Dear Diamond

by Walls, Stephie

  “She’s mine, Jesse.” And with that, I’d just laid claim to a female.

  Telling Sam she was with me in the parking lot of Swank could have been taken a couple ways, but claiming her to Jesse was no different than signing a marriage license in Dacon, Illinois. It held the same significance.

  “Hey…” Nikki reared back, taking me down with one glare.

  I hadn’t had time to prep her for what I had to say in here. She hadn’t stayed put like she’d been told, so the discussion I’d planned to have over dinner hadn’t happened. If she didn’t shut up now, she’d blow any chance I had of getting her out of this shit without repercussion.

  Thankfully, Jesse ignored her one-word outburst. “What are you asking for, Ryker?”

  I’d had plenty of time to think about it, and in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t a lot. I was willing to exchange everything I’d done for Chase and the Silvano family. What shocked the hell out of me was that I was willing to do it for Nikki. I’d never planned to call in that favor. I’d kept it closely guarded in case I ever needed to fall back on it, but once this hand was played—regardless of how the cookie crumbled with Nikki—the game was over. There wouldn’t be a mulligan. One and done.

  “Her.” I glanced at Nikki and hoped like hell she saw the truth in my eyes.

  “That’s it?” Jesse interrupted before I could finish.

  I shook my head. “She doesn’t dance at Swank anymore. She doesn’t owe you a penny. And her mom’s problems are her mom’s—they don’t touch Nikki.” I could have asked for her mom’s protection as well, but if she were in as far as Nikki had indicated, Jesse never would have conceded.

  “You realize what you’re asking for, right?”

  The fact that I did should have scared me more than actually asking for it. I’d just laid claim to a woman I barely knew, who’d fought me tooth and nail about every damn thing I’d tried to do, and one I knew would not sit idly by while I controlled the puppet strings. The Union would expect me to get her out of the neighborhood and away from the other girls. None of which I believed she’d go for without a lot of heavy persuasion.

  “I do.” Those two words were ominous.

  “Wait.” Jesus, she was fucking gorgeous, but I wanted to tape her damn mouth shut. “What did you just agree to?”

  I could tell without looking, Nikki was addressing me, not Jesse. And Jesse was amused by her outburst when he chuckled from across the desk.

  “Just like Camilla…” he muttered under his breath and sat back to watch the show with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

  Nikki moved to the edge of her seat and turned my direction. “Was that some weird mating ritual that just happened? What the hell, Ryker?” She swatted at my arm to get my attention.

  I flinched, unsure of how to handle the situation to my left while the man in front of me snickered at her apparent disagreement with my statement.

  “I’m not a piece of property for you to claim,” she sneered. “I can handle my own problems.”

  I shouldn’t have engaged, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Oh yeah? Is that what you’ve been doing? Handling your problems? Jesus, Nikki, you have no idea what you’ve committed yourself to. You aren’t going to get out of this…ever.” I’d lost my cool. When I dragged my hand through my hair, I noticed the bits of perspiration that had formed on my brow. If I felt it, then Jesse saw it.

  Jesse was a lot of things, but oblivious wasn’t one. He held up his hand to silence her rant and prevent my retort. “Ryker, you’re making a mistake. But if this is how you want to play things, I’ll agree to it.”

  “All of it?” I asked.

  Nikki grunted beside me, clearly unhappy with my choice.

  Jesse gave Nikki a hard look. “You’re done at Swank. But every choice you make from here on out falls on Ryker’s shoulders. If you so much as breathe wrong, you’ll be right back where you are, and there won’t be any saving you.”

  “And her mom?” I needed this spelled out for Nikki so there was no question about what was expected.

  “If Tabitha continues the way she’s been going, my men will deal with her directly. But she doesn’t fall under your umbrella of protection.” Jesse clasped his hands together on the desk and talked to me like a mentor instead of a drug lord who ran a crooked game. “You’ve never been one to make rash decisions, so I assume you’ve thought out all the scenarios in this and how it could go wrong. Shielding Diamond just became a lifelong commitment, regardless of how things play out between the two of you.”

  I felt like a kid being scolded by his parents. “I know what I’m doing, Jesse.”

  He slapped the desk, and a large grin brandished his cheeks. “Good. Then I look forward to seeing both of you at my table. Camilla will love her.”

  “Oh yeah? You think she’d love knowing you offered to let me off if I sucked—”

  “Nikki!” I stopped her from making the situation worse.

  Jesse shook his head. “My wife knows where my loyalty lies. You weren’t the first, and you won’t be the last. Don’t make a fool of yourself by trying to prove something. You’ll lose that fight. Being in the good graces of the Silvanos has its advantages, just like being our enemy carries its own weight. You’d be wise to learn the difference between the two.” His threat came off as advice rather than danger.

  I stood, knowing the discussion was over. Nikki followed suit, but with piss and vinegar versus a grateful attitude. She had no idea what I’d just saved her from, and I doubted she ever would.

  “That’s it?” She threw her arms in the air. “Ryker speaks, and all is forgiven? Yet I have a lifetime of looking over my shoulder?” She kept muttering under her breath as the two guys who’d held her hostage escorted her out to the lobby.

  “Ryker,” Jesse called out. “Stay for a moment.” It wasn’t really a request, and regardless of what was going on in Nikki’s mind, I had enough respect for the Union to oblige.

  Once the door shut, I could hear Nikki ranting beyond the glass, even if I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t stop myself from shaking my head when my chin touched my chest.

  “She’s a handful, son. You sure this is what you want?”

  I’d never lied to Jesse. He’d known since I was little what I wanted out of life, and it was to get out of Dacon. “She’s twisted me up inside.” It was honest.

  “The good ones always do. But she’s young, and you’re going to have to reel her in.”

  I didn’t think she’d give me the chance. And after this, I wasn’t certain I’d ever see her again. Nikki was pissed. She hated everything about Union 21, just like I did. The only difference being the connection I had to the Silvanos. Nikki didn’t share that bond, and as much as I wished I didn’t, I couldn’t ever escape it.

  “Any idea how to do that?”

  He clapped me on the shoulder. “Not a damn clue.” Jesse’s laughter echoed around his office. “But if she means something to you, you’ll figure it out.”

  I didn’t have a clue what she meant to me. I’d met her ten days earlier, and I’d only spent a handful of time with her. Granted, it had been non-stop, but it was still just a weekend. Being with her, being inside her, it just changed me in a way I couldn’t quite grasp.

  Sam had stayed behind with Jesse’s bodyguard. They both now stood at the door, waiting to see me out.

  “Once you get things sorted, you and Nikki need to come by the house with Chase and his wife for dinner. Sundays are still a huge spread, and Camilla goes all out.” The fact that he’d used her real name instead Diamond was the only way Jesse would acknowledge that Nikki was no longer an object of U21’s affection.

  Jesse grabbed the handle, but he didn’t open the door. There was something else he wanted to say, but he hadn’t formed the sentence. He wasn’t one to mince words, so whatever he said would be significant. “If you want to save her from the life she was born into…” He hesitated. “She’s going to have to scrape off Tabitha.”r />
  I nodded. I didn’t know the depths of her mother’s betrayal to the Union, and I was fairly sure that Nikki didn’t either.

  “She’s in deep. And she isn’t going to get out alive.” There was no point in asking what Jesse meant by that because he wouldn’t tell me. Either the drugs would kill her or someone on his payroll would. “Nikki needs to be as far away as possible when it happens.”

  The logistics of how to make that a reality were more difficult than just telling Nikki to stay away from her mom. She’d proven today just how headstrong she could be. It wouldn’t be as easy as demanding she quit her job and let me take care of her. “Easier said than done.”

  Jesse swung open the door, and I expected to find the object of our conversation on the other side. “You’ll figure it out.”

  I jerked my head at asshole number one. “Where the hell did she go?”

  He lifted his brow and shook his head. “Your guess is as good as mine. That one has a mouth on her.” There was humor in his expression and a mutual understanding.

  Every man had either been with or known a woman like Nikki Wilson. They were prominent in Italian communities. They were also the ones who became matriarchs of large families, not that we were there yet. And while they laughed at the impulsive woman who had me chasing her around town, I could see the envy in their stares. She was hot as hell and good as gold. I just had to figure out how to tame her long enough to get her to concede to be mine.

  Fuck.

  I warred between what frustrated me more: her defiance or the fact that I fell harder for her with each deviant act. Her ferocity was what had attracted me to her the first time I’d seen her on stage; it appeared it would also be my undoing.

  “Tell me about it.”

  14

  Nikki

  I wasn’t his to claim. I didn’t belong to anyone, much less someone affiliated with Jesse Silvano. And to top it off, Ryker had stayed behind for God knew what in that office. “Just let me go,” I hollered at the man who still held my bicep after we’d walked into the lobby. I jerked away with little effort.

  The man held up his hands in surrender. I didn’t stay to figure out what happened next. I wanted the hell out of Dodge, and the only way to make that happen was to start walking. I wasn’t far from my apartment. When I burst through the doors at the Warehouse, the wind outside hit me with brute force. It was colder than it had been in days, and my jacket did little to ward off the bite of the night air.

  It had been daylight when Sam dragged me in there, but after hours of waiting on Ryker, the sun had dipped low, and darkness had taken its place in the sky. I hated being on the streets at night. Even after my shifts, Jerry always dropped me off. I groaned at the thought of my boss—the one I’d never gone to see or talked to before not showing up for work. There was no point in calling during the dinner rush—not that I had my phone—no one would answer, and even if they did, Jerry wouldn’t take my call. I’d likely just lost both opportunities I’d had to make money—Swank and the restaurant. Thank you, Ryker.

  I pulled the leather of my coat around my body, hoping to seal in some warmth, and tucked my hands under my arms while I practically sprinted toward my complex. Cars drove by, kicking up the water that had pooled in the street. And I kept my head down with each person I passed; engaging with even the simplest of hellos put me at risk for being hurt. Once the sun went down, nothing around here was safe.

  As I approached my building, I noticed the same woman Ryker had talked to outside with her little boy. She had her arms loaded down with what appeared to be groceries. I raised my hand and waved, but I didn’t stop to talk. The girl offered a smile and kept her son moving as I raced up the flight of stairs to my door.

  No sooner had I stuck my key into the lock and turned it than moans came billowing out into the breezeway. It didn’t occur to me what I heard until the sight came into view. I rushed in and slammed the door behind me, worried someone else would bear witness to the image I wanted to burn from my eyes. If ripping the orbs from their sockets would eliminate what I saw before me, I’d stick my nails in and gouge them out without a second thought.

  It was like porn gone wrong. No child should ever see their mother naked and riding a thug on her couch. She straddled his lap, and his hairy thighs spread wide exposed more of him than I cared to see. I stood frozen like a deer in the headlights, watching Ma bounce up and down on a stranger’s dick.

  Her head fell back between her shoulder blades as she ground into him. “Oh yeah, does that feel good?” she cooed without realizing she had an audience.

  “Ma!” I hollered just as I noticed another man in the kitchen.

  My attention jerked to him, and he stood with a straw in one hand and a finger pressed against his nose with the other. His eyes were closed, but it didn’t take a genius to realize the white powder on our counter was blow. Evidence of what the three had been doing riddled our coffee table, and I wanted to slap the hell out of my mother. Obviously, she’d learned nothing over the last two weeks and had zero regard for the position she’d put me in. She had no idea that Ryker had worked anything out with Jesse because I hadn’t told her. Hell, I hadn’t even seen her since he’d scooped me up from Swank’s parking lot.

  “Nikki, what are you doing here?” Ma didn’t bother to attempt to conceal her naked form. She turned, still balls deep with the guy she sat on, exposing her breasts to me. Little surprise registered on her face, and if I weren’t mistaken, a slight grin twitched on her lips…like she was proud of the situation around us.

  I balled my fists at my sides, contemplating whether I should run to my room to hide or try to throw these assholes out. One thing I’d learned over the years, cocaine was just as bad as crack. People did stupid shit on both and found strength they wouldn’t normally possess. I couldn’t fend off one, much less both of these pricks, and my mother wouldn’t be any help. If anything, she’d be a hindrance.

  “I live here!” My tone was shrill. If we lived in a better part of town, it would have alerted the neighbors, but if my mother’s animalistic grunts and yells hadn’t garnered the cops, my yelling wouldn’t, either.

  She kept moving on the guy beneath her while talking to me as if this were completely ordinary. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  It was like a horrible train wreck. I needed to look away. I should look away. But I couldn’t bring myself to stop staring at the carnage. My hesitation to make a decision cost me dearly. The man in the kitchen had set down his straw and wiped his nose. He’d narrowed his sights on me, and now he stalked my direction.

  My head swung back and forth between the man approaching me and my mom fucking someone on the couch. “Ma?” I begged for her help, but she just put her hands on her beau’s knees and arched her back. It was the first time I’d seen track marks on my mom’s arms, and it occurred to me that not only was she blitzed out of her ever-loving mind, but she wasn’t doing this for satisfaction. My mom was fucking men for drugs.

  “You’re prettier than your mom said you were.” His lip curled, and I became the object of his desire.

  “Ralph,” my mom moaned his name. The guy below her never stopped moving, and her breath hitched when he hit a spot she seemed to rather enjoy—I nearly vomited. “Leave her…alone.” She was geeked out and wouldn’t be of any help.

  Ralph—I assumed was the man who now stood between me and my escape—was a brute. In any other circumstances, he might have been considered good looking. I assessed him, not out of curiosity but rather self-preservation. He was stacked from his thick neck to his tree-trunk thighs.

  I backed away, trying to put distance between me and what appeared to be my mother’s pimp, but he’d narrowed the gap between us with each step he took that were twice the size of mine. To get to my room, I’d have to get past my mom, and to escape through the door, I’d have to get by Ralph. Neither option held much promise, and the closer he got, the more I froze.

  At the same time I lifted my arms to
push Ralph away, he grabbed my wrists, engulfing them with one of his hands. He pushed me against the wall and used his hips as leverage to keep me there. His excitement rubbed against my pants, and I turned my head when he leaned in to press his lips to mine. The man’s breath was stale and wreaked of day-old onions coupled with moldy garlic. His tongue lapped at my skin when he’d missed my mouth, and the lick up my neck that followed sent my stomach into a lurch. I fought the urge to gag, although maybe I should have just let myself puke on him. Fighting was my natural instinct, but all I managed to do by flailing my arms and kicking my legs was allow him to pull a layer of my protection away.

  The whoosh of the leather jacket falling to the ground foreshadowed the hell I faced. I couldn’t break free from his grasp or the way he clawed at my clothes. I choked on tears when he tore at my shirt, and my voice cracked as I screamed, “No!”

  If my mother made any attempt to help me, I hadn’t seen any evidence of it.

  “Please,” I pleaded, feeling each one of his ten grubby fingers dig into my skin. Their pestilence was like acid searing me.

  I couldn’t think. My mind was unable to formulate a plan of action. Each second that passed, I lost more of the fabric that kept his flesh from mine. My limbs ached from fighting, and I was quickly losing the battle. He tore at the lace of my bra, shredding it and exposing me. He’d managed once again to grip my wrists and used his free hand to work the button on my jeans. In no time, he had my pants at my knees and worked to undo his own.

  My eyelids trembled as hard as I squeezed them shut, but it didn’t stop the reality of what was about to happen…of what my mother was going to let happen. Her moans continued over my cries, oblivious to my pain and heartache.

  The drugs had won her over.

  They now held her heart.

  “Ma…” I mumbled, desperate for her to save me. But my prayer went unanswered.