by Ann Lister
Her eyes shifted toward the kitchen. “I've had male and female groupies hit on me.”
“And you were never tempted?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that.” Her eyes slammed back into his. “Okay, yes, I did it one time and I’ll never do it again. I found out the hard way that I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl. The intimacy means too much to me. I did it purely for revenge. I wanted Gary to know the kind of hurt he was making me feel every time I caught him with someone back-stage.”
“Did Gary get jealous?” he asked, the grin fading from his mouth.
“Yes, he did. But, in the end, it didn’t matter to me that I had hurt him. I was too disgusted with myself. I vowed then I’d never demean myself like that again. When I got home the next morning I packed what I could in a suitcase and left Gary, and that was the end of it. I filed for divorce a couple of weeks later.”
“You mentioned something about a drummer?”
Annie met his gaze. Her eyes stung with tears from reliving the memories of Gary’s infidelity. “I feel like you’re interviewing me.”
“That would be a switch; me being the interviewer.” He reached out and took her hand in his, kissing the knuckles. “I’m sorry. Forget about it. None of this is really any of my business. I hate it when people pry into my personal shit.”
“I met Joe after I left Gary. He was different from most men, he made me feel good about myself; which is something Gary never learned how to do. It lasted about six months. Short and sweet.”
“What happened?”
“One of our gigs got canceled so I decided to surprise him and show up at his show. Instead, I got the surprise. I caught him in the back room with a girl and that was the last time I saw him.”
Michael quietly gasped: “Wow.”
“Maybe now you can understand why I have no tolerance for groupies or men that cheat. Every man in my life - going back to my father, has been a liar and a cheat. I seem to be a magnet for them.” Annie pulled her fingers through her hair. She wondered if she would ever find a man strong enough to break that cycle.
“I’m sorry,” Michael said.
“Don’t be. It made me a stronger person,” she shrugged. “I don’t expect much from a man but I do expect loyalty and I know I’m worth it.”
“I have no doubt you are.”
She quizzically studied his expression. “Did the groupies break-up your marriage?”
Michael shook his head. “Well, I’m sure it didn’t help matters but I can honestly say my fidelity wasn’t the only issue that ruined my marriage. And I should also add that Beth wasn’t exactly faithful to me either.”
“If that was the case, then why did you get married?” she asked.
“We never should have gone down that path. It was a train wreck waiting to happen.” Michael sighed and dropped his gaze to his lap. “Listen, I don’t typically talk about this, it’s one of those personal areas of my life that I don’t usually share, but since you answered my prying questions, I feel I owe you the same.”
“You don’t have to.”
“No, I want to.” He shifted uneasily on the couch. “Beth and I were friends that did a lot of drugs together and on occasion ended up in bed. It never should have gone further than that, but stupidly, I allowed it to. She wanted to have a baby and kept pushing the marriage subject until I finally gave in to the idea. I figured it would be nothing more than another party, an excuse to do more drugs; which it was. But eventually the party had to end. Unfortunately, by the time that finally happened, my son was in the picture.”
“That’s really sad. Sounds so empty.”
“It was,” he said. “And expensive.”
“I’ve spent the last six months taking back control of my life,” she said with pride. “Figuring out who I am and what I want in life.” Annie looked him deep in the eyes. “I know exactly what I want now and I won’t ever settle for less again. It hurts too much.”
Michael rolled his head closer to hers on the back of the couch. “You’re right about what you said earlier.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You said if someone was in love it would be easy to be faithful.”
“Yes. I believe that’s true,” she answered.
“That’s probably why it’s always been easy for me to cheat.”
“What are you saying?” she asked.
He tipped his head back and gazed up at the sky. “You probably won’t believe this, Annie, but I’ve never been in love.”
She touched his shoulder. “Never? How could that be?”
He looked at her, serious and introspective. “Nope. Never. I’ve cared a lot about some of the women I’ve been with but I can’t say I’ve ever felt that ‘weak in the knees’, ‘can’t live without you’, feeling I’ve heard associated with being in love.”
“What about your wife?”
“Not even close. Don’t get me wrong, I obviously had feelings for her otherwise I never would have stayed with her as long as I did. But, it definitely wasn’t love.”
“Did she know?”
“Well, it’s not like I ever shouted it at her but I’m sure she must have known. It’s pretty obvious when someone’s heart isn’t in it.”
“I’m shocked,” she said, shaking her head.
“I thought you would be,” he chuckled. “I’ve never admitted that to anyone.” He reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “I haven’t given up hope though. I think there may still be time for me find my soul mate,” he smiled.
Annie sighed and closed her eyes. “Well, I sincerely hope you find her. But I have to say, now that you’ve told me all of this, I’m even more relieved you didn’t stay the other night.”
“Why?”
Annie’s lips curled. “Well, had you stayed…”
“The sex would have been phenomenal,” he interrupted with a sly grin.
Annie covered his mouth with her hand. “What makes you think that?” she asked, stunned he had been so blunt.
“Your kiss,” he replied, raising one eyebrow seductively.
“My kiss? What about my kiss?”
“I’ve heard people say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, I feel you can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss.” He leaned in toward her until their mouths were almost touching. “A kiss can be very revealing,” he said provocatively.
Annie closed her eyes. She could feel the heat from his breath and swallowed hard. “And what did my kiss reveal?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper.
His lips brushed up against hers. “A serious amount of chemistry between us.”
“Chemistry?” she sighed, feeling the tip of his tongue against her lips.
He pulled back slightly and peered at her through questioning eyes. “I suppose now you’re going to tell me you didn’t feel it?” he smiled.
“I could say that, but I’d be lying,” she replied, slipping her hand around the back of his neck. Then she pulled him against her mouth and kissed him. The fire between them flamed quickly and she melted into him. Their kiss lingered until Annie finally broke the seal.
“You have no idea how close I came the other night to breaking my one-night-stand rule with you,” she sighed. “I was weak but you saved me from myself by leaving.”
His lips touched hers again and hovered, tasting; taunting. “What makes you think the other night would have been a one-time thing?”
Annie opened her mouth and let him in again. “Your track record speaks for itself,” she said. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you who you are. Dangerous.”
“One night with you would never be enough. I’m sure of that.”
Hearing his response sent a shiver down her spine. She pulled away and put some space between them on the couch. “And then there are the rules of the contest to consider. You said we had to keep things professional. Right?”
“That’s true.”
“Then why did y
ou come here tonight?” she asked, her voice full of sadness.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I knew it was wrong when I was driving here but this is where I wanted to be.” He hung his head with regret. “I never should have let things go this far, Annie, and I’m sorry. I crossed the line the other night and I’m crossing it again by being here now,” he said, his forehead furrowing into a frown.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s really not that big a deal,” she lied. “So, we kissed a couple of times. Oh, and I believe you touched my breasts.”
“Very nice, by the way.”
“I could say the same about you too,” she blushed.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I don’t make a habit of forcing women to touch me but I was looking to make a point.”
“You certainly made your point,” she said. “But, what I’m trying to say is, you left before anything really happened so we can go on from here and get back to business.”
He looked at her intensely. “You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me,” she encouraged.
He shook his head. “I’m not sure you’d want to hear it.”
“Will it make you feel better to say it?”
“I don't know. Probably not,” he said. “Truth is, Annie, I have a serious need to see how the chemistry between us plays out but I'm afraid I'll hurt you somehow in the process and I don't want that to happen,” he said, looking away from her.
“I'm supposed to be working with you, not sleeping with you. Pretty selfish of me, isn't it?” he said, glancing at her. “When I'm in the same room as you, I feel like there is a huge magnet drawing us together. This 'thing' between us seems to have a life of its own. I don't know what to do about it and I also feel like I don't have control over it either. Probably not a good combination,” he laughed nervously, rubbing his forehead.
“I should be thrilled to hear you say these things but instead I feel sad because I know this is something we’re going to have to walk away from. I keep trying to tell myself, it’s for the best. It never would have worked,” she said, shifting on the couch.
She shook her head, trying to swallow emotions that insisted on spilling from her. “It feels very powerful which seriously makes me doubt I would have been strong enough to handle it. So, really, this is for the best.”
Michael touched her cheek. “I’m just trying to be honest with you.”
“I know, and I truly appreciate it,” she said. “But it’s so frustrating. I feel so happy when I’m with you but I know I’m not supposed to be with you and that makes me sad.” She looked at him. “I wish you could have been a big egomaniac, jerk so it would have been easy to tell you to hit the road…but you’re not.” She playfully shoved him. “Why’d you have to be so damn nice?!”
A grin curled Michael’s sensuous mouth. “When I met you, my first impression was that you were absolutely gorgeous but I expected that would be the extent of it. You know, something nice to look at but not much going on inside.”
“Oh, thanks!” She gave him another hard, playful shove and wiped the moisture from her eyes.
“No, seriously. Then, I started talking to you and something just clicked. Something in my head snapped and told me you were different. I could actually have a relevant conversation with you about stuff that really mattered.”
He moved in closer to her face. “You fascinated me,” he sighed against her mouth, softly kissing her. “And then this ‘chemistry beast’ reared its ugly head and I was lost.”
“Hmmmm,” Annie murmured against his lips.
He rubbed his nose against hers. “I don't know what to do with you, Annie,” he said with a laugh. “Well, actually I know exactly what I'd like to do with you, but I also know I'm not supposed to act on that impulse.”
“Part of me really wishes you would,” Annie whispered.
“You’re playing with fire, Annie.”
“What’s that old expression, if you can’t handle the heat you better take it into the bedroom?”
He grinned. “I don’t think that’s how it goes. I think there’s something about a kitchen and...” He kissed her, deep and soulful, closing his eyes. He had the feeling that he could keep kissing her forever. But then, that nagging piece of reality kept pouncing back into his thoughts. He pulled away slightly.
“Brian isn’t very happy with me,” he stated quietly, as if reminding himself of the ‘rules’ he had to play by.
“Brian? What do you mean?”
“I was at Brian’s house the other night. We were discussing the bands we were sponsoring. Then I began talking about your band and the changes I wanted to make. Somewhere in that conversation it must have become clear to him that my interest in you was more than what the contest rules would consider being, shall we say, ‘proper’. Needless to say, our conversation went down hill from there with Brian offering an opinion that I didn’t necessarily want to hear.”
“Oh no! What did he say?”
Michael smirked and looked her square in the eye. “He told me to keep my dick in my pants or I would jeopardize the whole contest and risk the disqualification of your band. So what did I do? A few days after that very conversation, I’m here with my tongue down your throat. Not a very smart move on my part - or very professional.”
Annie sat back deeper into the couch. “We’re only talking about a couple of kisses. But it’s probably good we stop now before it goes any further.” The words came from her mouth but she didn’t believe any of them. “Besides, chemistry or no chemistry, I’m probably not your ‘type’,” she shrugged.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, as if he’d been insulted.
She paused, considering her words carefully. “I don’t have nearly the amount of life experience you have and we certainly don’t travel in the same circles.”
“Life experience?” he scrunched his face.
“You know what I mean,” she said. “But you would have figured that out for yourself, had you stayed the other night.”
He reached for her long hair and pulled it through his fingers. It felt like rich spun gold, the softness of which he couldn’t believe. He watched each strand as it slipped from his hand. “Annie,” his voice was soft and tender. “The amount of partners you may or may not have had has nothing to do with skills, if that’s what you’re implying. It’s all about the chemistry between two people. If there isn’t any, then sleeping with someone is nothing more than fucking for the sport of it. That’s the truth of it. It’s recreational, like shooting pool at the local bar: meaningless.”
Michael moved in close, pressing his mouth against the heat of her cheek. “On the other hand, if there is chemistry, and the mind and body are working as one, it's nirvana. It's like a well-written symphony or, better yet, perfect... sheet music.”
Annie sighed. Her fingers clung tightly to the back of his neck. “Sheet music?”
“Yeah, music between the sheets,” he replied with a laugh.
“I like the sound of that,” she said, almost breathless.
Michael ran his finger tips across her face. Her skin was smooth and hot to the touch. It was nearly flawless with the exception of a few light brown freckles adorning the bridge of her nose.
“Annie, you may think of me as being worldly but that’s not how I see myself. I grew up in a small town, not much different than this one. And although I have what some might consider a ‘city job’, I still consider myself to be small town and I’m comfortable with that.”
His lips curled into a seductive smile. “And in case you’re wondering, I’ve never experienced ‘perfect sheet music’. So far, it’s been strictly recreational.”
Again his mouth reached for hers, his fingers twisted into the depths of her hair. She was close to delirium in the sweetest sense. Then her eyes fluttered open.
“Michael,” she whispered, smooth and velvety.
He met her stare and wet his full lips. “What?” His eyes were thoughtful and reflective,
almost inviting her into his soul.
“I could really fall hard for you,” she sighed against his mouth. “And that scares the hell out of me. I don’t want to get hurt again.”
Michael pressed his mouth against her ear. “I would never intentionally hurt you, Annie,” he sighed.
His lips taunted her for several painful moments, gently brushing over her face as if he was deciding whether or not he should stop. Then his eyelids fell and he opened his mouth, slowly reaching to taste her fully. Her lips felt amazingly soft and pliable to him, fitting against his perfectly. His tongue met hers and a feast began until Michael broke the suction that held their mouths welded together.
“We’re crossing over that line again, Annie.”
“I know,” she answered, kissing his throat, her hands fumbling to pull off his t-shirt before she came to her senses, “but maybe just this one time.”
When her fingers reached his bare skin, he found her mouth again, devouring her with more urgency. “You’re supposed to push me away,” he said, pulling her tighter against him.
“I don’t want to.”
He kissed her again. “You do realize what you’re risking, right?” he asked.
“I’ll take my chances,” she signed, pulling him down upon her.
“It could mean being disqualified from the contest,” he said, sliding a hand beneath her shirt to explore.
“What contest?” she teased.
Her fingers disappeared into the long waves of his hair, while his lips burned a trail of hot kisses down the length of her throat. “One of us should show a little self control before it’s too late,” he exhaled against her breasts.
“Do you want to stop?” she asked quietly.
“No, I don’t. But I will if you want me to. I’d understand.”
Annie pulled his face back up to her mouth while her fingers danced down his chiseled torso until she found a soft line of hair curling over his belt buckle. “Take me to bed,” she sighed breathless, as she released the button of his jeans and inched down the zipper.
CHAPTER SIX
Annie slid off the couch and held her hand out for him. He stood slowly and took it. She could see reluctance in his eyes as she pressed herself against him.
