Again she nodded.
“So now I can cut one for you. Knives can be used for good purposes.”
Her face cleared for an instant, then clouded again. “But it is going to make you steal, to pay for it. That’s a bad thing, too.”
She could always sting his conscience. Caelan wished she’d never witnessed his trade with the Neika.
“You’re wrong,” he said. “I have some money. I’ll put it in Father’s earnings box to pay for what I take. Fair enough?”
She thought this over. “I guess so. But shouldn’t you ask him?”
“No. And make sure you don’t mention this to anyone.
It’s my secret, my business. You have to keep quiet. Now promise.”
Stubbornness entered her eyes, but finally she nodded. “I promise.”
“Good. Now run along. I have things to do before we can go play.”
She scampered off, her bright cloak swinging around her. Caelan snorted to himself and patted the dagger at his side. Bad luck indeed. He was making good luck for himself with the accomplishment of each small step in his plan.
Stealing the herbs was surprisingly easy. All he had to do was wait until Beva was outside the house, then saunter into the workroom where Gunder was busily inscribing recipes on parchment. He told Gunder that Beva wanted him to come at once.
Blinking and obedient, Gunder hurried away, leaving his pen still wet with ink and his work scattered on the table.
Most of the cabinets were unlocked. Pulling out a leather rucksack from beneath his tunic, Caelan made his selections quickly, pulling out small flasks from the rear of the rows where they were less likely to be missed.
He selected simple concoctions for common ailments such as fever, tooth pain, wart removal, wound cleanser, and some of the salves. Some of the supplies were low, as though Gunder and Beva had been busy with other matters. Caelan didn’t care. Keeping a wary lookout in case either of the two came back, he worked as quickly as he could. When the rucksack was satisfactorily filled, he laced down the top and slung it over his shoulder.
True to his word, he paused by the earnings box and tried to lift the lid. It was locked. Caelan’s mouth twisted. Trust Gunder to guard it so zealously. As though anyone in the hold would steal.
But even as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the tug of temptation. Better to put his trust in money he could clench in his fist than in the hope of receiving a gift from beneath spirits.
Caelan hesitated, his thumb sliding across the heavy, iron-banded lid. He thought he could pry it open with the dagger.
The sound of approaching footsteps made him glance up.
Breathing an oath, he ducked outside and behind the open door just in time to avoid Gunder’s return. Peering through the crack below the hinge, Caelan saw the assistant shaking his head in apparent puzzlement.
Caelan frowned at him. If Gunder had only stayed away five more minutes, Caelan’s pockets would have been full. Yes, and he’d be a true thief as well, whispered an accusing voice in his head.
He hurried away on silent feet. Less than a half-hour later he had filled a second pack with warm layers of clothing, his warmest fur-lined traveling boots, a tinderstrike, a small cooking pot filched from the kitchen earlier, and a bundle of dried jerky taken from the larder stores. Glancing around his small, plain room for the last time, he felt a pang of homesickness already.
Half angrily he shook it off. This was no time to go soft.
From a tiny casket of rosewood that had belonged to his mother, he withdrew a round bronze mirror she had bought from the Choven many years before. It was spell forged to conjure up anyone’s likeness on command.
Mother, Caelan thought and watched the cloudy surface of the mirror slowly clear. Her face so loving and kind smiled at him briefly before fading away. He drew in a deep breath and slipped the mirror into his pocket. He did not want to forget either his mother or little Lea, the two people he loved most. The other item in the casket was an old medallion of the goddess Merit, her round sunny features stamped into the worn metal. As a child he had worn the medallion around his neck on a thong.
He slipped it on now, breathing a small, surreptitious prayer to the goddess to protect him. Feeling half-reassured and half-embarrassed, he kissed the medallion and tucked it beneath his tunic. When she was alive, his mother would never let him outside the walls without wearing it. When he went to Rieschelhold he had left it behind, feeling too grown-up to need it. Now he knew better.
He put on a fur-lined tunic over his regular one, with the dagger belted on in between the layers. For once he didn’t forget his gloves, which he tucked in the pocket of a capacious fur cloak. Settling the garment over his shoulders, he arranged the folds to conceal the packs and ventured outside with a fast beating heart and a mouth dry as dust.
This time, his escape wouldn’t fail.
Chapter Ten
DANCING UP AND down with impatience, Lea was waiting for him at the gate. A food basket stood at her feet with a canteen lying atop it.
When she saw Caelan coming, she began waving for him to hurry.
He wasn’t about to do so and risk anyone glimpsing what he carried beneath his cloak. Feeling self-conscious, Caelan crossed the courtyard, pausing only at a barrel to take out a pair of apples for later. Slipping them into his pocket, he grinned at Lea.
“You took forever,” she said. “It’ll be dusk before we get there.”
“Don’t exaggerate. We’ve plenty of time.”
He glanced past her at Raul, who was waiting to open the gates.
“You two be careful,” the man warned. “Out mucking around in the forest. Ain’t a time for being too far from the walls, for all what those Neika said.”
“We’ll be careful,” Caelan said.
“And you be back well before twilight.”
An involuntary shiver swept through Caelan. If all went well, he would never be back. He frowned, wishing he could tell Raul goodbye. This man had taught him how to ride, had saddled ponies for him, had shown him how to oil and mend lack during long winter afternoons.
Caelan wished he could tell all of them goodbye. Anya would never forgive him for leaving her without a word. As for Old Farns, still unconscious in the infirmary .. . Caelan bit his lip and stepped through the gates quickly before he could lose his nerve.
“Wait!” Lea called, struggling with the heavy food basket. She picked it up and dropped it, nearly spilling its contents. “Help me with this.”
Caelan didn’t pause. “You wanted a picnic. You bring it.”
“Caelan!”
That time he did glance back and had to laugh at her dragging the food basket. It made a wavy furrow in the snow. Raul shut the gates with a casual wave, and Caelan’s heart clenched inside him.
He waved back, but the gates were already closed and Raul didn’t see.
Caelan’s eyes stung a moment; then he steeled himself and hurried back to hand the rucksack containing the medicines to Lea. In exchange he picked up the food basket, flinging his cloak back over his left shoulder to free his arm.
At the designated tree, he took the rucksack from her and stuck it in the fork of the trunk for the Neika. Then he pulled up the hood of Lea’s cloak and tied the strings for her. She had on fur-lined boots and gloves and looked like a tiny imp as she skipped and clapped her hands in excitement.
He wished he could take her with him, but that was not possible.
She tugged at his hand. “Come on, Caelan. Come on!”
The edge of the forest curved away from them in a dark green line, a hundred yards away from the walls. Snow lay white and pure, dazzling in the sunshine.
“I’ll race you to the larch tree,” he said, pointing.
With a squeal, she broke free of his grip and ran with all her might, floundering quickly in the deep snow. Caelan gave her a head start, then followed. His pack and heavy clothing slowed him down, but he was able to catch up with her easily. He stayed on her heel
s, threatening to pass her every time she slowed down. She kept churning, short legs pumping hard, and he let her beat him to the larch.
Dashing into the undergrowth, he caught her by the tail of her cloak and flung her bodily into the soft fronds of a nearby spruce. Snow flew in all directions, and she bounced on the branches gleefully, her laughter ringing around them.
“I beat you! I beat you!” she boasted.
His breath steamed about his face. “Sure. I’m carrying everything like a pack mule.”
She laughed. “I don’t know why you wanted to bring so much. We won’t starve before we—”
“Show me the cave quickly,” he said, switching the subject. “We don’t have all day.”
She took him a different direction than he’d expected, to a part of the woods where he’d never found any ice caves in his own explorations.
Lea walked across a stream, her boots making the ice crack ominously. Caelan jumped it rather than trust his weight on its surface.
She ducked under a fallen log that lay across the shallow gorge and pointed. “Up there. See?”
Straightening beside her and combing twigs from his hair, Caelan saw the mouth of the cave ahead. The entrance was tucked into a tall bank along the frozen stream, where mossy rocks jutted from the earth in a ridge swathed with dead vines and undergrowth. Unlike most ice caves, which had rock entrances and tunnels leading to the ice hidden deep within, this one was frozen to its very mouth. Concealed in the shadows of the bank, it looked murky and cold.
Caelan’s heart pumped faster. “Stay here,” he whispered.
Lea elbowed ahead of him. “It’s my cave. I’ll show you—”
“No! I’ll check it first. You wait until I say it’s safe.”
She glared at him. “It’s safe—”
“Lurkers,” he said in warning, and she subsided.
Cautiously he pushed ahead, his feet silent in the snow. He sniffed the air but smelled no den. Pausing, he collected a stout stick and brandished it. When he reached the cave, he saw where ice had flowed in half-melted slush from the mouth, then refrozen like a tongue. His senses alert, Caelan focused a moment to see if any animal or demon waited inside. He even dared use sevaisin, the joining.
Nothing.
He crept up to the mouth and peered in. The air inside the cave felt clammy cold. It smelled only of ice and damp, nothing else. He poked the stick inside and banged it on the ice-covered walls.
Nothing stirred, fled, or jumped out at him.
Relaxing, Caelan beckoned to Lea, who came hopping without the food basket.
“I told you it was safe,” she said and ducked inside.
Annoyed by her lack of caution, Caelan shed his cloak and pack and followed her. “Lea, I should go first—”
“Hush.” She gestured at him with equal annoyance. “You’ll scare them.”
“Who?”
“The earth spirits. Be quiet so they can know I’m here.”
He crouched just inside the entrance, tucking his hands under his arms for extra warmth. Maybe he shouldn’t have removed his cloak.
The cave was silent, gloomy, and cold. The inside was completely encased in ice. Even the floor offered a slippery surface.
Lea crept farther in, taking one careful step at a time to avoid slipping and falling.
“It’s good,” she said at last. “We’re welcome here. Come on.”
He scrambled up, almost slipping, and followed her with his hand on the wall for support. The farther in, the taller the cave became until Lea could stand upright. He hunched along, his hair brushing the icy ceiling.
“Not too far,” he warned her. “I didn’t bring a lamp.”
“Silly,” she said impatiently. “I’ve been here lots of times.”
He sighed and abandoned the attempt to be responsible. She didn’t want him cautioning her constantly.
“How far to the emeralds?” he asked.
“Hush. They’re a gift. You can’t demand them.”
Hard not to do so when his need for them was so great. He glanced around him and wondered how he was supposed to appeal to the earth spirits.
“Well, do we look for them or do we—”
She stopped and glanced back at him. “Stop asking questions. We have to stay in the cave long enough for them to decide whether they will give us gifts or not. You’re making everything harder.”
Accepting her chastisement, he rolled his eyes. “I’ll be quiet.”
“Good.”
Finally they emerged in a small chamber about the size of Lea’s sleeping room. It was still too low for Caelan to stand upright, and icicles hung down from the ceiling, some flowing all the way to the floor in frozen forms and shapes that made him smile in wonder. Natural light filled the chamber, but although he looked around he never saw the opening.
“Isn’t it pretty?” Lea asked, her face glowing. “The cave itself is a treasure. The earth and ice spirits made this one special.”
He nodded, enjoying her pleasure. No wonder the earth spirits had given her precious jewels. Who else could appreciate the natural beauty of this place except a child like Lea?
“This is my palace,” she told him, shifting into her own land of pretend. She launched into a whole story then, telling him of all the imaginary rooms that lay beyond, and where her guards slept, and where her servants worked, and where her stables stood, and how many beautiful steeds she owned. She described fabulous white horses that could fly and carry her to any corner of the earth.
She had earlier gathered stones, twigs, and pieces of bark twisted into play cups and platters. These she brought out from behind the ice formations and served him a pretend feast as a welcome guest.
“Wait,” Caelan said. “We brought food. Why not eat some of it now? We don’t have to pretend.”
The light momentarily faded from her face. “That food is for you to take when you leave us,” she said sadly.
His heart turned over, and he realized he shouldn’t have assumed he could keep such an important secret from her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“Take me with you.”
He groaned a little and pushed her away. “I can’t.”
“Why not? Don’t you love me?”
He struggled to master himself. “Of course,” he said, and saw disbelief hot in her eyes. Dismay rose in him. How could he explain? “Lea, it has nothing to do with how much I love you. If I took you, Father would have to come after us. You belong to him by law until you are married.”
She tossed her bright head. “I’m not going to be married.”
“Well, even so. I’m going far away. It will be a hard, dangerous trip.”
“You’re going to join the army,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “That’s why you bartered for the dagger that has killed men. You want to kill too.”
Angrily he turned away from her. “Now you sound like Father.”
“It is a bad thing, Caelan. You know it. We have been taught to respect all life, to honor it.”
“I know,” he said, staring at the floor. He sighed. “I know.”
Silence fell between them, and he was grateful for it. He had no words to explain this to her. It was as though the world called him forth, drawing him through a gateway toward exploration and adventure. Overmastered by it, he could do nothing except obey.
“I will pray for you,” Lea said at last, sounding far older than her age. She pulled a little pouch out from beneath her clothing and slipped its thong over her head. “You will need money, and since you did not rob Father’s earnings box like you wanted to, I will give you my emeralds.”
“No!” he said immediately, then saw her face and softened his tone. “Thank you, but they are yours. I cannot take them.”
“But I want you to have them.”
“No,” he said gently, putting the loop back over her head and patting the small cloth pouch. “You will need
them someday.”
“But—”
“Not a man in a thousand comes across such a treasure in a lifetime. Your stones are a precious gift. You must honor that by keeping them for yourself. They are not for me. And how do you know I wanted to steal from the earnings box?”
She grinned, distracted by the question as he had intended. “You have no secrets from me!”
He caught her hands firmly in his and squeezed them. “But you must keep mine, promise? You will tell no one where I have gone, even if you guess it.”
Grief darkened her blue eyes. Slowly she nodded. “I don’t want you to go. You said you would never leave me.”
“I have to.” Her pain entered his own heart, and he kissed her hands.
Her tears fell onto their gripped hands, hot on their cold flesh.
“I’m sorry, little one,” he said. “I cannot keep that promise.”
She shivered and he straightened.
“Are you cold?”
She nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “We’ve been here long enough. If they’re going to give you any emeralds, they’ve had plenty of time. Look close as we go out.”
His excitement rose again in spite of his own doubts. He was hardly worthy of any gifts from the spirits, but maybe worth had nothing to do with it. He followed her out, staring at the ground carefully.
He found nothing by the time he reached the mouth of the cave. Ruefully, he shook his head and crouched down. “Well, we tried,” he said, swallowing his disappointment. It had been too much to hope for anyway. “I’m sorry we couldn’t come back sooner while the earth spirits were in the giving mood.”
“They have to be kind to you too,” she said fretfully, disappointment sharp in her voice. She stamped her foot. “You’re my brother. They have to like you just as much as me.”
“Lea, we need to go. I have to get you home, and then I must start on my journey.”
“Not yet.” Bending over, she circled around him and headed back into the cave. “Don’t give up so easily.”
He waited, knowing this was just her tactic to keep him there as long as possible.
She searched, but found nothing. Finally she bumped against his side and sighed, looking tired. “Maybe it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought my stones. The spirits probably think I’m greedy.”
Reign of Shadows Page 12
