by Blue Saffire
I shake it off and sign the book. My mind travels to my brother. The last month and a half has been one of the hardest times in my life. Losing my brother, then, my son’s father suddenly wanting to come around more, —and not at all because he wants to see his son.
This book signing was just the break I needed. I feel like I can’t breathe at home. I have more deadlines coming, but it’s been so hard. I’m so grateful to my girls. Kaye and Dean are my rocks. They’ve been writing as long as I have if not longer and neither are afraid to give me a good kick in the pants.
“Darlin’, you can sign that second one to Redding. I know he’d be proud of you. I plan to take it to him,” that rumbling drawl breaks into my thoughts.
My head pops up, my hand in mid-air. The gasp that leaves my lips takes all my breath with it. I narrow my eyes at the man I was ogling just minutes ago.
Parker.
“Oh, my God,” I whisper. “Lieutenant Jake Parker?”
He gives me a tight smile and nods. Tears well in my eyes, I look beyond him and the line is still crazy. I bring my gaze back to him.
“Please, please don’t go. I would like to talk to you,” I plead.
“If you don’t mind. I’d like to come by your mama’s house tomorrow. I made a promise. I plan to keep it. You take care of these folks waiting to see you. This won’t be the last you see of me. I’ll be around,” he winks and my heart squeezes.
Chapter 4
Keeping my Word
Parker
I slept for shit in my hotel last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about Lakia. It nearly killed me to see the sadness in her eyes, when she realized who I was. Her fingers trembled, as she signed the copy of her book for her brother.
Once she handed the book over, I wished I had waited at the end of the line. I could see finishing out the signing was going to take a toll on her. Still, I knew if I stuck around in plain sight it would only make it worse.
I watched her from a distance for as long as I could take it. Once my head started to pound, —even with my glasses on,—I knew it was time for me to leave. Last thing I needed was to forget where my hotel was, while in a city I don’t know.
Turning my head to the clock, it lights up 0400hrs. I groan, sitting up with a grunt. I haven’t been sleeping much anyhow.
In the hospital, I would lose entire periods of time. Just gone, forgotten. Other times, my vision would go, which led to the new glasses I’ve been wearing. I lost my shit once, when my vision went to shit and I forgot why I couldn’t see or where the fuck I was.
I wouldn’t say it out loud to the docs, but I feel like a broken man. I’m here to keep a promise, but I’m not entirely sure I can do what Redding asked of me. Although, I’ll die trying, —I know that with everything I am.
Blowing out a breath, I rub my eyes. I want to get to Redding’s mama’s house before breakfast. I need to make a stop or two on the way.
Dragging my ass out of bed, I take a shower. I don’t bother to look down at the scarred flesh on my left side. I pushed my body to its limits to get back on my feet. The soldier in me needed to get to my assignment.
My mind turns to the mission ahead of me. I can’t get her eyes and lips out of my head. I lean forward, placing my forehead against the shower wall. I can feel my groin tighten, but I don’t have time to give it attention.
I also haven’t decided how I feel about all of this. I don’t know what Redding would think about me desiring his little sister like this. He’d probably kick my damn ass.
I shake the thoughts from my mind and finish up. I need to hit the twenty-four hour gym I found. I noticed I started to limp last night. At times the damage to the nerves sets in and I lose feeling. Docs said if I continue to work at it, the muscle memory may kick in. The damage could have been a lot worse.
I roll my shoulders, focused on the tasks ahead of me. I have a plan and I’ll stick to that. First, I need to make myself known to Myles’ family. They’ll be seeing a lot of me from now on. I want to make them comfortable with my presence.
I’m dress and out the door fifteen minutes later. I press my lips at the black frames in my hand. I hate these glasses. Memories of high school flood my brain. I wore glasses from grade school, all the way to the twelfth grade. My father didn’t see the point in me getting contacts. When I turned eighteen, I used the money my mama left me to get laser surgery. What a waste that turned out to be.
I stop myself from crushing the glasses in my palm out of anger. I remind myself, —I’m alive and I have my vision. Placing the specs on my face and tossing my gym bag in the passenger seat, I climb into the vehicle I rented. I’ll find a place and get a car, once I get settled with the family.
My phone rings, bringing me out of my mental planning and musing. I grit my teeth when I see my cousin’s name pop up on the screen. Ryder is a good guy, a retired Master Chief Petty Officer. He actually has been here in Texas with his mama and pop for a bit. If he gets wind that I’m in town, I’ll never get him out of my hair.
I’m not ready to deal with how I feel about all that’s happened. I shift in my seat, not comfortable with ignoring my family, but knowing I’m not ready to answer his call. I sigh, when the ringing stops and the phone dings for voicemail.
Begrudgingly, I swipe to listen to the message. I grimace with guilt, as my cousin’s familiar voice greets my ears. Thoughts of home and my daddy surface. He’d be pissed that I’m avoiding family.
“Jake, you can’t dodge me forever. Remember who I am. I know you’ve been discharged, you were cleared two days ago. I want to hear from your ass,” Ryder commands. I can hear him mumble under his breath, as he goes to disconnect the phone line. “Stubborn ass.”
A small smile tugs up the side of my lips. I’ll call him back later, before he has the entire Navy looking for me. I wouldn’t put it pass him.
Suddenly, I’m not sure where I’m headed to. I try to remember, but my head fights against me the more I push. I refuse to panic. I know I have important things to do. I look around at the street outside.
Nothing provides me with a clue. Stopping at a light, I sigh, pitching the bridge of my nose. Something catches my eye in the passenger seat. It’s my gym bag.
The gym.
I nod to myself. I’m going to the twenty-four-hour gym to blow off some steam and work on my leg. My brows knit.
Come on, Parker. Strategize. Don’t let this beat you.
A horn blows behind me, bringing my attention to the green light. I pull off and turn into the first lot I find. I park and pick up my phone. Opening a free note, I make a list of my tasks for the day. When done, I program the GPS on the car for all of my stops and their locations.
You got this.
Lakia
“Girl, why on earth are you up pacing?” Mama breaks through my thoughts as I peek out the curtains. “Shouldn’t you be writing?”
It’s seven in the morning. I usually get up to get some writing done at this hour. I should be working on my next book, but I’ve been distracted. Parker, —as my brother always referred to him, —didn’t give me a time for when he would arrive. Yet, I’ve been on pins and needles, waiting for him to appear.
I’ve been staying at my mother’s house for a little over a month now. Those first few weeks were so hard on her. I could see she wasn’t taking care of herself. I wanted to be close to her, after Myles’…I still can’t even think the words.
The fact that we didn’t even have a body to bury, makes this all so much harder. I wish there was more I could do to help my mother heal. I still don’t know where to begin for myself.
“You’re up early,” I reply, avoiding her observation.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she sighs, running a hand through her salt and pepper pixie cut. “It’s still not real for me. I can’t except that I’ve lost my son.”
“I know, Mama. I…” my words cutoff in my throat.
“I need to busy myself. I thought I’d make breakfast, while you write,�
�� she says, moving to the refrigerator.
I smile. The kitchen is Mama’s favorite place to be. She hasn’t been in the mood to cook much lately, this is good. I start for my seat at the nook, but the doorbell stops me in my tracks.
“Who could that be,” Mama says, starting for the door.
“I’ll get it,” I wave her off, not telling her it could be a friend of Myles’.
My heart pounds as I go. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. I want to talk to Parker. I want to know what happened to my brother, but my racing heart says that I want a whole lot more.
Girl, if you don’t get yourself together. Being a sucker for grey eyes and sexy swagger got you in the mess you’re in now.
I frown, as I think of Toni’s ass. He called me, demanding to know when I’d be returning to my own home. I nearly told him to kiss my ass.
“I hope I didn’t offend you yesterday,” that sexy rumble from yesterday pulls me from my thoughts.
I blink, tipping my head back to look up at him. He takes my breath away. His black square framed glasses aren’t on his face, but hanging from his button down’s pocket. Those blue eyes are on clear display, showing off those long black lashes. The way they curl and seem to wisp out have me so damn jealous. Surprisingly, today he has the start of a beard covering his square jaw. Yesterday at the signing, he just had light stumble growing in.
I bite my lip, as dirty thoughts of that facial hair between my thighs assault my senses. I can’t even remember what he just said to me. His brows knit and he lifts the bags in his hands.
“I stopped for a few things at the grocery store. I wanted to make you guys breakfast, but if you want me to come back later…” he trails off.
“No, no,” I shake my head clear. “Please come in. You don’t have to make us breakfast.”
“I figured it would be a way for you all to get to know me,” he says with a sexy crooked smile, before crossing the threshold.
“How did you know I would be here this early,” slips out of my mouth, before I can think better of it.
He turns his head, those sharp eyes locking on me. “Your brother asked me to check in on you all if anything ever happened to him. I’ve been doing all I can from a distance. Now I’m here, I’m thorough in all I do, Ma’am,” he replies, his eyes traveling over me.
I don’t know why every word that just came out of his mouth sounds so dirty. Maybe it’s because he is dripping with sex. It is just oozing off of him.
“Oh,” is all I can come up with.
I fight not to slap my hand to my forehead. I pull it together and rush around him to lead him into the kitchen. I can hear Mama moving around in there. I don’t know how she’s going to feel about this man in her kitchen. I seriously doubt she’s going to allow it. I stopped trying years ago.
“Mama, we have company,” I say, when she comes into view.
She looks up from the coffeemaker and a gasp leaves her lips. I haven’t seen my mama move this fast in eons. Parker sets down the bags in his hands just in time to wrap his arms around her. I watch as his face fills with sorrow and regret. He holds her closely, as she clings to him.
“My son loved you like family. He promised to bring you home the last time I talked to him,” she nearly sobs.
“He was my family, Ma’am. Y’all all are,” he replies, emotions clear in his voice.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I try to hold it together. His eyes lift from my mama in his arms. She looks so much smaller than him. Tears start to slip free, when he opens an arm to wave me into the hug. My feet are moving without my consent.
I join the hug, wrapping an arm around Mama and one around Parker. I’m blown away at the instant safety I feel. His warmth engulfs me, pulling me into his aura. There is something dark but comforting at the same time. I want to bury myself deeper into it, but I stay stock still.
“I’d like to make you all breakfast. That way we can get to know each other a bit better,” he says after a few moments.
I step out of his hold, bracing myself. I hope Mama will let him down gently. He has been very sweet, but Mama being Mama can be darn right abrasive sometimes.
“Aren’t you sweet,” my mama turns her face up to smile at him. “Let me know what you need and I’ll get out of your way.”
My mouth drops open. Then, my brows knit. Mama must be taking this harder than I thought. Myles couldn’t make his own dag-on toast in her kitchen. Heck, it’s a fight for me to make Isaac a cup of hot chocolate. I’ve been ordering out since we’ve been here or cooking on the few occasions she’ll go out to Bingo or Spades with friends.
It’s not that she doesn’t trust my cooking. She just takes over when you’re in her kitchen. I move to take a seat by my laptop at the nook. I have to see this. There is no way she is going to let him cook a full meal in her kitchen.
I watch in stunned silence, as she sets him up. My head tilts, as I begin to watch Parker more closely. Texas gets pretty hot for the long sleeve shirt he has on. I’m not surprised, when he begins to roll up his right sleeve. What peeks my interest is his hesitation, when he goes for his left. In the end, he unbuttons the cuff and rolls it once.
Girl, maybe he has some sexy ass tat that says something naughty he doesn’t want Mama to see.
My imagination runs wild. So much so, I don’t realize that Mama has joined me at the table. I’m too busy imagining what Parker looks like with his clothes off.
“Girl, you need to close your mouth,” my mama snickers.
My head snaps in her direction. I wipe under my mouth to ensure I’m not drooling, causing my mother to throw her head back in a full laugh. It’s such a beautiful sound. I don’t think I’ve heard it, since the morning we talked on the phone before—
I shut the memory down quickly, wanting to stay in this moment.
I fan my face and lean into Mama. “Lawrt, the man is fine,” I whisper.
“That he is. I’m sure he and your brother had the women swooning left and right,” she says, with sad eyes that sparkle just a little.
“I can’t believe you’re letting him in your kitchen,” I display my shock.
“A man that fine offers to cook for you, you step out of the way,” she shrugs. “Lord, have mercy. I think he is finer with the glasses on.”
I turn to see what has my mother nearly drooling this time. Sure enough, Parker has those glasses on. He looks damn sexy and confident in my mother’s home. The place is already starting to fill with delicious scents. He looks up from his task and locks eyes with me.
“I was told French toast is your favorite and Isaac loves strawberry pancakes,” he says with a slight smile on his lips. His eyes turn to Mama. “Apple and cinnamon oatmeal for you, Ma’am.”
It’s not questions. He’s showing us he knows facts about us. My nipples tighten against my bra. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. His confidence in his knowledge and the ease in his movements. It’s all mouthwatering.
“You think you can make my oatmeal better than me,” I turn to see Mama giving him side eye with her question.
I cover my mouth to hide my smile. This is what I was expecting all along. I think Parker just got himself thrown out of my mama’s kitchen.
“No, Ma’am. I don’t, but I’m going to try my hardest to get it as close as possible,” he gives a small chuckle.
“Oh, no, baby. Let me get in this kitchen,” Mama starts to lift from her seat.
“I don’t think so, Ma’am,” Parker says firmly.
Once again, my mouth pops open. I think he has just gotten his behind thrown out the house. My eyes volley between the two. Mama is frozen, mid-way out of her seat. Her brow is lifted. Parker lifts a hand to still her wrath.
“I’m going to ask you to trust me. I’ll surprise you. I promise,” he says, turning on that megawatt smile.
Mama falls for it, easing her way back down into her seat. I’m speechless. Mama doesn’t back down or listen to anyone. My son’s father is a police off
icer and she has threatened his life on more than one occasion.
Mama’s reaction to Parker is forgotten, when I hear a tiny gasp and the halting sound of footy pajamas sliding on the hardwood floor. I see a caramel faced, wide eyed Isaac staring up at Parker in awe. He breaks into a smile showing his little teeth.
“Uncle Parker,” he squeals, causing my heart to squeeze.
“There’s my little buddy. I’ve missed our talks,” Parker croons, crouching down to Isaac’s height.
My son runs right into his arms. My heart melts in my chest. Myles used to tell me to leave the room and let Isaac have some space while the “men” talk. Isaac loved the time he had with his uncle. I just never knew Parker was such a big part of that time.
Isaac is a lively and bright four-year-old. He doesn’t miss a thing. It’s one of the reasons I hate the way his father treats him so much. I could give two rats behinds what Toni does to me, but when he makes Isaac promises he knows he’s not going to keep, it drives me insane.
“I missed you, too. I miss Uncle Myles. Mommy said he’s in heaven and my tablet doesn’t reach that far,” my son’s little sad voice tears my heart to pieces.
Parker gives him a squeeze. His arms tighten so much, I think he might break my son. Isaac’s little arms wrap around his neck and he holds him just as tightly.
“I’ll be here for you, little buddy. Whatever you need, you come to me just like you would your Uncle Myles,” Parker says like a promise.
I frown. I don’t want this man making promises to my son he won’t keep. His father already does enough of that. Isaac is already crushed that Myles isn’t coming back. He was so looking forward to it.
I stand, catching Parker’s eyes over Isaac’s head. I press my lips and shake my head sternly at him. I’m taken back, when Parker’s blue eyes darken. He lifts to his feet, taking Isaac with him, hoisting him onto his hip.
