“No,” I said, as I shook my head. “It can't be.”
“I know,” she said, as she sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.
I looked around the room to see Lance, Lucy, Lance Jr., Lauren, Parker, Sammie, and James, who was sitting alone with his head down in his hands, and every single one of them had tears in their eyes.
When I jumped up from the couch and headed for the stairs, Parker was right behind me. His arms wrapped around me and he spun me toward him.
“I have to see her,” I said, and he shook his head.
“She's gone, Cassie,” he said, as he pulled me closer and held me tight.
“She's in her bed,” I said, as I pushed against him. “I have to see her.”
“No,” he said, as he held me and wouldn't let me go. “She's gone. They had to take her.”
“No,” I said. “Ask James. He saw her.”
“I know, princess,” Parker whispered. “I know he did. He was with her when they took her. She wasn't alone.”
“James,” I said, as I turned to see my brother look up at me with tears streaming down his face.
“She's gone, Cassie,” he said. “They did everything they could, but they couldn't help her.”
“She was in my arms,” I said. “We were talking.”
“I know,” Parker said, as his hand began moving slowly up and down my back. “I need you to calm down, baby.”
“Here,” Lucy said, as she came over and handed me a glass of water and some pills.
“No,” Parker snapped out before I could even reach for them. “She doesn't need them.”
“We were talking,” I said. “I told her I was going to help her. She said no, but I did it anyway. She said she was ready to be with grandpa.”
“What?” Lance asked.
“She said she was proud of us,” I said. “Said we were all happy. She looked so tired. Made me promise we'd all stay together. Said it was my job. I can't replace her. Nobody can.”
The whole room was quiet.
“I told her, Parker. She smiled when I did. She already knew. Did I tell you that?”
He looked down at me nervously.
“You did,” he said. “You told me.”
“Told her what?” James and Lance asked at the same time.
“I told her she couldn't go, Parker,” I whispered. “She needed to meet her. I told her that, but she said she was ready. I tried to keep her awake. I tried to tell her, but she said no. I held her hand. She made me promise to keep our family together. She squeezed my hand. Then she let out a breath, and she was gone. They should have helped her. I told her, Parker. She'll have her name. That's what I said.”
“Okay, Cassie,” he said, as he looked at me nervously.
“Are you mad?” I asked him. “I'm going to do it. I told her I was.”
“No, baby,” he said. “I'm not mad. That sounds perfect. I need you to come sit down. You need to calm down.”
The entire room was quiet, and they were all staring at me.
“What?” I asked. “I tried to help. I swear. Don't be mad.”
“We're not mad,” Lucy said. “There was nothing you could have done. They told us that. She was older, Cassie, and she was ready.”
“Then why are they all looking at me?” I asked her, as she knelt down in front of me.
“Because you just told them all that you were pregnant and that you already know it's a girl,” she said, as she smiled at me. “Congratulations!”
“I did?” I asked, trying to remember what I'd even said.
“You did,” she said.
“So, it's a girl?” Sammie asked.
I looked over at her and nodded.
“Wait!” James said. “You already knew.”
“I figured it out months ago,” Sammie answered.
“Grandma figured it out before you did,” I said.
“What?” Lance snapped out. “That was months ago. You already know it's a girl?”
“We do,” Parker said, as he looked from me to Lance. “I told her, but she wouldn't listen.”
“Are you mad?” I asked.
“No,” Lance said. “I'm actually a little relieved.”
“You are?” I asked.
“I am,” he said. “I don't know how much more of all this I can take. I'm no spring chicken, and you kids are kicking my ass. Please tell me his ass is getting fixed after this one.”
“Not going to happen,” Parker snapped. “Those two pussies might be willing, but I am not.”
“Don't be calling my boys pussies,” Lance snapped out at Parker. “They're smart. That's what they are. Maybe you should take some damn notes from them.”
“I miss her already,” I said.
“What?” Lance asked, as he calmed his voice and looked down at me.
“She was the only one that could shut you up,” I said.
He looked down at me with wide eyes, but he didn't say another word, and everyone around us burst into laughter.
It was the first moment since I'd seen her in her bed that I actually felt like I could breathe. I'd made her a promise, and I was going to do exactly what she asked me to do. No matter what happened, I was going to keep them together, all of them. I would do it for her. She deserved that and so much more, and I would miss her every day for the rest of my life. She was my grandma, and she was amazing.
Chapter 20
Cassie
It took me a few minutes to realize we were all there but our kids weren't, and I freaked. Parker quickly let me know that all of the kids were at our house, two houses away, with our neighbor, the one from between the houses. It hadn't taken long for us to make friends with the people sandwiched between us, and they were a really nice couple. They had to be to be able to put up with our kids running back and forth between the houses. Like everyone else, they'd really come to love my grandma. It was impossible not to get close to her. She treated everyone like one of hers. That was her way.
James had called our dad, who had left work to hurry to be with our mom. He was the one that told her. It needed to be that way. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to thank her for calling me. I'd thought it was ridiculous when she'd done it, but I didn't anymore. If it weren't for her call, I wouldn't have been there with my grandma. I wouldn't have been holding her and telling her I loved her. She would have been alone.
Dad sent James a text just as they were leaving their house in Michigan to let us know they were on their way, and I began counting the hours and then minutes until they'd be there with us. I needed my mom, and I knew she needed us too.
“I'm going to go over and get the baby,” James said after a while, heading for the front door. “Sammie needs to feed him.”
“I'm sorry,” I said, just as he reached for the handle.
“For what?” he asked.
“I'm sorry I had them call you,” I answered. “I told them to call Parker, but I knew he was at Sammie's place with the kids. You were the only one I thought of. I shouldn't have done that to you.”
“No,” he said, as he crossed the room quickly and wrapped his arms around me. “I'm glad you did, Cassie. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I needed to be here for you, me, and grandma. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else with you. You are my sister, and I love you. I will always be here for you. I got to see her. I was able to say goodbye, not the way you were, but still. Don't you ever be sorry for calling me. When you need me, I will always be there.”
The door opened not long after James had left, and I held my breath. Then I saw my mom, and I hurried toward her. She had tears streaming down her face, and my dad was walking next to her with his arms around her.
“Cassie,” she cried out, as she pulled me in and hugged me. “I didn't know. I swear I didn't. I never would have left her. I'm so sorry you had to see her like that. I'm so sorry, baby.”
“Mom,” I said. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you called me, so damn glad.”
�
��You were with her?” she asked, as her tears came faster. “She wasn't alone.”
“She wasn't alone,” I said, as I walked over to the couch with her and sat down right next to her. “I was right there. She was in my arms. I'm so glad I was here.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“She just looked tired, Mom,” I said. “She told me how proud she was and how much she loved us. Then she said she was ready to be with grandpa. I told her she wasn't. I tried to keep her awake until they got here. I swear I did. She was in my arms, and then she was gone. I'm sorry I couldn't help. I didn't know what to do. They pulled me away from her, but they couldn't help her. I yelled for them to help her, but they couldn't.”
By the time I was done, I was crying just as hard as she was.
“Cassie,” both Sammie and Parker said at the same time.
Sammie tried to pull me away from my mom, but I wouldn't let her. There was no way I was leaving her too. I wouldn't let them make me.
“No,” I said. “I'm staying right here. I love you, Mom.”
“What did they do?” my mom asked. “Where is she?”
“James knows,” I said. “They called him, and he came to be with me. He made me sit on the couch. Then he went to see her. I don't know what happened. I cried hard, so damn hard. Then I fell asleep.”
“James,” she said, as she looked around. “Where are the kids?”
“At the neighbors,” Parker said. “James just went to get the baby.”
Lucy came over and sat down next to my mom, while Sammie stayed on the floor in front of us.
“I'm so sorry,” Lucy said. “I can't believe this.”
“I shouldn't have left,” my mom said.
“You didn't know,” I said. “None of us did. I almost think she thought she'd be alone. She was so tired and weak. I begged her not to leave, Mom. I promise I did. She told me it was my job to keep our family together.”
My tears began falling just as hard as they had been earlier, when I watched them move around grandma.
“She made me promise,” I sobbed.
“Cassie,” Parker said.
“I miss her so much,” I cried. “I messed up. I never should have pushed you all away. I lost so much time with her.”
“I know,” Parker said, as he leaned down in front of me and took my hands in his. “But you came back. At least you came back. You were making up for that time. You saw her almost every day.”
“But I miss her,” I said, as I leaned forward and buried my face in his shirt.
“I know you do, princess, but I need you to calm down,” he said.
I turned to my mom and wrapped my arms around her again.
“She's really gone,” she cried.
“I can't believe it,” I whispered through my sobs.
“I'll be back,” Parker said, as he moved to stand.
“No,” I gasped out, as I reached out with one hand to grab him. “Don't leave.”
“I'm going to call your doctor,” he said.
“Her doctor,” my mom said.
“She's pregnant,” Sammie said.
“What?” my mom asked.
“Grandma knew,” I said. “She figured it out months ago.”
“Cassie,” my mom said.
“You know what I told her?” I asked, and she shook her head. “I told her I wasn't ready to deal with Lance.”
“Women,” Lance mumbled from under his breath.
“Cassie,” my mom said, and through her tears, I heard a tiny laugh.
“We found out today that we're having a girl,” I said, and my dad had come over to join us. “I told her. She was happy, Mom. She kept telling me she loved us all. Then she was gone.”
“Congratulations!” my mom said, as she looked between Parker and me. “Another baby.”
“It's grandma's fault,” Parker said, and I laughed, remembering again about the conversation I'd had with her.
“What?” my mom asked, as she gave Parker a strange look.
“She wanted a bigger gap,” he said.
“Oh my,” Lauren said, as she let out a laugh from across the room. “She totally did. I'd forgotten all about that.”
My mom stayed in my arms, as each person in the room rattled off one thing after the next that my grandma had said or done, and before I knew it, we were all laughing, including my mom. Grandma wasn't even there, but she was still keeping us entertained and together.
Chapter 21
Parker
The days that followed were so damn hard for me, so I couldn't even begin to imagine how much harder they were for the rest of the family. I'd known Cassie's grandma for a long while, but I hadn't really gotten to know her until I met Cassie. Lauren was the only other one that was in a position even close to mine. The rest of them had known her forever.
We went back to Michigan for her funeral so she could be buried next to her husband. I'd heard a lot of stories about him, and he sounded just as amazing as her. That was hard to imagine though. Could she really have found someone as great as she was? They said she had, and I believed them. I was just sorry that I'd never gotten to know him.
Seeing her was hard for me. She wasn't laughing and joking and putting us all in our places. Instead, she was peacefully resting, and she was beautiful. I stood before her and said my goodbyes, promising to take care of Cassie and our part of the great family she'd built.
That moment was the only one I'd been away from my wife's side the entire time. I took care of everything our kids needed, and I took care of her. Each of the kids were dealing with things in their own way, but they had each other, and they had us. We were all getting through it together. Knowing they had another baby coming helped just a little, and I was glad we'd waited to share the news.
We said goodbye to the most amazing woman I had ever met, aside from her granddaughter that is, and then we headed home, all of us.
As each day passed, things began, little by little, to return to the way they were, as close as they could get anyway. Nothing would ever be the same for any of us again. We'd had no time to prepare and most of us hadn't been able to say a proper goodbye, but we were a family, and we were in it together.
Cassie spent a lot of her time with her mom, and I was fine with that. She needed it as much as Carrie did. I was there to help them in any way they needed. I spent a large amount of my time at Sammie's place, so she could rest, recover, and spend time with her new baby before heading back to work, if you called playing baseball all day working that is. Sammie didn't, and neither did I.
Lance was up Cassie's ass any chance he got, but I was sure to let him know that I was taking very good care of my pregnant wife and my little one inside of her. When he backed off a bit, I was shocked, but I was also relieved. I was home, and I wasn't going anywhere. I would be the one checking on her and getting her what she needed, and I was damn sure there wouldn't be anyone else at her appointments with her but me.
Did I miss my team? Of course I did, but I was happier being with my family than I'd ever been on the field. Did we go to the games? Hell yeah we did, all of us. The wives laughed every time they saw us, and when they noticed Cassie's belly growing again, they were just as happy as we were. The Pirates were my family too. They had been for years, and they always would be. Lance, Scott, and James all felt the same way I did. It was obvious every single time we stood together to watch a game. Of course, Sammie was always standing right there with us, and Carrie would be standing right next to her. It was a great thing to see us all together, and every time we were there, we talked about grandma and what she would have been saying about each of the players, knowing she was watching the game too, only she was watching with her husband instead of us.
Just thinking about the stuff she'd said to me in some of her messages when I'd been playing had me laughing out loud.
“You thinking about her too, wannabe?” Cassie asked, as she walked over and looked up at me.
“Always, princess,” I
said, as I wrapped my arms around my woman and pulled her close. “It's impossible not to.”
“Yes, it is,” she said, as she let out a laugh of her own. “I love you, Parker.”
“Love you too, Cassie,” I said, as I leaned down, lifted her chin with my hand, and kissed her hard.
Then I turned her in my arms, pulled her back against my chest, rested my hands on her growing belly, and enjoyed every single second of the game, promising her, in my mind, that I'd never miss an important moment in my family's life again. I loved each of them more than I ever thought I could love, and I knew that I'd do anything I could to protect every single one of them.
Chapter 22
Carrie
Six Months Later
Things were going well for the whole family. They'd never be the same again, but we were all pushing forward, and things were looking up.
James and Cassie were home with their kids, while Sammie and Parker were spending more time than ever at Sammie's place. Between the two of them, they were doing some amazing things for the kids in our community, and they both loved it. Lance Jr. had been offered full-time work with the military, and he was so damn happy. Lauren was right there helping him, and she was also working on some things with Sammie and Parker as well. Scott and I were hanging out a lot more with Lance and Lucy, and we were enjoying every moment of our time together.
I went back to Michigan with Scott each time he needed to be there, and I stopped to visit my mom and dad as well as Scott's parents every time. No matter how many times we talked about selling our house there, not once had we been able to do it. So, we kept it. We'd both had so many memories in that house, and neither of us was willing to give them up.
Lance was checking in with Cassie every chance he could, and Parker was right there the rest of the time. The poor woman couldn't get a moment to herself, but she was happier than I had ever seen her before.
My mom's birthday was upon me, and I wanted so damn badly to visit her, but Cassie was so pregnant that she was about to burst at any moment. She told me to go, but I couldn't do it. I needed to be there for her, the baby, and my other grandchildren as well. I knew my mom would forgive me. Actually, if I had chosen to visit her over staying with Cassie, she would have surely done something to show me just how pissed she was with my decision. Family was everything to her. That was something we all knew.
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