as Sara would have the same.
Piper giggled and shouted, “Juice, please, Daddy. Oh and for Sara, too.”
It was great to see Piper so happy. It almost felt like this was the norm, and this was how things were meant to be. I looked at Sara, and she was looking at me. We both were smiling. But suddenly doubts crept into my mind. This is dangerous. This isn’t just my heart that’s on the line. Piper could get hurt as well.
I turned to the cupboards for some glasses, and I hoped that Sara didn’t see the concern growing on my face. I took out three glasses, turned to the kitchen table, and placed the glasses on the table. After pouring two full drinks and one half, I put the half in front of Piper and the other full one I handed to Sara. Gertrude dished up the eggs and the bacon, and the toaster popped up, and the smell of fresh bacon and toast filled the air.
Sara smeared butter on Piper’s toast and cut it from corner to corner. “Is this how you cut your toast, too? Because Daddy cuts it in squares.”
Sara looked over at me, just as I was cutting my toast in half. Sara looked back at Piper, and said, “This is how my mother taught me, and I didn’t even know you can cut the toast in any other way. All the restaurants and coffee shops also cut it like this.”
Piper looked intently at the triangle-shaped toast and looked back up to Sara. “I like it.” She smiled broadly and picked up a slice and started eating.
While we sat there eating together, it reminded me of my family, and the few times we had breakfast together while I was growing up. It didn’t happen often, with both Mom and Dad at the same table, but the times together were pleasant and memorable. At this moment, everything felt like home, and I liked it.
I had to be careful – I was walking on thin ice. One wrong step and this could end up in a disaster. I looked down at my plate and noticed there was only one half of my toast left, and I realized I had my fill. The excessive burden of the moment made me lose my appetite. I excused myself, got up, and said, “I have to get going, it’s already past seven.” I walked around to Piper and kissed her on her cheek, just as she was placing a piece of toast, dribbled in the egg yolk, into her mouth.
I smiled at Sara and said goodbye, turned around, and left the kitchen. As I was going, I could hear Piper talking with her mouth still full of toast, and Sara told her she had to swallow it before she could speak. This morning was just like I had dreamed of when I was a boy even through college. This was the picture I wanted to have every morning. How was it possible that something so beautiful could be so close and yet so far out of reach? Something in me told me this could never be.
I pulled my jacket over my shoulders and picked up my briefcase from where I had left it the previous evening when I got home. Sara’s bag was now lying there, and the flowers were next to her bag. I had to smile at the irony, but my conscience quickly brought me back down to earth – this was going to lead to heartache. No matter how I turned this around, someone was going to get hurt.
*
At work, I could barely focus on the meeting I was chairing in my office. I couldn’t excuse myself as this was my office where would I escape to. One could only hide in the bathroom for so long before raising alarms and causing suspicion. I had to focus on the discussions, but all I could think of was Sara’s legs around my waist and her soft lips on mine. I had to see her again, not just as Piper’s nanny, but in my arms, in my bed.
I wished one could ask for a type of a guarantee that this would work out, like the guarantee those salespeople were always trying to selling to us. A promise that their product would stand the test of time guaranteed for up to five years. Even a guarantee on this relationship for five years would’ve been enough for me, but life didn’t work like that. Look what had happened the last time I tried to guarantee happiness. It had blown up in my face, and I was left to raise Piper by myself.
If this did work out and if it made Piper happy through it all, it would be worth it. But if it turned south, would I be able to return to just an employer and an employee relationship with Sara? Was this a risk I was willing to take? Would Sara be able to understand the situation? Would she even respect me more for my concerns, or would she think I was just selfish?
“Dryden? Would you like to ask anything?”
With a sudden jerk, I was drawn back to the present, and as I looked over at the big screen, I saw that they had finished their presentation. Their last slide had the word “Questions?” and nothing else on it. It depicted my entire being, mind, and heart in one word. I was struggling with questions.
I took a breath, and just said, “Please leave your presentation with my PA. I will have to go through it again, as I have a few questions and recommendations that I would like to put down in writing. If you don’t mind, I will come back to you in the middle of next week. Thank you for the presentation, but you have to understand I have other meetings to attend to.”
Chapter 10
Sara
After Dryden left to go to work, I was wondering where this was going. It almost felt like we were a real family this morning having breakfast, and Dryden had acted as if it was completely normal. Except for the one time when I had seen his face filled with concern, he didn’t give any indication that he thought this might be a bad idea.
I couldn’t deny the chemistry between us – that would just be hiding from the obvious. But I couldn’t afford to fall in love with my boss, and then he’d turn around again and turn cold towards me. It would be too awkward for me to face him daily after these feelings I had, and he’d keep on turning cold after we had made some progress.
Maybe Dryden was sincere when he had said this morning that he never brought anyone home because he didn’t even know how he’d start to explain it to Piper. Perhaps it was as simple as that. I didn’t think that overthinking it would get me any closer to a solid answer.
Was it possible that I was starting to fall for him? His blue eyes haunted even my waking moments. His smooth, dark hair had felt like silk between my fingers. I closed my eyes and felt his kisses over my body – my hand touched my collarbone where one of his kisses had landed.
Piper’s little voice brought me back to reality. “Are you okay? Is your neck sore? Daddy has sweeties we can suck if your throat hurts.”<
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I opened my eyes quickly and looked at her. I pulled my hand away from my neck and told her, “Thank you, sweetie, but no, my throat isn’t sore. It is just my neck muscles that are a bit stiff.” With that word, I felt his stiff penis against me. I had to stop fantasizing about Piper’s father – it could only end in trouble.
I wondered what the story was about Piper’s mother. No one even mentioned her, never mind her name. Nobody said anything, nothing, not even a cover name – it was like she didn’t exist. It had to be exceptionally bad for a mother to leave her daughter behind without putting up a good fight.
Maybe I could ask Piper about her mother, but in a way that wouldn’t make her emotional or give her false hopes about her mother. “Piper, does your mommy come to visit sometimes?”
Piper frowned at me. “My mommy doesn’t live here. She left long ago, and Daddy doesn’t think she liked it here, so he says she won’t come back.”
I listened intently at everything she was saying and explaining and realized that Dryden hadn’t told her much. That was understandable – how much could a four-year-old understand?
Piper then continued, “I think my mommy has gone to another world, like where Beauty and the Beast live, because Daddy once told one of his friends that he doesn’t believe in her returning anymore. So I think she went to fairyland because Daddy doesn’t believe in fairies either.”
I thoughtfully nodded my head, and just told her, “That sounds like a good explanation.”
If I wanted to get a full and proper explanation, I would have to ask Dryden directly. I would have to be confident this time because last time, my courage had deserted me on the verge of asking the question. I didn’t think he knew what I had wanted to ask, but it was that moment that had led to the excitement last night.
Piper asked me if we could go and play outside, and I thought that would be a great idea, as Tabitha would probably be out there as well by now. “Do you want to grab some of your garden tools? Because I think Tabitha will be here today.”
Piper’s little face lit up. “Yippee! Do you think she will let me help her plant some flowers?”
“Sure, sweetie, I don’t see why not.”
Piper ran off to get her mini set of gardening tools, and we went downstairs and out to the backyard. I was quite happy when I saw Tabitha not far away busy in a bed, digging in the soil, with three trays of flowers next to her. I could see how this would be a perfect setting, to have Piper busy planting, and I could have a discussion with Tabitha. Piper started running towards Tabitha shouting, “Lady, lady, look! I’ve got my own tools!”
Tabitha looked up from the soil, gave Piper a friendly smile, and said, “Let me see if they are good tools.” After taking each piece out of the little bucket, she scrutinized every tool and gave her approval of most of the utensils except for the weeder. “This one we won’t be using, you can use mine instead. This one is too thick and blunt, and it will only damage the weeds and not pull them out properly.”
Piper was very taken by how important her tools appeared to be to Tabitha, and she asked, “Can I please help you plant the flowers?”
Tabitha looked up at me, and I nodded my head eagerly. “Sure, let me show you where you have to dig little holes.” Tabitha made little crosses in a diagonal pattern on the ground, five positions in total. “Once you have finished digging the holes, I will show you the next step, okay?” Piper nodded, full of concentration, and she turned and started with her vital task.
Tabitha stood up, and I asked her if we could move a few steps away. Tabitha just shrugged and followed me. I knew Tabitha wouldn’t appreciate a long-winded explanation of the events before and during the foreplay, so I just came out with the main event, and blurted, “We had sex last night.”
Tabitha’s eyes grew large, and her mouth dropped open. “Fuck, you go, girl. I knew you had it in you to make him wild.” She hugged me and congratulated me as if I had conquered a high mountain top. “Shit, man, did you spend the night? And don’t lie, because that blouse is not the pristine well-pressed shirt you would usually be wearing.”
It made me blush when I realized I still had the same clothes on as yesterday. Gertrude and everyone else had probably also noticed, and saw that my clothes looked as if they came out of a washing basket.
“This is too fast. I feel a little concerned that we are moving way too fast. What if things don’t work out between us?”
Tabitha noticed my concern and tried to console me. “Nah, don’t worry. Most of the people who would notice would also be the same people that would be ecstatic. Mr. Bossman isn’t the friendliest to his staff when he hasn’t had some action in a long time, and it has been a very long time since his previous night out. By the way, just stuff your modesty and concern about the what-ifs, and go for it. Fuck him and enjoy his attention. He is super hot and rich, so enjoy it. Who cares what happens later, you can figure it out as you go.”
“I wanted to ask you about the ‘other women.’ This morning he said he never brings home ladies that he had spent the night with, because of Piper. So has he ever introduced Piper to anyone as a potential girlfriend or future wife?”
Tabitha looked at me with caution in her eyes. “Now slow down just a little. Things might have happened very fast with the two of you, but no, he hasn’t been serious with anyone since I started working here two years ago.”
“Do you know what happened with Piper’s mother?”
Tabitha just shook her head. “Sorry, no one talks about it. I’ve actually asked the lady in the kitchen, and she just grumbled at me, ‘None of your concern what happens inside the house, you just make the outside pretty.’” Tabitha pulled a sour face as she repeated what Gertrude had told her, with the foreign accent almost mimicked perfectly.
It made me smile, but it also raised my concerns. “I wonder what happened because no one talks about it with me either. It was probably a bad break-up. Piper also doesn’t know many details, but then again she is still too small to grasp the intricacies of grown-up relationships.”
Tabitha turned around suddenly. “Speaking of which, I have to check up on my little helper.” Tabitha walked back over to Piper and sat down next to her and intently judged her work. “Mmm, yes, this is good work.” She turned to face Piper. “So, young lady, how much do you charge per hour?”
Piper giggled and asked what a “charge” was.
“Fine. I will teach you about business as well. No use you having skills and you don’t know how to promote yourself.”
Piper laughed out loud. “I’m not a remote, silly, I’m a garden lady.” The two of them had a long conversation, with Piper asking questions and Tabitha explaining big concepts in short sentences.
As amusing as the conversation was, my mind wandered off to a far off place, or rather to a time when Piper’s mother was still here. All I’d got was that Piper knew that her mother wasn’t dead, but that she had gone away. Everyone got on edge whenever I’d raise the topic for discussion, so it must have been a bad situation. Maybe I shouldn’t pry into the matter just yet. Dryden would tell me when he was ready.
That afternoon when Dryden arrived back from the office, he was friendly and open, and after he hugged Piper, he walked me to my car. At my car, he kissed me and told me he wanted to see me again soon. My heart was racing, and my head was spinning with the unspoken questions, but I just nodded, got in the car, and left. My emotions were in turmoil. Can I trust my feelings and instincts? Does he care about me? Or am I just seeing what I want to see?
*
When I got back home, Granny was sitting at the dinner table – she was already eating. “Hi, Granny, sorry I didn’t call last night. One thing led to another, and there wasn’t time to call.”
Granny stood up and hugged me. “You’re a big girl, and I’m never worried about you. You always come back in one piece.” She smiled at me and then looked at my creased blouse. She stepped back and gave me a good look-over. “If I’m not mistaken, you didn
’t come back in one piece. You left a piece of yourself with a man, and the glow in your cheeks tells me it was a good man.”
“Granny!” I exclaimed. “Do you have to be so forward?”
Granny just smiled at me, and said, “My dear, you are smitten, and the writing is all over your face, but I also see there is something that is of concern. Tell me about it, because I have to tell you something as well.”
“What is it, Granny? Did something happen while I was gone?”
Granny went back to sitting down, and with her eyes looking down at the table, and her shoulders sagging slightly, she sighed, and said, “You can probably say that something, or rather someone, happened. Your sister came around last night. She was in her usual form, drunk as a skunk. She came in and asked about your whereabouts, so I just told her you'd got a steady job, and she must stay away from you.”
Granny looked up at me as I went to sit down next to her, and I took her one hand into mine. “Please don’t lend her money. She took all your savings for your studies last time, and you worked too hard to get it all back.”
I had to swallow because it felt like something got stuck in my throat. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I just shook my head gently. “Don’t worry, Granny, I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t trust her again.”
The memory of Hannah and how she had taken off without even saying goodbye made me feel angry, yet helpless at the same time. I was hoping we would never have to see her again. The gall she had to show up after she had squandered all of my savings to impress a man and then they ran off together, taking whatever money I had left with them.
I felt all my anger and resentment come back in one massive wave of emotions. With everything happening, my heart just broke, and I started crying. I lowered my head down onto my arms on the table, and I began to sob. Granny was rubbing my back and tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. All I could think of was how messed up things were going to become soon, as I was going to have face Hannah and tell her to leave me alone.
