by Vi Lily
There’s always a taxi service, but they’d also have to come from Clemens and it would cost a fortune to get one out here. I don’t want to spend any more of my money than necessary, because I have no idea what’s in the future.
My lip curls. I have no one to call, and the stupid phone reminds me of Alex, of the time when he cared what happened to me and didn’t think of me as a damned moocher.
Jerk.
I toss the phone into the woods, then hitch my purse up on my shoulder, cringing when I feel a slight pinch in my side. Thankfully, my ribs are almost completely healed, but every once in a while, I get a pain that kind of freaks me out, thinking I’ve reinjured them. Now, I think it’s just due to the weight of my purse, thanks to my water bottle and my school tablet.
The crossroad that leads out of town toward Clemens is about three blocks ahead of me and I head in that direction without any real plan. There’s a motel on that road, but I’m not sure if they’d rent to a seventeen-year-old. Especially one without a driver’s license or credit card.
I reach the road and turn right, toward Clemens. Again, no plan, no idea what I’m doing. The pain of betrayal is driving me now, and its only plan seems to be getting away. Running from the anguish behind me.
The problem is, all that pain is trotting right along beside me.
I’m probably three miles outside of town when I realize how stupid I am. My clothes are still damp and now the sun is getting low on the horizon. While the snow is finally behind us, the nighttime temperatures are still dipping to near freezing. And I don’t even have my coat.
I am officially a moron.
The sound of a car coming up behind me forces me to make a decision — dart into the trees and hide, or stick my thumb out. I’ve never hitchhiked in my life and it’s a seriously scary option, but it’s either freeze my butt off out here in the wilderness, or take my chances with getting picked up by some pervy freak.
I snort to myself — after the day I’ve had, and doing what I did to my pervy freak brother, I think I can handle myself.
Hopefully.
I turn as the car approaches and put my thumb out as I walk backwards. I’ve only seen hitchhikers in movies, so I have no idea if there’s some sort of protocol or proper technique or whatever, but it works when the car starts to slow.
It pulls up alongside me and the driver reaches over to open the passenger door, leaning down so I can see his face. He’s not smiling; in fact, he looks pissed.
“Get in.”
Chapter 8
Alex
H IS MOM STAYED long enough to help Alex get his act together and to see him graduate. After she showed up and went through a gamut of emotions — sadness over Steve’s death, anger that Alex had let him move in, sadness again, then anger at Steve for his choices, then happiness that Alex had a girl he cared about — she and Alex had managed to make amends and talk about the past with Edward Johansen.
Both were shocked to discover all the things they hadn’t known were going on in the Johansen household.
His mom told him that she was happy about him getting his act together. Happy that he hadn’t made the stupid choices his brother had. And how she was proud that he was going to graduate.
That was the only thing keeping him from dropping out of school and searching the country for Ari. He still couldn’t believe she’d just left without a word, leaving no sign of where she’d gone.
Gwen hadn’t been helpful at all regarding what had happened that day, only giving him the same information that Vato already had. The people in the Academy’s office wouldn’t give him any information, like whether she’d called in to school or what. They just said that she wasn’t disenrolled.
The police had no information, no record of her at all, and since he wasn’t related Alex couldn’t even file a missing person report. He did find out from the police that her brother had been taken to the hospital in Clemens for extensive injuries he claimed he’d gotten when someone broke into his house.
When the police had gone to the mansion in Oak Place to investigate, they’d discovered enough drugs to indict Ari’s brother on trafficking charges. As soon as he recovered from the injuries his sister gave him — and Alex was still finding it hard to believe that his tiny little girlfriend had managed to do so much damage — he was looking at a long stint in the state prison.
Alex knew that he was on the verge of losing it, of taking off to find Ari, so his mom suggested advertising on radio stations in the area. It was ridiculously expensive to do so, but his mom had paid for it. And she’d even told Alex that she’d pay for him to go to college, since it was way too late for him to use his scholarship offers. As it was, he’d have to take a year off because it was way too late to apply anywhere.
They ran ads three times a day for two weeks on twenty-two different stations in a variety of genres in a three-state area, asking for any information on Ariel Kane. His mom even put up the money for a fifty-thousand-dollar reward.
So far, they’d had a lot of calls from people claiming they knew Ari, or knew where she was, but when Alex asked them to describe her unusual eye color, no one had come even close.
He then put obituaries for Steve in as many newspapers as he could find in the same three-state area, detailing when and where the memorial service was going to be. He new if Ari saw that, she’d be there. She’d been worried over the memorial ever since he’d died; it was one of the things she’d cried over.
But she hadn’t shown.
It ate at him for some reason, the way she’d mourned his brother. While he knew he was being a selfish dick, Alex just couldn’t get over the depression she’d fallen into afterwards. Even though she’d told him she loved him, it seemed like she was in love with Steve too. It had made him back off, to shove those emotions that had he’d just started to let show back down. He’d gone back to being Alex the Crusher.
But now… he’d fall on his knees in front of her and kiss her feet, beg her to take him back, tell her that he loved her, that nothing meant anything anymore since she’d been gone.
That she was his whole world.
Hell, he’d even guilt her into coming back using Ogre as an excuse if he had to. The poor dog had been moping around the house for a month. And once again, Alex knew exactly how he felt.
He refused to think that anything had happened to Ari. He thought he would somehow know if she was… he could never finish that thought. She was still alive, he knew. She was just confused, mixed up, probably pissed off at him.
And somehow he knew it was all because he’d never admitted that he loved her too.
Graduation ceremonies were in three days, but Alex couldn’t bring himself to care. His mom had taken care of everything once she’d found out that he’d never ordered his cap and gown, since he didn’t think he was even going to graduate at the time. She had wanted to plan a party, but Alex didn’t feel much like celebrating.
If Ari wasn’t there, he wouldn’t be any kind of company.
He knew that she was the only thing that kept him stable, kept him from wanting to hurt people. Since wrestling season had ended, he hadn’t had an outlet for his anger and after Ari left, that anger came back with a vengeance.
And now it was coupled with intense frustration.
The day after graduation, he and his mom were going to fly to New Guinea where she’d left her yacht. His first order of business was to get rid of her worthless boyfriend, then he was going to travel with his mom to Hawaii where she had a house, then he’d take a plane back home.
And try to figure out the rest of his life.
At least he’d have a home. His mom reneged on her threat since he’d straightened out and told him he could stay in the house as long as he wanted. Of course, if he did go to college, he’d have to move since the closest university was over a hundred miles away. But for the meantime, he wanted to make sure Ari could find him.
If she wanted to.
God, how he wanted her to.
Chapter 9
Ari
O NCE AGAIN, I find myself indebted to a man for saving me. And, once again, I’m indebted to a man who won’t let me do a single thing to pay him back.
I’d almost cried in relief when I saw it was Tino — “Vato” for everyone else — who’d pulled up next to me on that lonely road to Clemens. He’d been heading home when he saw me and was going to stop just because he saw a small, young girl on a lonely road and figured she needed help. But when recognized me, he’d gotten pissed.
“Why didn’t you call me?” he yelled at me once we were heading toward his beautiful little cabin tucked in the woods between Bearing and Clemens. “You know I would have helped you!” I’d cringed; I wasn’t afraid of him at all, but I was feeling kind of stupid at that point.
“I don’t know; I wasn’t thinking right. Honestly, I never even thought of calling you,” I admitted. “And I threw my phone away.”
I told him all that had happened that day, how I was worried I was in trouble with the police, and how it was possible I’d actually killed my brother. But that was stuff I didn’t even care about. I told him the whole story without even a hitch in my voice.
But I broke down sobbing when I told him what I’d heard Alex say to his mom.
Tino had commiserated with me, and then he’d driven me to his cabin in the woods and proceeded to take over my life.
First, he called the Academy pretending to be my dad and told them I’d be finishing the rest of the school year from home, which was easy considering all our class curricula was online. I figured it was probably a good idea that I stay away from Athole, anyway, considering Raine was next on my list of butt-kickings.
After that, he took me to get a new phone and then my driver’s license. He charmed the lady at the DMV so much that she didn’t even ask for his i.d. when he’d signed off as the adult, and then we stopped at a car lot and he bought me a car. A freaking nice car. When we left the car lot, I followed him to the bank, where he proceeded to open a bank account for me.
Of course, I’d argued like crazy. I mean, it’s too much, all that he’s done for me. But Tino insisted that his grandfather has more money than he could ever spend and that he shared it all with his kids and grandkids, and they now had more than they could spend. He said his grandfather’s only request was that the recipients never be stingy, and if they had a friend in need, to use the money to help them.
I guess I’m that friend in need.
I’m turning eighteen in just a few more weeks, and Tino said he wants to make sure I’m set to do “whatever it is I want to do with my life.” But he also made it clear that he wants me to stay with him for as long as I want.
It’s so nice to know that I’m wanted like that. Tino is an amazing guy, really. He’s everything a girl could want for a boyfriend.
But he’s not Alex.
Apparently, Ariel Renee Kane is into grouchy, grumbly, damaged ogres, be they human or canine. I must have some sort of fiend fetish.
Once school finished, I found that I’m bored. Tino’s cabin is spotless, there isn’t a weed to be found within twenty yards of his cabin, and I’m obsessively watching cooking shows to learn new dishes. Tino swears he’s gained twenty pounds since I moved in, but if he has, it’s all muscle.
The guy is seriously ripped.
He works out all the time now that we’re done with school for the year, using the back bedroom that he’s converted into a personal gym. I’ve been using it too and finding that I’m getting a lot stronger, which is great. You know, just in case I need to bash someone’s skull in with a bong again.
A girl can never be too prepared.
Four days a week, Tino goes to Clemens to work out at his grandpa’s gym. Sometimes I go with him so I’m not stuck alone, but it’s usually not worth the company, since the guys at the gym seem weirded out to have a chick in the gym who isn’t a boxer or MMA fighter. And if they pay me too much attention, Tino loses it and ends up fighting… outside of the ring.
Sometimes I’ll go and sit in Doc’s office. It’s nice to visit with him. I never had a grandfather and my own father was so distant that I’ve never really had a normal man in my life. Doc tells me funny stories from his life, and some sad ones too, from his time in Vietnam.
Lately, he’s been hinting hard at me getting together with Tino. He thinks it’s sweet that I call his grandson that, too, saying that was what his wife always called her grandson, “God rest her soul.” Whenever Doc talks of his Elena, he tears up. It’s adorable, the love he has for his deceased wife.
But it makes me miss Alex terribly.
I told Doc that I was in love with Alex, that I couldn’t even consider being with another guy, but he keeps insisting that it was “puppy love, a crush,” and that I wouldn’t know what real love was like because I never dated anyone, never “tested the waters.” That may be true, but, again, I can’t even imagine being with anyone else.
Alex is all I think about.
Tino has resolved himself to my feelings, too. At first, he’d hit on me, gently, making innuendoes here and there. I thought he was just trying to bring me out of my depression, but when he grabbed me by the hips one night while we were doing dishes and told me that he’d been attracted to me from the first day he’d met me, I had to put a stop to that real quick.
I’d put my hands on his chest and stared up at him. He was nearly as tall as Alex, which was saying a whole lot, but Tino was a lot leaner. Alex is muscular, for sure, but he was thicker, more “meat on his bones.” He could probably pick up a small car and toss it.
Tino is built more like those hot guys in the memes, shirtless, six-pack abs with that vee of muscle going down… well, you know. I’m sure Tino is strong, but I think he’d be less likely to toss a car and more likely to climb a mountain.
He’s tough, though. I heard some guys at the gym arguing about sparring with him, because no one wanted to. They said that even with the protective equipment, it still “hurt like hell to take one of Vato’s hits.”
“You know I like you,” I told him that night. “And I actually kinda love you. But not like that,” I shook my head at his hopeful grin. “Alex the Crusher has a hold on my heart and until I can break that hold, I’m stuck.” I gave him a wobbly, teary smile that made him clutch me to his chest and hold me for a long time.
He’s such a good guy. Just not mine.
My guy is a royal jerk, apparently. Tino said he never mentioned me to him, never asked if he’d heard from me. In fact, Tino said that Alex acts like “we” never happened, and is back to his surly self, stomping around the halls of Athole like the ogre he is.
Except, that’s all over and done with now. Graduation happened and, while Alex didn’t know it, I sat in the crowd, watching as he received his diploma. I didn’t want to be recognized, though, so I wore my hair tucked up in a big hat, with big dark glasses and an old lady dress I’d bought just for the occasion. Tino had laughed his butt off when he saw me, saying that I looked like some celebrity trying to hide from the paparazzi, especially with the sunglasses.
Little did he know, those glasses were hiding my mascara-streaked eyes.
Despite how he’d discarded me like last week’s leftover tuna sandwich, I was proud of Alex. Proud that he’d managed to get his diploma, even without me tutoring him for the last month of school. And when a tall blonde woman I had to assume was his mother hugged him to her while she bawled like a baby when he came off the stage, I cried even harder.
But now I need to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I mean, I need to get my diploma, get a job or go to trade school or college… those are the immediate decisions. What I’m going to do with my heart is a decision reserved for later.
Last night, Tino and I were watching television. It never ceases to amaze me that you can have over two hundred channels to choose from, and still not find a darned thing to watch. Tino was scrolling through, then finally settled on a movie abou
t street dancers.
Little did he know, that poorly acted movie on a cable channel with commercials every ten minutes changed my future.
My eyes widened when I watched the dancers and I fought not to yell at the screen that I could have choreographed their moves so much better. I was gripping the arm of the couch like I was watching some suspenseful horror movie, just waiting for the next move. And inwardly cursing when it wasn’t the move it should have been.
This morning, I woke up and knew that I needed to take the next step… whatever was going to lead to me becoming a dancer. A real dancer. But that wasn’t going to happen in Bearing, or even Clemens. Clemens is twice the size of Bearing, but still a small town. No, I need to head somewhere a lot bigger if I’m going to have a chance at a dance career.
I don’t have any unrealistic stars in my eyes, like I’m going to go to New York and get a starring role off-Broadway or anything. But I do need to move to a city that has an accredited dance school. So, I wait until Tino goes into the extra bedroom to work out and then I get on the computer.
McLeod is the nearest large city that has a dance school. It’s accredited, and I can even earn college credits. And the best part, they’re still accepting applications for the summer semester, which starts in two weeks.
The bad part, tuition is ridiculously expensive.
I chew my lip as I think about my options. Tino put a buttload of money into that bank account for me. I could easily pay the tuition for the summer semester, plus get a small apartment. I’m sure I can find a waitressing job or something to cover all the other expenses, like food.
A plan starts to form, and I get excited for the first time for the first time in months.
Tino is my biggest obstacle to my plans, though. I know he wants me to stay with him, here in the little cabin tucked in the woods. But he also has said several times that he wants me to be happy, to figure out what I want from life.
