by Ravenna Tate
“I said I trust you. We’re together now. There’s no need for me to use them.”
“Okay, that answers one question. But what if I got pregnant?”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
Holy shit. “Is that so?”
A serious look crossed his face as he sat up. “Would you be upset if you got pregnant?”
“Jagger, I … I never gave it much thought before. I mean I’m not exactly the mother type. And this is coming out of left field.”
“I know it is. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not looking for an apology. I just didn’t realize you were thinking of us along those lines.”
“Well, now you know.”
So many emotions bubbled up that she could hardly process even one of them. “I thought you weren’t a hearts and flowers type of guy?” What the fuck? He looked really uncomfortable at her question, but too bad. He was the one who’d started this conversation.
“I have a lot to offer a child.”
“In terms of possessions and money, yes. But, Jagger, come on. We’re convicted felons.”
“Who have both served their time. We’re not doing that anymore.” He caressed her arm. “I can totally see you as a mother.”
“Let me give it some thought, okay?” She couldn’t wrap her head around this.
“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“I will. Honestly. Right now I’m a bit tired.” She smiled, but it felt forced, and imagined that’s the way it looked, too. “Someone wore me out.”
As he pulled her close, his soft chuckle sounded forced as well. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
Where the hell had that come from? Carolyn lay down again, wrapped in Jagger’s arms, but she knew it would be a while before her mind quieted down enough to sleep. The last thing in the world she’d ever imagined was Jagger wanting to have a child, with her or anyone. Had he felt this way before? She had trouble picturing it, which left one disconcerting thought.
Something about this relationship with her had changed his mind. She had changed his mind. Was it possible he wanted her in the same way she wanted him? Carolyn’s heart raced as she let that roll around in her brain for a while.
But still … a baby? She wasn’t sure. Not because the idea of having one with him was horrible. No. But what did she have to offer a child? She hadn’t exactly had good role models, and neither had he, from what little she knew of his past. This wasn’t something to be rushed into. It was too important. Too permanent.
She needed to think about it for a while first. Maybe for a long while.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning, Jagger let Carolyn sleep. He made coffee and a bagel, taking them to the windows overlooking the street when the sight of flashing lights reflected on the walls caught his attention. Two squad cars at odd angles were parked next to the white van. Jagger sipped his coffee and smiled. Delia had kept her word.
Two men in the front seat, whose faces he couldn’t see, gestured a lot as they talked to the cops. If it turned out Delia was wrong and it was the FBI, the cops would be embarrassed. But if she was right, the van would be gone so he and Carolyn could relax.
As the men climbed out of the van, Jagger narrowed his eyes. There was something uncomfortably familiar about the way one of them walked, but he was too far away to see details. If he went outside to get a better look, he risked being seen.
One of them took out a cell phone, while the other stood by and watched the cops search the van. In less than a minute, the first white van he had seen parked in that same spot arrived to pick up the two men.
What the fuck? He knew it was the original van he’d spotted because one of the back windows was painted over, just as it had been the first time he’d noticed it. Jagger couldn’t hear what any of them were saying, but for a moment it looked as though the cops weren’t going to let the men go.
When a city tow truck arrived, the men were allowed to get into the first white van, but Jagger chuckled softly as the cop handed one of them a ticket. Once the van was towed away, Jagger went back into the kitchen. The only thing better would have been to see the men ushered into the backs of squad cars, but at least part of the mystery was solved. Whoever they were, they were not FBI.
Too bad Carolyn hadn’t been here to see this. Jagger hoped she wouldn’t be upset with him when he told her about it. Thinking about her reaction to watching the van get towed brought back their conversation last night, before he’d fallen asleep. He had no clue what had come over him, but he knew this morning he had meant what he’d said.
The only thing he wished was that she’d been a bit more enthusiastic about it. But that wasn’t being fair. She’d been right, after all. He had told her he wasn’t a hearts and flowers guy, and that this wasn’t a vacation. Just because he’d changed his mind didn’t mean she knew that.
She can’t read minds, bucko!
In his defense, there had been no blood in his brain the night before, but that was still no excuse for being an ass. He’d never told her how he felt about her. He also owed her an explanation about his upbringing. Maybe once she heard it, she’d understand his need to make things right in a child of his own.
Noise upstairs drew his attention, so went into the kitchen to pour more coffee. When she came downstairs, she was wearing one of his shirts, and his dick grew hard in seconds. Lord in heaven. He smiled. “How are you this morning?”
“I won’t sit down for a week, but I don’t care.”
“Let me see.”
When she lifted the edge of the shirt, he whistled. “Wow. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yes.” She eyed the coffeemaker. “I need some of that. A lot of that. Are you hungry? I feel like making pancakes.”
“With bacon?”
“I cannot believe a man of your age can eat as much bacon as you do and not be dead. I swear.”
“Excuse me?” Jagger placed his coffee cup on the counter and gave her ass a swat. She winced visibly. “Did you just call me old?”
“Well, you’re older than me. And you do eat a lot of bacon.”
“Carolyn, I swear to all that’s holy if your ass wasn’t so bruised, I’d paddle you all over again.”
Before she averted her gaze, he caught the glimpse of desire in her big green eyes. This woman had captivated his very soul. No doubt about it.
“Pancakes and bacon, coming up.”
“That’s more like it.” He watched her take ingredients out of the refrigerator. “You missed some excitement this morning.”
“Oh?”
“The van got towed.”
The egg she was holding slipped out of her hands and landed on the floor. “It did?”
“Yep.” Jagger grabbed a paper towel to wipe up the egg. “Two men got out, but they weren’t arrested. I was hoping they would be. Remember the first white van?”
“Yes…”
“It came and picked them up.”
A shadow of fear crossed her face. “Did you get a look at any of them?”
“No. Too far away.” Jagger cracked the eggs into a bowl for her while she got more ingredients for the pancakes. “But one of them … his walk reminded me of someone. Couldn’t be, though.”
“Reminded you of whose walk?”
“Nate Hoffmayer. Did you ever meet him?’
“Yes. Once.”
The way she said it made the hair on the back of Jagger’s neck prickle.
“I was only thirteen, and he looked at me like he wanted to gobble me up. Gave me the creeps.”
“He had a limp. Do you remember it?”
“No.” She shook her head.
“Well, lots of people do, I suppose. Nate is in Madrid.”
“Is that where he called you from?”
“Not sure, but it was out of the country. I know that much.”
They worked in silence, and Jagger didn’t have to ask. She was thinking the same thing he was, but it was so far-fetched he couldn’t wrap hi
s head around it. If the men sitting in those vans the past two weeks were Nate and his former associates, why hadn’t they come to the door?
Nate had his number, which meant he likely knew where Jagger lived. If they were watching them, they also knew Carolyn was here. Tony might even be in touch with them. It made no sense. They wouldn’t simply sit out there, watching. They weren’t that kind of men.
“It can’t be them,” she said.
“Why not?”
“The police would have seen their tats.”
“Maybe.” The officers down there earlier weren’t from the Bureau of Detectives. He hated to disappoint her, but it’s possible the information about the tats hadn’t been given to any other department.
“Did you see anyone who might have been Uncle Tony?”
“No.” When she dropped a spoonful of batter on the floor, Jagger pulled her close and held her. “It’s not them. You’re right. They wouldn’t just sit there. And your uncle wouldn’t risk that, would he?”
“I’d feel better knowing for sure.”
“What can we do besides ask him?”
The look she gave him as she pulled out of the embrace was filled with terror. “I can’t do that. He’s already suspicious.”
“I know you can’t. It wasn’t meant to be taken literally. There’s nothing we can do, Carolyn. I suggest we get on with our lives.”
The fear was still in her eyes, and he hated that. He only wanted to take it from her, and enjoy his time with her. “Tell you what. Let’s finish breakfast, and then I’ll tell you a story about my childhood.”
“A good one?”
“Carolyn, nothing about my childhood is good. I want to tell you this so you’ll understand where I’m coming from at times.”
“All right.”
After breakfast, they sat side by side on the sofa. Jagger put on soft music so the silence wouldn’t be quite as deafening. “Did Tony tell you anything about my past?”
“Not much. He said he’d known you a long time.”
“We met in prison. It was the tenth job I’d pulled, and his twelfth. Charming, eh?”
“He’s not a saint. I know that.”
“Neither am I.”
“I know that, too, Jagger.”
“Anyway, that’s where we met. We started talking, and realized we’d both grown up in the Chicago area. After we got out, we kept in touch. We pulled a few small jobs together. One day I read an article about the Russian Crown Jewels touring the USA, and I knew I had to have them.”
“What happened to them? The ones you, Uncle Tony, and the others took?”
Jagger grinned. “They were never found.”
“Yeah, I know that. Where are they?”
“Here, there, everywhere.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
“Let’s just say some were sold, the money laundered, and the proceeds split.”
“Okay.” She shook her head.
“So, going back to before I met Tony, I learned to steal from my parents, the same as you did. Only mine weren’t the vacationing kind. They were the get drunk every weekend and blow any money they’d made during the week kind.”
“Which explains all this,” she said, moving her hand in a slow sweep.
“Partly. But I like to think wanting to live in comfortable surroundings isn’t so much a product of my upbringing as it is pure selfishness.”
“You’re not selfish with me.”
“That’s because I like you.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. “But I’m not a generous person otherwise.”
The sideways glance she gave him told him he’d just stepped in it. “So, why do you want to have kids?”
“Because my parents were horrible, Carolyn.” He’d been wondering which of them would bring up the subject of her becoming pregnant one day. “They were drunk all the time, they were lousy thieves, and every time one of them was sent to jail, my sisters and I were on our own. If DCFS would have known about it, we’d have all been in foster care before middle school.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Okay? Seriously. Don’t pity me. I survived. No broken bones, never got my ass beat, and no one died. My sisters are all older. We took care of each other just fine.”
“Are your parents still alive?”
“Yes. Both are in Wisconsin. My father is currently at the Wisconsin Secure Facility Program, once affectionately called the Supermax Correctional Institution, and my mother is in Taycheedah.”
“What are they in for?”
“Armed robbery. They each got forty years because of multiple repeat offenses.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. I think Illinois was happy to be rid of them, to be honest. They crossed the state line to commit the crime, so Wisconsin was stuck with them.”
“When was the last time you spoke with them?”
“June of 1992. The second I graduated from high school, I was out of there. I never looked back.”
“What about your sisters?”
“Last I heard, one was hooked on cocaine, the middle one was living with some guy who has no job, but she was actually working a straight one. The youngest is in Japan, of all places. No clue what she’s doing there. Once a year or so I get a postcard, and all it says is, ‘Hope things are well. I’m fine and enjoying life.’ No phone number, no email address, nothing.”
“Jagger, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Sometimes people don’t want to be found.”
“My family and I keep in touch. Well, most of them, at any rate.”
“I wanted you to understand a bit more about me, because I believe I can give a child everything I never had. Not only material comforts, but stability. Love. A safe environment.”
The gaze she gave him now was soft and tender. “I believe you can, too, but Jagger, what happens when a child asks about your past? They do, you know. They’ll want to know about their grandparents and other family members. What on earth would you tell them?”
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Well I have. I knew at a young age what my family was all about. I’m not sure I’d want a child of mine to know all that.”
“You can’t lie to them.”
“No, but they also don’t have to know every graphic detail.”
The fact that she was willing to discuss this was enough for Jagger right now. He pulled her close. “It’s nothing we have to decide today.”
“It’s nothing we have to decide for a long time.”
A long time was still too long for him to wait, but he’d pushed as much as he was comfortable doing for now. Carolyn would be with him for the rest of his life, and they would have children, if Jagger had anything to say about it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ever since Jagger had taken her to see his plane, Carolyn had been thinking about him encouraging her to find a job on her own. While browsing online one morning, a few days after the white van was towed, she discovered that a job fair was being held at the Destination Hotels and Resorts. They could walk there.
After breakfast, she showed the ad to Jagger, and he helped her choose an outfit suitable for on the spot interviews at places like Goodwill or Target. Jagger had done some research for her, and he’d come up with a list of places in the Chicago area that hired felons. Those were the two largest companies that did. She didn’t want to be too dressed up, but she also wanted them to know she was serious about this.
They walked along, hand in hand, and Carolyn realized she felt happier than she had in a long time. This was a far cry from that first evening when he’d found her in the park. But she wouldn’t think about that right now. She had to stay positive and focused. Even if she could only find part time work, she’d take it. Anything to make her feel as if she had something to contribute and could at least partially pay her own way.
With the exception of when she was being interviewed, Jagger stayed
with her the entire time. He watched her interviews from a discreet distance, and afterward discussed them with her. There were dozens of companies there, but only Goodwill and Target were willing to consider her. She was fine with that.
The interviews were very informal, and were more of a screening opportunity than anything, but Carolyn felt good about both of them. She and Jagger left after a few hours, and stopped at Sprinkles Cupcakes for a treat.
Afterward, they decided to walk a bit out of their way so they could stop at Washington Square Park. Carolyn wanted to toss a few pennies into the fountain and make a wish that she’d get a call from either company.
“Where would you rather work?” asked Jagger.
“Honestly? I like the fact that Goodwill hires people who need a second chance. I mean they’re known for that. I would feel as if I’d really be giving something back to the community, if that makes sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.” Jagger pulled her close and held her. “You’re a far better person than I am, Carolyn. I have no desire to find a real job.”
“Does it bother you that I want one?”
“Not at all.” Jagger glanced across the street. “Let’s stop at the bookstore before we head back.”
“What are you looking for?”
As they crossed Delaware Place, heading south, Jagger took out his phone and began scrolling. “It’s a new book on those missing crown jewels. Hang on. I’ll show you.”
The sound of screeching tires snapped Carolyn’s attention toward the east. A white van sped toward them, and in sickening slow motion she realized it was either going to run them down, or intended to stop right next to them.
“Jagger…”
When he glanced up, his eyes filled with alarm. “Holy fuck….” He began punching buttons on his phone, and she prayed he was calling 911.
“Is that one of the white vans that was parked down the street?”
It was too close now. She took several steps back from the curb as the van approached, realizing that Jagger had not moved with her. Her heart hammered, and she felt frozen to the pavement. Who the fuck was he talking to? She swore she heard him addressing Tim, but that was crazy.
