The garden is the safest place for her. No man will see her there.
“I could plant some trees.” She nods.
“You could.”
A female figure stands by our table. I raise my eyes, meeting Evelyn’s glance.
“I wasn’t sure,” Evelyn says, “but it is you.”
I don’t want her here. Reagan shouldn’t know about her. Ever. It could upset her.
“And this is your daughter?” Evelyn tilts her head towards Reagan.
“My wife,” I say.
Evelyn’s face does not betray any emotions. She holds a hand out. “Evelyn.”
Reagan squeezes her hand with hers. “Reagan. Nice to meet you, Evelyn. Do you want to join us?”
Fuck no. I shake my head, but Evelyn nods and drops into the chair next to me. She orders a cup of coffee for herself.
“So, Gabriel,” Evelyn says. “You never mentioned you were married.”
“Are you two friends?” Reagan asks.
Evelyn’s lips curl into a half-smile. “She’s adorable.” She nods. “Yes, we are friends, sweetie.”
“I remember you,” Reagan says. She blinks a few times and shakes her head and then rubs the edge of her hand against her forehead. “I need the toilet.” She rises to her feet.
“Go,” I say. “But don’t get lost.” My voice sounds part serious, part humorous.
Something is wrong, but I can’t use my archangel to find out what exactly when there’re humans around me.
As Reagan passes me, I grab her wrist and plant a kiss on her knuckles. “Hurry. I can’t live without you.”
She nods, but her eyes seem kind of imperceptive. Her face has a strange pallor. Pulling her hand out of mine, she blinks as though she has sand between her eyelids and rushes over to the bathroom.
Evelyn turns her face to mine. “Wow. You can be sweet. How long—“
“I’ve been married for three months.”
“You look happy.”
“I am happy for the first time in my life.”
Evelyn nods. “She’s very young.”
“She looks young. What do you want?”
“You haven’t answered my phone calls. You haven’t given me any reports. You just vanished. I need the information, that’s all.”
“There’s nothing to report. I sensed the scumbag commit a suicide.”
“Really?”
“That’s all I know.”
She nods several times. “I thought…”
“You were wrong.”
“What if I needed you? Your service I mean.”
Yes, I’ve always liked her because she can behave with dignity. She doesn’t beg, doesn’t swear, doesn’t make any drama.
“I’ll text you the number of another good psychic,” I say.
“Perfect. Is he as good-looking as you?” She flashes me a flirty smile.
“Uri is very good-looking.”
“Uri? Is he one of the club members?”
“Yes, but you haven’t met him yet.”
Mike and I were in the bar while the rest of the boys had one of Lilith’s bastards in the basement. Evelyn chose that particular evening to sniff around us so I had to divert her attention. Our cooperation was born on that evening.
“I’ve met only Mike and you,” she says. “And the girls. A lot of girls. Is your wife, you know, happy with—“
“Evelyn, listen, my wife is pregnant. I’m busy, you know.”
“I just wanted to say that wives don’t like other girls, you know. I’m just trying to be nice to you.”
“I know, but I’m busy.”
And Reagan should have come back from the bathroom at least five minutes ago.
“It was nice to see you, Evelyn.” I rise to my feet.
“I wish you happiness, Gabriel.” A genuine smile crosses her face, making her look younger.
“I wish you the same.”
I move back, turn around and rush towards the bathroom. I knock on the white door. “Reagan?” Nothing. I bang on the door as uneasiness strangles my throat. “Reagan, baby, everything fine?” My voice is sharp and loud.
Silence answers me. I sweep my foot and kick the door open. It bangs against the wall. My eyes roam over the bathroom, but I can’t see Reagan.
I move back, bouncing off a soft body. I turn around.
Evelyn raises her eyebrows. “You okay?”
“She’s gone.” My voice cracks.
“Your wife?”
“Yes, my wife.”
“I saw her walk into the bathroom, but I didn’t see her walk out.” Evelyn steps towards the bathroom and peers inside. “There’s no window in here. She couldn’t just vanish.”
I move back.
“Wait,” Evelyn says. “Wait. My God, she must have thought… It’s my fault. I’ll help you.”
“She’s probably in the forest.”
“Where?”
“I need to hurry, Evelyn.”
“She can’t be in the forest.”
“There’s not much time left.”
Reagan
Moss bends under my feet. It’s cold and moist against my naked feet. Tears blind me.
I remember.
He brought Evelyn to the forest. They kissed and laughed and touched. They lay down on the moss, clenched together.
“Do you want to come back to me?” my mother whispers in the humid aromatic exhale of the forest.
“I can’t go back. My baby…”
“We could take your baby with us.”
“I don’t know.” I take a convulsive breath as tears trickle down from my eyes.
She isn’t yanking me back to her. This is because I don’t belong to her any longer. I belong to myself. She can only ask and I can say a no.
“You thought you were the only one?” she says.
“I did.”
I keep forgetting my previous life with each day that passes. I keep losing my ability to remember. It’s like I’m more and more of Reagan and less and less of a forest spirit. My knowledge is fading. My memories are vanishing. But Evelyn’s face has brought some of the memories back to my head.
I sit down by the roots of an ancient tree, pulling my knees to my chest.
It hurts so much. Burns. Makes me feel breathless. I am only for him. He should be only for me. He isn’t. Wasn’t.
The forest hums and rings and rustles. The scents of plants and animals dance around me.
“Come, my child.”
“Just a moment. I need to think.”
Thinking clearly is difficult now. Making decisions is difficult now. There’s too many emotions inside me now, too many emotions in general and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Now, I feel like my emotions are flooding me. They stab me, strip me of oxygen, and make me want to do bad selfish things.
A grey wolf walks towards me. He stops at my side and nuzzles his nose against my arm.
“Coyote,” I say.
He puts his mouth on my knee and wags his tail. I smooth my hand over his head. His fur is damp and smells of wind and rain.
I remember the times when Coyote wasn’t here. There was only her—my mother.
There was no other choice, no freedom, no selfishness. There was only duty.
Coyote gave the world freedom. He makes the world a better place every day.
“Reagan.”
I shudder and raise my eyes. I see Evelyn. Her face is pale and she’s holding a gun in her hand.
“Reagan, sweetheart, don’t move.” Evelyn’s voice falters.
“Coyote won’t hurt you,” I say.
“Coyote?”
“Yes, his name is Coyote. He’s very nice.”
“Who the fuck names a wolf Coyote? That’s ridiculous.”
His mom, Amaia, and his dad, Brass, chose such a nice name for him. Coyote is Alpha’s son.
Coyote growls and Evelyn steps back. Her lower lip quivers as her hand drops.
“I’m sorry, Mr Wolf,” Evelyn says.
Coy
ote nuzzles his wet nose against my cheek and walks off.
Evelyn rushes towards me, putting the gun behind her back. She sits on her heels. “Are you alright? We’ve been searching for you for two days.” She strokes my head. “Gabriel is so so worried about you.” She looks into my eyes like she’s examining my irises. “My God, where have you been, sweetie? Gabriel’s worried sick about you.”
“You like him?”
“I do, but that doesn’t matter, sweetie, believe me.”
“He likes you too.”
“Yes, he likes me like I’m his colleague. He loves only you.” She cups my face in both her hands, and I sense goodness radiate from her. It blends with sadness. “Let’s get you out of here.”
I see Coyote emerge from behind a bush. He moves closer to Evelyn and nudges the side of her chest with his mouth. A squeal leaves her mouth.
“Coyote wants to say hello,” I say.
Evelyn takes a sharp breath. “Well, hello, Mr Wolf.”
I stroke him and Evelyn watches me with suspicion.
“You can stroke him too,” I say.
“You think?”
“He likes you.”
Coyote growls at me and Evelyn shudders. Well, I should probably keep my mouth shut.
The wall of bushes waves, and a tall figure jumps out from behind it. I recognise it as Gabriel. He strides towards me as Evelyn moves aside. He leans over me and scoops me up into his arms. My eyes roll back into the back of my head.
“Don’t ever do this again, Reagan,” he says, his voice sounding menacing. “I have no authority over her, you know this.”
“Calm down, Gabriel,” Evelyn says. “She looks fine. Jeez, you can be scary. And crazy.”
Gabriel draws me closer to him, brushing his lips against my forehead. “I forbid you to do this again, Reagan.”
“Gabriel, what’s wrong with you?” Evelyn says in a sharp voice. “She—“
He looks at her, and I see her cringe into herself.
“Gabriel,” I squeak.
“We’ll talk later, young lady,” he says.
Chapter 12
Reagan
Gabriel’s mouth lets out a cloud of vapour. My body sways in rhythm with his strides. Evelyn is walking beside him while Coyote is walking beside her.
“She’s not your possession, you know,” Evelyn says. “You can’t just—“
“She’s my wife,” Gabriel growls.
“Alright,” Evelyn says.
Twigs scrunch under Gabriel’s feet and leaves rustle.
“Why is that wolf going with us?” Evelyn says as she picks up the pace.
I watch her back as Coyote follows her and nudges her ass with his mouth.
Evelyn stops and turns around. “My God, what’s going on here?”
Coyote wags his tail and walks off.
Evelyn exhales as if with relief as we pass her, and then she catches up with us. We walk out of the forest and I see a car parked on the side of the cobblestone road. Gabriel opens the door and puts me into the back seat. He sits beside me as the smell of leather settles in my nostrils.
Evelyn settles herself behind the steering wheel.
“To the Salvation Ghosts’ clubhouse,” Gabriel says as he kisses my head. “So, you won’t escape like this again. There’ll be too many bodyguards to watch your every step, Reagan.”
“Reagan is not a little girl.”
“You don’t understand anything, Evelyn, so you’d better be quiet,” Gabriel says.
Evelyn is nice and Gabriel is rude. I shake his arm even though his anger is almost tangible and every molecule of my body can sense it.
“Yes, you’re right,” Evelyn says. “I don’t understand anything. And in all honesty, it’s all very weird.”
“Evelyn helped you,” I say, but Gabriel ignores me.
Evelyn starts the engine as Gabriel takes a deep breath. His forehead wrinkles, and I see a few lines under his eyes like he’s a human deprived of sleep.
“Thank you, Evelyn,” Gabriel says, interrupting the silence among us.
“You’re welcome,” she responds.
The passenger door swings open, and Coyote tumbles in. He is in human form. Naked. Evelyn lets out a sharp scream.
“Fuck,” she yells. “What’s going on here? I mean it. Gabriel, what the fuck?”
“Calm down, officer,” Coyote says. His voice has an intriguing raspy tinge. “I thought I could visit my brothers, that’s all.”
Evelyn turns to us. “You know him?”
“He’s okay,” Gabriel says.
“He’s naked,” Evelyn says. “And his dick… My God.”
“He’s okay, Evelyn,” Gabriel says with an inkling of irritation.
Coyote combs his short brown hair with his fingers. “You’re Evelyn, right?” He leans towards her and sniffs at her head. “You’re really pretty, Evelyn. Really pretty.”
“My God,” Evelyn shrieks.
“Drive,” Gabriel says.
“With that young caveman beside me?” Evelyn’s voice rises to a dramatic peak.
Coyote is a hairy beast, but he’s very nice. I think he’s very handsome.
“Drive,” Gabriel growls, and she shudders.
The car pulls forward in a few jumps like it’s a leaping frog. Gabriel plants me on his lap and wraps his arms around me. The car moves slowly, and it’s more smooth now. I see Evelyn take a few deep breaths.
I see that Coyote can’t tear his eyes off her. He wants to eat her. He wants to do dirty things with her.
“So, Evelyn.” Coyote combs his hair again as his neck muscles twitch. “Are you single?”
Evelyn lets out a groan.
Gabriel removes his cut and then his t-shirt that he throws at Coyote.
I peer at him, but Gabriel pulls me closer to him and covers my eyes with his palm. I’ve seen Gabriel’s cock, and apparently it was okay, but watching Coyote’s cock is not okay, I guess.
“So, Evelyn,” Coyote says. “You want to get married or something? If you’re single of course?”
“Be quiet, young caveman,” she hisses. “I’m trying to focus on driving.”
“I am single,” Coyote says.
“My God,” Evelyn groans.
“I like real women with real curves,” Coyote says and howls. “I could give your curves a lot of attention, Evelyn.”
“Gabriel,” Evelyn says, “I’ll slap him, I swear. Do something.”
“He’s okay,” Gabriel says. “No need to be nervous.”
I pull Gabriel’s hand off my face. I see Evelyn’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. Her irises flicker with yellow similar to Coyote’s. She doesn’t notice that. Gabriel’s eyebrows rise, but he says nothing. I decide to keep quiet too.
Coyote turns his face to us. “She loves me.” He winks at me.
“Brother,” Gabriel barks a warning.
Evelyn mumbles something to herself.
The drive takes us about half an hour. Evelyn parks in front of the Salvation Ghosts’ clubhouse, and I see the others waiting outside.
Gabriel is the first to get out. He pulls me into his arms and carries me over to the clubhouse and then upstairs to his bedroom. He lays me on the bed.
“How are you feeling?” He asks as he perches on the mattress.
“I’m fine.” I sit, cross-legged.
“Like hell. Talk to me.” He rises to his feet and grabs a bottle of spring water from the side table.
I think he wants me to tell him about my emotions. “I think I was jealous.”
“I noticed.” His forehead wrinkles as he takes a deep breath and shoves the bottle in my hand. “Reagan, Evelyn is just a friend. We used to work together and sometimes… It doesn’t matter, never mattered.” He kicks off his boots and sits on his heels opposite me.
“I know.” I nod several times. “She’s nice. And now, I like her. I just wish I hadn’t remembered. Everything would be easier. But, it’s fading, so I think I’m fine.”
; “Good. And don’t ever do this again.” He sounds like there’s no life inside him.
I can sense how much I’ve hurt him and it breaks my heart. I thought it was anger, but no, it was his fear about me.
“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I still don’t know so many things about myself, my emotions. Nobody has taught me to deal with emotions.”
“I understand. It’s just that… Not like this.” His voice halts.
I move closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. “I will never leave you.”
He nods, his eyes glassy. “Talk to me, okay? Talk to me when you’re struggling with something.”
“I will.”
“Don’t vanish again.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
He strokes my head. “There were other women before you, Reagan. I had fun with them, that’s all.”
“But you have fun with me too.”
“Yes, a lot of fun.” His lips slide down my temple as he sweeps a few wisps of my hair away from my face. “It’s the kind of fun you can have only with your beloved wife. Do you understand? There’s only you.” He kisses my lips. “And our baby.” He kisses me harder, and my lips sting. “The past is gone, baby. There’s only the present and future. Our present and future.”
“I didn’t want to go back to her, Gabriel. I just wanted to be alone for a moment.”
He puts his hands on my head. “Promise me, you’ll never ever go to the forest again.”
“I won’t go there, I promise.”
I don’t want him to be worried again. He doesn’t like the forest anymore, so I shouldn’t like it either.
“I’ll get you something to eat,” he says.
“I want to take a shower first.” I stroke his head. “With you.”
I kiss his lips because I feel I should kiss him a lot now. He wraps his arms around me and grunts.
“You’re my life, Reagan. I can’t live without you.”
He has such beautifully human needs now. I’m going to accommodate all those needs. I love being a human as much as he does.
I pull him into the bathroom and strip. I let him crush me in his embrace in the shower cabin. I whisper my love to him over and over again. We go to our bed, and I spread my legs for him. He needs it desperately. I need it so I can show him that I’m his for eternity.
Chapter 13
Gabriel
I pull my four-month-old son to my bare chest whilst Reagan grabs my one-year-and-a half-old daughter and smothers her with kisses. My two girls giggle and squeak, but it’s heaven to my ears.
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