by M. R. Forbes
"What do you mean?" Alfred asked.
"The Council is meeting over what they are calling the Massacre. Raguel and some of the others are arguing for immediate action, while Michael is urging peace and calm. Many of our brothers and sisters are upset that so many were killed, and we cannot retaliate. They say by attacking so many she attacked us all, and we should be permitted to fight back. Michael states only the Will of the Lord."
"Retaliate against what?" Obi said. "Sarah? By the way, it's good to see you again, Josie."
"You as well, Obi-wan." She smiled at the name, and then returned her attention to me. "Yes. They want to track down Sarah and kill her."
"They do know they don't have the power, right?"
"I don't think so. They believe they can overwhelm her. And if that fails, Raguel is willing to risk being discovered on Earth."
"And create Armageddon, all because he doesn't want me to take care of this?"
"All because this is the best chance they'll ever have to push their agenda," Obi said.
Josette shifted her gaze, looking past me, scanning the sky. "They took Uriel because Raguel knew you would keep trying to come here, and as long as you can't reach him, you can't reforge the blade. It was a mistake to tell him about it."
"Hindsight," I replied.
"Perhaps. They also took him so that if they can get the blade from you, Raguel can use it to increase his power and challenge Sarah directly."
"Like Michael did to Lucifer," I said.
"Yes. Only if Raguel gains that much power, I fear he will become like Lucifer. He is too angry. Too vengeful."
"We need Uriel if we're going to do anything with the sword," I said. "What are we supposed to do?"
"First, we must get you away from here. Follow me."
Josette ducked back into the house. We trailed behind her, following as she made her way through the structure. It was definitely the home of a hermit. The stone was dark and damp, and there were few windows to allow the light in. Only the burning embers of a forge that had been long ignored gave the space any illumination at all.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Back to the Convent. There is a special passage from here to there."
"What was Uriel doing with a secret passage to the Convent?" Alfred asked.
"The Sisters would meet him daily for confession," Josette replied. "Even after all these years."
I heard a thump from the front of the house. Someone pushed the door the rest of the way open.
"They must have seen you," Josette said. "Hurry."
She picked up the pace, and so did we. I could hear the footsteps behind us, moving through the house, searching for signs of our passing. I couldn't believe I was running away from angels. Then again, this wasn't Earth. The Archangels had full reign here. Even if they didn't kill me, they could still detain me, hold me until it was too late.
"In here," Josette said, leading us into a storage room. It was filled with barrels that in turn were filled with ingots of metal that looked sort of like iron, but seemed to glow despite the lack of light. I had seen the same glow on some of the blessed swords the angels carried.
Josette pushed one of the barrels aside, revealing a ladder beneath. "Climb down."
We did. She took up the rear, moving the barrel back in place behind us.
"Whoa," Obi said.
We had gone down into a small chamber filled with candles. At the rear of it was the most beautiful metal crucifix I had ever seen, plated in gold and platinum and emitting its own light. My body tingled at the sight of it.
The front of the chamber had a simple stool, and ahead of that a screen. Josette opened the screen, revealing the other side of the confessional and the tunnel leading away from the house. The angels searching for us reaching the storage room as we approached it, their feet loud over our heads.
I put my finger to my lips, and we remained still. They retreated a few heartbeats later, signaling us to resume our escape. We passed across the screen to the tunnel, and then Josette closed it all behind us once more.
She motioned for us to remain silent as we moved down the tunnel. As Alfred had already told me, the Sisters didn't speak. I wasn't sure if she was allowed to, or if these were all the words we would get to share. If they were, I would treasure them and the chance to have heard her voice and seen her face one more time.
Even so, I hoped they weren't. Seeing the crucifix had placed a sudden, immediate weight on my soul. A sense of guilt I had never experienced before. I didn't understand it. I didn't want it. I didn't seem to have a choice.
As if things couldn't get any more complicated.
Twenty-Two
We reached the end of the tunnel, which opened out into another dimly lit structure. Josette remained silent as she guided us out into a hallway, down to an adjacent corridor, and then across to a simple door. She opened us, motioned us in, and then closed it behind us, leaving us alone.
"It is permitted to speak in here," Alfred said, breaking the silence.
"You told me you'd been here to see Josette before," I said.
The angel nodded.
"Where did she go?"
"She must inform her superior that we are here."
"Won't that lead Raguel to us?" Obi asked.
"No. The Sisters hold everything in confidence. This is the safest place in Heaven for you to be."
"Maybe, but staying here for long is the same as being held captive," I said.
"I don't expect we will be staying. We need time to determine how to reach Uriel without drawing Raguel's attention. It will be difficult while he is being held up at the Council."
The door opened, and Josette re-entered. "Difficult, but not impossible," she said. "The Mother has agreed to see you."
"The Mother?"
She came in behind Josette. She was a large woman, with a big, solid frame and a large, jovial face. She reminded me of the Dalai Lama.
"The Diuscrucis," she said, looking at me. Her eyes traveled head to toe, and my guilt increased a hundredfold. It was as though she saw right through me. She turned her attention to Josette. "We cannot help him until he confesses. His soul is not ready."
Josette looked concerned. "Mother Hahn," she started to say.
"No. I'm sorry, child. You know our purpose."
"Yes, Mother," Josette said.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Mercy," Mother Hahn said. "The Lord grants mercy to all who ask for it. It is this mercy which cleanses the soul. Mercy that gives us strength to carry on. Mercy that leads us down the path of the righteous and just. By confessing your sins, you will learn the healing power of His mercy."
"What if I don't want it?" I said.
"Then you cannot be helped, and you cannot be saved. If you will not confess, we have no more to discuss."
I opened my mouth to argue before stopping myself. Why was I arguing, anyway? I was in Heaven, speaking to an angel. I couldn't reason with her, and I knew it. Besides, my soul was screaming out to me to do it. Maybe I was half-evil, but that didn't mean doing bad things ever felt good in the end. What if asking for forgiveness would lighten the burden I had felt since even before I had escaped the Box?
"Can I confess to Josette?" I asked.
"You may confess to any of the Sisters," Mother Hahn replied.
"Will you?" I asked.
Josette smiled. "Of course, Landon." She bowed to the Mother and then motioned for me to follow without speaking.
We went out into the hallway, back the way we had come. She led me to a small confessional, one in a row of confessionals. I could hear muffled whispers as we passed them. There were others already inside.
"I thought confession was a punishment?" I said as we sat. She was on one side of the screen, and I was on the other.
"That is a different kind of confession," she replied. "And yes, that is a punishment. This is not."
"Do you confess?"
"At least once per week."
She giggled. "That's none of your business."
Right. "But I can't imagine what you would have to ask for forgiveness for. You're living in a cloistered community and spending almost all of your time in prayer."
"Thoughts still enter my mind that are unfit for such pursuits," she said. "Are you stalling?"
"Sort of," I admitted.
"Why?"
"I'm afraid if I start talking, I'm going to fall apart."
"The Mother could sense the pain in your soul, Landon. You are already falling apart."
That simple statement hit me like a hammer. I felt my eyes welling up already, and I hadn't said anything yet. Damn.
"I'm not sure what to say," I said.
"Say whatever feels natural. There is no right or wrong."
We sat in silence for a minute. Then another. This was harder than I was expecting. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know where to start.
"Landon," Josette said at last. "We have been friends since the moment we met. You saved my life. You saved Sarah's life. God had a plan for me, and I believe for you as well. Do not be afraid."
The tears started coming for real when she said that, running down my face and dripping off my chin.
"I've failed you," I said. "I've failed everyone. I put myself first. I put my lust first, my desires first, my needs first. I wasn't there for Sarah when she needed me."
I paused, trying to catch myself, trying not to say the words I didn't want to say. I felt the pressure on my soul, the weight that was threatening to crush me. Was God doing this to me? Was that even possible?
"I promised you I would protect her. I have to kill her."
I waited in silence for her judgment, the tears continuing to come. How could she forgive me for that? How could anyone forgive me for that? Thou shalt not kill. It was the most basic law in the Universe, and I had done it so many times.
"Please, forgive me," I whispered.
A few more seconds of silence passed.
"I forgive you," Josette said. "And the Lord forgives you. Your road has not been an easy one, my friend. Your journey to Him filled with struggle and pain. But He loves the least of us most of all and welcomes those who have failed and yet wish to succeed. In His mercy, may you find peace and strength and courage. When the time comes, I know you will do the right thing. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I absolve you."
I don't know what I expected to happen. I don't know if I expected anything to happen at all. I wasn't the most religious guy around, and I certainly hadn't been following the word of the Lord very much, if at all. Even so, I could sense the change in myself. The lightening of my guilt, a feeling of peace and calm, and a realization that maybe there was another choice when it came to Sarah. Maybe when the time came, I wouldn't have to end her life.
I wiped my eyes until they were dry and then stepped out of the confessional. Josette was already in the hallway, and she gave me a hug as I emerged, almost causing me to tear up again.
"All will be well, Landon," she whispered. We both knew she wasn't supposed to be talking right now. "Do not underestimate the power of your spirit."
I nodded, staying quiet. She led me back to the room where Obi, Alfred, and Mother Hahn were waiting. The Mother looked me over again as I entered, and this time, when her eyes pierced me I didn't feel such an incredible sense of shame.
"Not perfect, but it will do," she said.
Twenty-Three
Mother Hahn and Josette vanished from the room immediately after the Mother declared me "good enough." I still wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but I imagined that the improvement in my personal psyche was somehow visible to her, and she had decided it was acceptable. To be honest, the whole thing was still a bit of a mystery to me, though I was very glad I had been given the opportunity to confess to Josette. It was her child at the center of the storm, after all.
"Where do you think they went?" Obi asked some time later.
An hour had passed. Maybe two.
"To go talk to the Council on our behalf?" I suggested. "Alfred, do you know?"
He shook his head. "I am not invited into the affairs of the Sisterhood. Before today, I didn't allow that they ever left the Convent grounds."
"Even a thousand-year-old angel can learn something new," Obi said. "There's still hope for me."
"Whatever it is, it's taking a long time. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"Come on, man. This is you we're talking about. Whatever happens, it's a bad thing."
"Funny."
Obi put his hand on my shoulder. "Seriously, if they don't show up soon, I think we should head out on our own."
"I'm starting to agree."
Another ten minutes went by. I was giving heavier weight to the idea of breaking out when the door to the room opened, and Josette swept in.
"What's happening?" I asked. She looked troubled.
"Mother Hahn was trying to get an audience with Archangel Michael, to discuss Raguel's actions and call him out on them. He refused to see her."
"Why?"
"Apparently, because he's in agreement with Raguel."
I froze. "What?"
"My feelings exactly. Michael is at the top of the hierarchy within Heaven, second only to the Holy Trinity. The idea that he has begun to question God is unfathomable."
"This is worse than I thought."
"It is worse than any of us thought."
"Okay, so how do we stop it?"
"We can't stop it. Landon, Michael ordered Mother Hahn to turn you over to the Council."
"Will she?"
"She has no choice if you are still here when she arrives."
"Where is she?"
"Tied up with some other official business, I'm afraid," she said, winking.
Then she lifted her robe over her head and dropped it on the floor. She wasn't nude, at least not to my eyes. She was wearing loose fitting clothes that resembled a karate gi. A pair of wooden sticks sat on her hip.
"Mother Hahn will do her best to keep His Excellency occupied while we make our escape."
"Our escape?"
"She has ordered me to accompany you. I can't return to the mortal realm, but I can assist you here, as can my sisters. They are waiting at the southern entrance."
"I don't understand," I said. "Won't you get in trouble for this?"
"We are taking a tremendous risk, but the need is great, and Mother Hahn believes that you will do the right thing. When you shed your defenses, your soul is more good than it is evil. You can stop Sarah, and save her. I know you can."
I wasn't as confident about that as she was, but I was hopeful. I followed her as she left the room again, with Obi and Alfred behind me. There were other Sisters in the hallway, but they largely ignored our passage, looking away as we turned the corner.
"Out here," Josette said, bringing us to a final hallway.
We paused at the end of it. Josette's sisters were already sitting on the floor, their hands bound by rope. Four angels were blocking the exit.
"Sister," one of them said. "The Diuscrucis is ordered to turn over the shards and await return to the mortal realm. This directive came directly from Archangel Michael. Refusal is akin to treason."
Josette stood her ground in front of me.
"Josette, don't," I said. "You already got in trouble for me once. I don't want you to sacrifice your faith for me again."
"You speak as if my faith is something I can lose or give up," Josette said, her voice rising. "Do not be concerned. I know your cause is just. The Lord has affirmed it in his mercy." She stepped forward, locking eyes with the angels. "Be careful with your next decision, brothers. You are being led down a path that ends in treachery and a fall from grace. I would not like to see that happen."
"The decision is not ours to make, sister. It is our Master's, and he has already decided. The Lord cannot punish us for sending him back where he belongs."
"How about for stealing?" I asked. "The shards are mine."
"The shards belong to the seraphim."
"They were lost. I recovered them. Finders, keepers."
"That is absurd."
"Whatever. You still aren't getting them."
The angels started their approach. They had sticks that were similar to Josette's, only they were metal and etched with runes. I assumed it was their version of non-lethal control.
"I won't allow you to touch him, or take the shards," Josette said.
"Then you will be disobeying our Lord and Master. You will fall."
"Will I? Let us see."
She rushed them, bringing her sticks to hand as she did. I stepped forward behind her, trying to think of something I could do or say that would stop her. I didn't want her to fall. I didn't want to cause a fight in Heaven.
She reached the angels, going for the one on the left first, attacking him with a quick series of strikes that he used his arms to block. The one on the right tried to grab her, but she slipped away from his grip, cracking one of the sticks hard on his wrist. His hand dropped numbly as she passed through to the second row.
She stood in the center of them in a ready posture, sticks out beside her, legs low and balanced. More importantly, she hadn't fallen.
"My cause is just," she said.
"Perhaps you believe it to be. That may absolve you to our Lord, but it does not make it so."
They went after her, coming at her in unison. Their metal sticks bounced off her wooden ones, her arms moving in a quick rhythm, her body held planted by her legs. She writhed and undulated around the attacks, sneaking in an occasional strike to the chest or hand that would leave the angels in limited pain. If a disabling blow was what she was after, it was going to take her a while to get it.
Or at least, I thought it was. Then she leaped out from the center of the square, getting behind one of the seraphs and hitting him solidly on the side of the head. The stick made a sharp crack against his skull, and he dropped to the floor.
The other angels moved in, eager to stop her assault. She fell back on defense, deflecting their strikes and making efforts to land her own. They were more wary of her now, and more focused on defending themselves.
