Central business district, she remembered. Nobody seemed to call it downtown. “That’s fine,” she said, not minding the idea of taking the tram, and then realizing that she’d agreed to the whole trip in the process. Sneaky Dom. She had been intending to make it to the zoo anyway. She much preferred to see animals in the wild, but it took a lot of time and patience, and she was all too aware of the shortness of her vacation.
“I don’t think I’d be very good company at the zoo,” she objected. She liked to sit and draw, and that generally took longer than most people wanted to spend looking at one animal.
He chuckled. “Yes, but you told me you’d be rubbish to dance with too, and that’s not been true.”
She didn’t think she’d used quite those words, but it was close enough to what she thought. “Are you saying you don’t trust me?”
“Not when you’re being hard on yourself, no.”
“You’ll be bored,” she warned. “I’ll want to bring my sketchbook.”
“That was the point, yes. You’re very talented.”
She stared at him for a moment. He must have peeked at her sketchbook when he brought her home. She sighed contentedly. Stu always complained she was taking too long, as if she could work any faster and still get it right, and of all his faults, she suspected that was one that she’d find almost universal. There couldn’t be anything more boring than watching someone else draw, could there?
Well, he’d find out. It was nice of him to be willing to try.
She would never have let him know where she was staying if he hadn’t taken her home when she got blitzed. Letting someone know where you were was a danger, and it would take only a moment for a strong man to overpower her when she opened the door. But he hadn’t taken advantage of her when she was drunk, and for that reason more than any other she trusted him.
She’d debated about what to wear. Her little black dress was the only thing she had that was remotely date-worthy, but it was completely inappropriate for going to the zoo. And she’d definitely need to wear her sensible shoes. If he hadn’t been meeting her in the morning, she might have gone out and got herself an outfit, but there really wasn’t time. So she went with sneakers, comfy blue jeans and a greenish plaid blouse, and after hesitating several times she unbuttoned an extra button on the blouse. He’d earned some concession.
He knocked on her hotel room door at ten, right on time. She closed her laptop. Stu had sent her two emails, one asking her to forgive him and re-marry him, the other telling her she was a lousy sub and a bitch. She really needed to stop reading his messages. At least she hadn’t cared enough to notice which order he sent them in. It could be either.
She opened the door. He was wearing jeans and a snug T-shirt that showed off his muscles to good effect. He took her in from head to toe with one sweep of his gaze. His smile surprised her, because she half expected to be a disappointment.
“Ready to go, or need a few minutes?” he asked.
“Just let me get my sketchbook. And do you mind if I take my paints?” She had been debating between watercolors and pencils, but after seeing his smile she was definitely in a mood for color. So much more cheerful.
“Of course not. Want help carrying? All I have to carry is a book.”
She raised her eyebrows. “A book?”
He held up a worn hardback copy of The Power of One, by Bryce Courtenay. “An old favorite. I figured you’d be a while drawing, so I should expect to amuse myself, and I’d rather do that next to you than by wandering the rest of the zoo. The zoo, unlike you, is not going away soon.”
“Oh.” She was flattered, and at the same time impressed by his practicality. She turned and got her stuff, aware of his gaze on her. She didn’t really need him to carry anything. She was used to keeping it all in her bag, and her travel set of watercolors fit very nicely, but she handed him the watercolor block after all. He took a glance at it and then tucked it under his arm with his book.
* * * * *
It was tempting to try to imagine how the platypus would look if the light were better or if it would stay still for a fraction of a second, and try to paint that. It would certainly make a more marketable painting. But there was something gripping about the way it darted about in the unlit water. In the pictures she had seen, they always looked like living evidence that God had a twisted sense of humor, little bits of various animals grafted improbably onto an ungainly shape. But in motion in the water, the platypus was perfect, its duck-like bill and beaver-like tail making it a streamlined and speedy swimmer.
She painted it as it was, a blur against the darkness but still quite recognizable as a unique animal. She was transfixed in a way she hadn’t been when painting the cute echidna that had wobbled out to greet them, or even the wallaby and the emu as they wrestled briefly over a head of cabbage to the wallaby’s inevitable defeat. She didn’t remember she had company until she was finished.
Nick was watching her, and he didn’t try to look away when she caught him at it. His book was closed and sitting on the bench, the flap of the dust jacket no longer marking his place. She glanced down at it, then at him. He was smiling. “How long?” she asked.
“You’ve been at it for a bit over an hour this time. You’re amazingly quick. Lovely picture too, you’ve really captured the beastie.”
“And you’re amazingly patient.” She felt the heat rise in her face at his compliment. “I meant how long have you been finished with your book and staring at me? I know about how long it takes me to work.” In her embarrassment, she sounded snappish, and she didn’t like it. He hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
He didn’t seem to notice either. “Only half an hour. I can’t paint, so I have to memorize.”
That didn’t help. “I’m not worth memorizing,” she said.
“I beg to differ. I suppose I could have taken a picture with my phone.”
She frowned. She wasn’t a fan of photographs of herself, although there wasn’t any harm in it she could put her finger on. “Well, too bad you missed your opportunity. I’d have noticed that. I wasn’t that far in a trance.”
His smirk made her wonder if he had taken a picture of her, after all. It was true she hadn’t noticed him put his book down. She decided not to press it, because if he had a picture, she certainly didn’t want to see it.
A rumble in her tummy made her look at her watch. It was nearly three o’clock, and she hadn’t eaten anything since he’d picked her up and had only had some jam on toast for breakfast. The worst thing was the lightheadedness she felt when she realized it. She knew that she had the same amount of blood sugar before realizing how late it was as after, and yet somehow she didn’t feel like it, and she hated that as a weakness. It always happened, and getting lost in her art was nothing new.
His face went serious. “You okay, Zoe? You look kind of pale. Something happen?”
She bit her lip. Pain usually helped wake her. “Nope, nothing. I’m betting the zoo has outrageously priced food.”
He shrugged. “No worries. I’ll treat. The real question is, do you want to do more painting here at the zoo, or even have a wander? If so, it doesn’t really make sense to leave to eat, even if it is a bit more.”
She glanced back at her painting of the platypus. She had put everything into it, and she felt drained by more than lack of food. “No, I don’t think I’ll be painting anymore today.” She’d pushed on before, when she’d finished something she felt that passionately about, and she was never happy with the results.
“Maybe we could have something here, something to tide us over?” She wasn’t going to eat as much as she wanted, not with him paying. She already felt indebted to him. It seemed each time they’d gotten together, it was all about her and what she needed. Her need to get home, her pleasure, her painting. She didn’t get a chance to give of herself, and she wanted that.
But she knew he still wanted time in private with her, and that still scared her.
He stood up
and offered his hand. She took it and let him help her up. She carefully picked up the two paintings that had been sitting on the bench. The sun was high overhead and had been shining on them quite directly, and they were adequately dry. She let go of him for a moment to pack them up carefully, and then took his hand again to walk with him.
His hand felt warm, and she almost regretted it when food turned out to be quite close. But having expected rather plain fare, the heaping plate of pad thai she ended up with was most welcome. “This is delicious!”
He smiled, a steaming plate of the savory noodle dish in front of him as well. “Glad you think so. I’m hoping it’s not so good it dissuades you from having dinner with me.”
“Mr. Carrady, keep this up and I might get the impression you actually like me.”
“Whatever it takes to get it through to you.”
“Why?” Couldn’t he see that she was damaged goods? Scarred physically, afraid to be with him alone?
“You’ve got spunk. You tell me what you want and don’t want, and I get the feeling someone tried very hard to beat that out of you. I’ve always had a lot of respect for people who get knocked down and get right back up again. And I admit I have an ulterior motive.”
“You want to sleep with me.”
“Sleep?” He grinned broadly. “Yes, I guess sleeping would be nice too. But I was also hoping that after dinner you’d let me take you back to Indigo.”
“I thought it only ran the two nights.”
His eyes twinkled. “Yeah, that’s all they tell people about in the papers. Lots of new people come every year, and that’s a good thing, but those that hang back and watch or act like assholes generally don’t find out about the third night. It tends to wind down earlier too, although there’s always a few who stay until late. Most of us have to get up Monday morning and go to work.”
“You’ll want more than you got last night.”
“I’ll want to explore something different, for sure. You’ll have to trust me, and I know that trust doesn’t come easy to you. I don’t blame you for that, but I can’t tell you we don’t need it either.”
We. He says that as if we’re a couple. How lovely that sounds. And impossible. “I haven’t a thing to wear.” She knew that wouldn’t stop him, but at least it might give her a moment to come up with another reason not to go.
“Perfect.”
It took her a moment to process the quick and unexpected response. He can’t mean… He does. “You just want me naked?”
“I did admit to ulterior motives, didn’t I? What man wouldn’t want you naked?” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I actually did bring one thing for you to wear. A collar. Not as a sign of a commitment, but because if you’re wearing one the other Doms will know you’re taken, and I don’t think either of us wants someone trying to cut in. And hopefully it will remind you that I’m going to protect you.”
She stared at him. He met her gaze, a soft smile playing on lips that had touched her far too briefly. She hadn’t had a man lust after her so frankly in a long time. “What are we going to do there?”
“Nothing that will damage you, bruise you or mark you in any way. Nothing that will require you to be out of sight of others. And nothing that will require you to be restrained or unable to get away.” He glanced at her food. “Say the phrase ‘pad thai’ and I’ll stop. Other than that, you’re going to have to leave it up to me.”
“We don’t get to negotiate?” She frowned.
Nick shook his head. “Darlin’, if you were any other sub, I’d negotiate until the sun set, and it sets pretty late this time of year. I don’t enjoy starting a scene and having someone safe word out of it if I can avoid it by some good conversation beforehand, and you’ll have your safe word, always. But the fact is, I don’t think that’s what you need. I think you need to learn that it’s okay to trust again, as well as that it’s okay to play again. And I intend to fulfill your needs as best as I can.”
Her needs had been fulfilled last night. It had been his that she figured had been ignored. She wanted so badly to say yes to him, and yet part of her wanted to yell no way and run. She took a breath and gave him the most positive answer she could. “I’ll think about it.” She took another bite of her pad thai. Prey needed to eat too and the food was yummy.
“Good.” He took hold of her hand, the one that wasn’t holding a fork, and said, softly, “Dinner will be genuine Australian food. Pizza.”
She didn’t recall saying yes to dinner either, but she was distracted from objecting to the supposition by the incongruity of what he said. “Pizza is Australian food, is it?”
“We have our own take on it, I think it’s fair to say.”
Chapter Five
The pizza was yummy. Zoe had never thought of having smoked salmon and capers on pizza before, but she had to admit it went well. She passed on the idea of egg pizza, however. That was too strange. But now she was standing in front of Nick near the coat rack at Indigo. He’d ordered her to strip, which she’d been dreading for hours.
“Do I have to?” She made a face at Nick, but she knew the answer already. She sounded like a spoiled teenager, even to herself, begging for something she knew she wasn’t going to get. All she had to do was walk out or say her safe word. On some level, she knew she didn’t have to do anything he told her to, and asking the question was an admission that she was going to obey.
He chuckled. “No, not at all.”
She blinked. The music at Indigo was much quieter than it had been the night before, instrumental rock with a hint of classical music in it, dark and haunting. She’d definitely heard him correctly.
“Just stay still.”
He put his hands behind her, unfastened her bra and slipped it off over her shoulders. Oh. She’d taken the blouse off without protest, and then she’d balked. He hadn’t seen her breasts before, hadn’t seen the little marks on them, and she didn’t know what he’d think. She liked rough treatment there, but as with most things, Stu had overdone it in a big way, all the while claiming it was what she liked. Or if not, then what she deserved. Her breasts had received special attention from him, with needles and cigarettes; it always seemed as if that was where he got his most sadistic kicks, as if there was something about her curves that offended him. Her chest still looked fine in a bra, she thought, but outside of one, she wasn’t so sure.
“You’re gorgeous.” He hung the bra on the rack, then caressed her breasts briefly, cupping them and then letting them go. He stepped back. “And now for the rest. And yes, you do have to, because while I’d enjoy undressing you, I’ll enjoy watching you more.”
She blushed. “Bastard.”
He raised his eyebrows, but the slight upturn of the corner of his lip reassured her.
“Did I confuse my m’s and b’s again?” she asked innocently. “I hate it when I do that.”
He laughed. “Off with the pants. And your knickers too, if you’re wearing any.”
“Knickers? Oh, panties. Of course I’m wearing some.”
Getting her jeans off wasn’t so bad. She hesitated before she took off her panties, however. He was watching her with frank appreciation, and that didn’t bother her. But while the crowd was thinner at Indigo, there were still plenty of people around. Some significant minority of them already had their clothes off, which was some consolation but not a lot. The threat of punishment had usually compelled her obedience in Texas. This time, it was up to her.
She wasn’t going to disappoint him. She looked down and hooked her thumbs under the elastic in the waist and pulled them down quickly before she could change her mind. She picked up her purse from where she’d left it on the floor. Naked or not, she couldn’t be without her passport, not to mention her wallet. When she looked back up he was there, a thin strip of black leather in his hand.
Meeting her gaze, he fastened it around her neck and buckled it in the back. It felt snug, and the inside was butter-soft. But the narrowness of it
worried her. A wider collar distributed pressure more evenly if he wanted to tug on it and pull her by it, especially important if he grabbed her from behind. Even a wide collar could take her breath away if pulled suddenly. She nibbled on her lip, not sure whether to say something or not.
“Out with it, darlin’.”
“This collar is too thin.”
“It would be, if I was using it as a restraint. But I promised not to do that. It’s a symbol, to stop you from getting hit on.”
“But won’t you be right there the whole time?”
He smiled. “Most of the time, yes. I’m going to push you, Zoe, because you need it. Follow me, please.” He turned around and walked across the room and she hurried to keep up.
Most. She didn’t like the sound of that at all. She was about to say so when she stopped herself. To raise a safety concern was one thing, but she didn’t want to be ruled by her fears. He seemed as trustworthy a Dom as she was likely to find, and whoever saw her here would never see her again. She could paint herself with giant polka dots and it wouldn’t matter, because none of these people would affect her real life in Texas. The thought of polka dots brought a smile to her face, and she had to hold back a giggle. She didn’t want him to ask her what she was thinking, for fear he might do it.
She wasn’t going to tell him he was already pushing her either. She was pretty sure he knew it.
He pulled a blue folding chair into position and sat down on it. It was at an angle to the round table, but there wasn’t quite room to kneel directly in front of it, and she wasn’t sure she was allowed the chair either. So she stood, waiting and feeling embarrassed. Any seated or kneeling position would cover her up better than standing did.
“Now there’s a bar over in that section of the room,” he said, gesturing to the right of the exit. He got out his wallet, pulled out an orange twenty-dollar note and handed it to her. “I’d like a mineral water for myself, but you’re welcome to get anything you want. I’d suggest avoiding any strong alcohol, and in any case you have a one-drink limit tonight.”
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