by Alexi Venice
When Amanda tilted her back to look, too, she acted like Freddy Krueger was hovering above her with an axe. “Holy shit!” She swirled her hands overhead, swooshing a few away, barely making a dent.
“Why don’t we go inside?” Jen suggested, before Amanda freaked out and ran back to the truck. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
“I’d love one,” Amanda and Dave said in unison.
Jen slipped her hand through Amanda’s and pulled her along the brick walkway toward the front door. “Kristin will be so thrilled to see you.”
“I can’t wait,” Amanda squeezed Jen’s hand.
Jen opened the front door wide. “Kristin, someone is here to see you!”
As they entered the breezeway, Kristin came running from the living room, her eyes round and curious. When she saw Amanda, she exclaimed, “Mama Man!”
Tommy laughed.
Amanda dropped her bag and held out her arms. “Baby!”
Kristin sprang into a jump, landing in Amanda’s arms. They hugged so tightly that Jen thought it looked painful.
“I missed you, big girl!” Amanda said. “Are you having fun?”
“I can swim!” Kristin exclaimed.
“Swim?” Amanda said. “I can’t wait to see!”
A lump the size of Texas formed in Jen’s throat.
The entire Dawson family quickly made their way to the breezeway. Amanda had met Roger and Kay when they had visited the week of Kristin’s birth, but that was almost two years ago and very brief.
“Welcome to our cabin,” Kay said, pushing her sons aside and coming to Amanda for a hug.
“Thank you,” Amanda said, unaccustomed to such an all-encompassing hug, especially with Kristin in her arms.
Jen was relieved when Kay pulled back and winked at her.
“Good to see you again.” Roger gave Amanda a light hug.
“Thank you. You too,” she said, still balancing Kristin on her hip.
Patrick was next. “I’m Patrick. Do you play Dungeons and Dragons?”
Jen couldn’t recall ever seeing Amanda completely and totally knocked off balance by such a benign request.
“I, uh,” Amanda stammered, “would be willing to learn.”
“Perfect,” Patrick said. “I’ve heard how smart and creative you are, so I’m sure you’ll be a natural.”
Nervous laughter rumbled around the group.
“See?” Tommy asked. “I told you she’d love to.” Tommy’s mischievous Italian eyes twinkled at Jen.
And the rivalry begins, Jen thought. I hope he’s not pissed that she’s here.
“Hi Tommy,” Amanda said cautiously. “How’s your arm?”
He held it up and flexed his bicep. “Feeling better.”
“I’m so relieved. After all, you were wounded saving me,” Amanda said.
“Bah. All in the line of duty,” he said. “‘So, what’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?’”
Amanda faltered for a second, so Jen piped up. “I invited her—”
Patrick blurted, “ Blazing Saddles!”
Tommy nodded. “Righto. Who said it?”
Patrick clicked his fingers and pursed his lips for a few seconds then said as if on Jeopardy , “Who is Gene Wilder?!”
“Well done,” Tommy said, patting Patrick on the shoulder.
“I remember that line,” Roger said. “One of my favorite movies.”
“Well, before we get lost in Blazing Saddles quotes,” Kay said, “let’s continue the introductions, shall we?”
“I’m Roger, Jen’s father,” Roger said, extending his hand to Dave.
“I’m Dave Monroe, the Hawthornes’ pilot.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” Roger said. “Come in. Come in.” Roger said to Tommy as they passed through to the dining area, “‘They’re staying in droves.’”
“Harvey Korman,” Tommy said.
Roger snorted with approval.
“I promised them some coffee,” Jen said, nervously setting off toward the coffee maker.
Amanda followed, still carrying Kristin, who was examining Amanda’s thick curls, not unlike her own, now tightening in the humid lake air.
“You’re so tan,” Amanda whispered to Jen while she was filling the coffeemaker with water. “You look fantastic.”
Warmth spread from Jen’s fingertips to her tan toes. Unfortunately, so did flaming spears of guilt. “Thanks. I feel grungy next to you though.” She filled the bean grinder and pressed the button.
“You look happy and relaxed,” Amanda said when Jen released the button and the noise stopped.
Can she tell I had sex last night? Ashamed, Jen felt shabby and exposed in her loose tank. She poured the ground coffee into the basket. “I’m happier now that you’re here.”
“I’m sorry for surprising you.” Amanda ran her knuckles down Jen’s bronzed forearm, brushing the tiny, bleach-blonde hairs that adored her touch. “I missed you so much.”
Jen pressed the start button on the coffeemaker and turned around to face Amanda, feeling every bit the two-timing heel. “I missed you too, and I’m ecstatic that you’re here.” She fought back the queasy feeling in her stomach and hugged Amanda and Kristin both.
“Both mommies here!” Kristin exclaimed during the hug.
When they released, and Jen looked into Amanda’s eyes, she saw unabashed love, which made her feel even worse.
“I’m so excited to be here,” Amanda whispered.
Jen attempted a smile then turned to open the cupboard.
Twenty-Eight
While the coffee brewed, Jen prepared a tray with mugs, cream and sugar. Anything to keep her soiled, unfaithful hands and disloyal eyes angled away from Amanda’s observant stare. When the coffeemaker beeped, Jen brought a full carafe to the kitchen table where Dave was describing the details of the Hawthorne jet to Roger, Tommy, Jake and Patrick. They were fascinated, peppering him with detailed questions.
Amanda followed and sat with Kristin on her lap, kissing the top of her head, seemingly oblivious to Jen’s angst.
Jen poured a mug for Dave. “Cream or sugar?”
“Black. Thanks.” He lifted the mug to his lips and drank heartily despite the hot temp. “Hmm. That’s very smooth. Thank you.” He returned his attention to the group. “It was busier than I expected at the Eau Claire airport.”
“How so?” Kay asked, sitting next to Roger and across from Amanda.
“There were quite a few police standing guard at the entrance to the private hangars. Everyone was tight-lipped, but I heard there was a triple-homicide, and they were trying to shut down possible exits.”
“In Eau Claire?” Kay asked in surprise.
“Apparently,” Dave said. “Must be a big one, too, because I recognized a few government jets owned by certain agencies.”
“What agencies?” Roger asked.
“The CIA and Homeland Security,” Dave said.
“No way,” Patrick said.
“I’ll have to google the Eau Claire news,” Roger said.
Patrick was already on his phone, searching.
Jen took the information in stride, fixing Amanda a mug of coffee since she had Kristin on her lap. She mixed the precise portions of cream and sugar that warmed Amanda’s heart. At least she hoped they would.
As Jen leaned in close to set the mug before Amanda, she smiled and made eye contact. Amanda’s eyes weren’t merely sparkling, they were full of mischievous energy, setting Jen’s skin on fire. Locked in Amanda’s crosshairs, Jen suddenly felt as bare as she did alive. Can she tell?
Jen quickly straightened. “Are either of you hungry for a sandwich?” She had to put distance between her revealing eyes and Amanda’s acuity.
“That sounds fantastic,” Dave said. “I don’t want to turn around on an empty stomach.”
Jen quickly retreated to the kitchen.
“You’re not flying back tonight, are you?” Amanda asked, dragging her eyes away from
Jen and redirecting them at Dave.
“I was planning to unless you have something else in mind.”
“I don’t. It’s just that it’s a long trip, and you should get some rest.”
“I agree,” Jen said from behind the kitchen island . “You should stay here.”
“You’re welcome to,” Kay said. “We have plenty of beds in our three cabins.”
“That sounds tempting.” Dave’s sharp eyes looked from Roger to Kay.
“Consider it done,” Kay said. “You’ll bunk with the boys in Jake’s cabin.”
Roger nodded in agreement.
“Thank you kindly,” Dave said, raising his mug in salute.
“No sweat,” Jake said. “Plenty of room.”
“Amanda, are you hungry too?” Jen asked from the kitchen.
Amanda swallowed some coffee, and her eyes opened wide with the look of someone who just remembered something important. “That reminds me. I have some gifts from San Francisco in the car.” She set down Kristin and rose.
Kristin immediately went to Kay’s chair and climbed onto her lap.
“I can get them,” Dave offered.
“You sit,” Amanda said. “You’re a pilot, not a valet.”
“I’ll come with you,” Tommy said, then turned to the group and said in a Vatican-hallway whisper, “I’m the official valet.”
“Me too,” Jake and Patrick said in unison.
They trooped out to the car while Jen made a sandwich for Dave and a mini-charcuterie board for Amanda, who looked like she’d missed a few meals. Tuned to her lover’s tastes, Jen prepared a small bowl of marinated cucumber salad, a side of Kalamata olives, sliced Marieke Gouda, bison salami slices from a local rancher, and thin crackers—probably from New Jersey. The portions were small so as not to overwhelm Amanda. If there was too much food on her plate, Amanda would only pick at it. On the other hand, if there was a small serving size, she would happily consume all of it.
Jen served Dave a monster sandwich with a side of cucumber salad and chips. “We have chocolate chip cookies and milk for dessert.”
Dave’s eyes lit up like a little boy’s. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had homemade chocolate chip cookies.”
“Then you’ve come to the right place,” Jen said, tickled that she could please him.
Amanda and the men returned, carrying boxes, wheeling luggage, and rolling a large cooler.
“I think she bought out San Francisco before she left,” Tommy said.
“Let’s not exaggerate,” Amanda said. “I brought some gifts for Roger and Kay, and some goodies for everyone to share.”
Jen wandered over to the cooler and boxes to see what Amanda’s generosity yielded for her family.
Amanda announced, “I brought a couple cases of wine, both red and white, since I didn’t know what Roger and Kay preferred.”
“I’ll compromise and drink both,” Kay said, “although I usually drink white in the summer.”
“Perfect,” Amanda said. “I’ve got you covered with California Chardonnay.”
Jake opened the Chardonnay box and stowed two bottles in the fridge.
“Looks like you hit up Molinari’s for me,” Tommy said, opening the cooler. He held up a three-pound stick of meat that was 15 inches long and three inches in diameter.
“Salami?” Patrick asked.
“Not just any salami,” Tommy said. “This one is my favorites. Molinari Sopressata.”
“Sopre-what?” Patrick asked.
“Sopressata,” Tommy said. “It’s pork salami marinated in burgundy wine, then cured for a few months. I grew up on this stuff.”
Jen smiled knowingly.
“Can’t wait to try it,” Patrick said.
“Goes great with wine,” Tommy said to Kay.
“And several other salamis are in there as well as a 12-pack of Anchor Steam,” Amanda said, nodding to the cooler. Tommy unloaded the contents into the fridge.
“Molinari’s Deli is in North Beach, the neighborhood where Tommy and his family all live,” Amanda said.
Tommy turned his attention to several white, cardboard boxes of varying sizes. “Tartine Bakery? Awesome!”
“I’ve heard of that,” Kay said.
“Authentic sourdough rounds and breakfast pastries,” Amanda said. “The chocolate croissants are Tommy’s favorites.”
“The way to a man’s heart is through his sweet tooth,” Tommy said. “Anyone want to sample a chocolate croissant with me?”
Everyone expressed enthusiasm, so Tommy removed a few and sliced them in thirds, arranging them on a plate. Once he was seated at the table, he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Amanda and Kristin, savoring his chocolate croissant and sharing bites with Kristin.
Jen looked on from her safe spot on the other side of the kitchen island, a bittersweet memory of Tommy stopping into Amanda’s Sea Cliff home when she, Amanda, and Kristin lived there. Jen used to cook Italian dinners and feed Tommy late night snacks when he finished work. The warm memory washed over her, replaced by a stab of guilt. How did we get to this point? I slept with someone else last night.
Once everyone was preoccupied with croissants and conversation, Jen slipped away to her parents’ bedroom suite. She went into the bathroom and clutched the vanity while studying her creased forehead and terrified eyes in the mirror. She felt the urge to cry again, but the tears weren’t in the mood to spill. Feeling dirty and ashamed about her triomphe de handcuffs last night, she hung her head and ran cold water over her wrists to cool herself down.
What was I thinking? How could I have done that to Amanda? Can she see it in my eyes? Sense my guilt?
Amanda was so sharp that Jen feared she’d already put two and two together. And, worse, what if her family, or Tommy, inadvertently raised Jen’s “Eau Claire trip?” Kay could be trusted, but men were so dull…She’d have to get to Tommy to tell him to zip it. He was a grown man, however, who was experienced in the matters of romance and compartmentalizing relationships. Maybe she could trust him.
The cold water running over her wrists tempered her nerves but didn’t assuage her guilt. She dried off and regarded herself in the mirror. This is me now. She could see the remnants of tear streaks on her cheeks and the permanent stain of another woman’s touch in her eyes .
She used more of Kay’s R&F cream, generously dabbing it on her cheeks and around her eyes, hoping the blotchiness would subside with the application of cream more valuable than rare earth minerals. Since she had been dipping into it all week, she made a mental note to order a replacement jar for Kay as a thank you gift.
She took several calming breaths, forcing her mind to set aside Victoria, so she wouldn’t accidentally telepath guilt to Amanda, who was a panther in the emotional jungle, capable of sensing the subtlest shift in Jen.
Jen returned to the dining area, aware of both Amanda’s and her mother’s assessing eyes on her. She feigned nonchalance, praying that Amanda would misinterpret guilt for nervousness over her unannounced arrival.
Jen sat next to Amanda—better to stay close—and glanced at her cell phone, sitting face-up on a placemat. A message populated, Victoria’s name appearing on the screen. Oh no. Jen slowly and casually—she hoped—reached over and clicked the off button, praying Amanda hadn’t noticed.
Amanda’s own cell phone was resting next to her elbow on the table, and Jen noticed that the screen was still hopelessly spiderwebbed.
“Sorry about that.” Jen flicked her eyes at Amanda’s phone. “You haven’t replaced it yet?”
Amanda smiled sheepishly and whispered, “I know. Can you believe it? My replacement arrived in the mail, but I haven’t opened it. I’m sorry to say that this phone took on a weird sort of symbolism of our relationship, and I didn’t want to jinx my chances of reuniting with you by starting fresh with a new phone.”
Overhearing, Kay’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but she quickly lowered them and redirected her gaze to Dave, who was
again sharing his conversations with the other pilots at the Eau Claire hangar.
Jen covered Amanda’s hand with her own and whispered, “I’m sorry I threw it.”
Amanda visibly warmed. When she turned to look at Dave talking, Jen quickly slid her phone under the seat cushion on the bench, so Amanda wouldn’t notice any more texts.
After eating croissants, Jake suggested they go for a boat ride and show Amanda and Dave the lake.
“I’d love to,” Amanda said. “What do I wear on the boat? Is swimming involved?”
“Just skiing,” Jake said. “Do you ski?”
“Um…no.”
“I’ll teach you,” he said.
Amanda looked doubtful, even more doubtful than playing D&D. “I’ll think about it.”
“Let me show you to the guest room where you can change into a suit,” Jen said.
She led Amanda down the main hallway, Amanda rolling her steamer trunk of expensive clothes. When they reached the sunny bedroom where Kristin’s toddler bed was set up, Amanda grabbed Jen’s arm.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me crashing your vacation like this?” Her shapely brows pleaded innocence. “You seem a little nervous.”
Jen released the roller bag and hugged Amanda, allowing her body to do the talking rather than her adulterous eyes. At least she could shield them with sunglasses while boating. In the meantime, she’d have to take evasive maneuvers.
Hugging Amanda was like sitting by the fire on a cold winter’s night. The curves of her solid, yet soft, body conformed perfectly to Jen’s. Her solid arms held Jen tightly around her waist, bringing their bodies in full contact, from the jut of their hip bones to the round edges of their shoulders. They stood for several beats, a shaft of light bathing them in gentle warmth.
“I’m thrilled that you’re here. I hope you can stay the second full week with us,” Jen said over Amanda’s shoulder into the warm air.
“I have all the time in the world for you and Kristin,” Amanda said, not elaborating on her sudden unemployment.
Jen felt more than heard a hitch in Amanda’s voice, again impressed with Amanda’s vulnerability. She’s willing to leave work behind for Kristin and me? A different kind of guilt surfaced in Jen—regret. She regretted rashly storming out of Amanda’s life and running to Wisconsin without her. Bubbles of confession rose from her throat. “I’m sorry I blew up at you and ran out.”
