by Amelia Jade
“While it is true I have not been a good member of my crew or my family, I believe that I can be better. I can fix what is wrong, and I will. I want to show them, and you, that trusting me wasn’t a mistake, and that I can be a productive member of the Ridgebacks. All I ask is that you allow me one more chance to put the perspective I have gained while being out here to use, to help my crew.”
He finished and looked up at Marcus. Cole forbid any pleading to enter into his eyes or his face. This was his fault, and though he hoped for a stay on his execution, he would face it respectfully and with as much courage as he could summon, no matter what happened.
Marcus looked at him for a moment, then made up his mind.
“Mr. Lovac, you have had several chances already. Your time with the Ridgebacks was your second chance. You declined to see that, and despite your well-reasoned words today, I see no evidence in front of me that you are willing to change.”
Cole felt his gut sinking. His knees wobbled, but he forced them to stand upright.
“Thus we have no choice but to sentence you to ending. Punishment to be carried out immediately.” Marcus stood abruptly, looking as if he had swallowed a bad pill, then stepped down and opened the door that led outside, where Cole would be ended.
“What?” Garrett shot to his feet, anger in his voice. “That is unacceptable!”
Marcus stopped, and turned to face him.
“Cole may be an idiot, but he hasn’t done anything to indicate harm toward humans, and all he does is fight us. He didn’t even fight Ben and his lackeys when he realized he was on their territory. He shifted back and allowed them to take him. It was an honest mistake,” Garrett argued.
“I concur,” a deeper voice rumbled through the crowd as Ajax, Alpha of the Silvertips stood up, voicing his protest. Cole blinked as that happened. He hadn’t expected any support, let alone Alphas from two of the five most powerful crews in the valley. Hell, the only Alpha who had more sway than Ajax was Michael, the Alpha of the Whitepines, known to the humans as the Diamond Crew. Cole was flattered that someone with so much standing in the valley would speak on his behalf.
“I understand your anger,” Marcus said, raising his hand. The two Alphas quieted down, but they both remained standing to show their support for Cole.
“But I am reminded of a similar incident from a decade ago. Eleven years to be precise. The shifter in question was on the same downward spiral of self-destruction. Eventually he was brought before us. I ruled in favor of giving him another chance. Does anyone know what happened next?”
Garrett shook his head mutely, while Ajax remained unmoving.
“He was in town when his bear fought him for control, and won. Only for a moment, no more than fifteen, maybe twenty seconds. In that time, the shifter killed seven humans. Twenty seconds, seven dead. Cole here,” Marcus said, pointing in his direction, “lost control for several hours. I appreciate your arguments, but they are not strong enough to sway my judgment.”
With a gesture he motioned for Gabriel to bring Cole forward.
Well, Cole thought as a hand made of steel guided him toward the door, at least it appeared Gabriel was right when he said that the Kedyns didn’t like having to sentence anyone to death. Then again, he snorted mentally, they also don’t hesitate to do it either.
The walk outside was a blur, but he didn’t go far. There was an open field, which is where Marcus would shift and dispense justice. The Kedyn brothers ended everyone that came before them. They bore the burden of life and death within their own hands, and did not pass off the responsibility to anyone else. Despite his pending execution, Cole had to respect him for that.
Gabriel knelt him down in front of Marcus, and then retreated out of the way.
“I’m sorry,” Marcus murmured to him, before he too stepped back, but this time to give himself space to shift into his gryphon form.
Cole held his breath. He refused to try and run away, or to make a scene. It wouldn’t make a difference except confirm to the others that they were doing the right thing. No, he would die with as much honor as he had left to him.
Marcus closed his eyes, preparing to shift.
Cole trembled in barely contained fear.
Here it comes.
“Wait!”
Chapter Ten
Trestin
“Wait!”
The voice rang out into the silence, startling Trestin. Except, she realized as heads turned to look at her, that it had been her voice. The voice she had been trying to find during the entire proceedings earlier. Emma had been seated with Garrett and had been unable to prompt her to speak, and now Garrett had forbidden Emma from watching what was about to happen.
But he hadn’t known Trestin was there, and she had managed to come outside unnoticed, standing at the back.
There had been several moments when she had wanted to speak up earlier, but each time she found herself frozen, unable to do so. Now though, she took hold of whatever it was that was allowing her to speak and harnessed that strength, determined to use it.
Striding forward, the crowd of bear shifters and employees of LMC parted before her. She barely noticed them, because her eyes were on the man on his knees in front of them all. The man who had been sentenced to die, and who had accepted that burden without crumbling. She had seen the fear in his eyes, but he hadn’t fought, hadn’t struggled, and was prepared to accept what was coming with more honor and courage than she had ever seen in him before.
“Who are you?” the tall, scary man with the scar said, at the same time that the gargantuan shifter who had escorted Cole out there stepped in front of her.
“I’m his mate,” she said firmly.
A hushed sound of surprise came from behind her.
“And why have you not spoken up before?” the man said, pushing his guardian to the side as he stepped forward.
“I’m not sure if you realize this or not, but you guys are somewhat imposing,” she said, drawing a small laugh from the crowd behind her. “That, and it took me witnessing the strength and courage of Cole going to his death without faltering to break through to me. I’m not the strongest person ever, I readily admit that, but I can draw strength from him, from watching him do that. That alone, I should think, would be enough to convince me to argue in favor of you staying your hand.”
“It would not be enough,” the man said simply.
“I know. But there’s more,” she said, steeling herself against his inquisitive gaze and the reaction she knew she was about to get.
“Speak then.”
“He’s going to be a father.”
There. She said it, she had put it out there.
“What?!” The cry came from Cole. He had looked up when she first spoke, but even when she had approached he had stayed on his knees. Now, however, he struggled to his feet, moving toward her slowly so as not to alarm anyone.
“Are you serious?” he asked, his eyes searching within hers.
She felt tears well up at the shock she saw within his mysterious gold and brown gaze. Trestin nodded, a smile caressing her cheeks as warm liquid fell like raindrops down her cheeks.
Please be okay with this, please be okay, she pleaded silently.
“But we... I mean there was only...” Cole couldn’t find the words. “How is that possible?”
Trestin didn’t have a chance to respond. The tall man with the scar spoke up again, taking back control of the conversation.
“This is true then?” the man asked her. She knew he was one of the Kedyns, though his name had never actually been spoken.
“Yes, Mr. Kedyn,” she said respectfully. “I give you my word, and you may also call my doctor to verify if you wish. I got the results from them yesterday, confirming what a home test had told me. I’m three months pregnant. And,” she added. “Cole is the only person I’ve been with in that timeframe.”
“Very well,” the man said, turning to Cole. “Mr. Lovac, it would appear you have been granted an ama
zing third chance. You know how we feel about offspring. I will not sentence a man to death, depriving a child of his father. That would be against our code. But,” he said warningly, his voice becoming much cooler, “fix your issues. If you continue causing trouble, there will be repercussions.”
Cole nodded solemnly, but she could see that his eyes were still wide in disbelief.
***
Sometime later, they were seated back in Cole’s room. She couldn’t help but stare at the mangled ruin that had once been his bed.
“Cole, what...” she trailed off, unable to understand. “What happened here?”
He stared at her. The entire trip back, he had said barely a few words. It wasn’t the joyous and excited reaction she had hoped for, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, either. Now though, as she spoke his expression went from rigid shock to ice cold, devoid of any emotion.
“Talk to me, dammit!” she yelled angrily, as he stood there in stony-faced silence. “I’m carrying your child. Tell me what the hell is going on!”
That seemed to get through to him. She could see some of his exterior façade crumbling, as his eyes glanced down at her stomach before quickly flickering back up to her.
She tensed for an outburst of anger, but Cole surprised her. The hard shell crumbled away. Slowly at first, as cracks appeared, and then more rapidly as a part of Cole seemed to burst through.
“I need help,” he told her. His voice was level, and even fully in command of himself. She had seen him this way before when he had flirted with her initially, and at other times on the two dates they had been on.
“For what?” she asked, suddenly thrown off guard.
He didn’t reply at first, instead walking over and turning on another set of lights and a lamp. It wasn’t an overly bright day out, and the added light helped to make the mood somewhat calmer and more comfortable.
“I...” he hesitated. “I’m not sure how to explain this. As a matter of fact, I’ve never told anyone before,” he confessed.
“Why are you telling me now?” she asked, though she felt certain of at least part of the answer.
“I’ve missed you,” he said. “So, so much. I didn’t think it was possible to miss someone who had been so briefly a part of my life. But I have. When you were around—even now, though things aren’t great between us—I feel complete, I feel at ease. You make me feel like I can tell you anything.”
A small spark of something flared within her. It was too faint to call it hope right then, but she knew that if he continued to talk to her, to share what was hurting him with her, that it could very well flame into that. Hope for his salvation, hope that her unborn child would not have to be raised without a father. And though she tried to push it aside because she didn’t want to acknowledge it in fear it might flare out, hope that the two of them might end up together after all.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” she asked softly. “It would have saved so much trouble.”
“No argument,” he said. “I regret that I didn’t, but the honest truth is, Trestin, that I couldn’t. I literally did not know how.”
“What changed?”
“Staring death in the eye and forcing yourself to accept it does something to a person’s soul,” he said, his eyes looking somewhere else.
They were, she realized, looking into his soul, in a way that no one who hadn’t been at the brink of death—and who hadn’t come to terms with the fact that they were about to die—would ever be able to fully appreciate. There would always be a part of him now that she could not follow, but Trestin was willing to accept that if it meant that the rest of him could be shared with her.
“As a child,” he said, focusing back on the present with a blink, “I had no family. I suppose I must have had a mother and a father at some point, but I don’t recall them. I have no idea if I was an orphan, or put up for adoption. Nobody ever knew.”
Trestin felt her heart ache. She hadn’t known that about him. Then again, she didn’t know much about his past.
“Here,” he said, reaching out and guiding her to a seat. “I know you’re not feeling the effects much yet, but before you know it, you will be. Take advantage of every moment you can to rest now,” he said with a smile.
“Thank you.” She liked the way he was already beginning to look out for her.
“Anyway,” he continued with his story, “I was in a lot of foster care homes, shelters, the usual. By the time I was eleven, I was living on the streets. As I’m sure you’re aware, kids can be quite cruel to each other.”
She nodded, remembering a time that several of the girls at school had tormented her for weeks after she got her period for the first time while in class. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, though she sensed that it paled next to what he was going to tell her.
“I was quite small as a kid. There was a pack of other urchins, led by this one kid named Brandon. He was slightly bigger than the rest, and he didn’t take any shit. They came upon me one day, and I talked back to him. He knocked me out. One punch. I couldn’t take much back then,” he said.
Trestin was fairly sure the small laugh that followed surprised her as much as him. It was good though, she thought, that he was finally able to look back on everything and begin to accept that what had happened was now in the past. Making light of the little things was the first step.
“Anyway, when I awoke, they had put me in a cage.”
She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in horror.
“They kept me drugged. I have no idea with what, but it was all a haze. They put a collar on me, and constantly beat me, poked me with sharpened sticks, and more.”
“They tortured you!” she exclaimed, unable to keep quiet anymore.
He nodded, his eyes haunted by the memories. Trestin, without thinking, got up and went to where he was leaning against the wall. She reached out, gathering him up into her arms with a giant hug. She tried not to shiver with terror as he told her everything they did to him. The ways they cut him and beat him. The things they said, or worst of all, the way they laughed at him while doing it.
“I don’t know how long it went on for,” he whispered in her ear.
She kept quiet now, understanding that he needed to get it all out, to finish telling his tale without any more interruptions.
“Eventually my bear decided to manifest. It was… not good, to put it mildly. The wooden cage didn’t stand a chance. None of them happened to be around at that time. I doubt I would have been able to stop myself from killing them if they were. But,” he said with a grimace, “consequently, because I know they aren’t dead, I’ve had to deal with them coming back.”
He disentangled himself from her arms now, taking a seat after he made sure she was comfortable once more.
“That’s what happened to my bed. When the dreams start, I begin to shift in my sleep. I fight them, in my sleep.”
She nodded, looking back and forth between him and the decimated mattress.
“So that’s why you sent me away,” she said in understanding.
“Trestin,” he said, and she could see him fighting to keep back tears. “I can’t control it. I would have killed you without knowing it. I would have woken up that morning, and you would have been lying there dead next to me.”
He got up, agitatedly walking back and forth.
“I couldn’t let that happen. That would have been unacceptable on more than just the obvious level. There was no way I was going to allow the woman that I was quickly falling in love with, that I had come to realize was my mate, to stay with me. I had to make you leave, don’t you see?”
For the first time that afternoon, she saw Cole pleading with someone for forgiveness. He hadn’t done it when he had been faced with the possibility of his death, and he had refused to give in even after being sentenced to death. But now, in looking for her forgiveness, he clearly felt that he had enough of an emotional attachment to fight for it. Before he had accepted that he had done
enough wrong.
“I know what I did, and how I did it, is likely something you would never forgive me for. But I want to be there for you, and for our child.”
He snarled, though not at her.
“I will not allow a child of mine to grow up without a father. No one should have to go through that. So whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, I will do it. For you, and for him,” he said.
“Him?” she asked, eyebrows arched.
“A guy can hope?” he said.
Trestin couldn’t help it. She let loose a little laugh. Then another. And another. Cole laughed with her. Then before she knew it, the two of them were howling with laughter, the tension of everything—his confession, the entire day—fading from them just enough.
“I’m glad you told me,” she said softly into the silence that followed.
“You know what? So am I,” he said. “I feel better already, getting it out. I’ve just been dealing with it for so long, it builds up, and up, and up. It’s not that long a story, and really not that bad,” he said. “I really shouldn’t let it affect me so.”
“No. Stop that,” she commanded. “To eleven-year-old you, that was bad. You have every right to be affected by what they did to you. And now that you’ve told me, we’ll find a way to get you the help you need to get over it.”
“Do you really think that’s possible?” he said, pointedly looking at the mattress.
“Yes,” she said firmly, “Yes I do.”
He nodded slowly. “I would like that. The idea of being able to sleep next to you all night appeals to me a lot.”
“Oh Cole,” she said. “Come here,” she told him.
He frowned, confused, but followed her order nonetheless, until he was standing in front of her.
She hugged him again. Cole moved to kiss her as well, but she planted a hand on his chest.
