by Natalie Fox
‘But we aren’t married,’ she told him matter-of-factly. ‘You are about to be married to Simone and you love her so you shouldn’t be making flirty, suggestive remarks to your son’s carer.’
‘What’s love got to do with it?’ he muttered as he brought coffee-cups to the kitchen table and sat down across from her.
‘What are you trying to say?’ Karis asked warily. She didn’t know how to take that. Perhaps he meant that even though he was in love he could still flirt elsewhere. Or that love had nothing to do with marriage.
He smiled thinly. ‘What is love exactly? Do you know? With your history do you know anything about love and how it should be? Everything you told me last night leads me to believe that you are as much in the dark about it all as I am.’
Karis’s green eyes widened. That wasn’t any sort of answer and was all the more disturbing for its lack of clarity. Numbly she reached for the sugar.
‘Only because of the tragedy that happened which caused me to backtrack on my feelings and try to work them out If I fell in love again I think I would be more sure,’ she told him.
‘Only think?’
Karis smiled and stirred her coffee, studying the swirling cream. ‘No, not think, I would definitely be sure. I’ve learnt a lot since Aiden died, self-taught too.’ She lifted her cup and cradled it in both hands and studied him over the rim. ‘So if you know nothing about love how do you know you want to marry Simone?’
Karis purposely didn’t mention Josh’s mother. She sensed that the kitchen setting with packets of cereal and coffee-cups around wasn’t the right scenario for revealing his tragedy, of which she was sure there must be one. ‘Are…are you marrying Simone for Josh?’ she asked suddenly, the thought just coming to her. Although she had asked outright she was not trivialising the subject. It was serious and awful if it was true.
‘The only thing I’m one hundred per cent sure of is that I love my son and want him back in my life and I will go to any lengths to achieve that burning ambition. I’ve been through hell and back and so has he and the time is right for giving him back his stability. My son needs a home. He needs a mother again. He needs me to give him all I’ve failed to give him so far in his short life.’
Karis swallowed hard and sipped at her coffee. She felt quite shaky inside. He would do anything to make his son happy, anything, even at the expense of his own happiness because happiness wasn’t bubbling out of him now when he was talking of marrying Simone. He didn’t love her. Or perhaps he did and was sparing her, Karis’s, feelings because of what she had told him last night. She wanted to know, though.
‘Not that way,’ she told him, shaking her head. ‘You just admitted you don’t know where you are with love and if you aren’t sure you shouldn’t commit yourself to marriage. Love should be positive and—’
‘Should be but isn’t always,’ he interjected. ‘You know that yourself. Last night when we were talking you hesitated; you had to work out that because you had married Aiden you must have loved him. That didn’t come across as very positive.’
She shook her head again, tumbling her hair around her face. ‘That’s different. I suppose at the time I knew for sure but what happened to our marriage made me doubt everything afterwards. I wouldn’t have those doubts again because I’ve learned from them.’ She finished her coffee and put the cup down and looked at him earnestly.
‘Daniel, you haven’t told me about Josh’s mother and I don’t want to hear, not yet, but I know it must be something awful and that you have been through a bad time too. You must have learned something from those bad times. If you don’t love Simone you shouldn’t marry her.’
He was watching her intently now, listening as well, and Karis felt confident enough to go on. ‘I’m an outsider looking in and what I see is you willing to marry someone for the sake of your son. It wouldn’t be right for him, it wouldn’t be right for you and…and as for Simone…’ She met his eyes, almost pleading with him. ‘It isn’t fair to Simone,’ she finished lamely.
A dark brow rose. ‘And how would you know it wouldn’t be fair to Simone?’
Oh, this was getting too deep for her. Not once had he said he had any feelings for Simone, but she was a woman and she must love him. Was she hoping that in time he might learn to love her? Or was it something more mercenary? Was she marrying him for security, for wealth? She knew nothing, of course; this was just more conjecture on her part.
‘I…I don’t understand you at all,’ she admitted with a small shrug.
‘You don’t understand that I want the best for my son?’
He held her eyes but Karis looked away. She got up to release Tara from her chair and put her down to the tiled floor of the kitchen.
‘You won’t be giving him the best,’ she retorted. ‘It’ll be second best and he doesn’t deserve that.’ She turned and glared at him. ‘He needs it all, Daniel, no half measures. He needs you, his father, he needs a mother that he can love and if you don’t love her what chance has he got? Don’t you know anything about your son? Don’t you know anything about love and marriage and children and family life?’
His eyes darkened and slowly he stood up. ‘I know about as much as you do,’ he grated darkly. ‘Don’t lecture to me about something you have failed so dismally in yourself.’
Oh, the pain of that. It was like a stab wound into her very soul. Fury welled inside her and she wanted to hurt him back but with what? She drew in a breath. ‘You bas—’
There was a dull thud and then a wail from Tara as she tumbled against a chair, bumping her head. Daniel was the first to reach her, sweeping her up from the floor and into his arms.
‘Sweetheart, gymnastics at your tender age!’ He smoothed her head and jiggled her in his arms and soon Tara was laughing.
Karis watched, her fury with him forgotten, concern for her daughter sweeping it aside. She had expected Tara to scream for her but she hadn’t. She was quite happy to be comforted by Daniel. Total acceptance from Tara, Karis thought ruefully as her daughter clung happily to his neck, another confirmation that ignorance was bliss at times. The more she got to know Daniel Kennedy herself, the more complex she found him. There were times she could hug him because of his enormous patience with his son and then times she could easily thump him for something he’d said to her. Did he mean to be hurtful or was he so wrapped up in his own stress he didn’t think before speaking?
There was a sound from the doorway onto the verandah and Karis turned to see Josh watching the whole spectacle. Karis clenched her fists nervously, her heart thudding helplessly. What on earth would Josh’s reaction be to seeing his father nursing Tara?
‘Tara’s just had a fall,’ Daniel told his son. ‘She’s fine, though—bounced like a rubber ball.’
‘She’s always doing that,’ Josh commented without interest. ‘I’m hungry.’
‘Feed me or else,’ Karis joked, quick to get her reeling senses together for the sake of Josh.
‘You or me?’ Daniel asked, setting Tara down on the floor again where she happily toddled off to her toy box in the corner. He straightened up and looked at her, as if waiting for instructions.
Crumbs, was he taking this integration into his son’s life seriously or what? New man he certainly wasn’t but…
‘Can you cook?’ Karis asked, a slight twinkle brightening her eyes.
‘I made the supper last night,’ he reminded her.
‘That was more of an assembly job,’ she told him, grinning. ‘OK, we’ll give you a trial. Josh likes scrambled eggs. Not runny, though.’
‘I want Karis to make my breakfast,’ Josh put in firmly, and went to the fridge for eggs.
“That’s right, Josh; cooking is women’s work,’ Daniel remarked but winked at Karis as he said it. He then excused himself, not giving a reason but Karis suspected it was to go over to the main house to see Simone.
And as Karis made Josh’s breakfast she found she missed him, which was quite absurd since this was only t
he first morning. Then she pushed away the thought of Daniel rushing over to see the woman he was going to marry and of course whom he really loved, because all that talk this morning meant nothing. And she comforted herself with one very warm, pleasing thought: Josh hadn’t stuttered once this morning.
It didn’t last, though. Josh stuttered his way hesitantly through his reading lesson before lunch.
‘Well done, Josh,’ Daniel enthused. ‘I’m truly amazed. I’m sure I couldn’t read so well at your age.’
Karis’s heart squeezed. The boy had done badly and yet Daniel was praising him to the hilt. He really was trying and it was very touching.
‘I think that’s enough for the day,’ Daniel went on, stretching his golden arms above his head.
They were taking the lesson out on the verandah while Saffron clattered away in the background, going about her cleaning duties with more noise than usual, obviously showing her disapproval at her revised duty roster.
Karis smiled knowingly at her as she came for them with her broom, shoving it around the wicker chairs briskly, a not too subtle hint that they were all in her way. Karis gathered up Tara before she got swept away too.
‘What do you want to do now?’ Karis asked Daniel, shifting Tara to her hip.
‘What do you usually do at this time of day?’
‘Swim in the creek,’ Josh interjected. Funny how he didn’t stutter when he was in a demanding mood, Karis thought.
‘Good idea. Why don’t we take our lunch with us and—’ Saffron let out a tut-tut which Daniel ignored ‘—explore the island on the way to the creek? I’ve never looked around it properly. Will we need transport?’
‘With the children, yes,’ Karis told him. ‘It’s too hot—’
‘Leave Tara with me,’ Saffron butted in. ‘She’s only a babe and—’
‘Would you like to come with us, Saffron?’ Daniel unexpectedly suggested.
Saffron’s eyes widened and Karis’s heart thudded. There was a tense silence as Saffron weighed up the suggestion. What was Daniel thinking of? First he had cut her hours so as to keep her out of the way and now he was suggesting she accompany them on an outing.
‘No, sir. I don’t think so,’ she said at last. ‘I don’t like that old motor.’ She paused to lean on her broom and then smiled such a big smile that Karis’s heart rate returned to normal. ‘You go without me. I’ll get the food ready for you. Come on, Josh, you can help.’ She propped up her broom and took Josh’s hand and led him away.
‘Thank you, Saffron,’ Daniel called out to her. ‘And do food for Tara; we’ll take her with us. Josh will like that’
‘Yes, sir,’ Saffron called, and though she didn’t turn Karis knew she was smiling.
‘What was that all about?’ Karis asked, wide-eyed, when they had disappeared into the kitchen along the verandah. She didn’t understand this man at times.
‘Diplomacy,’ he told her with a smile. ‘I thought about what you said. Saffron is a part of Josh’s life.’
‘But not a part of his future,’ she reminded him.
He nodded. ‘True, but too many upheavals in his life too soon isn’t such a good idea, as you rightly said. Softly, softly, eh? And, talking of softly, softly, I’m deeply sorry about that remark I made just before Tara had her fall. It was totally uncalled for and I regret it very much.’
Karis met and held his dark eyes, which were warmer than she had ever seen them before. The remark had hurt and it must have shown for it had troubled him into an apology. She felt a peculiar stirring inside her. He was human, she was beginning to realise, and making an enormous effort for his son’s sake, but was this feeling inside her all to do with his caring for Josh? It shouldn’t be anything else but…
‘Apology accepted,’ she said brightly. ‘I’ll think of a way to get back at you so don’t go all soft and complaisant on me. Some chance,’ she added with a laugh. ‘Right, we’d better get ready, then.’
‘Yes, we had,’ he said softly, still holding her eyes. He got up, breaking the eye contact that was making her feel very edgy. ‘The motor. Is it that clapped-out old Mini Moke I’ve seen parked round the back?’
Karis nodded with a smile. ‘I’m afraid so. Fiesta put it at my disposal when I arrived.’
‘“Disposal” sounds an apt word for it. Do you use it often?’
‘Hardly at all. The island really is very small. Everything we need is almost here on the doorstep. The creek is within fifteen minutes’ amble and the beach is just there and there are the gardens of course.’
‘What a tight little life you have led,’ he teased.
Karis shrugged. ‘It’s paradise if you want it to be.’
‘I’m sure it is,’ he murmured, none too enthusiastically. ‘I’ll take a look at the dustbin on wheels while you get the things.’ He turned away and Karis stood watching him as he walked down the verandah steps and went round the back of the house. In shorts and T-shirt he looked so different from when he had first arrived, all designer chic in silk and linen, with a face as long as a fiddle. He was devastatingly good-looking in whatever he wore, though, more gorgeous now because he appeared relaxed, although Karis knew that underneath he was still very deeply concerned for his son.
She let out a small sigh; for what she wasn’t sure. ‘He’ll have to shoo the chickens out of the Moke before we get going, sweetheart,’ she murmured to Tara, and her daughter giggled and clung to her.
‘Where will you be taking Josh to when the time comes?’ Karis asked when they were sprawled on the white sands of a small cove on the other side of the island.
Saffron had packed two enormous sun umbrellas and Daniel had dug them deep into the sand. Tara slept under one, flat out in a cool, skimpy sundress, exhausted after Josh had splashed around with her in the warm, shallow water that lapped the isolated beach. They had eaten the picnic Saffron had prepared for them—small pastries and a box of salad and lots of fruit, mangoes in particular, which Josh loved.
Josh was further along the beach now, laying out a collection of shells he had gathered with the help of his father. Karis had watched them both, Josh quite stiff with tension, only occasionally speaking, stuttering again, Daniel quite stiff-shouldered too. Daniel had come back to the shade of the umbrellas, wisely realising that at times Josh was best left alone.
‘I’m not sure yet,’ Daniel said thoughtfully. He sat up and clutched his knees, staring out to sea. ‘I’ve sold off my previous homes—a house on the Keys in Florida and a town house in New York.’
Karis gulped and twirled her index finger in the sugary sand. That sounded like serious money.
‘When I take Josh back I’ll have to make a decision about where to settle,’ he went on. ‘Wherever is best for him.’
‘What about Simone?’
‘Josh is my first consideration,’ he said tightly, still gazing out to sea.
‘Doesn’t she have a voice?’ Karis persisted. Poor Simone if she didn’t.
‘As I said, Josh comes first. If Simone doesn’t go along with my decision…’ He didn’t finish, just let his words trail off.
‘You won’t marry her,’ Karis finished for him.
He didn’t answer but then she supposed he thought her pushy again. She had made it quite plain how she felt about him marrying Simone for Josh’s sake.
‘So what do you do?’ she asked, realising how little she knew about him.
‘For a living?’
‘Yes, for a living,’ she stated wearily. It was like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. She wasn’t asking anything unreasonable, after all, so why the reluctance to answer her queries? Was he afraid of giving too much of himself away? Losing his reserve, which was perhaps very important to him?
‘Consultancy. Financial. I’ve built the business up so I can work from anywhere,’ he volunteered after a long pause and then he turned to face her. ‘Anything else you’d like to know?’ His tone wasn’t without sarcasm.
Karis sat up and coiled her a
rms around her knees. She was sitting slightly behind him so he had to turn to give her his full attention, when he wanted to.
‘I’m not being nosy. I’m just interested to know what Josh’s future holds. Where he’ll be living, what sort of life he’ll have when he leaves here.’
‘Sure you’re not wondering what sort of life I’ll be living with Simone?’
‘If I had anything to do with it you wouldn’t have a life with Simone,’ she said flintily, and went to get up but he swivelled and caught her ankle, making her flop back awkwardly in the sand. Suddenly he was almost on top of her, pinning her down with his body half across hers. She wore a bikini, he swimming shorts. It was inevitable that naked flesh struck naked flesh at some point.
The contact was electric, heat on heat She tensed, her whole body tightening under his, her nerve-endings sparking like small flames of fire. His eyes glittered teasingly and as he parted his lips she thought he was going to kiss her. He didn’t. He spoke, sort of gravelly, his breath warm on her face.
‘And for what reason?’
She couldn’t even think what she had said. The shock of him lying across her this intimate way was…shocking. Simone…If she had anything to do with it he wouldn’t have a life with her.
‘B-because of Josh,’ she breathed quickly and heatedly. ‘And because of Josh get off me before he sees us!’ She struggled but he held her firmly, pinning her arms above her head as she lay sprawled beneath him. Her eyes were huge as she stared up at him, wondering what he was going to say or do next.
‘Not even a little bit of reason for yourself?’ he drawled suggestively.
Oh, this teasing suggestion was totally out of place and very much uncalled for. At times when she had his back against the wall with her curiosity he would come back with something like this, a tease, to wind her up and divert her.
‘No, not for myself. I certainly don’t care for myself,’ she grated furiously. ‘Why should I? What the hell have I got to do with your life?’
‘At present quite a hell of a lot’
‘Oh, yes?’
