“Oh, okay, well, good. I’m glad you can ignore me so well,” she said, rolling her eyes at him and then huffing.
He smirked slightly and put a hand on her arm to stop her walking. “So what brings you here after three months anyway?” She bit some of her nail off and chewed on it thoughtfully as she tried to think of something to say. Should she just blurt it out, or should she really gear up for the biggest shock of his life? What should she do?
“Well, okay…why did you leave that night?” she blurted out and winced since that was definitely not what she wanted to ask him.
He blinked, confused at the question and then looked down. “I liked you and…well…alright I’ll be honest here. You know what Sinder is used for, right?” he asked.
She nodded, wondering why he suddenly looked so nervous. “Sinder is used for people like me…to find…people who like people like me.” He said it uncomfortably.
She frowned, not fully understanding what he was saying. “What do you mean?” she asked, when he didn’t feel like he needed to elaborate.
“I’m the…I’m the Alpha of my pack,” he said after a long moment of silence.
She blinked rapidly, not knowing how to take that in. She knew very little about packs, shapeshifters, and all that, but this was the first time she had met one personally. And now he was the father of her child.
“Okay…” she said hoping he would go on but all he did was stare at her.
He cleared his throat loudly and looked away from her. “Alright, well…it’s a little complicated. Well it’s not really that complicated.”
“Charles, please just tell me whatever it is you need to tell me,” she said, frowning at his stuttering. She didn’t know him that well, but she knew him well enough to know that this wasn’t like him at all. He was not a stuttering person, he seemed to be pretty sure of himself and now it seemed like he had fallen out of his element.
“I’m a shapeshifter and the Alpha of my pack,” he said again.
She nodded slowly, “I got that part.”
“That means, that a year after taking the Alpha status, which I did from my father, I needed to find a mate and…procreate.” He was shifting his feet uncomfortably.
She felt her heart stop and wondered for a brief moment if he had impregnated her on purpose. But the more logical part of her brain told her that if he had done that, he wouldn’t have ignored her.
“So what does that mean?” she asked, again her brain working too slowly to fully catch up to what he was saying.
“It means I got on Sinder to find someone to be my mate and to have pups with.” He sighed heavily and was running a hand through his hair.
“And now what? What changed?” she asked carefully.
He shrugged, “Nothing specific. I mean I’m a few months away from my birthday and the guy who greeted you, Bradley, well he wants to take over as the next Alpha. Obviously, I can’t have that happen. So I went on Sinder and I began to look for possible mates. The thing is, after we slept together, I couldn’t put you through that. I don’t want to make someone be with me because of this rule. I’m just going to have to find another way,” he said quietly.
She was quiet for a few minutes as she took in what he was saying. “So Bradley is going to challenge you on your birthday for the Alpha role?” she asked to clarify.
“Yes.”
“But what happens if you have a mate and a child?” she asked carefully.
He laughed and shook his head. “Neither of those things will happen. I want to love someone, not force them into something they don’t want.”
“Who said anything about forcing?” she asked, giving him a significant look.
He frowned, wondering what she was talking about. “What are you talking about? I got off that website.” He was confused.
“It’s an App, actually and I was talking about me.” “What about you?” he asked, still confused about what she was talking about.
She sighed and hoped that what she was about to say would be good news instead of bad news. “I found out a few weeks ago that I’m…pregnant.” She was wincing at the word and hoping he didn’t notice her reaction. She looked up at him sheepishly and watched as he slowly blinked at her. “I tried to get in contact with you and when you didn’t say anything back, I decided to come here. I know it’s all weird and you probably need some time to adjust so I just wanted to let you know,” she told him, biting on the bottom of her lip again.
He opened his mouth to respond and then closed it.
“Anyway, so what does that mean for the Alpha status thing? And Bradley?” she asked curiously.
He shook his head slowly, still in shock by what she was telling him. He opened his mouth again to respond and when nothing came out she began to talk.
“I know it’s a shock and I know that you left me that night because you thought you were forcing me into something, but I don’t want this child to not have a father. I know we come from two different worlds but I don’t see how this couldn’t work. I want to be a mother, and having a kid seems to help you out, so maybe we can work something out. I really did like you and if you’d like to, I’m willing to give us another chance.”
She hoped that she didn’t sound too desperate. She had just poured out her soul to this stranger she had only met once, but now they were having a kid and she knew she would need to get to know him a lot more if this was going to work.
She watched him try to say something else to her and she smiled and waited this time to hear his response.
“This is such a shock,” he said finally.
“I know.” She hoped that he wasn’t too upset about it.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, how about you think about it for some time and then we can talk when you aren’t so shocked, “ she suggested, hoping maybe having some time to adjust would help the situation.
She had more than enough time to adjust and think about it and she knew that he would need time to think about it, as well. She knew he wouldn’t want to jump in and be a father, but she hoped maybe he’d be a little more responsive, especially because he had just told her he had planned for this to happen.
“I’m happy about this,” he said suddenly, making her jump a little at how loud he had stated his emotional state.
“Good.” She gave him a tight smile.
“It’s just a lot to take in.”
“Yeah, I know. I had some time to adjust and everything, so don’t feel pressured to tell me everything you want to do now.” She wanted him to take the time to adjust to the life-altering news.
She didn’t want to pressure him into anything or make him feel forced into a relationship with her or the child. She was just doing her part by telling him the news about the little life growing between them.
“How about you take some time to adjust and then you call me when you want to go over all the details? And if you want to open up about all the shape shifting business.” He didn’t seem to be able to say anything else except look between her face and her stomach.
“I think that’s probably a good idea. The whole thing is really…bizarre.”
She smiled politely back at him and nodded. “Having a baby with a stranger will do that,” she said, making him laugh.
He nodded and then slowly walked her back to her car.
She made the long ride back home feeling lighter than she had since she’d found out about her pregnancy.
Chapter Five
Julia didn’t hear from Charles for almost two weeks, but she couldn’t really say that she blamed him. It was a lot to take in, especially if you were having a child with a complete stranger. Julia would’ve preferred if he had called her and they had gotten a chance to talk and really get to know one another, but beggars can’t be choosers. She would at least give him some time to adjust to what was going on before she got snippy about the fact that he hadn’t even called her despite the situation.
She had come to think of the
baby of being on sort of a time frame. She was pregnant and they only had five and a half months to get to know one another and prepare. She would’ve liked if they had talked about the next steps together, but nothing with Charles seemed to be going the way she wanted.
She would try to talk to him if he hasn’t contacted her in a week, but then the more self-conscious part of her wondered if maybe this was his way of telling her he wasn’t interested in being a part of the baby’s life.
She just wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to make sure they were on the same wave length and that maybe, if he was interested, maybe they could do this whole parenting thing together.
In retrospect, she had no idea how to raise a shapeshifting panther. She could do this alone if she had to, but she so desperately didn’t want to do this alone. She wanted Charles to help and she wanted to learn more about him.
That day in the woods seemed to be a breakthrough between them. He had opened up, and told her what he was looking for on Sinder. She had learned about the man who seemed to have quickly stolen her heart, despite the circumstances. She knew it was stupid to already feel so strongly for a man she had slept with once, but they had understood each other during both of their meetings and she hoped that it was a positive sign that he had decided then against getting her involved because he had felt something for her, too.
She also wanted to be able to give her baby a father. She only had her mother growing up and she knew how difficult that was on her. She wanted to give her child everything she didn’t have and she wanted to start with the fact that he or she was going to have a daddy to call their own. She already loved the child growing inside her, she just wished Charles would open up more and try to get to know not only her, but the quickly-growing child in her womb as well.
The day had been long at work, and Julia was exhausted. She had noticed she was getting more exhausted as she got deeper into her pregnancy. She also noticed that she was getting larger and eventually she was going to have to go shopping for more clothes. She was thankful she was feeling better in the morning sickness department, but at the same time, she was beginning to feel sore in her chest.
Julia moved around her house, getting ready for her relaxing evening of watching one of her favorite TV shows and curling up on the couch with some leftovers from the night before. She was in the middle of heating up her leftovers when there was a knock on her door.
She frowned, wondering who could be wanting to talk to her at such a late hour – although it wasn’t that late, only eight, but still it was a work day in the morning, so she wasn’t sure what to expect. She threw on a robe over her pajamas and then went to go answer the door, wondering who it could be. She was and was not, surprised to see Charles on the other side of the door looking a little sheepish.
“Hi,” she said, surprised.
“Hi.” He was smiling slightly back at her.
She blinked, wondering whether she should invite him in or not, or whether she was dreaming. She’d thought about him coming to talk to her so many times she could very well be dreaming at this point.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.” “No, just eating some leftover dinner.” She took a step back and gestured for him to come into her apartment. “Do you want to come in?” she asked when he didn’t make any move to step forward.
“Sure, he said, smiling the same small smile at her.
She nodded and waited for him to step over the threshold.
“So what brings you by?” she asked, when he had come fully into her apartment.
He looked around, taking in the apartment, much like he had the first time they had been at her place together. She felt a sudden flush go through her body and she looked over at the couch, subconsciously reminding her of their one night together. Now, looking back on it, she had no idea how she could’ve missed the fact that they definitely didn’t use a condom. This could’ve all been avoided if only she had paid more attention.
She sighed heavily and looked back at him to find him looking at her. “Sorry,” she said, wanting to fill the heavy silence.
“I came to talk to you.”
“Alright. What do you want to talk about?” She winced, wondering how she could ask such an idiotic question. Of course, he’d want to talk about the baby. She had told him to come find her when he was ready and obviously he was ready. She could be stupid sometimes.
He smiled softly and moved over to the couch. She wondered whether it was a good idea to even sit on the couch because of what happened last time. She instead opted to sit on the armchair near the couch so she wouldn’t be tempted to relive their time together. Although, in retrospect, it would take care of an itch that needed scratching. She shooed the thought out of her mind before she could get any ideas.
“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, wanting to fill the silence that seemed to have settled over them.
“I’m fine.” He was looking anywhere but at her.
She nodded slowly and sat back against the chair, resting her hand on her stomach. “So what did you want to talk about?” she asked, when it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything.
“Us, I guess, and just everything.” He leaned forward on his knees and looked over at her with a curious expression.
“Oh, okay.” She nodded in understanding.
He nodded back and they lapsed into silence again.
“So what exactly did you want to talk about? I know you probably thought about the…” she trailed off, unable to say baby. “I mean you probably wanted to talk about the…thing.” She said rewording her sentence and wincing a little bit on “thing.”
The truth was, even though she was beginning to show and she was beginning to get weird looks in the hall at her job, she still hadn’t told anyone about the baby. Not her mother, her boss, no one. And she knew she wasn’t going to be able to hide it much longer because she was blowing up like a balloon.
“The baby?” he offered, watching her carefully.
She nodded slowly and shifted in her seat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come and talk to you about this sooner. I’ve been busy with the pack and work.”
“It’s okay,” she replied, although inwardly, she really didn’t think so.
He was freaking out and she really wanted to be told everything was okay, even though it so totally wasn’t. Maybe that was one of the reasons she had avoided everything baby-related. Maybe she just wanted him to come and talk to her. Maybe she was subconsciously waiting for him before she began to get baby-crazy. She really didn’t know. All she knew was that she was miserable and she already felt like her world was exploding around her because of this man.
“No, it’s not. I'm sorry it took me so long to talk to you. It’s been a really difficult few weeks. Anyway, I was hoping maybe we could talk everything over and then we are having a sort of…ball at the mansion and I was hoping that you would accompany me.”
She blinked in surprise at the invitation before she began mentally sifting through the items she had in her closet for something to wear to the pack ball.
“What is the Ball going to be like?” she asked, already knowing she was finally going to have to go shopping.
“Just, you know, a ball. It’s nothing fancy or anything. I mean, it is. Well it’s to…well it’s to announce us.” He looked uncomfortable for the first time since he had arrived.
She let her eyebrows rise until they disappeared into her bangs. “What do you mean, they are going to announce us? What does that even mean?” she asked, wondering what he was trying to say.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m not sure if you changed your mind since the woods or anything; I hope you haven’t. But I was wondering if maybe we could give this thing between us a try. I enjoyed getting to know you when we spent time together and after carefully thinking about all of this, I think it would be best if we began a relationship.”
She blinked, wondering if she had heard him correctly. �
��And the Ball is what? Like announcing us to be Alpha and She Alpha?” she asked, not fully understanding.
“It’s kind of to make sure everyone knows you are mine and I am staying the Alpha. It also gives the other panthers a chance to challenge me for Alpha status,” he said.
She paused thinking about this. It was true she wanted Charles to be in the child’s life, but she felt like this was all rushed. This whole ball thing sounded like an engagement party and she wondered vaguely if this was the shapeshifter’s way of being engaged.
“Alright, well, where does that leave us?” she asked curiously.
“What do you want out of us?” he asked.
“Well, I would like us to raise this baby together and get to know one another more. I want to know more about you and I want to understand you. I think we should take things slow.” She wished she felt more comfortable admitting this to him.
“Okay.”
“That’s it? Okay? We’re actually doing this?” she asked nervously.
He grinned. “Should I say something else? Okay, I’m okay with figuring out this thing between us. I think moving slow would be a good thing. We can figure it out as we go along.”
She nodded and gave him a small smile in return, “Sounds perfect.”
He returned the smile and nodded, “Good. So how about we go to dinner tomorrow and I’ll tell you more about this ball.”
“Sounds perfect.”
They smiled at each other and as the time ticked by, eventually Charles got up and bid her goodnight. She continued to smile the rest of the night, too excited for the next night to sleep properly.
***
The next day Julia awoke bright and early prepared for the day ahead. She was excited about her dinner that night with Charles, but still a little apprehensive. She was still nervous about talking with him since the last time they went out, he had easily left her with no other explanation. She hoped that maybe they could start again and that this time could be their first official date and not the other date that had ended with the conceiving of a child.
She wanted to look good, plus she needed to go shopping for the ball. She wasn’t really sure what to wear to either event and figured the best thing to do would be to go shopping. So after work, she stopped by her favorite boutique and picked out some clothes to wear that night and then to the ball later on in the week.
The Panther's Surrogate: A Paranormal Pregnancy Romance Page 18
