by Natalie Fox
Inwardly trembling, hands visibly shaking, Karis glared at Saffron. She wanted to tear into her for that, to cry that she should know her place and mind her own business, but she couldn’t Saffron had been too good a friend in the past.
‘You’re impossible,’ was all she could feebly mutter before storming off along the verandah. Everyone was impossible!
Karis pulled off her bikini and wrapped a batik sarong around her before throwing herself on her bed and beating hell out of her pillow. What was she doing here? She had come to escape and now…now she wanted to escape again, run for her life because suddenly that life was more impossible than ever. She loved a man she couldn’t have, she loved a child she couldn’t have…
‘Oh, no,’ she moaned, in complete and utter misery. I don’t love Daniel, she reasoned determinedly, giving her pillow another beating. I’m simply emotionally torn by the whole situation, wanting the best for Josh, and…and the best for Josh is to be with his father and that is how it is going to be and there is no place for me in their lives.
Karis sat up and hugged her knees tightly and stared blindly at the white walls of her bedroom. All-knowing Saffron had seen the way she looked at him. Were her feelings so open to scrutiny? Oh, she would have to be so, so careful because if Saffron could see then Daniel surely might and that would mean trouble.
But Saffron couldn’t have read anything in the way Daniel looked at her. Daniel saw her the way Fiesta saw her—as Josh’s carer. He might have teased her, he might have kissed her, all little ploys to keep her sweet and in her place, but Saffron hadn’t been witness to any of those games. No, Saffron was wrong to think he looked at her in any special way. So very wrong.
‘What’s wrong?’
Karis jumped as if she had been shot. Daniel stood in the doorway, barefoot, wearing shorts and with a cool silk shirt hanging loosely over the top, his dark, glossy hair tousled as if he’d just rubbed it with a towel. In a fleeting second it struck Karis that he too was going native lately. She jumped up from the bed and smoothed down her sarong. ‘I’d better see to the children,’ she muttered huniedly.
‘Forget the children for a minute. What’s wrong? Saffron said you’d gone to your room vexed.’
I’ll kill her, Karis ground out inwardly. If anyone was getting above themselves it was Saffron. Good God, if she told Daniel what she had said to her…
‘Of course I’m not vexed,’ she denied vehemently. ‘I have a headache, that’s all. The rains are coming—’
‘You don’t look in pain.’
‘What do you know?’ she snapped at him, and went to brush past him.
He stopped her, grasped at her arm and swung her to face him. His face was dark with anger.
‘I know enough to know you aren’t suffering from a headache. Now give; what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing’s wrong,’ she insisted angrily. ‘Can’t I have five minutes to myself without the whole world questioning it?’
His brow furrowed. ‘Are you still mad at me for teasing you about being jealous of Simone?’
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Daniel. I forgot that hours ago.’
‘This is all getting too much for you, isn’t it? Me and Josh, the extra work involved, the child’s tantrums—’
‘No, Daniel,’ she blurted. Her shoulders softened under his grip. ‘Everything is fine,’ she assured him, her anger abated now. ‘You and Josh, you’re doing just fine, and…and—’
She swallowed hard. The very nearness of him was making her crumble. His warm hands, so firm and yet gentle, were still holding her shoulders and it was very nearly too much for her. She wanted to tear away but couldn’t because of this awful weakness melting her very bones. Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at him, willing herself to be strong and somehow get out of this room before she gave something away.
‘I’m…I’m just tired.’
Bone-weary if the truth be known. It flooded her now, the sheer exhaustion of battling with her emotions. Every day since he had come she had waged some sort of war with her senses. He was right, it was getting too much for her, but his reasons weren’t right. It wasn’t to do with him and Josh, just him.
She stepped back, afraid now that he might see what she was fighting to control.
‘I don’t believe you,’ he told her. ‘I think it’s me troubling you.’
Her breath caught in her throat. She held it there. He couldn’t know.
‘It’s what I told you last night,’ he added.
Her breath came back. She let it out with a small explosion. ‘Look, I didn’t care about that trip with Simone—’
He grasped her again, nearly shook her this time. ‘I’m not talking about Simone. I’m talking about what I told you about Josh’s mother and my marriage. It’s affected you—’
‘It has not!’ Karis retorted, though she was secretly relieved he thought that was what was bothering her. She struggled free of him and stood her ground in front of him. ‘The past is the past, Daniel, at times to be forgotten for the sake of sanity. Honestly, did you really think after all I’ve been through in my past I wouldn’t understand? That says a lot for me, doesn’t it? Heavens, if it had affected me I wouldn’t have been out swimming with you in the creek this morning, especially after our row.’
‘And we had a good time,’ he uttered with a very small smile, ‘all of us, and then suddenly you go all vexed—’
‘You’re beginning to sound like the locals.’ She laughed at him, trying so very hard to play everything down.
‘I’m beginning to sound like someone caring too much,’ he admitted softly. ‘Your moods affect me, Karis; they affect everyone. You are one powerful lady if you did but know it’
Karis nearly laughed out loud at that but she wasn’t allowed any form of amusement. His mouth suddenly swooped down to hers and his lips on hers were crushing in their intensity. He pulled her against his hard body, shocking her with the arousal it betrayed. Deeper and deeper went the kiss, draining her of all sane will in her body. He was so powerful and she…she wasn’t powerful at all, nothing but soft submission, fighting it but hopelessly losing it.
She felt his hand move up to her chest, her all-betraying breasts straining against the flimsy cotton of her sarong. Her head swam with the dizzy sensation of having them caressed, his thumb running over the raised nubs, driving her wild with despair. She wanted him to stop the ecstatic assault and yet she wanted more.
Her lips parted, weakly allowing him an intimacy she knew she ought to stop. Her whole body flamed in his arms and he knew and groaned softly against her as if he too was pulling up a battle that was hopelessly lost. She felt a soft tug at the knot of her sarong and then pressure, his fingers cupping her naked flesh, moulding her in his hand—soft, soft pressure of electrifying intensity.
A small moan escaped her swollen lips and his mouth moved away, down, down the long column of her heated throat to the perfumed hollow at its base. She drew in her lower lip as his mouth brushed the sensitive rise of her breasts and then his tongue snaked tantalisingly across her nipple and she felt the heat of desire spread to every nerve-ending in her body.
With a sob she pulled back, grasping at his shoulders to hold him off. The sarong slid down to the floor between them and the panic of being naked and so vulnerable in front of him powered the last vestige of strength to her melting bones.
She let him go, panic darkening her eyes. She tried to squat to retrieve the scrap of cloth that would save her dignity but he caught her wrists. His eyes were heavy with the desire she had so abruptly tried to put an end to, his mouth tight and controlled.
‘No,’ he breathed. ‘Let me see you.’
‘No, Daniel,’ she whispered desperately, her eyes wide and pleading. ‘This is all wrong and…please, no.’
Her plea went unanswered as he shifted her a pace back from him and spread her arms wide so he could devour every inch of her heated body with his hungry eyes. The scrutiny was so painful that Karis close
d herself off from it. She squeezed her eyes shut and a clamp came around her heart, holding it back, not allowing it to race as crazily as it wanted.
He let go of her wrists and touched her then, both hands smoothing down her body, down to her waist, the slight rounding of her hips, the feather-light caresses of admiration tingling her flesh till she was swamped by a desire to fall into his arms and let whatever might be be.
‘I repeat myself,’ he murmured throatily, ‘and make no apologies for it. Your husband was a fool. He should have been overjoyed you were carrying his child. He had it all and let it go.’
Karis fluttered open her eyes and saw something that filled her with such awe that she didn’t know whether to allow fear or joy to enter her heart. His eyes held hers, the hunger in them so starkly apparent it brought shivers to her rigid spine. He wanted her and there was sheer determination in the steely glint that told her he would do everything in his power to satisfy that hunger.
She parted her lips, not sure of what was going to come out but needing to make some sort of protest or even utter a warning because this was all wrong. He stilled her lips with a thumb, the small, soothing pressure stopping her from uttering a single breathy word.
‘But you won’t escape me, Karis, and you won’t try because you don’t want to.’
Did he expect a denial? She stepped back then—a denial, if not spoken. Bravely she scooped her sarong from the floor and had it around her body before he could stop her. Though he didn’t try. He didn’t have to because he had seen it all. Her nakedness, her vulnerability, her weakness, and very probably her heated desire for him. She needed time and he was going to give it to her but he didn’t know that he was very wrong. She would escape him. She couldn’t get off this island but she could escape him emotionally. All she had to do was remind herself that his fiancée was but a few hundred yards from here, his son closer, her daughter closer still. She had her defences, all three of them if all else failed.
‘I have to see to the children,’ she murmured, trying to bring some authority to her tone but suspecting she had failed miserably because he simply smiled at her.
‘Of course, the children. Let’s not forget the children.’
He was gone before she could fully analyse that slightly mocking tone to his voice. Had he actually struck into her mind, reading those defences she was preparing to use? Impossible. He wasn’t psychic.
‘You’ve done what?’
Karis gaped in astonishment. She’d busied herself all afternoon, doing trivial jobs around the cottage while the children were taking their siesta. Anything and everything to keep her mind off Daniel Kennedy. Saffron had gone back to her own cottage. Daniel had gone somewhere, possibly to see Simone off on her fishing trip because he had lied to Josh and the trip wasn’t off. Now he was back, smiling at her across the kitchen after landing another of his bombshells.
‘Saffron asked my permission and I gave it because it falls in very nicely with my plans for the evening. The children will enjoy the party and be in safe hands and we are going to be free for the evening.’
‘Free to do what?’ she asked idiotically, so taken aback she couldn’t think straight.
‘To go out’
‘Out? Out where? There’s nowhere to go!’ she blustered. The heat and humidity had surely gone to his head.
‘I thought a barbecue on the beach would be nice. Just us and the stars and the moon.’
Karis turned her back on him, making a poor job of filling the ice trays for the freezer. Her hands were shaking so badly the water spilled every time she moved. This was a conspiracy, inspired by Saffron, no doubt, to get them alone together. How could she have gone behind her back and arranged this with Daniel? It was cruel. And why was Daniel taking all this so far, bewitching her with a promise of a night of stars? He was cruel, using her…yes, using her because Simone wasn’t here.
‘Tara isn’t going to no party,’ she fumed.
‘That’s a double negative,’ he responded, and she knew he would still be grinning.
She whirled on him. ‘Oh, excuse my grammar,’ she grated sarcastically. ‘I stand corrected. Tara isn’t going to the party. And here’s another double negative. No, no!’
He came and took the ice tray from her and slammed it down into the sink. He wasn’t smiling any more.
‘I won’t take no for an answer, Karis. If you want to get stroppy about this I’ll remind you I pay the wages around here.’
‘Back to that again, are we?’ she sniped. ‘Can’t you think of anything more original? Anyway, you can’t tell me what to do with my own child!’
‘No, I can’t But Josh is going to the party because I say so,’ he emphasised firmly. ‘And Josh wants to go and he’ll want Tara to go and Saffron wants Tara to go—’
‘I don’t want her to go and I’m her mother in case you have forgotten!’ Karis stated firmly, her eyes determined.
‘You don’t want her to go because you are using her as an excuse not to be alone with me for the night’
Karis thought she was going to explode with indignation. Yes, very true but how dared he know that? Her eyes changed from determined to incredulous, as if the very idea were impossible.
‘I’m right, Karis,’ Daniel insisted. ‘You knew about this party a long while ago and didn’t object. Saffron said you had agreed.’
Damn! She had forgotten and now here she was making a scene because she thought it had been a plan cooked up by Saffron to get them alone, really alone together. She remembered Saffron had mentioned her little niece’s birthday party arrangements before Daniel had arrived on the island. The staff often had parties in their own cottage complex, wonderful parties with singing and dancing and calypso. The West Indians adored their children and the parties were always fun. Josh had been to one before and it had been one of the few occasions when he had socialised well.
‘I’d forgotten,’ she reluctantly conceded, and lowered her lashes and hoped that it would be excuse enough for him and he wouldn’t pursue the idea that she was objecting on the grounds of being afraid of spending an evening alone with him now that Simone was out of the way.
‘We need some time on our own, Karis,’ he told her softly.
Karis widened her eyes in objection, heat rushing to her face.
‘You sound like a husband and a father and I wish you hadn’t said that, Daniel,’ she rushed out. ‘Because it very much sounds as if because Simone is out of the way you feel free to…to—’
‘To pursue you?’ he interjected quickly, his eyes burning. ‘Is that what you think—that I’ve got Simone out of the way so I can pursue you?’
‘Haven’t you?’
His eyes narrowed dangerously and he stepped towards her. Karis backed off but came up against a work surface far too soon. She gripped it behind her, willing it to give her strength if she needed it. He stopped in front of her, dangerously close.
‘I think it is time you accepted that there is something between us to be pursued, Karis,’ he breathed, as if it was a warning.
Karis ran her tongue over her bottom lip. He had this effect on her, rushing her nerves till she barely had the ability to swallow.
‘Tonight, under the stars, you might begin to realise that some things can’t be fought. If I can put Simone out of my mind then so can you.’
But she wasn’t him, someone without scruples. He talked of the woman he was considering marriage to as if she didn’t matter!
‘No, I can’t,’ she uttered at last, lifting her chin. ‘You’re nothing but an opportunist. It’s all worked out beautifully for you, hasn’t it? This children’s party tonight, Simone sailing the high seas a million starry miles away from here. Well, out of sight, out of mind doesn’t apply to me, Daniel. I recognise that you have problems with your relationship with Simone but I’m not the way out for you.’
His dark brows came up in surprise. ‘You think I’m using you to rid myself of Simone? Playing some sort of playoff game?’
/> Actually it hadn’t crossed her mind. The statement had just come out instinctively as some form of defence, the last straw to clutch at.
‘I’m not clever or devious enough to think that way, Daniel. But the fact that you jumped on it so heatedly suggests the idea had crossed your mind.’
He laughed, one of those derisory laughs weighted with disbelief.
‘You have an uncanny knack of turning the tables on me, Karis, sweetheart. But let me put you straight on a few matters. I’m not devious either. I’ve told you before that Simone and I have an understanding. If things don’t work out we go our own ways.’
Karis gripped the surface behind her. Her insides felt curiously wobbly.
‘And…and what is that supposed to mean?’ she asked in a small voice.
‘It means exactly what I said. If it doesn’t work out we go our separate ways. Marriage is a tricky business, as you well know. The romantic notion that it is based on love doesn’t guarantee its success. There is far more to it. In spite of what you have seen of us together Simone and I had a lot going for us. We have known each other a long time. I knew her before I knew my wife. Both of us have had disastrous relationships before and we’d talked all this through. We knew the pitfalls. This trip served a double purpose. It was mainly for Josh and the rest was for Simone and I to make a firm decision on our future together.’
Karis’s breath wouldn’t come. She felt all choked up inside. This was further confirmation that he didn’t love Simone and now it was sounding as if she didn’t love him either. A marriage of convenience and poor little Josh in the middle of it all. It was unthinkable.
Her breath came back and the tightness in her chest eased. ‘What sort of people are you?’ she breathed hotly. ‘You don’t love each other and yet you are considering marriage. You have an arrangement that if it doesn’t work out you walk away. It sounds more like a business deal than a relationship.’
‘I felt that there was no other option at the time,’ he told her gravely. ‘I wanted to make it good for Josh. Don’t you understand the motivation behind it? My son is the most important person to me. I owe him and sometimes personal sacrifices have to be made. Like you, I have ideals, but sometimes they are unobtainable and you have to take the next best thing. Simone and I could have worked it out to make a life for us all but—’
